Reviews #1 to 9 here.10.
The Last House on the Left (1972)spoiler (click to show/hide)
Up front, I'll say I hated this movie. Its one saving grace is Wes Craven's direction, as even though this is his first film his attention to detail and sharp use of camera angles and editing are top-notch.
Everything else about this movie is garbage. Garbage can still be entertaining, but this movie mostly just pissed me off. The completely out of place, blaring music is what sticks in my mind the most, but the absolutely awful acting doesn't help either. The characters are all caricatures, and while I think it was a neat idea to kill the main two characters early a la Psycho and have the rest of the movie be about the parents' revenge fantasy, it's all too convenient. The script is trash on top of all this.
Finally, and worst of all, the movie almost seems to take perverse glee in showing all the worst things that happen to these poor girls. The gore here isn't exactly tame, but this movie is far more deserving of the "torture porn" title than Saw ever was. It felt like the movie was jacking off while showing its worst parts, and that's what's truly sickening. Irréversible was nauseating, but it was at least handled with care and was joyless to the core. Here, there's joy but it's entirely misplaced.
1 / 5
11.
The Last House on the Left (2009)spoiler (click to show/hide)
Wow, this might be the most-improved remake of any movie I've ever seen. It takes the same basic premise (four criminals fuck up two girls and then the parents of one of the girls get their revenge) but not only is it handled in an appropriately dark and tense way, the remake makes a divergence from the original that not only changes the dynamics of the movie but improves on the contrived plot of the original. That change being of course that one of the girls lives and makes it back to her parents' house, instead of the parents just happening upon her body and figuring everything out all of a sudeen.
There's further smarter changes too. While the group of four criminals is basically the same (the mean leader, the crazy guy, the psycho chick, and the simpleton), they're all more rounded and far, far better acted. The change with the "simpleton" in particular is great.
Possibly the largest improvement on the original in this movie is how it treats the rape scene. It's hard to watch in both movies, but here you don't get the sense the movie is giggling behind the scenes about it. After the scene concludes here, the movie gives everything some time to breath which is to the audience's great benefit. It isn't like it just happens and the movie moves right to the next thing without even thinking about it. In this movie, you get a much better sense of the gravity of what just happened.
The cinematography is actually really beautiful at times, and more importantly the movie is very well-acted. I really felt bad for the parents in particular as they just come off as so believable and kind-hearted. This entire movie was very effective. The only complaints I have is that there isn't any memorable music, and it's not very scary. But those are pretty minor points all things considered.
Also, Jesse Pinkman gets the shit beat out of him in this movie and it's awesome.
4 / 5
12.
House on Haunted Hill (1959)spoiler (click to show/hide)
Now this is what I call classic horror. I'll admit that the remake is actually a favorite of mine, and it was interesting to see where certain plot points of that movie came from. With that said, I thoroughly enjoyed the original. The music is stock "creepy" but considering the time period, I don't fault it for that and it honestly adds to the charm. The acting is all much better than I would have thought, and the movie's plot feels fresh and unconventional.
This movie is more mystery than horror, and while that works in its favor I also feel like it contributes to its only low point. After being hyped from the start as a haunted house movie, to see that give way to routine fakeouts and human explanations was disappointing. I would more easily accept that if the movie had no supernatural elements at all, but that isn't true either. It teases the supernatural through various "gags" and it never does anything with them.
Even still, this is a great representation of 50's horror and a sterling showcase for Vincent Price.
4 / 5
13.
Shaun of the Dead (yearly rewatch)
spoiler (click to show/hide)
Perfect in every way.
5 / 5
14.
Prince of Darknessspoiler (click to show/hide)
All in all, a pretty weak effort I think. The characters were bland and didn't act in ways that made logical sense, and the writing and acting were pretty bad. No real good special effects either, like The Thing had in spades. Probably my least favorite of Carpenter's "Apocalypse Trilogy." There were a couple of neat, tense scenes, though the movie on the whole wasn't scary.
But hey, at least it has a funky score and Donald Pleasence.
2 / 5
15.
Home Moviespoiler (click to show/hide)
Truly disturbing. This is a found footage horror movie (I'm a sucker for them) that gives us a glimpse into the life of a family who just moved to the woods in upstate New York. However, the evil in the movie doesn't come from the setting... it comes from within.
