Pro Wrasslin' Thread: I don't know what I just saw

[nachobro]

Oh it's Drew

[bork]

VINCE!

ROMAN!

DANIEL BRYAN!

KOFI!





and now here comes Drew to tank the ratings.

[nachobro]

pls no one from raw go to smackdown

[bork]

I'M BRILLIANT!  SOME MANIA REMATCHES!  THIS WILL BE A NIGHT YOU'LL NEVER FORGET (UNTIL NEXT MONDAY)!!!
\

[bork]

pls no one from raw go to smackdown

To me that pretty much translates to "AJ back on SD and welcome Seth Rollins too."

[nachobro]

a night we'll never forget cause this is when aj and the good brothers reunite and just kill everyone in the ring 

[Human Snorenado]

Vince, Roman, DBryan, and Kofi all came out within the first 10 minutes. They are dying for a good rating

WWE fans: "how about we have lots of action instead of 20 minutes of talking to open the show, then spend 1/3 of the rest of the time recapping shit that happened last week, 1/3 hyping shit for next week or next ppv, and also book people in a way that they have compelling, consistent characters that go beyond 'squints a lot, runs the yard, sells chicken finger ads'?"

WWE: here's all the shit you don't want actually

WWE fans: k I guess I'll go masturbate or whatever instead of watching RAW

WWE: Y U NO WATCH THO

[nachobro]

masturbating while watching raw

[nachobro]

lmao in the middle of this dreck i get a marketing email to try and get me to buy tickets to a live show

[bork]

a night we'll never forget cause this is when aj and the good brothers reunite and just kill everyone in the ring 

Haha no, because Vince doesn't know who those guys are. 

LASHLEY AND CORBIN and I just turned this off. 

[TVC15]

Nice to see Corbin catch a win over the best of the SD roster.

[dkdk]

https://twitter.com/allan_cheapshot/status/1125313121818640384

have fun.

[TVC15]

Ugh. Time to take a big shit.

[bork]

Came back to Braun dumping Sami in a dumpster and a Lucha House Party squash match.

That'll get those sagging ratings up!

[Trent Dole]

Ugh. Time to take a big shit.

         /

[bork]

LACEY EVANS SQUASHES A JOBBER IN FRONT OF THE MIB ENTRANTS!

RIVETING!

[nachobro]

thank god bork watches so i don't have to

[bork]

thank god bork watches so i don't have to

I was done after that, lol.

Checking the results, the Raw main event of Smackdown's Kofi Kingston versus Smackdown's Daniel Bryan ended with...Kofi retaining.  And now the wildcard rule is four wrestlers after Lars showed up.   But WAIT- Elias popped up too, so that's five!  Uh...? 

[bork]

Match of the night:

The Revival vs. Gallows & Anderson: Before the opening bell, The Usos interrupt from the stage with mics. They talk about The Revival claiming to be the hottest team in WWE. They ask if you've heard of Icey Hot, and they bring out a jar of something called "Uso Hot," and they say it should be activating right about now. The Revival members start selling that there is something in their trunks burning them. The Usos tell the Revival to come up to the stage and take some bottled water to relieve the pain. The Revival grabs the water and pours it in their trunks. The Usos then inform them that that will make the burning worse, and they were supposed to drink the water. The Revival keeps selling the burning in their trunks and they run backstage.

 

[Trent Dole]

If the only wrestling product you consume is wwe you might think you actually hate wrestling but really wwe is just really really bad. Watch something else, take in some local indie shows, anything but all vince's shit all the time. Ok maybe not say, tna, but generally.

LACEY EVANS SQUASHES A JOBBER IN FRONT OF THE MIB ENTRANTS!

RIVETING!

Man this segment was so stupid and pointless. All the other entrants beforehand went 'Screw Lacey lets show her' and then they did literally nothing, even after Becky showed up and whopped her post match, they just let her wander off! If there's several of them and only one her and they hate her, shouldn't they all collectively stomp the shit out of her? It was terrible and bad and made no goddamn sense! What are you even doing aaaah

[bork]

As pointed out by David Bixenspan, Triple H briefly liked a tweet blaming Vince McMahon for WWE’s ‘confusing and pointless’ storylines, and saying the company should provide its wrestlers with health insurance.

 

[bork]

https://twitter.com/Maffewgregg/status/1125703805788729344

[nachobro]

[bork]

Smackdown opens with AJ Styles, totally acting like a face.   

