Corona Thread |OT| Nu variant, who dis?

[thisismyusername]

damn so esch has it huh

dont die breh, i plan to hire u as my personal chef some day

He can't die until he posts hog to me anyway. 

[nachobro]

why cant those fuckers over there be normal

[thisismyusername]

Move over, corona virus- it's Hanta's time to shine.


https://nypost.com/2020/03/24/man-who-died-on-bus-in-china-tests-positive-for-hantavirus/amp/

spoiler (click to show/hide)

Apparently you get this from eating RATS. 

[close]

[bork]

why cant those fuckers over there be normal

[Ghoul]

bat are off the menu, back to wingless bats

[james]

Pretty sure Yosemite gets that rat virus and they have to close the camp sites to clean it up every few years

[ToxicAdam]

wait... charles has it, but not camilla


sounds like a happy marriage

My favorite tidbit about their affair was when it was revealed that in a phone conversation he told her "he wanted to be her tampon."

Guess those days are over.

[thisismyusername]

Glad to see Meghan and Harry got out of that crazy house at a good time.

[Mupepe]

do you guys only get a one time corona bux payment?

yes, but unemployment insurance is boosted by $600 a week for those out of work as well. after the vote they recess til next month and if needed this thing starts all over again to get people paid for may.

by $600 or from $521 to $600? The article I read sounded like the latter, but the former would be awesome.

[nachobro]

It sounded like the feds just giving $600/week on top of whatever your state was giving you for UI

Dammit.. CNN detailed it:

https://www.cnn.com/2020/03/25/politics/senate-deal-stimulus-checks-coronavirus/index.html

It's based on 2019 returns if you filed lol.. not procrastinating probably just cost me $1500+ or so lol.

However, the payments would start to phase out for individuals with adjusted gross incomes of more than $75,000, and those making more than $99,000 would not qualify at all. The thresholds are doubled for couples.
About 90% of Americans would be eligible to receive full or partial payments, according to estimates by the Tax Policy Center. Lawmakers set aside $250 billion for the so-called recovery rebates.

Qualifying income levels will be based on 2019 federal tax returns, if already filed, and otherwise on 2018 returns.

if you filed jointly i think its 150k before you start losing coronabux

[Mupepe]

well that would be sweet AF and alleviate a lot of my stress from the last week and a half.

[toku]

Think i gotta take a break from coverage. I have no idea what to think about the coming weeks now 

[nachobro]

My work extended WFH another week to line up with the state's request, but I'll have to be in the office next week to help with provider payroll. Hoping it only takes a couple of days, but there will be under 10 of us across three buildings so it probably won't be too bad.

[Ghoul]

Think i gotta take a break from coverage. I have no idea what to think about the coming weeks now 

Yeah try not to overload on it, I just wait for the 5pm updates and then fuck off the rest, no point over indulging in misery.

[james]

I have no doubts I won't get any corona bucks because I basically don't even exist on paper anymore and have been unable to get any type of government benefits of any kind for a decade, including signing up for Obummercare.

Did you fake your death?

[nachobro]

My work extended WFH another week to line up with the state's request, but I'll have to be in the office next week to help with provider payroll. Hoping it only takes a couple of days, but there will be under 10 of us across three buildings so it probably won't be too bad.

boss clarified that i only have to go in "as needed" next week

of course watch this mean like 3 times a day for a printer jam or something dumb

[Ghoul]

Yeah I have no idea when I'm in next.

[nachobro]

i went in yesterday cause an alarm went off in the server room but it wasn't anything major. was pretty quick cause roads were so empty.

[Ghoul]

i went in yesterday cause an alarm went off in the server room but it wasn't anything major. was pretty quick cause roads were so empty.

Nice we have ILO so any alerts I can check before going in. But yeah it' pretty quick to get in because everyone should be staying in

[Madrun Badrun]

[VomKriege]

Lombardy numbers better than yesterday...
You take everything you can get.

[Nintex]

While the numbers keep going up the experts here have announced 'good news'. The measures are working and the growth is no longer exponential.