In general, I thought this movie was very effective. The ramp up to "something happening" was 100% on-point for me personally, which means most other people will probably think it's too slow. Lots of little bits are doled out methodically and realistically.
This was a very well-acted movie, too, with some good plot-based motivation for things happening on-camera. Big props for that. The finale was very gripping. Overall, the movie doesn't hit my "scare spot" though, but at times the tension is enough to compensate.
All in all, a great hidden gem. Give it a watch if you can find it online (I searched, and it's only available on DVD or Hulu Plus.)
4 / 5
16.
Fright Night (1985)spoiler (click to show/hide)
Were the 80's great for horror, or what? I really dug a lot about this movie. First up was the score by Brad Fiedel, known most famously for the scores to The Terminator and Terminator 2: Judgment Day. Unlike with some of Argento's or Carpenter's flicks, I thought it was used well here and didn't feel overdone. Plus, the music really kicked ass.
The plot moves at a good pace and plays with genre conventions well, while also giving reverence to the horror classics of the past. On top of this, the acting was good (though I couldn't divorce Amanda Bearse from her roll in Married with Children as Marcy) and the practical effects later on were almost as mindblowing as The Thing's.
A solid, fun and inventive movie that's tailor made for the Halloween season.
4 / 5
17.
Fright Night (2011)spoiler (click to show/hide)
Wow, this year has been great for remakes I've seen. All the little changes are improvements on the original, I feel (except for the music, which is still good but not Fiedel-level.)
David Tennant makes a fantastic Peter Vincent and I was really glad that he actually did believe in vampires. Also, one thing I'm always a HUGE fan of is when movies actually do the opposite of "haha the parents don't believe the kids!" It's always super annoying, and I liked that they went in a different direction here. Because of that, the movie amps up pretty much before the halfway point of the movie and it just keeps going and going from there. I also liked the update to Evil Ed (AKA, "Ed McLovin," lol.) He's far less annoying and kickstarts the plot in a fresh way.
Finally, Colin Farrell was far more imposing and ferocious as Jerry than Chris Sarandon. I like Sarandon's portrayal as the smug playboy-type, but I didn't feel like he really posed a threat. When he offered Charlie a truce in the original I was actually hoping he'd take it, since they both seemed like such reasonable people. But here, there's no sympathy. Farrell's a stone-cold bastard from the word "go" and it works for the plot much better.
Great movie and a tremendous remake, but I shouldn't have expected anything less from writer Marti Noxon (of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel fame.)
5 / 5
18.
The Ninth Gatespoiler (click to show/hide)
This was a superb movie. Roman Polanski is a hot button topic I'll stay well clear of, but his writing and directing here is top notch. The movie keeps a steady cadence of tension and mystery throughout the film, and this honestly might be my favorite role by Johnny Depp.
The one downside, and it got progressively worse as the movie went on, was the music. Most of the time it feels lifted from a Home Alone flick and really took my out of things at points. And also, I can tell the ending would leave something to be desired for some people. Me, I was fine with it, mostly cause I knew the movie couldn't ever really cash the check it was writing. But seeing it write the check was quite the spectacle.
3 / 5
19.
Dead Silencespoiler (click to show/hide)
This movie, while very messy (the writer apparently
went through hell trying to come up with the actual story and dealing with execs' requests), still has a lot of charm and some good points, too. The first thing that stands out right from the opening credits is the music. It's pulse-pounding, rocking yet melodious, and sets the stage for a cheesy but eerie flick - and that's exactly what
Dead Silence is.
To be fair, I didn't really care a lot about anything happening in this movie, not the plot nor the characters. Things play out in a forced and arbitrary manner. And while it's creepy and tense, it's not scary. But I dig the direction by James Wong (
Saw, Insidious, The Conjuring) and the cinematography so much I almost overlook them. The movie also has an absolutely fantastic "silencing" effect for certain scenes, and it's so unsettling I almost want to see a movie made just based around
that.This is actually a movie I wanted to see in theaters back in 2007 just on the concept and trailer. It just looks so good. The fog, the gothic imagery, the idea of killer ventriloquist dummies that hit me right in my R.L. Stein sweet spot... it all seemed so good.
And that stuff
is good here. But that's about all that is. If you know what you're getting into, there's worse ways to spend an hour and a half.
2 / 5
12 more to go.