Meanwhile:

According to the Wrestling Observer, both the FOX and USA Networks are putting pressure on WWE to end the brand-split due to poor program ratings for Raw and SmackDown. This somewhat explains the bizarre "wild card" rule announced by Vince McMahon on last night's episode of Raw, where he stated that a certain set of superstars can jump back and forth between the brands at any point. This week's viewership numbers haven't been released yet, but WWE did have Game 4 of the NBA playoff showdown between the Houston Rockets and the Golden State Warriors to compete with.

Meanwhile, last week's numbers were the lowest WWE has had all year, down significantly from the same point last year at the start of the new quarter. SmackDown Live specifically has dropped nearly 40% in the 18-35 demographic.

[bork]

Oh boy, open the show with multiple people all talking in the ring.  Worked so well last night.

[nachobro]

no no no no no

don't ruin smackdown too goddamnit

[nachobro]

EL IDOLO PLS SAVE US

[nachobro]

usos 

[bork]

LOL.  The brand split is over. 

[nachobro]

 

[Trent Dole]

So will they let Becky keep both Women's straps and then just flat out unify them instead of putting one on stupid blonde with a southern accent who's finisher is punching?

[Human Snorenado]

Haha, this is hilarious. They're not gonna let anyone out of any contracts but so many fewer people are going to be on tv now. Maybe they'll have a house show touring crew that never shows up on tv.

[nachobro]

This is probably not good for Lars

On the flip side I will ask what are Kofi and R Truth supposed to be? A PG black panther stable? I always wondered why they had to team up two black guys. Both those guys look like they could be in a prison black gang."

Some blacks want to take advantage of their great grandparents misfortunes, and they want a piece of the pity pie. Instead of taking some personal responsibility, they choose to attack the white man and say we must take care of them financially. Black Panther Party. These guys are the epitome of racist clowns. When immigrants (particularly of the illegal persuasion coming from our neighbors down south) hear that we are "land of the free", to them that means they get free stuff. There is a clear political divide among the races. The democrats essentially bribing minorities for votes is the root cause of this problem. So many other reasons.

That sounds like a brave gay guy you worked with, in a weird in way. He would actually have no reservations about telling his straight co workers about how he had sex with other men? I'm sorry but that's where I would draw the line and make him feel like a worthless outcast of society.

https://www.reddit.com/r/SquaredCircle/comments/blxwyg/a_comprehensive_list_of_links_and_screenshots/

[nachobro]

nvm vince gonna have the belt on him by summerslam

It's not a racial thing. It's not whites vs the chinese or whites vs blacks or anything like that. It's what matters in this world. We live in America, the mecca of everything. WWE is the mecca of pro wrestling because they are an American-based company. We live in America, Meltzer is an American "journalist". IF these Chinese organizations had more exposure to the American audience, then I could see the logic behind throwing them a bone.

But the point is no one cares about Chinese wrestling in America except a select few who, like you and Meltzer, get excited at the prospect of being viewed as a "better educated and more cultured" wrestling fan. No one cares.

[TVC15]

Someone get Lars to post here.

[nachobro]

his posts on there shit on angle, jeff hardy, and r truth...all of whom he's taken out since he started

he also posted about dbryan so that bearded hippie better watch his back

[bork]

Haha, this is hilarious. They're not gonna let anyone out of any contracts but so many fewer people are going to be on tv now. Maybe they'll have a house show touring crew that never shows up on tv.

They're canceling house shows now, too!


They are taking guys from the SD house shows, on Monday Nights, to use on RAW. 

[nachobro]

fwiw right now the roster is extra mixed up cause they sent a bunch of people on an EU/UK tour, that's why roman and elias and finn weren't on SD

[bork]

Rhino said recently he's not renewing his contact- he was basically being paid to sit at home or in the back and do nothing, and they were going to pay him even MORE to keep on doing nothing, but he wants to go back to the indies to help work with younger wrestlers.  Bullshit or true?  It's kind of hard to imagine someone turning down more money in exchange for having to do no work, but OK I guess?

[nachobro]

well rhyno did run for state house as a republican in a very blue district in Michigan so he's no stranger to spinning his wheels for no reward

they could have also been offering him an agent contract with no performances and he wasn't interested because he still wanted to have matches

[Trent Dole]

Vince probably thinks exactly the same as Lars does.

