RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011

[CatsCatsCats]

Ooooh I’m talking to a match that’s so demonic, you guys

[Atramental]

Deets? 

[Assimilate]

Continuing my love / hate relationship with dating apps.
Tried Bumble, which is basically an amplified Tinder : As far as Paris is concerned it's all urban media elites and liberal careers : LOTS of women in the journalism, advertising, marketing, cosmetics business (literally dozens working at Publicis groupe), otherwise tech, lawyers, some artists, doctors and nurses or airplane personnel (which I guess for the latter two get somewhat shafted in dating by the work schedule). 90% of shiny happy people and stunning women in bikinis or evening / socialite attire, all of them seemingly globe trotters and riding horses on the regular (a handful of polo players even). Photo compression is HORRIBLE too. Not for me but I saw some woman I had the hots for a decade+ ago swiping by. Still looks fine and is doing OK in her job it seems, good for her and my time there wasn't totally useless.

hahaha and they're each demanding a tall, handsome, sarcastically funny guy with a great career that pays well but that doesn't demand too much time so they can get the attention they think they deserve while at the same time believing a quality BJ isn't a necessity and they shouldn't work to make you cum at all, it should just 'happen' because they're fabulous

The Modern Woman.

for a moment thought i was on /r/incel when i read this post

ok? have you not been on Bumble? stop being such a white knight little bitch.

[Kara]

Continuing my love / hate relationship with dating apps.
Tried Bumble, which is basically an amplified Tinder : As far as Paris is concerned it's all urban media elites and liberal careers : LOTS of women in the journalism, advertising, marketing, cosmetics business (literally dozens working at Publicis groupe), otherwise tech, lawyers, some artists, doctors and nurses or airplane personnel (which I guess for the latter two get somewhat shafted in dating by the work schedule). 90% of shiny happy people and stunning women in bikinis or evening / socialite attire, all of them seemingly globe trotters and riding horses on the regular (a handful of polo players even).

There's a small but regularly occurring cohort in this group that for whatever reason thinks I'm worth talking to on a dating site and every time it happens it's hilarious when they find out I'm the kind of cosmopolitan who wants to take a squatting tour of Europe and not the kind who climbed a mountain in Nepal to find himself because he can't embrace the inevitable ennui of modern existence.

[VomKriege]

OKCupid for some reason seem to think I'm super not conservative (like bottom 10%) for some reason. Also super "rational" but that doesn't surprise me as much. The rest of their labels seem somewhat accurate.

[VomKriege]

the kind who climbed a mountain in Nepal to find himself because he can't embrace the inevitable ennui of modern existence.

Oh that fucking mountain 
The inflatable unicorn for swimming pools is another staple.

[Assimilate]

In my experience as a tall, handsome, sarcastically funny guy with a great career that pays well but that doesn't demand too much time so I can give the attention they think they deserve I find girls are quite thirsty to show off their BJ skills.

Maybe it's you, not them, Assimilate?

Breh, you're 50 years old. 

[Kara]

the kind who climbed a mountain in Nepal to find himself because he can't embrace the inevitable ennui of modern existence.

Oh that fucking mountain 
The inflatable unicorn for swimming pools is another staple.

Another variant is this:

Her: Oh, you studied Arabic? Have you ever been to Dubai?
Me: I haven't left the country in so long I don't even have a passport anymore. Muttering: And I'm probably on a list now that prevents me from getting one.
Her: I went N years ago and it was amazing.
Me: A Dickensian Nightmare with Petrostate Characteristics doesn't really appeal to me, and anyway Abu Dhabi owns my favorite soccer team so if I had to go to the UAE it'd be there out of some misguided tribalism.
Her:

[BlueTsunami]

Never go full intellectual. I find arrogance is only really tolerated six months into a relationship. Theyve become too invested. After that, go to town!

[Olivia Wilde Homo]

So she’s been to Dubai, eh? 

[Kara]

So she’s been to Dubai, eh? 

Hobby humor.

