RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011

[tiesto]

We moved to "getting that drink Friday, just sent me a message whenever".
It's gonna be a bit of a surprise, in some ways she's very familiar (film buff, a bit fringey, a little cynical etc...), in others not (probably likes weed, maybe dropped light innuendo), though being a square I wouldn't mind (and need ?) someone loose.

Really looking forward to meeting in person.

What do you mean by "fringey"?

[Huff]

Always just care slightly less

[Mupepe]

Atra, how come you don’t just start showing some skin? Turn her on dude. Invite her over and when she shows up have only a towel on. All non chalant turn on a box fan and while dropping the towel say “I hope you don’t mind but this really is the best way to dry” and just shake your shit in front of the fan for her.

[CatsCatsCats]

It could work

[BlueTsunami]

The comforter sprawled over the bare chest showing a bit of the traps. 60% of the time it works everytime. Maybe a hint of areola. Unleash your inner whore.

This is why Snapchat exists

Also, make sure to use a warm light from a lamp if youre pale as fuck. Tricks of the trade of my pale ass. Nothing more appetizing than the bare chest of a corpse that the pure white LED on your cellphone just produced.

[VomKriege]

We moved to "getting that drink Friday, just sent me a message whenever".
It's gonna be a bit of a surprise, in some ways she's very familiar (film buff, a bit fringey, a little cynical etc...), in others not (probably likes weed, maybe dropped light innuendo), though being a square I wouldn't mind (and need ?) someone loose.

Really looking forward to meeting in person.

What do you mean by "fringey"?

Relishing in being a bit outside the norm. Just a guess. Pretty common for genre movie buffs. Likes to slack too.
But she sounds level headed and modest

[Atramental]

Sounds like she wants to be wanted. But doesn't want to want. If that makes sense.

edit: I meant the above for possum girl

That sounds about right.

Just not too wanted or she begins to feel like she’s not able to chase me back a bit.

God. This form of pyschological cock & ball torture feels bad, man.

edit: oh, she hasn’t told me what her snap is but I found it via her phone number.

[BlueTsunami]

.

edit: oh, she hasn’t told me what her snap is but I found it via her phone number.

This is a tricky one. Y'all seem cool enough at this point to just add her on social media. I mean, you have her number, everything else is shades of less private. Hmmmm.

Fuck it, just add her and start sending suggestive pics of your happy trail. Bitches love that.

[I'm a Puppy!]

Atra,
Please remember, I'm a romantic at heart, my wife and I planned our wedding and got married within 2 weeks because we couldn't stand being apart. So keep that in mind when I say this:

You're caring too much, too fast. Chill. 


I know it's exciting, but you're on a path that has no happy ending even if she does like you back if you keep going at this rate.

[Atramental]

.

edit: oh, she hasn’t told me what her snap is but I found it via her phone number.

This is a tricky one. Y'all seem cool enough at this point to just add her on social media. I mean, you have her number, everything else is shades of less private. Hmmmm.

Fuck it, just add her and start sending suggestive pics of your happy trail. Bitches love that.

I’ll add her if things seem to go well during/after the rave.

[Atramental]

Atra,
Please remember, I'm a romantic at heart, my wife and I planned our wedding and got married within 2 weeks because we couldn't stand being apart. So keep that in mind when I say this:

You're caring too much, too fast. Chill. 


I know it's exciting, but you're on a path that has no happy ending even if she does like you back if you keep going at this rate.

I’m trying my darndest to find other girls to take my mind off of her but things aren’t going too well on that front. Which is super frustrating.

Anyways, after taking a snooze for a couple of hours I feel much better than I was feeling several hours ago.

[BlueTsunami]

Don't add her to Snapchat unless it somehow comes up in conversation dude.  What do you expect to gain otherwise?  Signaling to her that you are randomly thinking about her searching her on social media is not a great look.

Yeah I'm edging towards this now. I never had issues with adding someone on snap randomly like that but I knew these girls for a bit longer and met them outside of a dating app. I've also even been added randomly. But I def dont want Atra to disturb this budding ecosystem.

