RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011

[Huff]

Altra have you thought about not dating children?

[Rahxephon91]

Didn't the last relationship die quickly because the girl didn't relate to where you are in life?

Why would you want to repeat that? You don't strike me as someone who just wants to fuck around so why even attempt to date girls who seem to not be on your level?

[Atramental]

Altra have you thought about not dating children?

No one my age wants to date me

[toku]

you know what you have to do

[Madrun Badrun]

invent the time machine

[Atramental]

Eh, whatever. Forget those two.

I'm chatting with a 22 y/o nursing student now:

[TakingBackSunday]

It’s a miracle you ever got your dick wet

[Atramental]

Shut up pretty boy.

[Atramental]

I mix it up.

Those first two girls I didn't say their name.

edit: I really should just stop and do something else with my time. This is fucking terrible for my mental health.

[Phoenix Dark]

Pics

This is actually here most recent pic. She got rid of the bangs but she's still cute as fuck.
(Image removed from quote.)

Update: Matched with another one last night when I was out with friends.

(Image removed from quote.)

I guess I'll hit them both up on Snapchat? I don't like Tinder's chat but I'm not a fan of Snapchat either.   

Can't think of anything to say...

edit: Jasmine just accepted my request on Snap.

do anything in your power to see that 19yo

[Mupepe]

PD on point as usual. Dem lips

[Atramental]

She read my message on Snap, ignored it, and proceeded to post a video on snap lip syncing to some song an hour later.

Fuck her.

[brawndolicious]

She read my message on Snap, ignored it, and proceeded to post a video on snap lip syncing to some song an hour later.

Fuck her.

 

I feel like you really, really wanna be a man-slut but since you've never done it before, you don't realize there ain't no rules to that shit.

Fact of the matter is people give you the least ego-boosting when you're the most fuckable. Being desperate and whiny would not be considered fuckable. It's a negative feedback loop but you just don't develop the momentum to get to the end of that without "work shopping" and luck. You really have to boost your confidence stats dude.

[Huff]

Just stop caring so much about each one

[thisismyusername]

"So what's stopping you and I from kicking it this afternoon?"

 

Send it. Stop with this work shopping business and start by diving in each time. Besides, some women like forward

Fuck, I wish I could find that Facebook video I saw yesterday about this. "I like being forward." (Women talking to a man. "hey, you're cute." "Are you hitting on me?" "Yeah." "Why don't we go out for lunch sometime in the future?" "Sure. Give me your number." was part of it)

I mean, what do you do with a 19 year old for date

She smokes weed judging from one of her pics so... buy drinks for her and smoke & drink at her or my place? 

Fucking USA and its 21 drinking age...

No.



20-21 should be your limit. You're like 26-27 years old at this point, stop hitting on 19 and under.

Altra have you thought about not dating children?

No one my age wants to date me

Keep trying on that.

edit: I really should just stop and do something else with my time. This is fucking terrible for my mental health.

See the above Stop sign.gif

You're doing fine. It's a numbers game, like applying for jobs. In fact, I really gotta do that shit but my own mental health is cock blocking me on that front to where I haven't even bothered with Tindr/Grindr/et. al in addition to jobs. So you're already doing fucking better than some of us.

Stop calling people by their name and saying hi/hello/hey to them, that's the type of formality a doctor gives before they check your prostate.

I use "hey, how's it going?" on Tindr. To be fair though: None of these bitches message me back, match or not. So fuck them. I don't think saying "hey," is the problem. They're just being bitches.

Plus Boy Toy wants me to go back to New York to see him, so fuck them if they don't want to fool around with me.

[Phoenix Dark]

Just stop caring so much about each one

Just play the game, man. That's all this is. No feelings, just go along until you reach whatever end you want. And if you don't get there because it ended abruptly, well who cares - there's always another game to play.

[Rahxephon91]

At least your matching with actual attractive women(is it because your white?) and not uggos like me.

[Atramental]

Just lie and say you're Sicilian.

spoiler (click to show/hide)

 

[close]

[Atramental]

Fuck, I wish I could find that Facebook video I saw yesterday about this. "I like being forward." (Women talking to a man. "hey, you're cute." "Are you hitting on me?" "Yeah." "Why don't we go out for lunch sometime in the future?" "Sure. Give me your number." was part of it)

That only works if you're a stud on these dating sites/apps or super confident & somewhat attractive in real life. Being too forward comes off as super aggressive and fuckboyish because that's what EVERY fuckboy is doing. Also, for every 1 woman there's 10 to 20 men trying to get into her pants on these sites. It's just sensory overload at a certain point and all women can do is just shut down the super pushy guys.