[Kara]

For those of you giving me relationship advice based on these anecdotes: (1) thank you, (2) these interactions took place over 2.5 years ago and I don't date anymore, and (3) I am giving inaccurate recollections of the interactions for comedic effect.

That said, Experiment did give some good advice. If a woman says she loves Dubai I'm now going to immediately ask, "Are you on Instagram? "

[Olivia Wilde Homo]

On a semi-related note, any girl on Twitter who uses #flymetoyou is a hooker.  Search for this hashtag and you essentially have a comprehensive list of escorts in the country, if not worldwide

https://mobile.twitter.com/hashtag/flymetoyou?src=hashtag_click

[BlueTsunami]

One chick, 5'5, 34DD 550USD for 1 hour. Damn. I wonder what my bootyhole would be worth to a 65yo multimillionaire perv. Probably a ticket to a matinee showing at any AMC theater.

[team filler]

550$ 

[Olivia Wilde Homo]

One chick, 5'5, 34DD 550USD for 1 hour. Damn. I wonder what my bootyhole would be worth to a 65yo multimillionaire perv. Probably a ticket to a matinee showing at any AMC theater.

Nice link 

550$ 

Sorry to hear you’re poor

[team filler]

breh, none of these whores are worth half that 

[Olivia Wilde Homo]

Post links, I want to see who you all are talking about

[BlueTsunami]

NSFW: https://mobile.twitter.com/SashaStolin

Shes the first one I looked at. She has fake funhouse titties but I always wanted to do a Killer Clowns from Outer Space scenario

[Atramental]

Looks like I've got a date lined up for this Friday. 

spoiler (click to show/hide)

It only took a couple hundred botched attempts. 

[close]

[VomKriege]

For those of you giving me relationship advice based on these anecdotes: (1) thank you, (2) these interactions took place over 2.5 years ago and I don't date anymore, and (3) I am giving inaccurate recollections of the interactions for comedic effect.

That said, Experiment did give some good advice. If a woman says she loves Dubai I'm now going to immediately ask, "Are you on Instagram? "

The Modern Man everyone ! You feel too entitled to give good BJ too ?

[CatsCatsCats]

Looks like I've got a date lined up for this Friday. 

spoiler (click to show/hide)

It only took a couple hundred botched attempts. 

[close]

Me too 

[Huff]

Looks like I've got a date lined up for this Friday. 

spoiler (click to show/hide)

It only took a couple hundred botched attempts. 

[close]

Quite a coincidence you have a date right after we talking about #flymetoyou babes

[BlueTsunami]

Looks like I've got a date lined up for this Friday. 

spoiler (click to show/hide)

It only took a couple hundred botched attempts. 

[close]

Quite a coincidence you have a date right after we talking about #flymetoyou babes

In that case, some important points for Atra

Advanced booking is greatly appreciated and highly recommended.

Always have the donation ready in cash, unless otherwise agreed, and counted; make sure the amount is correct and place it in an envelope or separate from the rest of your money. At the appropriate time (during the first minutes of the meeting) hand it to her or place it in a very visible place so you spare both of you of any embarrassment.

We do referrals but you must see our model first. NO EXCEPTIONS. This is for the safety of the community.

Cancelation policy is 48 hours. Cancellations within 48 hours of the appointment time will be charged 50% of the appointment fee.

The donations are for our model's time and companionship only and they are not negotiable.

Before the meeting please make sure you are freshly showered, well-groomed, smell nice, and have minty-fresh breath.

Please be respectful and always be a gentleman. Your kindness, generosity, and chivalry will be appreciated and rewarded.

[Flannel Boy]

Looks like I've got a date lined up for this Friday. 

spoiler (click to show/hide)

It only took a couple hundred botched attempts. 

[close]

Quite a coincidence you have a date right after we talking about #flymetoyou babes

In that case, some important points for Atra

Advanced booking is greatly appreciated and highly recommended.

Always have the donation ready in cash, unless otherwise agreed, and counted; make sure the amount is correct and place it in an envelope or separate from the rest of your money. At the appropriate time (during the first minutes of the meeting) hand it to her or place it in a very visible place so you spare both of you of any embarrassment.