[Huff]

Add her, and then just add a dick pick to your story so that she sees it but knows it’s not directed straight to her

Win/win

[Kara]

This is honestly drifting into Creepy Stalker adjacent now. Stop egging him on.

[I'm a Puppy!]

Atra,
Please remember, I'm a romantic at heart, my wife and I planned our wedding and got married within 2 weeks because we couldn't stand being apart. So keep that in mind when I say this:

You're caring too much, too fast. Chill. 


I know it's exciting, but you're on a path that has no happy ending even if she does like you back if you keep going at this rate.

I’m trying my darndest to find other girls to take my mind off of her but things aren’t going too well on that front. Which is super frustrating.

Anyways, after taking a snooze for a couple of hours I feel much better than I was feeling several hours ago.

There's your problem padawan. If you're looking for happiness outside of yourself, how can you bring it to anyone?
 

[Atramental]

From personal experience, if I end making myself content/happy by myself I just become a hermit that dicks around on the internet all day and never goes outside.

[brawndolicious]

From personal experience, if I end making myself content/happy by myself I just become a hermit that dicks around on the internet all day and never goes outside.

You don't know me!

....

The best thing to do is become friends and give it a few months to see if you two actually develop chemistry together (eg: can talk for hours at a time without getting bored) or if you should just be friends. Right now, your dick is infatuated and we all know that the next immediate step is either some long porno seshes or really, really, really regretful text chains.

[Raist]

Atra, how come you don’t just start showing some skin? Turn her on dude. Invite her over and when she shows up have only a towel on. All non chalant turn on a box fan and while dropping the towel say “I hope you don’t mind but this really is the best way to dry” and just shake your shit in front of the fan for her.

For a second I thought you wrote "and just shake a shit in front of the fan for her." 

[Atramental]

redacted

[Oblivion]

Okay, I've attempted to use the ultimate weapon for my online dating profile: a pic with me and a DOG!

If that doesn't increase my success rate nothing* will.

*short of plastic surgery

[BlueTsunami]

redacted

Huahuahuahuah

I seent it

And YES

[Assimilate]

redacted

Huahuahuahuah

I seent it

And YES

post what he said then

[Atramental]

‘Twas my masculine physique

[Assimilate]

‘Twas my masculine physique

nooooo, shirtless pic?

riotous is going to be mad he missed it.

post it again

[Atramental]

Sorry, only registered users can see this content. Please Login or Register.

disclaimer: I just came out of a hot shower so my Polish nips look like salami

Atra, how come you don’t just start showing some skin? Turn her on dude. Invite her over and when she shows up have only a towel on. All non chalant turn on a box fan and while dropping the towel say “I hope you don’t mind but this really is the best way to dry” and just shake your shit in front of the fan for her.

Maybe that'll work down the road but now? Mmmm. Not sure.

[Mupepe]

based on that pic it would work.  You've got the Zangief chest hair triangle.  Chicks dig that.  I've got it too, but not as full as yours.

[Atramental]

Should I do the old “Oops. I meant to send that to someone else.” text with that pic? 

spoiler (click to show/hide)

jk

[close]

[BlueTsunami]

Yeah she'll see through that shit. Gonna have to play the long game of playing text footsies until sexay pics come into play. But save that pic. Your Ace in the Hole.

[Mupepe]

what you should really do is start talking to someone else and text the slut you don't care about while you hang out with raccoon girl.  Every time you pick up your phone just make sure to put a big shit eating grin on your face while you read her messages.  She'll either get jealous and fuck you... win!  Or she won't and you'll fuck the other one.... win!

[Atramental]

I'm chatting with a 29 y/o single mom but she just got out of relationship as well and is not down to hookup...

God, I hate being the "emotional rebound guy".

[CatsCatsCats]

So don’t be. Sounds like another take take taker, you ain’t gotta give to that 

[Atramental]

True.

Also, I've completely depleted/swiped through all of the women within a 50 mile radius on tinder. So it's just a ghost town now on my end.


If I'm free Friday, I'll try striking up conversations with random girls at a bar or something.

[VomKriege]

Woke up with a sore throat, so may not get that Friday drink after all I'll see how bad it is. Would really like to do it because I have a very busy planning afterwards up until Christmas...