Corona-chan has also brutally murdered what was left of the EU, as the Russian Army moves in to help Italy
https://twitter.com/asetemel/status/1242769714285338624

The EU meanwhile has announced it only as 10% of the needed medical supplies and equipment required to deal with this crisis in reserve.
And they're wholly depended on importing more.

I'm staying home 

[VomKriege]

Nintex : Dutch Land Uber Alles, we got this !

*2 weeks later*

Nintex : Where is the EU ? Fucking useless. And I'm all out of Kroketten...

[EightBitNate]

:demi

https://twitter.com/CraigCons/status/1239882298784468992

You guys better hope Trump doesn’t see this

[Nintex]

Nintex : Dutch Land Uber Alles, we got this !

*2 weeks later*

Nintex : Where is the EU ? Fucking useless. And I'm all out of Kroketten...

Putin will at some point conquer Europe by door to door toilet roll delivery 

[team filler]

https://twitter.com/StephenCurry30/status/1242865808281227268

[Nintex]

@Dr. Fauci: "We've seen that a small sacrifice to the blood god has given us a 3000 points raise in two days. How many people have to die for the DOW to hit 30k, 50k or even 100k?"

[BisMarckie]

Signed up for some workout at home video service.

Time to get swole brehs

[shosta]

I'm trying to get off the grid. Swap? You can have my name and identity. Only two misdemeanor convictions.

[Madrun Badrun]

I have no doubts I won't get any corona bucks because I basically don't even exist on paper anymore and have been unable to get any type of government benefits of any kind for a decade, including signing up for Obummercare.

Did you fake your death?

No, but I've technically been a dependent for most of the past 10 years, and nothing is in my name, I can't get my driver's license address changed because I have nothing in my name to prove my address, I can't get anything in my name because I can't prove my address, it's been 9 months and I haven't been able to get any of the bills changed to my name even with a death certificate of the previous payee, and there's some weird thing with my SSN that I was unable to sign up for Obamacare any year it was available to me.

I've got a bunch of weird shit going on right now too because of stupid government forms.  I can't defer my student loan because they changed the login system and I took the loans out so long ago that I don't have the numbers to create a new log in (the pin system was not in existence when I took out the loans).  They are federal loans but I keep getting referred to the province when I try to solve the issue and then they haven't been able to solve my issue twice.  I also don't have an Ontario health card because when I tried to sign up they required my father's name, which I don't know.  Luckily, the sask government just keeps sending renewal stickers to my mom, so I can still use my sask card lol.  Bureaucracies can be crazy some times.

[Madrun Badrun]

https://www.cbc.ca/radio/asithappens/p-e-i-farmer-keeps-social-distance-by-hurling-pork-products-to-hungry-customers-1.5507326

P.E.I. farmer keeps social distance by hurling pork products to hungry customers



‘When you start throwing roasts and pork chops through car windows, your aim gets better and better’

[VomKriege]

Today's French numbers, not great, not terrible. Though that fatality figure probably is not counting the deaths that occured in retirement homes and yet.

[nudemacusers]

I’m working two days a week now. Getting paid. Feelsgoodman

[james]

I have no doubts I won't get any corona bucks because I basically don't even exist on paper anymore and have been unable to get any type of government benefits of any kind for a decade, including signing up for Obummercare.

Did you fake your death?

No, but I've technically been a dependent for most of the past 10 years, and nothing is in my name, I can't get my driver's license address changed because I have nothing in my name to prove my address, I can't get anything in my name because I can't prove my address, it's been 9 months and I haven't been able to get any of the bills changed to my name even with a death certificate of the previous payee, and there's some weird thing with my SSN that I was unable to sign up for Obamacare any year it was available to me.

No utility bill, phone bill, or internet bill?

Do you file taxes?