[Human Snorenado]

If we're lucky Vince will stroke out and have to give up his duties, maybe AEW will give us two watchable wrasslin promotions after all, bless up

[Sideshow Raheem]

Tonight's Raw will be highlighted by TWO contract signings.

TWO.

Contract signings.

[bork]

Raw is also being taped and results are already in for a good chunk of the show.  No need to even leave that shit on in the background tonight!

[bork]

Smackdown will be taped too. 

Main Event:

spoiler (click to show/hide)

* Titus O'Neil def. EC3 in the opening bout of the evening. The fans inside the O2 Arena were already making noise. It's clear we've got a pretty hot crowd tonight. No surprise when WWE visits the U.K. O'Neil picked up the win via pin fall.

* The Revival def. The Lucha House Party in an excellent tag-team contest. This was a quality match. There was great in-ring action from all of these guys. In the end, The Revival picked up the "W."

[close]

Raw:

spoiler (click to show/hide)

   

WWE RAW SPOILER RESULTS (Taped On 5/13/2019)

    The show opens with the usual video package and then we shoot inside the O2 Arena to see a packed house full of passionate WWE fans.

    From there, we shoot to the ring and jump right into this week's red brand action.

    Special International Edition Of MizTV With Roman Reigns

    This week's RAW kicks off with a "special international edition" of Miz TV.

    The Miz talks about his upcoming Steel Cage match against Shane McMahon at the WWE Money In The Bank pay-per-view. He then introduces his guest for this week, SmackDown Live Superstar Roman Reigns.

    "The Big Dog" is immediately interrupted by Elias, who comes out with his trademark guitar. Shane McMahon also ends up coming out. Elias and Reigns square off until Miz and Bobby Lashley, who also entered the scene, attack him in a three-on-one beat down.

    Shane McMahon ends up announcing Bobby Lashley and Elias vs. The Miz and Roman Reigns for the show. That match is actually up next. Stay tuned!

    The Miz & Roman Reigns vs. Bobby Lashley & Elias

    In the match that was just put together after a wild installment of Miz TV, The Miz and Roman Reigns managed to pick up the "W" over the duo of Bobby Lashley and Elias.

    The match saw interference from Shane McMahon which led to the finish via Disqualification.

    After the match was over, Reigns fired back up and took out Shane while The Miz fought off the other guys with a steel chair.

    Winners via Disqualification: The Miz & Roman Reigns

    Video Package For WWE Universal Championship Match At WWE Money In The Bank

    After the tag-team match ended, we shoot to a video segment. This segment saw an in-depth video package that told the story and built-up the highly-anticipated WWE Universal Championship showdown between "The Architect" Seth Rollins and "The Phenomenal" A.J. Styles.

    Backstage: Shane McMahon, Braun Strowman & Sami Zayn

    From there, we go to a backstage segment. This segment saw the cameras backstage at the O2 Arena where Shane McMahon calls Braun Strowman to his office.

    "The Monster Among Men" shows up and we see Sami Zayn as well, who was already in the office with Shane-O-Mac. Zayn is complaining.

    Shane ends up announcing Braun Strowman vs. Sami Zayn for later in the show. The winner of the match will get Strowman's current spot in the Men's Money In The Bank Ladder Match at the upcoming WWE Money In The Bank pay-per-view.

    Mojo Rawley vs. Apollo Crews

    After the backstage segments and some brief down time, we head back to the ring for our next match of the evening.

    In one-on-one action, Mojo Rawley took on Apollo Crews. This was essentially a squash match, with Rawley getting the showcase spotlight. He picked up in a quick win, and did so in dominant fashion.

    Winner: Mojo Rawley

    Backstage: Nikki Cross' New Character

    After the Mojo Rawley/Apollo Crews squash match, we shoot to the back for another backstage segment.

    We see Nikki Cross. She is performing her new gimmick, as she teased in a recent social media promo that made the rounds recently. She comes off somewhat timid and very calm. Almost the opposite traits she displayed in her former character.

    It is announced that Nikki Cross will be replacing Alexa Bliss in the Fatal-4-Way Match.

    WWE Money In The Bank Double Contract Signing

    We head back inside the O2 Arena, which now features a decked out ring for the Double Contract Signing for WWE Money In The Bank.

    With that said, we shoot inside the ring where Charlotte Flair, Lacey Evans and WWE RAW and SmackDown Women's Champion Becky Lynch come out for the contract signing.

