Mandark - I don't think that's too much difference in what you said and when I spoke about folks being "subconsciously" racist and/or sexist. There are a ton of white folks that parade themselves as not racist ("I have a black friend!"), but they're the same folks who auto-lock their car when a black person walks by (I saw my mother do this once).
The other thing is that I think your view is a tad tainted by geography. Going to some backwater regions of this grand country has opened my eyes to a lot of ignorance. Hell, when my father took us on a family vacation that went through some parts of the eastern shore and mountainous part of Virginia (and West Virginia), we got stares because he and my stepmom are an interracial couple.
This was just four years ago.
I really do not think America has changed enough to welcome either Democratic candidate. Obama is the best bet, because with that "open-minded" middle of the road white voter, he could potentially win them over depending on how he runs his campaign. But like you said, he'd have to try real hard to tip toe that line.