Update to my story:
What happened dude, why the rage?
I really don't know. Maybe that is where the therapy would come in at. I'm at a good paying job but for some reason, I feel the need to keep shooting myself in the foot. I didn't really screw up on any of the work but my people skills with my co-workers suffered greatly. They still do stuff for me on occasion but I can hear them talking...
Which sucks because I never really had problems with people I worked with until this job, my first career job. Yet I am all too willing to firebomb my career with the company. Management definitely notices but at the same time, I received a raise, bonus pay, and great reviews. Which puzzles me a bit but I came to that realization yesterday and it was very sobering. I feel like a complete piece of shit and I'm not sure if I can resurrect things to the way they were at the beginning. I'll do my best to try but if I can't, I understand completely.
It's good that you're recognizing that stuff before it gets out of hand. Maybe you can apologize to your co-workers? If that's awkward, then just start doing little things for the people you think are the most pissed. If you can calm down and fly straight for a few weeks, it'll be back to normal.
I apologized to the one who seemed the most pissed. We talked for 20 minutes about various things. We were all pretty chatty about stuff but I wasn't invited to lunch with the rest of the group
Yes, I have become that guy.
I guess there is the job transfer but it is a demotion (maybe a $8000-9000 pay cut) and I have crippling student loan debt from stupid and shitty financial decisions ($80,000). I have nearly $20,000 in savings. My plan might be to "live off of the savings" so to speak and put down entire paychecks towards the debt until I can get it down to more manageable levels. The pay cut will sting because that would effectively put off paying them off for another couple of years. The interest on my student loans are fantastic (3.1%) so if there is an opportunity to pay off as much principal as I can, now would be the time to do it before interest rates surge (if they do)
On the other hand, if I keep my job, I keep my current salary (including my new raise) but I'm in an isolated area with nothing to do and co-workers who want little to do with me. I always had a lot of friends and never really experienced the cold shoulder before. At first, I didn't care but as other BS kept piling up, those little rejections here and there are taking a toll.
The student loan debt is the biggest factor here. I don't mind a pay cut but the loans man, the loans... :'(
My best strategy is to take the pay cut, start with a clean slate, hope to hell my parents will let me live with them for a few months, live off of the savings nest egg and start putting down entire paychecks towards the loans. Then find my own place and taper off the loan payments as since they are consolidated, I can pay off little chunks of the loan so my minimums are reduced.
I've never hit this low in my life to be honest, which explains the whining.
Just needed to rant for a bit.
