My friend is in the Air Force and was stationed in Guam until only recently. He met this girl during basic training I think. I hadn't met her until last year and I did'nt really have an opinion. My friend is one of the guys who needs to be in a relationship, no matter the quality. He is defined by his relationship and becomes really clingy. It's fine, thats him. Though I think it comes from issues from his mom(something she basically admitted to me). I mean he told me a lot about her, but honestly nothing positive. Stuff like shes controlling, he can't talk to or have any female friends because of her(actually ruined one of his female friendships back in IL), doesn't understand his humor, share any of his interests or hobbies, how he was to pay attention to her 100% when she's around, and so on. Some shallow stuff, some not. At the end of the day and a couple of years into the relationship. I couldn't tell you why they were together or what they saw in each other. Beyond the fact that both people are super co-dependent. To the point that it seems unhealthy. They got to a point where they were about to break up, and my advice was to just do it. He's separated by an ocean and while pretty much at every instance of free time she would travel all the way from Pittsburgh to Guam(paid by him of course), really all he had to do was not answer the phone.
Big mistake, she sent a long ass facebook rant to me(and my friends mother) blaming me for sabotaging their relationship. By then I had grown to dislike her, it's only after that, that I had a long conversation with my friends mom. My friends mom admits in her struggle to survive in the US(they are immigrants) she probably was hard on my friend and he probably miss constructed that as a lack of love, which would explain why he clings to any woman he can. But basically her problem with this women is that she is crazy, she wants my friend only for herself, and has no interests in them having a separate life. She's threatened suicide if he leaves her. Said she will live poor and destitute without his support(she is 33, he is 26). When they visited Chicago(they have to go everywhere together) she could not afford him anytime alone with his friends or his own mom. Which yes sucked for me, because I wanted to simply see my friend without her and if she was cool maybe that would be fine, but in my real life interactions with her she might as well not be there. Completely quite and subservient, only appearing alive to do cutsey girl friend stuff. When he visited Chicago recently he had a couple of days before she showed up and they were great, but there was a ticking timebomb for a fun. Once she arrived we could'nt do anything.
I mean I already realize as people get older they are going to start families and what not. I have a few friends in relationships, but they all seem healthy and it's not like they don't have time to do other things. Or their partner is actually cool.
There's some tension between my friend and me. I've made comments against her and he;s made comments about me. We laugh it off, but he recently told me shes going to move down to where he is now(which is funny because there is'nt a single place for her to get a job down there so I know the plan is he just pays for everything). His argument for her is that she is only controlling because she's far away and that makes her nervous, but if they are together then it's ok. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to see the holes there and till this day I have never heard him say a positive about her, not even about the sex. I don't understand. Well I do, but that is something no one will admit.
But yes we were actually talking about them getting married and how I would be the best man and how planning is going to start really soon. And I just thought to myself I really don't want to be involved in this. He's called me a douchebag before when we jockinglly talked about this, but if I do it in real life. Well it probably wont end well.
