Author Topic: RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011 (Read 1425780 times)

thisismyusername · « **Reply #4860 on:** May 13, 2018, 12:06:20 AM »

Quote from: Rahxephon91 on May 12, 2018, 10:48:44 PM

Well my problems are that I don't try, am afraid, and just assume it won't go my way.

If I could get past those, things would be butter.

Real talk: CBT would help with some of this. Google a form and then start to "challenge your thoughts."

spoiler (click to show/hide)

May or may not help. It didn't help for me, but my situation isn't dating and life-specific that makes me scoff at challenging said thoughts about my situation. But that has nothing to do with dating.

[close]

Basically, you need to stop thinking things aren't going go your way. The only way to beat "being afraid" is to Just Do It™. Go out there, talk to a girl about a TV show or something. Small talk, that sort of thing. While social anxiety may kick in, so long as you try to NOT think about what the other person is thinking and you block out your own thoughts, you'll slowly improve on this. (Not sure if I'm making sense. Basically you tell yourself "I don't give a fuck, I'm going to go ahead and do this, good or bad. Let's see what is going to happen" and then kick your inner monologue to the curb/be in the present)

thisismyusername · « **Reply #4861 on:** May 13, 2018, 12:10:07 AM »

Quote from: BlueTsunami on May 13, 2018, 12:01:56 AM

He was just being a one man census

Yes, but at the same time looking at his responses really begs the question why he can't role-play as a girl as a guy in his actual hetero-sexual interactions.

Atra: That list is bullshit. I know plenty of straight men that don't like sports, or don't like fast-cars, or some element of the above and they get laid just fine. A lot of women do not give a shit about "traditional men" activities provided you're decent enough to be around.

I say this as a fellow "spends too much time online" person.

seagrams hotsauce · « **Reply #4862 on:** May 13, 2018, 03:48:57 AM »

Quote from: Rahxephon91 on May 12, 2018, 11:48:08 PM

Quote from: nudemacusers on May 12, 2018, 10:51:51 PM

and for rahx the reality of 99% of social engagements is that people just want to relax and have fun, shit isn't deep or a tribulation. there is nothing to not 'go your way'. it just goes.
And I know that usually. I go out a lot and with the mindset of just going out to have fun. And I do regardless of meeting women or not. Which is porbably why I have felt better about life in geneal, because I have mostly dropped any expectations towards that stuff.

Still, when it does come up and I feel I have a slight chance with any woman, I buckle up. I over think it, assume it's a fools errand, and when it does not happen for any reason I'm disappointed and for a bit get emo and "women don't like me blah blah forever alone" for a bit.

I've gotten a bit better, but I'm not there yet. Either way, my focus is simply on trying to be a cool person right now. Women stuff would be very nice obviously, but I'm not going to worry too much.

I don't know you personally obviously but I'll say this; your recent posts are miles ahead of the stuff you were posting a while back. You seem a lot more laid back and self-aware, and i think it's a good thing that you're able to recognize patterns of behavior and that you're not pressuring yourself

chronovore · « **Reply #4863 on:** May 13, 2018, 05:09:19 AM »

Quote from: Atramental on May 12, 2018, 08:24:28 PM

I suppose.

Very few people understand me.

Quote from: Huff on May 12, 2018, 09:45:05 PM

No ones really that complicated

Very few people are far outside the bell-curve of normalcy. There's a whole bunch of categories in which each of us is as basic as fuck. Wanting to be a special snowflake gets you into the weird, unhappy territory some of our actual Weird Bore members inhabit. Learn to love yourself as-is, you'll be more accepting of fellow humans.

VomKriege · « **Reply #4864 on:** May 13, 2018, 05:42:53 AM »

Quote from: chronovore on May 13, 2018, 05:09:19 AM

Quote from: Atramental on May 12, 2018, 08:24:28 PM
I suppose.

Very few people understand me.
Quote from: Huff on May 12, 2018, 09:45:05 PM
No ones really that complicated

Very few people are far outside the bell-curve of normalcy. There's a whole bunch of categories in which each of us is as basic as fuck. Wanting to be a special snowflake gets you into the weird, unhappy territory some of our actual Weird Bore members inhabit. Learn to love yourself as-is, you'll be more accepting of fellow humans.

But the test told me I was INFJ, there's only 1% of us !

nudemacusers · « **Reply #4865 on:** May 13, 2018, 11:31:22 AM »

Quote from: Atramental on May 12, 2018, 11:21:32 PM

Quote from: nudemacusers on May 12, 2018, 10:51:51 PM
Quote from: Atramental on May 12, 2018, 10:43:25 PM
Quote from: nudemacusers on May 12, 2018, 10:38:09 PM
i mean that list is just a heap of negativity. who wants that.