But you're gay and haven't really spent most of your adult life trying to attract women so I'll give you a break.

No one my age wants to date me

(Image removed from quote.)

Keep trying on that.

You think I'm lying but I'm not.

A good chunk of women at 27 already have kids or want to settle down soon and have kids. (most men don't really have that innate drive like women do. Their biological clock is ticking pretty hard when their 30s is right on the fucking horizon.)

They're looking for a provider. Me at 27 making a little bit over $30K a year with my graphic design job doesn't look good to these 27+ women who are actually attractive and have their shit reasonably together.

Now, with these 19 to 23 year olds, I look like I'm made out of money. All the guys their age are working at fucking McDonalds/in college/living off of their parents/etc.

edit: When I'm 35 that's probably when I'll start attracting more 27+ year olds.

edit: Also, with tinder gold I see that I have 30+ y/o's liking me but they're all morbidly obese and seem desperate as hell to find some kind of provider.

edit: And maybe another reason why I'm not successful at tinder is because I'm treating it like I'm going to find my long term gf on here. Maybe I should be using match.com instead.

[Rahxephon91]

Well I don't know if I completly agree with what Atra said, as it seems to me plenty of women of either age or either with kids or not. There isn't exactly a clear line.

But I agree with as a 27 year old it seems impossible to feel assured with women my age. I'm not experinced and I'm not established. I'm sure that's an extreme turn off. But also when will I be able to be exerpinced? I guess I have to wait until I'm 24? 40? Oh boy by then I feel even more bitter about how I wasted my prime years.

Though anyone under 21 doesn't appeal to me. I mean I like to drink and do other adult stuff. Teenagers are super annoying.

Either way tinder doesn't do shit for me. All I do is match with obese girls and 35+ year old people.

[Atramental]

Also, this bad luck with dating is even making me rethink my whole career path.

I should've become a product designer or something else that people actually value. No one, who is worth working for, really gives a fuck about graphic design. They just need someone to meet the bottom line and make more money with good salesmanship or raw engineering prowess

I should've done what my sister did and became an engineer. Fuck.

She's already going to make $40K this year with her internship and $60K once she's done being an intern.

I've been working 3 years for basically nothing  and then 1 year for 25K and these last two years for about 30K

And I'm actually one of the lucky ones. Most people I graduated with aren't doing design at all. They're delivering pizzas and doing little side jobs here and there

[thisismyusername]

That only works if you're a stud on these dating sites/apps or super confident & somewhat attractive in real life. Being too forward comes off as super aggressive and fuckboyish because that's what EVERY fuckboy is doing. Also, for every 1 woman there's 10 to 20 men trying to get into her pants on these sites. It's just sensory overload at a certain point and all women can do is just shut down the super pushy guys.

There's a difference between "aggressive" and "direct." Saying "hey, I think you're pretty cute. Do you want to get lunch with me sometime?" is not aggressive.

You think I'm lying but I'm not.

A good chunk of women at 27 already have kids or want to settle down soon and have kids. (most men don't really have that innate drive like women do. Their biological clock is ticking pretty hard when their 30s is right on the fucking horizon.)

They're looking for a provider. Me at 27 making a little bit over $30K a year with my graphic design job doesn't look good to these 27+ women who are actually attractive and have their shit reasonably together.

And you think all 27-year old women have their shit together? I'm ignoring the "attractive" bit purposely, because I know you'll focus on that instead of the later bit.

Edit: Let me put it this way: You're comparing yourself by how much you make. This is where you're stumbling, IMO. There are bartenders out there that are attractive and within your age-range. They make (IIRC) around what you do. Retail is a bit below you. Not every 27-year-old girl that you think is attractive "has their shit together" (read: makes more than you).

In fact, if "how much you make" is a factor in straight relationships: Humanity is doomed. You're able to raise a kid on 30K. Well, used to be anyway. I dunno if inflation and all that has completely fucked it over, but it's possible for you to raise a kid (if you want that) with your salary, especially in the age where women are going into the workforce and not being "stay-at-home moms." You're selling yourself short because of your career when that should never (IMO) be a factor for anyone in terms of attraction.

edit: And maybe another reason why I'm not successful at tinder is because I'm treating it like I'm going to find my long term gf on here. Maybe I should be using match.com instead.

Tindr in general seems to be "I think you're attractive" and nothing else. If you're wanting an actual relationship-relationship? Yeah, Match.com and a few other non-hook-up apps may be a better fishing spot.

[Huff]

Don't assume everyone on any site/app has a specific motivation just from being on said site

Just take it a date at a time and enjoy the process.

[Rahxephon91]

Um I think careers and how much you make are a pretty big deal in straight relationships, espically for dudes.

