Corona Thread |OT| Nu variant, who dis?

[shosta]

watchin this kid (who makes six figures) "work from home" - he's in my bed playing Breath of the Wild at 1PM

[OnlyRegret]

so apparently 15 days of social distancing and normal shit is now the plan 

https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1242539178786725891

[Ghoul]

watchin this kid (who makes six figures) "work from home" - he's in my bed playing Breath of the Wild at 1PM

Could you do his job? You could always kill him and then prop him up on video calls, think weekend at shosta's! Just make sure you can access the money first.

[OnlyRegret]

watchin this kid (who makes six figures) "work from home" - he's in my bed playing Breath of the Wild at 1PM

sound like poor social distancing to invite guys to your bed but w/e

[Madrun Badrun]

It's manifest destiny that Canada expands through the empty lands to the gulf of Mexico. 

[shosta]

Could you do his job? You could always kill him and then prop him up on video calls, think weekend at shosta's! Just make sure you can access the money first.

we actually discussed this before where I considered doing his interview and getting hired as him for a Qualcomm job QA testing compilers (easy)... did not follow through, but tantalizing

[OnlyRegret]

checking the #s, how many days till usa surpasses italy in case count

+8666 for the day and still a bunch of day to go

[shosta]

sound like poor social distancing to invite guys to your bed but w/e

I'm sleeping on the couch cuz I thought he'd be busy with his fancy ass bezos job.

[shosta]

checking the #s, how many days till usa surpasses italy in case count

+8666 for the day and still a bunch of day to go

Don't know about Italy but I wrote this on Sunday just multiplying by 1.33:
SUN 3/22 - 27,465
MON 3/23 - 36,621
TUES 3/24 - 48,827
WED 3/25 - 65,086
THUR 3/26 - 86,760
FRI 3/27 - 116K
SAT 3/28 - 154K
SUN 3/29 - 206K
MON 3/30 - 274K
TUES 3/31 - 366K
WED 4/1 - 487K
THUR 4/2 - 650K
FRI 4/3 - 866K
SAT 4/4 - 1.155M

We hit 49k today so it's still holding up

[OnlyRegret]

+8,916 now a few minutes later for total 52,650
 

+9,144 now

[OnlyRegret]

33% increase too small for american excellence

[Propagandhim]

Terrence McNally dead from 'rona.     

[VomKriege]

checking the #s, how many days till usa surpasses italy in case count

+8666 for the day and still a bunch of day to go

I'm sure someone crunched the actual numbers but I think it's something like 3 days to a week ?

[shosta]

33% increase too small for american excellence

For 40% growth rate, which I think is too big:

[Nuitangg]

Gov. of Texas just announced 11k tested so far.  Is this good or bad?

[Madrun Badrun]

Gov. of Texas just announced 11k tested so far.  Is this good or bad?

Ontario, with half the population, has done 32457 and that isn't that good.

[team filler]

don't mess test with texas 

[james]

+8,916 now a few minutes later for total 52,650
 

+9,144 now

This is as fun as watching the stonk market!

[CatsCatsCats]

Okay, here’s my considerably less ballsy email I’m going to send tomorrow.

“Please consider today a day of absence for me. Though I know management disagrees with me at this time, I urge  reconsideration for a temporary shutdown for the health and safety of <>’s employees and their communities. “

🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

[CatsCatsCats]

*sigh* I need to get a grip

[VomKriege]

That's a good thing you did.

[OnlyRegret]

more on asymptotic spread

https://www.newscientist.com/article/2238473-you-could-be-spreading-the-coronavirus-without-realising-youve-got-it/

[CatsCatsCats]

Hope it puts me first in line for lay offs so I can get some super neet bux lol

[VomKriege]

The continuation of the adventures of Dr.Raoult, the French Wank Dad GOAT infection guy promoting hydrochloroquin :

He has a book out (yesterday or today). Also resigned from the scientific council advising the French government.

There's apparently an EU wide test ongoing with a sample of 3200 for testing it.

[OnlyRegret]

trump hired him didn't he

[Nintex]

+8,916 now a few minutes later for total 52,650
 

+9,144 now

This is as fun as watching the stonk market!

Who will crack 30k first 

[TakingBackSunday]

this is a fucking embarrassment

[Nintex]

Our government is signaling heavily that regulations will be eased after April 6th. Looks like some countries have given the boomers a 2 week headstart at best.

[nachobro]

Welp. The person who I think originally got me sick tested positive.

spoiler (click to show/hide)

[close]

[stufte]

 

[EightBitNate]

Positive’s the good one right

[VomKriege]

Esch : You almost had two weeks of shit symptoms, you're probably closer to the end of your ordeal than the beginning. Hang in there.

trump hired him didn't he

I didn't even think of that. He resigned over the testing strategy and also probably on account of his, AFAIK, open feuds with some other French mandarins. He has a cushy position in a Marseilles big hospital and that's a long term meal ticket, even if not the best paying one, where he has relatively free reign.