They don’t. Which is why I try not to bring it up. Which is why I come off as stiff because I’m a cauldron of negativity trying not to boil over.
breh the reality is that even if you don't bring up your interests or 4chan misanthropy its obviously preventing you from connecting with other people, even you see that... so maybe just drop it entirely?

1. stop making lists about how you're misunderstood.
2. see 1.
3. go be social with your coworkers and peers in your geographic vicinity. you might actually enjoy yourself.
But... I have several times and I didn't enjoy myself.

yeah cuz you're still at step 1/2 (evidence: last two pages of this thread). you must finish those before #3.

mormapope · « **Reply #4866 on:** May 13, 2018, 02:49:09 PM »

Quote from: chronovore on May 13, 2018, 05:09:19 AM

Quote from: Atramental on May 12, 2018, 08:24:28 PM
I suppose.

Very few people understand me.
Quote from: Huff on May 12, 2018, 09:45:05 PM
No ones really that complicated

Very few people are far outside the bell-curve of normalcy. There's a whole bunch of categories in which each of us is as basic as fuck. Wanting to be a special snowflake gets you into the weird, unhappy territory some of our actual Weird Bore members inhabit. Learn to love yourself as-is, you'll be more accepting of fellow humans.

Something that Ive had a hard time accepting is having borderline personality disorder. Ive fucked up or have had fucked up relationships with people and I constantly would demonize those people rather than thinking about how I view life emotionally and mentally.

My point being, being a special snowflake and not knowing or accepting it can make life different and harder I guess.

CatsCatsCats · « **Reply #4867 on:** May 14, 2018, 01:10:25 AM »

Omg so many posts hold on gworl

team filler · « **Reply #4868 on:** May 14, 2018, 01:29:14 AM »

Quote from: Atramental on May 12, 2018, 04:45:38 PM

Okay, it's gone.

I'll go back to being a boring sap for now.

bring it back goddamnit, fuck these distinguished mentally-challenged fellows if they don't like it

VomKriege · « **Reply #4869 on:** May 14, 2018, 02:03:45 AM »

Wow a second match, I'm drowning in adoration... I'm probably at 1% "success" rate on my messages. Besides that last one probably won't go anywhere (smoking seems a pretty big no no to her).

shosta · « **Reply #4870 on:** May 14, 2018, 02:20:05 AM »

Quit smoking!

seagrams hotsauce · « **Reply #4871 on:** May 14, 2018, 02:26:49 AM »

Ya'll really need to stop running metrics on the number of women who respond to you vs the number of women you swipe right or message on. Any woman on a dating site who has the slightest idea how to take pictures of herself is inundated with dick pics and lame come ons, in that order, from dudes who she at first glance judged to not be pervy or wack. Don't take getting curved by 99% of the chicks you match with personally, just try to become more interesting and less personally attached. These are fellow strangers taking shots in the dark. Be weird, but not creepy. Like I think Atra was onto something with the duck bit, despite my suspicions that it's something he found on 4chan or whatever; it's super corny, but it's cute and harmlessly weird

seagrams hotsauce · « **Reply #4872 on:** May 14, 2018, 02:28:04 AM »

Quote from: Exodust on May 14, 2018, 02:26:05 AM

Quote from: Shostakovich on May 14, 2018, 02:20:05 AM
Quit smoking!

Lol no you fucking loser.

Switch to a juul and become a #coolteen

seagrams hotsauce · « **Reply #4873 on:** May 14, 2018, 02:29:07 AM »

oh no a filler like. idk about that third to last post after all

team filler · « **Reply #4874 on:** May 14, 2018, 02:29:47 AM »

mr beaks likes the duck stuff

seagrams hotsauce · « **Reply #4875 on:** May 14, 2018, 02:30:35 AM »

i've only had three beers tonight but i think i'm going to aa tomorrow

VomKriege · « **Reply #4876 on:** May 14, 2018, 02:35:19 AM »

Oh I don't take it personally and I understand perfectly what you say : no ill will against any individuals. It's just weird to be sending hundreds of messages like you're in a factory or something and it doesn't feel right (like hitting every girl at a party simultaneously).