[Assimilate]

riotous is going to be mad he missed it.

Nah I just wanna see what all of your shit talking is about; of course I never really will.

The only way natural lifters look good in pics is if they're really lean. So you'll have to wait until I hit that target weight.



Atra, with your shaved head and beard you should get a neck tat. Bitches love neck tats these days. Get all tatted up.

[Rahxephon91]

Well I hope you go to the rave. My experince with those have been super fun.

[Assimilate]

Well I hope you go to the rave. My experince with those have been super fun.

What did you do Rahx? Sit in the corner the whole time sulking?

[I'm a Puppy!]

Well I hope you go to the rave. My experince with those have been super fun.

What did you do Rahx? Sit in the corner the whole time sulking?

You know, the way you view rahxs attempts at relationships with derision? That's the way we view your attempts at zen and being a better person. : trumps

[Assimilate]

Well I hope you go to the rave. My experince with those have been super fun.

What did you do Rahx? Sit in the corner the whole time sulking?

You know, the way you view rahxs attempts at relationships with derision? That's the way we view your attempts at zen and being a better person. : trumps

when did you become the damn Zen Police?

[Kara]

All koan are bastards.

[I'm a Puppy!]

Well I hope you go to the rave. My experince with those have been super fun.

What did you do Rahx? Sit in the corner the whole time sulking?

You know, the way you view rahxs attempts at relationships with derision? That's the way we view your attempts at zen and being a better person. : trumps

when did you become the damn Zen Police?

One does not become the zen police. One simply is the zen police

[Rahxephon91]

[Rahxephon91]

Well I hope you go to the rave. My experince with those have been super fun.

What did you do Rahx? Sit in the corner the whole time sulking?

Well it's pretty much impossible to do that at a EDM show on molly.

The first show I danced with a big titty Asian girl. It was more of a dry hump honestly.

The 2nd show which featured Above and Beyond was well above and beyond. I was really into the show and probably could danced with this thick brunette, but chose not too.

When I was on the stuff I mean I was really comfortable with myself. I could feel nothing but possitivity.  So I really felt good about myself.

I mean I go out pretty much every week and when I'm drunk I mean I can feel that girls are interested and find me attractive. I mean I'm not an ugly guy or anything and when I go out I'm pretty fun. When I'm drunk(and well having fun) or on drugs I mean I have a lot of energy and really put it out there. I mean I often am able to at least dance with some attractive girls.

But in all these things, it's not like my mind turns off. So I'm still a bit insecure and I still think "well I mean there's a probably a good chance I could talk to this girl, but I'm still pretty awkward so why would I do that". And so instead I just keep doing what I'm doing and have fun.

[tiesto]

Thicc brunettes who like Above and Beyond   

[BlueTsunami]

Life wish is to make out to a chill ass Tiesto jam

[Assimilate]

Atra, seriously

aren't you a creative? the creative ones at work getaway with looking like whatever the fuck they want. If I were you I'd get a neck tattoo and a sleeve.

Judging by the girls you like you'd pull allllllll those girls easily

[CatsCatsCats]

Ew don’t get a neck tattoo. Sleeve would be good tho

[Assimilate]

He's a good candidate for a neck tattoo though and girls would jump on his cock if he had one.

because he'd be a crazy looking bearded bastard but once they meet him he's a fluffy cupcake of a bitch. they'd think he's sweet because they made him sweet, breaking away from his ruthless savage gangster ways to be with them.

[Mupepe]

get a dick tattoo.  Then you can say "want to see my tattoo?" when she says yes you whip out your dick with the cover of just wanting to show her your new tattoo.  then since it's out she'll be like "might as well suck it" 

[tiesto]

Life wish is to make out to a chill ass Tiesto jam

Ya'll bitch wanna kick it Jackie Chan...

[Raist]

Atra, seriously

aren't you a creative? the creative ones at work getaway with looking like whatever the fuck they want. If I were you I'd get a neck tattoo and a sleeve.

Judging by the girls you like you'd pull allllllll those girls easily

Atra. Hey. Atra. Hey listen.

I think you should start selling crack too. You'll get rich plus them women love dating dangerous boiz.

