FitnessBore - 2018 edition

[Mupepe]

wake your wife up!  get some cardio and it will help you fall asleep.  it's saturday there right?

[Mupepe]

I always see a bunch of guys using the smith machines for bench but doing very little weight and literally throwing it in the air and catching it, coming down and on the way up throwing it up again.

Technically that would be a plyometric exercise, but it seems sort of daft. Why not just do explosive push ups? You should ask them that, and also ask them to demonstrate such push ups.

hahaha

the last time I asked a guy about what he was doing, he was so hopped up on testosterone that he took offensive and thought I was criticizing his routine.  I just had no idea what the fuck he was doing and was genuinely interested!

[Cormacaroni]

Saturday morning, yes. Yeah, why not. You never know your luck. alright, later folks.

[Ganhyun]

coolest thing about my gym is the 68 year old trainer who is as strong or stronger than most of the roided up body builders and beats 18-20 yr olds in bodybuilding competitions.

[Mupepe]

Saturday morning, yes. Yeah, why not. You never know your luck. alright, later folks.

later!

coolest thing about my gym is the 68 year old trainer who is as strong or stronger than most of the roided up body builders and beats 18-20 yr olds in bodybuilding competitions.

hahaha

The coolest thing about my gym is all the fucking milfs and hot girlfriends who come just to watch their roided out boyfriends lift.  These women don't do any exercise themselves, but they're still wearing tight ass spandex.  Fuck man.

worst thing?  all the old dudes letting their shit hang out everywhere in the locker room.  especially when they start talking to you all excited and you know that if you move your eyeballs a centimeter south a wiggling worm is bouncing around like it took a bump of meth down there.

[Ganhyun]

Saturday morning, yes. Yeah, why not. You never know your luck. alright, later folks.

later!

coolest thing about my gym is the 68 year old trainer who is as strong or stronger than most of the roided up body builders and beats 18-20 yr olds in bodybuilding competitions.

hahaha

The coolest thing about my gym is all the fucking milfs and hot girlfriends who come just to watch their roided out boyfriends lift.  These women don't do any exercise themselves, but they're still wearing tight ass spandex.  Fuck man.

worst thing?  all the old dudes letting their shit hang out everywhere in the locker room.  especially when they start talking to you all excited and you know that if you move your eyeballs a centimeter south a wiggling worm is bouncing around like it took a bump of meth down there.

lol we have that here too sadly. I've learned the best times to go to avoid the old people though. We have a few hot milfs and such that do some of the classes too, but not alot right now sadly.

[duckman2000]

especially when they start talking to you all excited and you know that if you move your eyeballs a centimeter south a wiggling worm is bouncing around like it took a bump of meth down there.

+ 1 for working out at home. The only excited naked dude I'm likely to meet in the shower is myself, and I already try to seduce myself in the mirror post-workout anyway.

[Mupepe]

So last night I hit the gym again because of some anger issues. I moved up to 185 on bench and 215 on squat. But I had to bail on the last Rep of bench. I barely made it onto the lower rest things!  That shit was kinda scary. I should have known better

[archie4208]

260 has been defeated.   But I think I will redo it again Monday since the last two sets were very sloppy.  Also, I got very nervous as I was heading to the doors at the Y.  I was ready to head back to the car and go home.  Squats instill fear in the hearts of men.

[The Fake Shemp]

Forgive me father Cormacaroni, for I have sinned: I purchased and ate an entire personal pan pizza from Pizza Hut.

The only thing I can say for myself is that I did my daily 41 minutes of cardio, two sets of crunches and dumbbell curls. Even with the pizza, that really only puts me at 1,500 calories for the day.

[demi]

 

[Cormacaroni]

I feel as if I'm in a fight with demi for your very soul, Willco.

Then again, I made pizza for the fam last night, and will be having leftovers today

[The Fake Shemp]

Like I said, I only consumed 800 calories for the day prior to the pizza! That's worth something, right?

It's pretty mind boggling that a personal pan pizza accounts for almost half my calories for the day. It really puts things in perspective. I just wish I had not eaten it so late - there was no time for dinner in between working out and going to the movies. By the time I was out, Pizza Hut was the only thing open.

[Mupepe]

There are some foods that can account for your entire calories for the day!

I had a large blizzard from dairy queen with cookie dough and oreos.  mmmmmm  my special treat for the week.

[Cormacaroni]

Like I said, I only consumed 800 calories for the day prior to the pizza! That's worth something, right?