We do referrals but you must see our model first. NO EXCEPTIONS. This is for the safety of the community.

Cancelation policy is 48 hours. Cancellations within 48 hours of the appointment time will be charged 50% of the appointment fee.

The donations are for our model's time and companionship only and they are not negotiable.

Before the meeting please make sure you are freshly showered, well-groomed, smell nice, and have minty-fresh breath.

Please be respectful and always be a gentleman. Your kindness, generosity, and chivalry will be appreciated and rewarded.

Punctual, respectful, kind, generous, chivalrous, gentlemanly, freshly showered, well-groomed, smelling nice with minty-fresh breath? If all that were true, your services wouldn't be needed.

[BlueTsunami]

Looks like I've got a date lined up for this Friday. 

spoiler (click to show/hide)

It only took a couple hundred botched attempts. 

[close]

Quite a coincidence you have a date right after we talking about #flymetoyou babes

In that case, some important points for Atra

Advanced booking is greatly appreciated and highly recommended.

Always have the donation ready in cash, unless otherwise agreed, and counted; make sure the amount is correct and place it in an envelope or separate from the rest of your money. At the appropriate time (during the first minutes of the meeting) hand it to her or place it in a very visible place so you spare both of you of any embarrassment.

We do referrals but you must see our model first. NO EXCEPTIONS. This is for the safety of the community.

Cancelation policy is 48 hours. Cancellations within 48 hours of the appointment time will be charged 50% of the appointment fee.

The donations are for our model's time and companionship only and they are not negotiable.

Before the meeting please make sure you are freshly showered, well-groomed, smell nice, and have minty-fresh breath.

Please be respectful and always be a gentleman. Your kindness, generosity, and chivalry will be appreciated and rewarded.

Punctual, respectful, kind, generous, chivalrous, gentlemanly, freshly showered, well-groomed, smelling nice with minty-fresh breath? If all that were true, your services wouldn't be needed.

Also enough disposable cash to throw down 1 hour of cooch time for $550

[Atramental]

Looks like I've got a date lined up for this Friday. 

spoiler (click to show/hide)

It only took a couple hundred botched attempts. 

[close]

Quite a coincidence you have a date right after we talking about #flymetoyou babes

I’m too poor to afford a $550 hot prostitute.

A $30 (at most) tinder date with an average looking Latina will have to do.

[Flannel Boy]

Also enough disposable cash to throw down 1 hour of cooch time for $550

For $550 an hour I expect cross-border tax expertise.

[team filler]

 

[Flannel Boy]

And not to mention the cost of the plane ticket.

Last time I flew a girl to me for sex it cost me some airline miles I was about to lose and a gallon of gas.

 

That's one efficient plane.

[CatsCatsCats]

Atra pm me your phone number, I need to share my demonic ways with someone

[CatsCatsCats]

I just don’t know where to upload pics discreetly, last time I uploaded my tinder exploits to imgur or something and got hate messages 

[Atramental]

Atra pm me your phone number, I need to share my demonic ways with someone

I’ll do so once I’m at my house.

[Atramental]

Looks like I've got a date lined up for this Friday. 

spoiler (click to show/hide)

It only took a couple hundred botched attempts. 

[close]

Motherfucker. 

[BlueTsunami]

Send: oh thank God, I have to fly out to Madrid early tomorrow and was dreading having to cancel on you! Then pour out some wine and masturbate into a sock.

[Mupepe]

Don’t forget to tell her the trip is for the CIA. Your employer.

[Olivia Wilde Homo]

Great, I bleached my asshole for nothing.  You owe me big

Please post this.  She’s just going to unfollow you anyway.  Go out strong

[Atramental]

She says she'll be willing to meet up Monday or Tuesday.