[OnlyRegret]

A joy

https://twitter.com/CourtneyHagle/status/1242803124680699905

[OnlyRegret]

https://twitter.com/StephenCurry30/status/1242865808281227268

This reality isn't all bummers

[Tripon]

https://twitter.com/sonam_sheth/status/1242890475243216898



https://twitter.com/Just_SomeChick/status/1242845950554460160

[Joe Molotov]

A joy

https://twitter.com/CourtneyHagle/status/1242803124680699905

If anyone wants to voluntarily corona themselves before the checks go out, that could save us a lot of money.

[Pennywise]

Signed up for some workout at home video service.

Time to get swole brehs

I wish.
No job, no gym. Feels weird having nothing to get rid of your stress.

The EU meanwhile has announced it only as 10% of the needed medical supplies and equipment required to deal with this crisis in reserve.
And they're wholly depended on importing more.

I'm staying home 

Time for the EU to build up some factories and delievery chains that are all in China now. Might be a better idea to not solely rely on a country that's so far away when you could have done the important parts at home.
Chinese prices though 

[Madrun Badrun]

https://www.standard.co.uk/showbiz/celebrity-news/lee-mack-coronavirus-self-isolating-a4397846.html

Hope he gets better soon.   

[Madrun Badrun]

[bork]

https://www.bloomberg.com/amp/news/articles/2020-03-24/countries-are-starting-to-hoard-food-threatening-global-trade?in_source=amp_trending_now_3

 

[Tripon]

https://twitter.com/Yascha_Mounk/status/1242657146392784896

[Bebpo]

https://www.bloomberg.com/amp/news/articles/2020-03-24/countries-are-starting-to-hoard-food-threatening-global-trade?in_source=amp_trending_now_3

 

 :'(

[nachobro]

If anyone wants to voluntarily corona themselves before the checks go out, that could save us a lot of money.

fiscally conservative, socially liberal

[benjipwns]

https://twitter.com/FBI/status/1242058787160313857

Signed up for some workout at home video service.

Time to get swole brehs

[Madrun Badrun]

"This what I ask people, 'If your pimp is holding your head underwater, how long do you think you could hold your breath'"

[Nintex]

I'm not leaving my house anymore.

Except for groceries but I have the same routine for that every time I need to go out shopping:

- Wake up
- Wash hands
- Put on clothes
- Walk into the store, take what I need, only touch the items I actually intend to buy.
- Avoid all human contact within 3 feet during, before and after the visit
- Go home
- Put down the groceries
- Disinfect stuff I don't trust
- Wash hands
- Put clothes in washing machine
- Take a shower
- Put on clean clothes

I'm thinking about buying air filters so once the C-Virus goes airborne I can prevent it from infecting me.

[Boredfrom]

I got a cold two days ago and panicked my family. It seems that it was a normal cold given that I feel a lot better right now.

[benjipwns]

- Disinfect stuff I don't trust

Is this that famous Dutch Directness for "acts of genocide"?

[BisMarckie]

I have two liters of isopropyl that I bought by accident a couple of years ago. I‘ll sell it to you Nintex, so you can douse yourself with it just to be safe.

Given the current developments I‘ll sell it to you for 49% equity of your company.

[OnlyRegret]

"This what I ask people, 'If your pimp is holding your head underwater, how long do you think you could hold your breath'"

[Madrun Badrun]

He ends with 'The death toll is going to peak in early July.  What's going to happen when you have been out of work for three months and can't pay for your mom's funeral?'  Jesus.

[OnlyRegret]

[Nintex]

Lmao at how quickly nintex went from "LOLZ THIS SHIT AIN'T SHIT" to bubble boy

I think it was me who told you guys that china was burning people in the night with their mobile incinerators who had been welded shut into their homes.