It's pretty mind boggling that a personal pan pizza accounts for almost half my calories for the day. It really puts things in perspective. I just wish I had not eaten it so late - there was no time for dinner in between working out and going to the movies. By the time I was out, Pizza Hut was the only thing open.

Don't get so caught up in calories, Willco. The digestive system is more complex than that, as you're already discovering (when you expected to lose weight that time but didn't). You need to consider insulin response just as much as the calorie figures.

[Olivia Wilde Homo]

800 calories total for a day?

I see a big plateau coming up here.

[archie4208]

It sounds like he had 800 calories before the pizza.  Don't fret, Willco.  A cheat meal every week is good to help keep yourself motivated.

[Olivia Wilde Homo]

It sounds like he had 800 calories before the pizza.  Don't fret, Willco.  A cheat meal every week is good to help keep yourself motivated.

Yeah, after reading it again, that sounds right.  Thanks for pointing that out.

Speaking of which, I had a cheat day yesterday.  I had the Bacon and Blue burger from Wendy's and omg...

I should learn to cook so I can make better cheat meals than to hit up Wendy's.

[The Fake Shemp]

Yeah, that was before the pizza. I topped out at 1,500 for yesterday.

[archie4208]

Yeah, that was before the pizza. I topped out at 1,500 for yesterday.

That's all? 

Don't cut your calories short because you had an unplanned cheat meal.  Just accept you made a mistake and move on.

[The Fake Shemp]

I honestly didn't!

I had a bowl of oatmeal for breakfast, some grilled chicken strips and pikefish for lunch (with half a cup of greek yogurt), a Kashi protein/fiber bar in the afternoon and then the pizza later that night. I would have eaten earlier, but I had to race to the movies after I worked out.

[Draft]

Forgive me father Cormacaroni, for I have sinned: I purchased and ate an entire personal pan pizza from Pizza Hut.

The only thing I can say for myself is that I did my daily 41 minutes of cardio, two sets of crunches and dumbbell curls. Even with the pizza, that really only puts me at 1,500 calories for the day.

What do you mean, even with the pizza? Are you offsetting your total calorie intake with whatever calories were "burned" during exercise?

If so, don't do that. It doesn't work that way. Whatever you eat, that's your calorie count.

[duckman2000]

I don't get this, though. Are you straight up counting calories, as in all sources being the same and the number being the most crucial thing, or do you actually separate the values depending on the source? I've seen some people do the former, and that's never made much sense to me.

[The Fake Shemp]

How would I separate calories? Calories are calories.

If you're talking about monitoring how much protein, fat and carbs I eat, I do that as well.

... No, Draft, I ate 1,500 calories. The end.

[duckman2000]

I see some people look at calorie count first and product content second (if at all), that's what I'm talking about. So they basically rob themselves of energy indiscriminately. The only situation I can think of where that would be a good idea would be if some dude wants to do absolutely nothing and not turn tubby.

In other news, the gremlin has finally made herself useful. Feels pretty stupid doing push-ups with a kid on your back, but that's an added 40lbs of resistance.

[The Fake Shemp]

The number matters the most to me, because honestly, if you keep things relatively low calorie, that means you are keeping things low fat and low carb. It's not like you can really go crazy eating sweets and red meat and stuff while counting your calories.

I mean, there are times when a lot of calories in something is somewhat good for you. Like I use a tbsp of extra light olive oil with some dishes. That alone is 120 calories, but the nutritional content is stuff my body can use.

[Draft]

I only ask because some cat in the GAF fitness thread was talking about counting calories, and he was saying stuff like, for the week he'd be at 2,000 a day if you offset what he ate with what he burned off doing cardio, and I was like bro, you are eating in excess of your maintenance level by like... hundreds of calories.

Anyway you should eat more than 1500 calories a day and also eat more fat.

[The Fake Shemp]

I try. I just eat when I'm hungry 'till I'm full.

And to be fair to that guy, I know plenty of people that use calories burned to offset calories taken in. You can calculate how many calories your body actually needs, and if exercise in excess of that, the calories burned do count.

[Draft]

That's pussy talk. Eat with a purpose.

Edit: No, it never counts. Never. What you eat, you eat. You don't get to cram 3 thousand calories a day and the feel good about yourself because the elliptical machine says you burned off 1k. The machine is stupid.

The only control you have over calories is what goes in. What goes out... who can say.

[The Fake Shemp]

You can calculate how many calories you burned, though. It's not magic.