[shosta]

You're in, just arrange the date and don't ruin it

[BlueTsunami]

Hope you didnt send that butthole thing yet, unless thats an update after the butthole thing in which case wooo doggie

Monday/Tuesday meetup though  worst case scenario is y'all gonna get some Sbarros and browse a Hot Topic

[team filler]

don't respond until wednesday

[Atramental]

 

[BlueTsunami]

I feel you were too quick on the response. Should have let it stew for a night, make her think youre under a single lamp on a beaten up old art desk for thr night creating art, then hit her back with a response. I know I know, lets all be real and honest and act on our instincts but watch this chick waffle again because hmmmm he's a little too eager. Either way, if it works out I'll jerk off into a sock.

[Atramental]

Getting a date lined up with Jeanna right now. Funny how things play out.

edit: Or maybe I'm getting the run around... 

[Snowden]

Getting a date lined up with Jeanna right now. Funny how things play out.

edit: Or maybe I'm getting the run around... 

I'm just an occasional lurker here, so feel free to disregard, but the feeling I get from all your posts is that you're just trying too hard. In my limited experience from online dating, girls saw that immediately. I found more success with getting dates just not caring in what I responded with, and using little to no punctuation/capitalization. 

Based on the girl friends I have, none of them take tinder/bumble seriously, so I feel like you're attempts to set up these dates five days in advance is too much room for time for them to either rethink it, or get talked out of it by their friends. Just don't take it too seriously and use it for hookups, idk that's what worked for me.

[team filler]

Getting a date lined up with Jeanna right now. Funny how things play out.

edit: Or maybe I'm getting the run around... 

I'm just an occasional lurker here, so feel free to disregard, but the feeling I get from all your posts is that you're just trying too hard. In my limited experience from online dating, girls saw that immediately. I found more success with getting dates just not caring in what I responded with, and using little to no punctuation/capitalization. 

Based on the girl friends I have, none of them take tinder/bumble seriously, so I feel like you're attempts to set up these dates five days in advance is too much room for time for them to either rethink it, or get talked out of it by their friends. Just don't take it too seriously and use it for hookups, idk that's what worked for me.

[Atramental]

I might as well text drunk or high if that’s the case.

All day I’m constantly in “professional mode” due to my job and my natural temperament.

[team filler]

fuck these goddamn sluts. they're not worth the sweat off your ass crack, treat them accordingly.

[VomKriege]

From my limited experience, anything longer than two sentences in chat will get the discussion cold right away. Maybe it's profile dependent but on Tinder I would expect it to be the norm.

[Mupepe]

has anyone recommended that you should be cocky and funny yet?

[Atramental]

has anyone recommended that you should be cocky and funny yet?

I know you're joking but that is like telling someone "be confident!".

And as someone who wasn't confident, when it came to dating, for the longest time... it did not happen over night. It was an emotionally brutal and long process of trial and error.

What sped up the process a bit was having a coach/guide in the beginning (SharkJohnson/KissVibes) but I still had to put myself out there and take multiple falls & go down many dead ends.

[CatsCatsCats]

Honestly, the way you handle being cancelled on and stuff is pretty great considering the origin story 🤷‍♀️

[Atramental]

Anywho, I'm gonna force myself to go out to a bar tonight by myself since I've been putting that off for a while.

[shosta]

Friend who just had a baby with her deadbeat husband messaged me out of the blue:

"Can I tell you something"
"Of course"
"I really wish I could fuck you"

Lol. Don't have a baby at 22 if you're white trash.

[team filler]

send her my way 

[Mupepe]

But you’re going to fuck her and get that milk right?

[shosta]

Nah not gonna help her make mistakes, I'm sending her good vibes and giving her advice on fixing her relationship because that's what friends do

[Atramental]

What’s this “pour will be a lot quieter” line about? You talking about the bartender pouring a drink?

On busy days like Friday it’s super hard to hear people talk. Sometimes it’s because a band is playing or because they have the music just blasting through the speaker system in order to drown out the already loud conversational ambient noise of a hundred or so people.

[tiesto]

Heh, my first date with my girlfriend was at a local bar where a DJ spins classic rock, pop, indie vinyl. Only seats were near a speaker and there was constant screechy feedback. Maybe that's why she wanted to go out again, she probably couldn't hear all the stupid or awkward shit I yammer on about due to nervousness:p

[toku]

he's exploring his options