[Tripon]

https://twitter.com/_travishughes/status/1242854139517980673

[OnlyRegret]

Is this one of those contradictions of capitalism I keep hearing about
I guess most suffering being offshored, outta sight outta mind, has left people entirely caught off guard

[Occam]

 Gilead asks to rescind special status for potential coronavirus drug
Drugmaker had come under fire for ‘orphan’ ranking that conferred pricing and tax benefits

https://www.ft.com/content/107706c0-6ec0-11ea-89df-41bea055720b

[Tripon]

spoiler (click to show/hide)

Laboratory Confirmed Cases -- 799* Total Cases
Los Angeles County (excl. LB and Pas) -- 764
Long Beach -- 28
Pasadena -- 7
Deaths 13**
Los Angeles County (excl. LB and Pas) 12
Long Beach 1
Pasadena 0
Age Group (Los Angeles County Cases Only-excl LB and Pas)
0 to 17 -- 10
18 to 40 --310
41 to 65 --303
over 65 --141
Hospitalization
Hospitalized (Ever) 160
CITY / COMMUNITY**
Agoura Hills 3
Alhambra 6
Altadena 5
Arcadia 4
Arleta 1
Athens 1
Baldwin Hills 3
Bell Gardens 3
Bellflower 7
Beverly Hills 13
Beverlywood 8
Boyle Heights 5
Brentwood 34
Burbank 3
Calabasas 4
Canoga Park 2
Canyon Country 1
Carson 9
Castaic 2
Century City 7
Century Palms/Cove 3
Cerritos 2
Claremont 1
Cloverdale/Cochran 3
Compton 2
Covina 3
Crenshaw District 2
Crestview 7
Culver City 6
Del Rey 5
Diamond Bar 2
Downey 5
Downtown 6
Duarte 1
Eagle Rock 2
East Hollywood 1
East Los Angeles 3
Echo Park 4
El Segundo 2
Encino 13
Exposition Park 1
Florence 4
Gardena 1
Glassell Park 1
Glendale 12
Glendora 2
Granada Hills 7
Hancock Park 8
Harbor Gateway 2
Harvard Heights 1
Hawthorne 8
Highland Park 2
Hollywood 23
Hollywood Hills 8
Hyde Park 1
Inglewood 5
Koreatown 5
La Canada Flintridge 3
La Mirada 4
La Verne 2
Lake Balboa 2
Lakewood 4
Lancaster 13
Lawndale 1
Lomita 9
Los Feliz 3
Lynwood 3
Manhattan Beach 17
Mar Vista 6
Melrose 33
Miracle Mile 8
Monterey Park 4
Mt. Washington 2
North Hollywood 11
Northridge 2
Norwalk 2
Pacific Palisades 9
Palmdale 2
Palms 8
Panorama City 1
Paramount 3
Park La Brea 8
Pico 2
Pico Rivera 1
Playa Vista 5
Pomona 1
Porter Ranch 1
Rancho Palos Verdes 5
Redondo Beach 9
Reseda 5
San Dimas 1
San Fernando 3
San Gabriel 1
San Pedro 4
Santa Clarita 10
Santa Monica 18
Santa Monica Mountains 3
Sherman Oaks 12
Silverlake 6
South El Monte 3
South Gate 2
South Park 1
South Pasadena 3
South Whittier 3
Stevenson Ranch 2
Studio City 7
Sun Valley 2
Sunland 1
Sylmar 1
Tarzana 9
Temple 3
Torrance 9
Tujunga 1
University Park 4
Valinda 1
Valley Glen 11
Van Nuys 4
Venice 9
Vermont Knolls 1
Vermont Vista 3
Vernon Central 1
Walnut 1
Watts 1
West Adams 4
West Covina 2
West Hills 4
West Hollywood 31
West Los Angeles 4
West Vernon 5
Westchester 5
Westlake 1
Westwood 9
Whittier 3
Wholesale District 4
Willowbrook 1
Wilmington 4
Wilshire Center 2
Winnetka 3
Woodland Hills 11
- Under Investigation 56
*These numbers are subject to change based on further investigation; two previously reported cases were not in Public Health's jurisdiction.
**One death is reclassified as suspect pending CDC evaluation.
***Locations that were less <25000 have been added to the nearest city or community.

[close]

799 confirmed cases of COVID-19 and 13 deaths.
http://publichealth.lacounty.gov/phcommon/public/media/mediapubhpdetail.cfm?prid=2282

[Joe Molotov]

https://twitter.com/yungchomsky/status/1242904421547126785