I'm glad I did get some feedback. And I'm looking forward to that drink. She's nice, cheerful, very well read, has an exotic background (not the classiest way to put it, but that means there's lot to discover). We'll see if there's attraction.

seagrams hotsauce · « **Reply #4877 on:** May 14, 2018, 02:44:56 AM »

that's the big turn off for online dating for me. The pro forma shotgun response method just feels so sterile, tho sometimes you can actually connect with cool ppl. I second guess myself way more when I'm writing shit out though so I prefer interacting with folks irl, at least there I can just get laughed at by the homies when I fuck up instead of ruminating on the cool things I should have said or whatever

tiesto · « **Reply #4878 on:** May 14, 2018, 06:45:53 PM »

How many people have tried both the paid and unpaid dating sites? And what was your experience? I find that the paywall weeds out the women who aren't really serious. Match worked out really well for me last year (after a slow start I met a wonderful gf from it).

So if you guys are struggling with Tinder/Bumble (I tried Bumble and hated it - very limited filtering capability, way too meat-marketish, didn't get very many matches at all and only one date from it), maybe consider a paid app?

Rahxephon91 · « **Reply #4879 on:** May 14, 2018, 08:12:02 PM »

Well I haven't attempted those websites because well I don't know what I'm looking for and if I'm really looking for anything honestly. I'm not an established person and I feel for those websites you probably should be at some level of success in life.

I don't know in the end I'm more hoping to fall into something, if it turns serious naturally then that will be cool. But I'm not looking to go on these elaborate and "forced" dates. I'm hoping to meet someone and grow some natural chemistry and experience stuff, because I clearly no fuck all about relationships. So I don't even know if I want one.

And as I've said before I'm a bit worried that as I turn 28 I missed the time for that. Any woman I meet is going to eventually have to deal with my growing pains, because I have such little experience.

I mean I don't know, it's why I don't like Tinder and Online dating in general. I feel like people have to get to know me and I have to become comfortable with people and online dating is a strange funneling system that kind of makes that experience strange. I don't think someone like me is suited for it.

But then what do I know?

Atramental · « **Reply #4880 on:** May 14, 2018, 08:14:14 PM »

edit: She's 20 so she can't drink alcohol (legally). I hope her 21st birthday is soon.

edit2: playing the waiting game right now for her to pick a day that works best for her.

BlueTsunami · « **Reply #4881 on:** May 14, 2018, 09:27:56 PM »

Atra finally meeting that 20yo

"Ok, dangerously close to getting what I want, this feels a bit weird..."

Atramental · « **Reply #4882 on:** May 14, 2018, 09:35:22 PM »

She just added a photo with her tongue all the way out.

tiesto · « **Reply #4883 on:** May 14, 2018, 10:25:49 PM »

Quote from: Rahxephon91 on May 14, 2018, 08:12:02 PM

Well I haven't attempted those websites because well I don't know what I'm looking for and if I'm really looking for anything honestly. I'm not an established person and I feel for those websites you probably should be at some level of success in life.

I don't know in the end I'm more hoping to fall into something, if it turns serious naturally then that will be cool. But I'm not looking to go on these elaborate and "forced" dates. I'm hoping to meet someone and grow some natural chemistry and experience stuff, because I clearly no fuck all about relationships. So I don't even know if I want one.

And as I've said before I'm a bit worried that as I turn 28 I missed the time for that. Any woman I meet is going to eventually have to deal with my growing pains, because I have such little experience.

I mean I don't know, it's why I don't like Tinder and Online dating in general. I feel like people have to get to know me and I have to become comfortable with people and online dating is a strange funneling system that kind of makes that experience strange. I don't think someone like me is suited for it.

But then what do I know?

Don't conflate being 28 with "missing the boat". There are quite enough people your age that haven't been involved in any relationship (both male and female). Nor do I feel you need to worry about being "established" before meeting someone. My friend is 36, never held a job for more than a month, still lives with his parents... managed to get himself engaged. Meanwhile there are plenty of highly successful people who can't ever seem to find someone to click with.

Unfortunately, the best way to meet people is to still put yourself out there. And this means lots of awkward af social interactions and first dates.

Rahx, I still think you've vastly improved your attitude since you started posting in this thread, btw.

Atramental · « **Reply #4884 on:** May 14, 2018, 11:11:50 PM »

Addict? Addict.

CatsCatsCats · « **Reply #4885 on:** May 14, 2018, 11:14:41 PM »

no bro that seems fine

No, seriously, didn’t you already deal with a heroin heroine?

Atramental · « **Reply #4886 on:** May 14, 2018, 11:23:35 PM »

Yes. But at least this one is upfront about it and didn't omit certain details up until she's in my car and we're on our way to dinner...

I'm gonna tell her she should try and get some psilocybin before she royally fucks up her life.

mormapope · « **Reply #4887 on:** May 14, 2018, 11:24:32 PM »

You asked that question so nicely Atra

Bitch is fucking nuts tho. I have empathy for many conditions and recovering addicts, getting a tattoo for a drug youre using is grosssss.