[Atramental]

It's a huge deal. Especially in a hyper capitalist country like America.

Everyone here was implicitly and explicitly sold this idea that if you're not AT LEAST making 40K in your mid 20s you're a fucking loser that doesn't deserve to breed.

It's part of the reason why there's so many angry young men floating around. These "nazis" at these right wing rallys are some of those men.

I am friends with guys who are turning into alt-righters because the "left" in this country has basically told them to fuck off . The left in the US should've never gotten so caught up in identity politics. They should've focused on economic justice before social justice. There can be no real social justice without economic justice. People need to be able to easily provide for themselves and their families ABOVE ALL ELSE.

[Mupepe]

Nah that's a cop out. Those angry man children have a lot more wrong with them than simply being economically depressed. Looking at dating as some sort of stat building like an rpg (i need to level up my income!) is also pretty unhealthy and is a reflection of some sort of binary view of the world that doesn't exist.

[Bebpo]

Depends on the person, for a lot of people it's not how much you make but what you do and how passionate you are about it (because being passionate about something is hot and makes a potential partner image you having that passion for them).

Fwiw, I've never had any date or even gf ask me what I make. I think my ex-fiancé knew at some point because we had shared finances, but that's about it.

[Atramental]

It might not be reality with a capital R but it's definitely a reality to some. Especially those who hang out in toxic online communities like /pol/ and the like.

edit: Lawyer, Engineer, Doctor are "safe bets". Most people assume you're making some decent dosh with those careers.

[Mupepe]

Nah that's a cop out. Those angry man children have a lot more wrong with them than simply being economically depressed. Looking at dating as some sort of stat building like an rpg (i need to level up my income!) is also pretty unhealthy and is a reflection of some sort of binary view of the world that doesn't exist.

I've had a few beers so...

Your crowd sourcing of responses to women is also a reflection of this. You seem to be looking for those perfect things to say but they don't exist. Say what you want to say. The perfect thing for one woman is not the perfect thing for another. You can work that way to pick up women but it's a handicap in the long run of being comfortable with who you are and attracting women with your personality.

[tiesto]

Well I don't know if I completly agree with what Atra said, as it seems to me plenty of women of either age or either with kids or not. There isn't exactly a clear line.

But I agree with as a 27 year old it seems impossible to feel assured with women my age. I'm not experinced and I'm not established. I'm sure that's an extreme turn off. But also when will I be able to be exerpinced? I guess I have to wait until I'm 24? 40? Oh boy by then I feel even more bitter about how I wasted my prime years.

Though anyone under 21 doesn't appeal to me. I mean I like to drink and do other adult stuff. Teenagers are super annoying.

Either way tinder doesn't do shit for me. All I do is match with obese girls and 35+ year old people.

It's weird, I find dating quite a bit harder in my 30's than I did in my 20's. Well, I still sucked at dating then but I was going out with 2-3 girls a week, I remember there were a couple of weeks when I went on 5 dates. Now I'm lucky to go out on 1-2 dates a month. I'll admit, when I jumped back into dating after I broke up with my ex, I thought "now that I'm in my 30's and going for women in their 30's, it'll be a lot easier... their biological clock is ticking and their friends are all getting married"... but nope, it's been much tougher for me. It could be because these women are more stuck in their ways, or their standards are far too high, or they're just too damn busy to date.

Anyways, I got an email from a cute, slightly thicc Latina who lives one town over, she's 30 and a scientist with a PhD... she messaged me asking about dance music, she likes J00F and Guy J. Nice to FINALLY talk to someone on there who likes music other than country or Billy Joel 

And I also got an email from a 36yo Japanese teacher from Manhattan. Maybe she will want to be mai waifu?

[Bebpo]

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[Rahxephon91]

Look at it this way Atra, you have more time and money that you're not wasting on a gf. So you have a lot more freedom then you would if you were in a relationship. And if you just drop shit like tinder and whatnot you don't have to keep stressing about the games you have to play with women. Plus you can have free money to just go out and buy an escort and have sex with a woman for beyond whatever you could get. I took part of my paycheck and plumbing money this week and was able to have some fun instead of constantly swiping and getting nowhere except further dumped on.

Plus I guess if you ever want to return to the dating world and shit, you'll probably be better off.

[Atramental]

For my sake and the sake of everyone else's sanity in this thread I'm officially taking a break.

I'm going to focus on my portfolio and personal projects since I get more joy out of that than anything else really.

[Mupepe]

ILU Atra.

[toku]

For my sake and the sake of everyone else's sanity in this thread I'm officially taking a break.

I'm going to focus on my portfolio and personal projects since I get more joy out of that than anything else really.