I'm not saying you should necessarily trust what any piece of cardio equipment says, because those are rarely accurate - but technology now exists that can tell you how much you burned.

So yes, if you eat 3,000 calories and you offset that by burning 1,000 - you're in good shape.

[Draft]

Good luck with this calorie counting "technology."

[duckman2000]

Alright, fresh question. With a "routine" that involves squats, what the hell does one do to avoid getting a damned bubble butt? Right now it's still squarely in the aging pornstar territory, but I can tell where this is heading.

[Draft]

Why would you not want a firm, round behind?

Front squats and high bar squats engage the quads more and the butt/hamstrings less. Just do front squats.

[Cormacaroni]

Alright, fresh question. With a "routine" that involves squats, what the hell does one do to avoid getting a damned bubble butt? Right now it's still squarely in the aging pornstar territory, but I can tell where this is heading.

Yeah, I need to do something about these rippling biceps, oaken shoulders, washboard stomach and steely thighs as well

[duckman2000]

Firm and round is fine, I just don't want a freakish balloon rump

Yeah, I need to do something about these rippling biceps, oaken shoulders, washboard stomach and steely thighs as well

Truth be told, I think the wife is getting mildly tired of me complaining about my frame becoming just a bit too beautiful. Also, comments like "my beautiful legs sure do hurt from all that heavy liftin'!" seem to inspire less chuckles with each repetition. All this beauty puts a strain on my act. 

[Cormacaroni]

Well, when you get there...stop squatting for a while.

[Draft]

Firm and round is fine, I just don't want a freakish balloon rump

Yeah, I need to do something about these rippling biceps, oaken shoulders, washboard stomach and steely thighs as well

Truth be told, I think the wife is getting mildly tired of me complaining about my frame becoming just a bit too beautiful. Also, comments like "my beautiful legs sure do hurt from all that heavy liftin'!" seem to inspire less chuckles with each repetition. All this beauty puts a strain on my act. 

Listen to yourself. You're like one of these women afraid to touch a barbell because they'll "blow up."

You won't get a huge, powerful ass unless you squat heavy and eat like crazy. Unless you are one of those sons of bitches who get swole if they glance at dumb bell. In which case, God damn you.

[archie4208]

duckman just wants to "tone up"

[duckman2000]

Hey, I'm quite happy with what I have right now. Although if I would change anything, I'd probably cut down a bit on the eating because the mid section has gotten out of control as of late.

[Cormacaroni]

He's always pretty vague, but he usually implies that he's pretty huge already. In which case, it may well be a legitimate concern. If you don't need to be any stronger, why get bigger?

But the answer is still the same: once you get to that point, just ease off for a while and work on something else. Get good at running or rowing and watch that muscle melt away!

[duckman2000]

I'm thinking things will get under control once I get more naturally active, which has sort of been the whole point of getting into lifting weights in the first place. I think the more time I spend specifically working out (aka simulation), the more I focus on stupid shit like uneven muscletudiness and a protruding butt.   

[The Fake Shemp]

Peeked at the scale today. We're are at 40 lbs. of weight loss in two months.

[duckman2000]

That's crazy

[Cormacaroni]

Take a bow, Willco.

[The Fake Shemp]

Thanks, guys. That still puts me at only 335 lbs., so I still have a long way to go.

Went to breakfast today, and a family friend commented on the weight loss without any prodding. Felt good.

[Cormacaroni]

Bet you secretly wanted him to prod you though 

[The Fake Shemp]

 

[archie4208]

Peeked at the scale today. We're are at 40 lbs. of weight loss in two months.

That's insane.  Keep up the good work.

[Mupepe]

Hell yeah, will!  Good job man. It only gets better when everyone mentions it. Its been over a year since I lost 60 pounds and people still ask me how I lost all the weight. Keep it up.

On the flipside, I weighed myself today. I gained about 10 lbs in muscle mass and I have still managed to cut fat. Especially around my abs. Feels good man

[Mupepe]

Oh and im also up to 63 pushups in 3 sets. When I started I was only able to do about 25. That was about two weeks ago? 

And I'm up to 144 situps in 3 sets. When I started it was like 35. Sad.

My goal is 300 situps and 90 pushups.

[Cormacaroni]

Mups - are you ready to start deadlifting yet? I'm thinking maybe yes.

Try removing one day's worth of bench and do a couple sets of 5 deadlifts, just working up to a weight you can manage while still keeping a straight back. I guarantee this will do more for you than the day of bench.