    Lynch received a huge ovation from the London fans. The crowd was also popping pretty good for particular lines she dropped during her promo.

    While trying to give her retort, "The Queen" was given the "What?!" treatment from the fans. The crowd didn't seem particularly interested in anything Evans had to say, either.

    When all was said-and-done, the contracts were signed for the Lynch vs. Evans RAW Women's Title Match and the Lynch vs. Charlotte SmackDown Women's Title Match at the 5/19 WWE Money In The Bank PPV at the XL Center in Hartford, Connecticut.

    After putting pen-to-paper, Evans and Charlotte puts boots-to-asses ... metaphorically speaking. The two ended up putting "The Man" through a table in the ring to end the segment.

    Baron Corbin vs. Ricochet

    From there we take a short break before heading back to the ring for our next contest.

    Baron Corbin and Ricochet make their way to the squared circle for the third match of the evening. This was a pretty good little match. The fans were way into Ricochet. In the end, however, Corbin ended up getting his hand raised.

    Winner: Baron Corbin

    Backstage: Cesaro, Rey Mysterio & His Son

    After the Corin-Ricochet bout, we shoot behind-the-scenes for another backstage segment.

    We see Rey Mysterio and his son when Cesaro enters the picture. Cesaro insults Mysterio's son one too many times, which leads to a brawl between Mysterio and Cesaro.

    Rey Mysterio vs. Cesaro

    The backstage chaos involving Rey Mysterio and Cesaro has now made its' way out to the ring.

    Our next contest is Mysterio and Cesaro in one-on-one action. This was kept pretty basic and obviously Mysterio didn't do a whole lot, but the crowd still seemed to enjoy it.

    The finish saw Mysterio pick up the win.

    Winner: Rey Mysterio

    Backstage: The Revival

    We head backstage again for another segment. The Revival are shown. The two cut promos about how they are done with being embarrassed. They make it clear that they are on a mission to get redemption. They end up challenging The Usos to a match.

    Backstage: Bray Wyatt Returns With Another "Firefly Fun House" Segment

    From there it was everyone's favorite time of the week -- Firefly Fun House time!

    Bray Wyatt returned with the latest installment of his much-talked-about segment. The segment featured a lot of the usual bells and whistles we have become accustomed to. The theme was to tease that Bray Wyatt will soon be returning to the ring.

    WWE Men's MITB Ladder Match Spot On-The-Line
    Braun Strowman vs. Sami Zayn

    After that awesome segment, we head back to the ring for the previously announced match between Braun Strowman and Sami Zayn.

    As announced earlier in the show, Strowman's spot in the Men's Money In The Bank Ladder Match will be on-the-line, meaning a win for Sami Zayn would result a change to the currently advertised match for the 5/19 PPV.

    When all was said and done, that is exactly what happened.

    Zayn ended up picking up the win over "The Monster Among Men" after Baron Corbin and Drew McIntyre did a run-in and interfered. With the win. Zayn now replaces Strowman in the Men's Money In The Bank Ladder Match at the WWE PPV in Hartford, CT. later this month.

    After this match, Strowman ended up firing back up and putting Sami Zayn through a table to end the RAW broadcast on the USA Network.

    Winner and NEW Men's MITB Ladder Match Participant: Sami Zayn

[close]

LMAO at what they're doing to Braun.  Did he piss off Vince or something?

[nachobro]

YOWIE WOWIE!

[bork]

So he's clown Kane now?    LOL if he wrestles in that mask.

[Human Snorenado]

The rumor about Braun is that he shows up late, leaves early, and other vague "doesn't show proper respect" rumors.

[team filler]

[TVC15]

Bork give me the SD spoilers so I can tell myself I don’t need to watch tonight.

[bork]

According to Dave Meltzer on Wrestling Observer Radio, Braun Strowman is wrestling injured - likely a significant bicep or triceps injury though it’s interesting that he worked a long match last on Raw. This doesn’t appear to be the reason he was taken out of the match though as Meltzer noted that his removal is part of a bigger, longer storyline that will play out presumably over the next several weeks.

https://twitter.com/WWEBrayWyatt/status/1128305261507174401
https://twitter.com/WWEBrayWyatt/status/1128308985470291968

Bork give me the SD spoilers so I can tell myself I don’t need to watch tonight.

Yup, will post them if nobody else does.