[Rahxephon91]

But Vann gets Hitomi

[Rahxephon91]

--
 Rhax I saw your ass complaining about how you're not good looking or whatever, but I saw a pic in the Post Your Pics thread and you look fine.

If that was true I'd probably have attracted a girl by now. Or rather I'd get Tinder matches. Or maybe I'd not get Tinder Matches from women I don't find attractive.

Since these things don't happen, logically I must not be attractive to women.

Now maybe none of this makes since, but that's how my brain thinks.

Either way, I don't know to get past that problem among many.

I don't know how to find confidence, because I don't logically have a reason to have any.

I don't actually hate women. I hate my own self and I guess have just thrown up my arms at ever attracting them, because it seems simply impossible to do and while I'm not old I do feel very bitter at being so behind and unsuccessful. It's kind of hard to not fee like a loser yknow?

[Valkyrie]

Doesn't help being attractive when you're a shallow woman hater.

[Huff]

Just move to the midwest

may or may not be having quite a bit of success

[Atramental]

It's probably because those girls see you as their ticket out of the midwest. 

[nachobro]

They are still his ticket into some ass so who cares

[seagrams hotsauce]

It's probably because those girls see you as their ticket out of the midwest. 

I know this is a minor comment but combined with the salary hand wringing, it paints a very unflattering picture about the way you seem to think about money and how it relates to women

[Atramental]

Life in a neoliberal capitalist society is pretty unflattering.

[seagrams hotsauce]

 

[Mupepe]

yeah.  it's ridiculously awesome!!!!111!

[Atramental]

My gripes are more about finding a suitable SO at this point than finding someone to hit it and quit it with.

But Wrath is right about me. I'm not happy at all with where I am in my life. Specifically with my job. I've been super angry lately with all the bullshit that keeps on happening there. There have been days where I just wanted to quit right on the spot over some minor shit.

[toku]

My gripes are more about finding a suitable SO at this point than finding someone to hit it and quit it with.

But Wrath is right about me. I'm not happy at all with where I am in my life. Specifically with my job. I've been super angry lately with all the bullshit that keeps on happening there. There have been days where I just wanted to quit right on the spot over some minor shit.

yeah it sucks, and you should be open (receptive to whatever) but at this point i'd start dump more of this energy into something else. Maybe even something you actually enjoy the doing of (not concerned with an end goal). Feed your soul a bit.

[Rahxephon91]

Doesn't help being attractive when you're a shallow woman hater.

Well I doubt anyone here is intersted in people they don't find attractive so I'm not sure how I'm shallow.
And eh maybe some light msygoniy. 

[Phoenix Dark]

You work too much for a SO. Which is why your goal should be to....keep working, get to a point where you can work less (better job), but in the meantime find someone to lay your dick in every now and then so you don't go insane. Meeting a potential SO would be the worst thing you could do now, since you'd no doubt lose her due to inexperience, awkwardness, working too much, etc.

Just have fun. You care too much man. A lot of people in this thread do. Take the feelings out, as much as you can, and just focus on what you want now with no concern for long term anything. And then when you have the TIME and experience to search for what you want (a real relationship/SO), go for it. But until then it's all about you.

[Tasty]

username's teardowns of various peeps ITT sustain me

[toku]

just trying to live 2017

[Atramental]

I was literally minutes away from deleting the app and I matched with this girl:
http://i.imgur.com/arPaTxP.jpg?1

fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck 

also, pro tip: showing your teeth (if you have good teeth) helps immensely. 

[Bebpo]

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[Atramental]

I was literally minutes away from deleting the app and I matched with this girl:
http://i.imgur.com/arPaTxP.jpg?1

fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck 

also, pro tip: showing your teeth (if you have good teeth) helps immensely. 

*praying to whatever god that will listen that this works out*

spoiler (click to show/hide)

Also, greeting anyone by their name is some weird psychological trick that seems to generate more responses for me. That's why I do it.

[close]

[Valkyrie]

Oh gosh you might be right about the name thing. I really like that, in small doses.

[Huff]

Planning a pretty last minute trip out of town this weekend to go watch the Michigan/UF game. Wonder if it's too early to invite the girl I've only been talking to for a couple weeks and hungout with twice

[Mupepe]

Hey Katy. I like eating ass. Is yours clean?

Gold, Jerry!

[Atramental]

She's loling a lot. That's usually a good sign.

And I can tell she's getting giddy off of my compliments about her tats by how quickly she responds.

When I was snooping through her Instagram I saw a post of her commenting about her body and about her low self esteem. So... that's something to keep in mind for later use.

[CatsCatsCats]

Aaaaand ya lost me again

[Joe Molotov]

tell her she shure does have a purdy mouf