The way you present yourself is reflected on your inner emotional state, so even if you think youre not reflecting it, you are. I dont think 'not' comparing yourself to other people is good advice - because you can absolutely learn from others what they do to make themselves successful. A better way of putting it would be, stop dragging yourself through the mud because you are not the same as another person, everytime you do that, youre reinforcing the idea you are what you dont want to be, the things we tell ourselves internally have a huge impact on the person we will become over time. You've gotten to a point where youve been feeding the negativity in your mind so much thats its taken over everything else. You do not know yourself as much as you think you do, in fact none of us do, and you need to start being more conscious about the person you are. As ive told you before, you need a radical philosophical change so that you can start feeding yourself more positive thoughts about yourself and your future, because everything you need to make yourself the person you want to be, you already have. But you need to start telling yourself, what you want, the person you want to be, you need to start complimenting yourself for things you do well, and stop beating yourself up. Start giving yourself hope, and tell yourself that everyday, and eventually your mind will start pushing you in that direction, but it wont happen overnight, and you have to embrace the journey.
For those who have nothing, everything will be taken away, for those who have everything they will be given the world.
edit: When you feel an emotion to an extreme, your brain physiologically cuts off neural connections to anything not related to that emotion, and only gives you access to anything that will fuel that emotion further, so if you can imagine a person in a rage in which words will not reach them, unless you say something that makes it worse, thats why. It's also why im on the fence about classing depression as a disease, just because brain scans show the effect of depression on brain activity, all of it is internal. And emotional regulation can be learned.