Atramental · « **Reply #4888 on:** May 14, 2018, 11:40:39 PM »

I told her in the politest way possible to get her shit together and she unmatched.

I'm not giving her a cent if I ever see her on the side of a road one day.

edit: Also, I'm beginning to wonder... do I look like someone who takes opiates/is opiate friendly?

mormapope · « **Reply #4889 on:** May 14, 2018, 11:44:37 PM »

This is for the better Atra. Id honestly worry about her stealing stuff from your car or stealing shit in general.

Assimilate · « **Reply #4890 on:** May 14, 2018, 11:45:57 PM »

Atra, you fool addicts are always down for giving bjs

Atramental · « **Reply #4891 on:** May 14, 2018, 11:47:22 PM »

I'm not getting a blowie from someone who may have Hep C (or worse), man.

Assimilate · « **Reply #4892 on:** May 14, 2018, 11:52:31 PM »

Quote from: Atramental on May 14, 2018, 11:47:22 PM

I'm not getting a blowie from someone who may have Hep C (or worse), man.

You can't get Hep C from a BJ you immature.

Atramental · « **Reply #4893 on:** May 14, 2018, 11:57:23 PM »

Like I give a fuck. I have options, goddamnit. I'm not a total degenerate where I'll risk getting a STD just because I haven't had a good suck and fuck in a while.

spoiler (click to show/hide)

Oh god. Pls Brittany message me back.

[close]

Assimilate · « **Reply #4894 on:** May 15, 2018, 12:01:19 AM »

Quote from: Atramental on May 14, 2018, 11:57:23 PM

Like I give a fuck. I have options, goddamnit. I'm not a total degenerate where I'll risk getting a STD just because I haven't had a good suck and fuck in a while.

Well at least i'm not being a racist

Atramental · « **Reply #4895 on:** May 15, 2018, 12:03:10 AM »

nudemacusers · « **Reply #4896 on:** May 15, 2018, 12:05:07 AM »

next time just unmatch without going full DARE mom on some rando. nobody needs the sermonizing. just bad vibes for all.

rereading that convo you sure you're not from mayberry?

shosta · « **Reply #4897 on:** May 15, 2018, 12:05:30 AM »

I fucked a meth addict once and it was the best sex of my life. I could stick my dick in a Hoover and it wouldn't suck that hard.

Atramental · « **Reply #4898 on:** May 15, 2018, 12:05:42 AM »

She looked like one and she acted like one.

That's enough for me.

Quote from: nudemacusers on May 15, 2018, 12:05:07 AM

next time just unmatch without going full DARE mom on some rando. nobody needs the sermonizing. just bad vibes for all.

rereading that convo you sure you're not from mayberry?

It's my religious upbringing that comes out sometimes.

nudemacusers · « **Reply #4899 on:** May 15, 2018, 12:07:43 AM »

Quote from: Atramental on May 15, 2018, 12:05:42 AM

It's my religious upbringing.

i thought you exorcized these demons. you're just as goofy in the head as these chix acting this way

shosta · « **Reply #4900 on:** May 15, 2018, 12:08:48 AM »

Which part of the Bible says you should shun drug users but pretend to be a girl in your spare time

Assimilate · « **Reply #4901 on:** May 15, 2018, 12:09:10 AM »

guy was catching shit for being manipulative and creepy and now he's catching shit for looking out for someones wellbeing.

Atra can't win with the Bore or with the ladies.

But there's still Crypto my dude

I'm a Puppy! · « **Reply #4902 on:** May 15, 2018, 12:10:10 AM »

The Bore relationship thread: You need to work on your communication skills. How are you ever going to find a partner for a long term relationship if you can't do basic communication?

Also The Bore relationship thread: SHUT UP AND STICK YOUR DICK IN THE HEROIN ADDICT!!

nudemacusers · « **Reply #4903 on:** May 15, 2018, 12:11:01 AM »

Quote from: I'm a Puppy! on May 15, 2018, 12:10:10 AM

The Bore relationship thread: You need to work on your communication skills. How are you ever going to find a partner for a long term relationship if you can't do basic communication?

Also The Bore relationship thread: SHUT UP AND STICK YOUR DICK IN THE HEROIN ADDICT!!

what better way to work on your ability to communicate than getting a junkie to let you bust without offering brown in exchange?

mormapope · « **Reply #4904 on:** May 15, 2018, 12:20:24 AM »

Quote from: I'm a Puppy! on May 15, 2018, 12:10:10 AM

The Bore relationship thread: You need to work on your communication skills. How are you ever going to find a partner for a long term relationship if you can't do basic communication?

