Boris will be out by the summer
A senior government official said:
"The hounds are on the bridge ready to maul the flesh from his bones after Gove shoots him in the legs. What's left will be for Larry to eat if he doesn't get a knife in his back from Theresa first or we hang him for treason."
"Are you saying the Prime Minister is in danger? Are these serious allegations?"
"Of course not my boy, we're just having another TORY LEADERSHIP CONTEST besides he will probably drink himself to death before we can fire the first shot"
"Isn't that dangerous, couldn't you lose the elections to Labour?"
"Those racist jew hating commie bastards won't make it past lunch after we've put their heads on pikes for her Majesty the Queen - we'll ship their bodies back to Beijing"
"Are you saying there will be arrests and killings?"
"No, no.. no we'll just have a go at the ballot box, I hear Dungbury is ready to come home after 400 years"