[Mupepe]

Gs: ill move my goal up. Just thats my current. I want to see how fast I can get there.

Cormac: should I start with just the bar?  That's how I started with squat.

[Cormacaroni]

Yeah, although you kind of need something to get it up to the right height. If your gym has any wooden plates, this would be the time to use them. Failing that, just put it on the supports in a squat cage.

Once you do them, you will never need to ask *why* you need to do them.

[Flannel Boy]

I've gained 15 pounds in the last three weeks.

Woot?

[BlueTsunami]

Getting some money my way. Putting $100 of it into footwear. I'm thinking of either getting a pair of Nike Free's or Vibram Five Fingers. If neither of those, some traditional running sneakers. I think I'm really going to hit some crossfit regimen and stick with it (instead of purely running). The Vibrams look very interesting in that regard.

[Cormacaroni]

Getting some money my way. Putting $100 of it into footwear. I'm thinking of either getting a pair of Nike Free's or Vibram Five Fingers. If neither of those, some traditional running sneakers. I think I'm really going to hit some crossfit regimen and stick with it (instead of purely running). The Vibrams look very interesting in that regard.

Not many Crossfitters actually do their workouts in Vibrams, I think. Many people wear them for running or recreational sports/outdoor stuff but there's no real benefit to wearing them indoors while lifting weights or doing sit-ups or whatever.  I have 4 different kinds of footwear at my desk at work that I can take to the gym depending on what I'm doing, but to be honest, for most stuff you can just go barefoot if your gym will let you.

[duckman2000]

I think you can safely throw a few plates on the bar for the first deadlifts, seems like it would be almost too light to get started with just the bar. Whatever works, though.

Cormac, how do those vibram things work anyway? The toes are individual, I get that, but it seems like a real tight mold would limit it to a very narrow foot and toe shape. Is the material very flexible? I'd imagine those would be great if I picked up free running again.

[BlueTsunami]

Getting some money my way. Putting $100 of it into footwear. I'm thinking of either getting a pair of Nike Free's or Vibram Five Fingers. If neither of those, some traditional running sneakers. I think I'm really going to hit some crossfit regimen and stick with it (instead of purely running). The Vibrams look very interesting in that regard.

Not many Crossfitters actually do their workouts in Vibrams, I think. Many people wear them for running or recreational sports/outdoor stuff but there's no real benefit to wearing them indoors while lifting weights or doing sit-ups or whatever.  I have 4 different kinds of footwear at my desk at work that I can take to the gym depending on what I'm doing, but to be honest, for most stuff you can just go barefoot if your gym will let you.

Yeah, I can see them not adding anything to stationary workouts in the gym. I do have one thing in mind though and it involves mainly running stairs and mixing in calisthenics and other days doing burpees. I would like to use the Nike Free for this but I've been told that they don't really hold up well to lots of lateral movement (will jack the seaming up since they're good for only forward motion).

Cormac, how do those vibram things work anyway? The toes are individual, I get that, but it seems like a real tight mold would limit it to a very narrow foot and toe shape. Is the material very flexible? I'd imagine those would be great if I picked up free running again.

Cormac could probably give a better opinion on them but from what I've read and seen, they look to allow near barefooted movement (along with the benefits and dangers). They mainly just protect the soles of your feet with tough flexible material.

[duckman2000]

It just occurred to me that I've only been doing deads for like 6 months. I guess people weren't so full of shit when they said that the weight, and the strength to pull it off, would increase rapidly.

[brawndolicious]

I only ask because some cat in the GAF fitness thread was talking about counting calories, and he was saying stuff like, for the week he'd be at 2,000 a day if you offset what he ate with what he burned off doing cardio, and I was like bro, you are eating in excess of your maintenance level by like... hundreds of calories.

Anyway you should eat more than 1500 calories a day and also eat more fat.

The average person would need a little under 2,000 Calories a day just to satisfy their basal metabolic rate, or else their body would not be getting enough energy to do basic processes and would start storing fat.  If the guy is actually doing an hour a day or something on an elliptical machine, then he would actually need probably around 3,000 calories to stay fit.  In fact, if he burns around 2,000 Calories  (which is only really only a threat during marathons) then he would get to "the wall" where his body has no more glycogen left and if he has enough endurance/training, then his body would start burning the fat directly.

But it's safe to say that you should eat more than 2,000 calories on days that you do a decent amount of cardio.