I wouldn't be surprised he had some contacts with Trump people (among others) via mail or phone tho.

[thisismyusername]

Welp. The person who I think originally got me sick tested positive.

Congrats on the sex.

[CatsCatsCats]

Esch

Hope you recover and get all the neet bucks

[ToxicAdam]

Governor Dewine said they project the peak to be in the first week of May for Ohio. That’s a lot longer than I expected. :/

[Nintex]

Governor Dewine said they project the peak to be in the first week of May for Ohio. That’s a lot longer than I expected. :/

It's a good thing everything is open for business by then you don't want to miss the peak.

[team filler]

 

[Great Rumbler]

Oklahoma's governor has finally started shutting some things down and telling people to stay home, at least until April 21st.

[VomKriege]

More cases of clusters / suspicious deaths found into French retirement homes. Maybe 40 deaths and a couple of hundred cases (including staff) over three institutions. I think we're in the running to give the 2003 heat wave and its estimated 15000 deaths a run for its money.
 

Edit : 16 deaths in a nursing home that started curtailing visits on March 5 and tried to be proactive.

[Great Rumbler]

[bluemax]

My roommate's employer told them all they've been exposed to someone who has Corona, then walked it back and said it wasn't like they originally said, and then came back this morning and said no, they've probably all been exposed. Which means I've probably been exposed.

So press F to pay your respects.

[Occam]

Welp. The person who I think originally got me sick tested positive.

spoiler (click to show/hide)

[close]

Wish you a speedy recovery.
So who was the first one here to get it?

What happened to our own "Joe Biden"?

[Nintex]

Welp. The person who I think originally got me sick tested positive.

spoiler (click to show/hide)

[close]

Wish you a speedy recovery.
So who was the first one here to get it?

What happened to our own "Joe Biden"?

He's staying in character

[bluemax]

https://twitter.com/pardesseleh/status/1242197595583328258

[Nintex]

https://twitter.com/PodSaveAmerica/status/1242578428848562177
It's the most beautiful timeline. 

[VomKriege]

https://www.reddit.com/r/Coronavirus/comments/focmef/kentucky_mayor_listen_up_dipshits/

[Occam]

https://twitter.com/pardesseleh/status/1242197595583328258

Why is he being treated? Are they trying to deny him his rightfully earned Darwin Award?

[shosta]

Hang in there, Esch, you're almost through it. 

[Propagandhim]

https://twitter.com/pardesseleh/status/1242197595583328258

Some old man is likely stuck in the corridor of a hospital without a proper room because of this shitstain. 

[Bebpo]

Welp, online groceries seem useless. Was like beating ticketmaster to get an order in for today delivery.

Then half the stuff needs replacement items - fine
But all the important stuck is just out of stock and I don't get it.

Great getting hamburger patties and spinach, but no buns
getting peanut butter & jelly, but no bread

-_-

Basically everything dairy, eggs, bread, distilled water, TP, paper towels seem very hard to get right now which sucks. Gonna fight the crowds at the market later or tomorrow I guess.

[CatsCatsCats]

Is there an anonymous tip email for like companies sitting on a fat stack of respirators? Asking for a friend 

[Occam]

So Germany has a low covid mortality rate. Simple explanation: they got rid of the Trumps.

[nachobro]

Is there an anonymous tip email for like companies sitting on a fat stack of respirators? Asking for a friend 

call your local hospital posing as the company owner and tell them to come pick up a donation

[Ghoul]

Welp. The person who I think originally got me sick tested positive.

spoiler (click to show/hide)

[close]

According to new research posting hog in the private forum is the cure 

[Pennywise]

Hope you're better soon Esch.
Just watch that wholesome video from Papa Wenger talking about Corona on repeat and you'll feel better soon enough.

[OnlyRegret]

I've got a morbid fascination with the States now that they seem want to make things the worst possible.

For all the death panels chatter, things haven't even begun and they've already floated the idea of acceptable mass die-off. It can only go downhill.

[Madrun Badrun]

https://twitter.com/lhfang/status/1242271693181091840

Esch, I know you're about to die and all that, and this might not be the best time to bring this up, but could you put your emoticons under your links?  It just feels so much better to have the rolfs temporally after the thing they are rolfing. 

[OnlyRegret]

So Germany has a low covid mortality rate. Simple explanation: they got rid of the Trumps.

Unless there is something fucky going on, you've probably got a strong testing rate and no healthcare collapse yet. The latter is probably the real killer.

[Don Rumata]

Welp, online groceries seem useless. Was like beating ticketmaster to get an order in for today delivery.

Then half the stuff needs replacement items - fine
But all the important stuck is just out of stock and I don't get it.

Great getting hamburger patties and spinach, but no buns
getting peanut butter & jelly, but no bread

-_-

Basically everything dairy, eggs, bread, distilled water, TP, paper towels seem very hard to get right now which sucks. Gonna fight the crowds at the market later or tomorrow I guess.

Get some flour, bake your own.

[Madrun Badrun]

https://twitter.com/hashtag/hometasking?src=hashtag_click