Also The Bore relationship thread: SHUT UP AND STICK YOUR DICK IN THE HEROIN ADDICT!!

I was gonna say

If Atra is gonna get shit talk for this, itd be that he keeps attracting addicts lmao. You got sum odd luck Atra

nudemacusers · « **Reply #4905 on:** May 15, 2018, 12:23:44 AM »

when u scare away the normies you get the chaff.

Atramental · « **Reply #4906 on:** May 15, 2018, 12:26:07 AM »

Quote from: mormapope on May 15, 2018, 12:20:24 AM

Quote from: I'm a Puppy! on May 15, 2018, 12:10:10 AM
The Bore relationship thread: You need to work on your communication skills. How are you ever going to find a partner for a long term relationship if you can't do basic communication?

Also The Bore relationship thread: SHUT UP AND STICK YOUR DICK IN THE HEROIN ADDICT!!

I was gonna say

If Atra is gonna get shit talk for this, itd be that he keeps attracting addicts lmao. You got sum odd luck Atra

Maybe it's not so much my luck but the demographics of my home state of South Carolina.

Or at least, that's what I tell myself.

edit: Also, I’m a strong believer that pain is a necessary and powerful teacher/motivator. And trying to completely omit pain from your life with opiates and other strong pain killers is a terrifying proposition. Life is pain. Embrace it and be molded by it so you can be stronger and more resilient in your day to day struggles.

VomKriege · « **Reply #4907 on:** May 15, 2018, 04:05:15 AM »

Heh, I dunno how you worded it but yeah I would think thrice before going any further too. Guess I'm a square. You shouldn't assume they have STDs but surmising she may be an addict doesn't seem far fetched.

Then again I'm not the wisest source on getting ass. YMMV.

Atramental · « **Reply #4908 on:** May 15, 2018, 05:43:45 AM »

Quote from: Atramental on May 14, 2018, 08:14:14 PM

(Image removed from quote.)

edit: She's 20 so she can't drink alcohol (legally). I hope her 21st birthday is soon.

edit2: playing the waiting game right now for her to pick a day that works best for her.

Funny how June 4th got here so fast:

How the hell am I this unlucky?

BlueTsunami · « **Reply #4909 on:** May 15, 2018, 06:15:16 AM »

Response

Well if you love it so much why dont you fucking marry it

*unmatch*

Atramental · « **Reply #4910 on:** May 15, 2018, 06:21:20 AM »

I told here “No worries. Best of luck on your future endeavors. ✌️“ and she said “Thank you.” and unmatched.

I really should go to bars instead.

Atramental · « **Reply #4911 on:** May 15, 2018, 06:29:11 AM »

I’m just a ~nice~ guy. That’s all.

spoiler (click to show/hide)

not really tho...

[close]

edit:
I'm beginning to wonder if I've pissed off the wrong person and they told their network of acquaintances & friends that I'm a shitbag or something?

nudemacusers · « **Reply #4912 on:** May 15, 2018, 08:15:51 AM »

Yeah I’m guessing it’s a far reaching gynospiracy vs literally any other explanation.

Atramental · « **Reply #4913 on:** May 15, 2018, 08:20:21 AM »

Or maybe I'm just lowkey ugly.

BlueTsunami · « **Reply #4914 on:** May 15, 2018, 08:30:22 AM »

Should have just tried your luck with the smack head

mormapope · « **Reply #4915 on:** May 15, 2018, 09:18:16 AM »

College girls are high level gods at being flakes. Women and Milfs in their late 20's or early 30's on the other hand are a lot more straight up with banging and relationships, based on my experiences.

Atramental · « **Reply #4916 on:** May 15, 2018, 09:46:07 AM »

Older women won't even allow me to get to my "Hey we should meet up" line if they're not interested in me.

They'll just ghost as soon as they sense the conversation is going in that direction.

Seems like my ideal age group is 21 to 24. But they're not as common (in my area on tinder) as the 18 to 20 y/o's and the 25 to 35 y/o's.

Probably because they're in public like what normal ass people do.

TakingBackSunday · « **Reply #4917 on:** May 15, 2018, 10:16:38 AM »

21-24 is playing on high difficulty man. Get the late 20s/early 30s gals.

BlueTsunami · « **Reply #4918 on:** May 15, 2018, 10:18:24 AM »

Atramental · « **Reply #4919 on:** May 15, 2018, 10:22:47 AM »

Late 20s/early 30s are, more often than not, dating men in their 30s/40s. At least from what I’ve seen.

And I’ve never had much luck with women my age or older. They can sense my inexperience a mile away.

News:

Author Topic: RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011 (Read 1425780 times)