[TVC15]

Bork give me the SD spoilers so I can tell myself I don’t need to watch tonight.

You never need to watch Smackdown. Or Raw. Or any wrestling show. Don't do this to yourself, bb.

I had to quit drinking nearly completely due to health issues. I need to fill the vice hole with something.

[TVC15]

Also I have to finish editing a graphic novel on feminism tonight. I kind of wish the author could know I worked on it while watching WWE.

[Human Snorenado]

Also I have to finish editing a graphic novel on feminism tonight. I kind of wish the author could know I worked on it while watching WWE.

You should watch some good ol' Attitude era bra and panty matches and shit

[nachobro]

WWE supports a culture of inclusion regardless of gender, race, religion or sexual orientation, and we are committed to embracing all individuals as demonstrated by the diversity of our employees, performers and fans worldwide.

Dylan Miley (aka Lars Sullivan) will be fined $100,000 and required to complete sensitivity training for offensive commentary uncovered from his past. WWE will also facilitate meetings for Dylan with community organizations to foster further discussion around the power of social media and the impact of your words.

https://www.forbes.com/sites/alfredkonuwa/2019/05/14/wwe-fines-lars-sullivan-100000-for-past-bigoted-comments/#6c5bb57a604e

100K seems like a big fine

[nachobro]

he's on the smackdown roster so he'll win the wwe championship from kofi

[nachobro]

him immediately beating a black dude would be the most vince move ever though

[nachobro]

braun would never

[bork]

Smackdown spoilers

spoiler (click to show/hide)

WWE SMACKDOWN LIVE SPOILER RESULTS (Taped On 5/14/2019)


- The show opens with Roman Reigns introducing The Miz, however they are interrupted by Elias and Shane McMahon. Shane McMahon bans Miz from the arena tonight. Out of nowhere, Daniel Bryan and Rowan hit the ring for a four-man beat down on "The Big Dog," until his cousins The Usos hit the ring to make the save. A 3-on-4 Handicap Match is announced by Shane McMahon for later tonight. He mentions that if Miz interferes, the Steel Cage Match they have scheduled for the WWE Money In The Bank PPV will be cancelled. Check out some spoiler photos from this segment.



×


- Andrade won the The Fatal-4-Way involving himsel, Ali, Randy Orton and WWE Intercontinental Champion Finn Balor took place. The finish saw Andrade get the pin on Balor. There were some cool ladder spots in the match, and some exciting high spots. This was said to be an extremely good match early in the show that really set the tone for the evening. Check out spoiler video highlights from the Fatal-4-Way match here.


- After the match, Andrade goes for the Money In The Bank briefcase, however Ricochet comes out and hits the ring to stop him.


- Backstage, we see WWE Champion Kofi Kingston with Xavier Woods. Kingston makes it clear he wants to go on The Kevin Owens Show by himself later in the show.


- Charlotte Flair cuts a quick promo on RAW and SmackDown Women's Champion Becky Lynch. "The Queen" vows to win the SmackDown Women's Championship and subsequently end her rivalry with "The Man" for good when the two meet in the ring for the Women's blue brand title at the WWE Money In The Bank PPV. Check out video footage of this segment by clicking here.


- Another cryptic backstage vignette with Aleister Black aired.


- Shane McMahon, Daniel Bryan, Rowan & Elias beat Roman Reigns and The Usos in the 3-on-4 Handicap Match announced in the opening segment of the show. After the match, the heel foursome continued to punish Reigns and The Usos until The Miz hit the ring to make the save.


- Backstage, we get quick promos from Paige and Ember.


- The Kabuki Warriors def. Mandy Rose & Sonya Deville in tag-team action. Kairi Sane and Asuka came out and Paige announces that the duo will now be known as The Kabuki Warriors. The Ilconics were on commentary for the tag match, which Asuka and San won when Asuka rolled up Mandy for the 1-2-3.


- We see Lars Sullivan


- Kevin Owens cuts a promo backstage. As he's talking, he is interrupted by The New Day's music. Out comes WWE Champion Kofi Kingston to the ring while Owens is shown on the titan tron still talking backstage. Finally, Owens makes his way out and he and Kingston brawl in the aisle. Sami Zayn ends up running in and helping Owens beat down the WWE Champion until Kingston's New Day brother Xavier Woods comes out to even things up. Eventually, the heels retreat as Kingston and Woods stand tall.

[close]

[bork]