[BisMarckie]

Tattoos are the stigma of the precariat that they choose to carry themselves.

[Atramental]

Atra, seriously

aren't you a creative? the creative ones at work getaway with looking like whatever the fuck they want. If I were you I'd get a neck tattoo and a sleeve.

Judging by the girls you like you'd pull allllllll those girls easily

I work at a company that’s run by conservative Christians.

The last thing they want is a tattoo’d up artist looking guy representing their company.

Also, all of our clients are conservative baby boomers and sometimes I have to meet them in person.

And design (at least the type of design I do professionally) is not art. It’s highly strategic work that’s geared towards generating sales.


edit: and even though I’m no longer a Christian I can act & look like one pretty fucking well.

[CatsCatsCats]

To be fair, gettin out of that company has sounded like a good idea for you. My understanding is you are severely underpaid. I could get you started at 38k stacking boxes, dooder, you have more skill than that

[BIONIC]

Atra, seriously

aren't you a creative? the creative ones at work getaway with looking like whatever the fuck they want. If I were you I'd get a neck tattoo and a sleeve.

Judging by the girls you like you'd pull allllllll those girls easily

I work at a company that’s run by conservative Christians.

The last thing they want is a tattoo’d up artist looking guy representing their company.

Also, all of our clients are conservative baby boomers and sometimes I have to meet them in person.

And design (at least the type of design I do professionally) is not art. It’s highly strategic work that’s geared towards generating sales.


edit: and even though I’m no longer a Christian I can act & look like one pretty fucking well.

This is the part where you realize this whole time you should’ve been hitting Christian Mingle instead of Tinder 

[Rahxephon91]

Atra, seriously

aren't you a creative? the creative ones at work getaway with looking like whatever the fuck they want. If I were you I'd get a neck tattoo and a sleeve.

Judging by the girls you like you'd pull allllllll those girls easily

Atra. Hey. Atra. Hey listen.

I think you should start selling crack too. You'll get rich plus them women love dating dangerous boiz.

I mean his advice has been pretty great. Whipping your dick out at a show was ace.

[I'm a Puppy!]

To be fair, gettin out of that company has sounded like a good idea for you. My understanding is you are severely underpaid. I could get you started at 38k stacking boxes, dooder, you have more skill than that

But Graphic Design is his passion!

[Assimilate]

Atra, seriously

aren't you a creative? the creative ones at work getaway with looking like whatever the fuck they want. If I were you I'd get a neck tattoo and a sleeve.

Judging by the girls you like you'd pull allllllll those girls easily

Atra. Hey. Atra. Hey listen.

I think you should start selling crack too. You'll get rich plus them women love dating dangerous boiz.

Ok, first shut the fuck. Second, listen,  look at who the guy matches with, and continuously goes after. They tend to be very 'alternative' looking broads. Why not play into that if that is what he likes? Also, if you are going to with a straight bald head like that, clean crisp shave on your noggin, you might as well start getting jacked and putting on tattoos because fat slick balled hair dudes (unless they make serious coin/or are jewish marrying other jewish broads) tend to suffer in the woman department. This is pretty sound observation. Ask anyone.

Atra, seriously

aren't you a creative? the creative ones at work getaway with looking like whatever the fuck they want. If I were you I'd get a neck tattoo and a sleev :hmphe.

Judging by the girls you like you'd pull allllllll those girls easily

Atra. Hey. Atra. Hey listen.

I think you should start selling crack too. You'll get rich plus them women love dating dangerous boiz.

I mean his advice has been pretty great. Whipping your dick out at a show was ace.

Huh? I never fucking said that. I never said pull it out at a show. I'm not an idiot 


 I said pull it out in front of her while she's smoking on the couch and only IF he's carrying a 7incher or above 

This is the part where you realize this whole time you should’ve been hitting Christian Mingle instead of Tinder 

I like this guy 

[Atramental]

 

Now what? 

To be fair, gettin out of that company has sounded like a good idea for you. My understanding is you are severely underpaid. I could get you started at 38k stacking boxes, dooder, you have more skill than that

But Graphic Design is his passion!

It won't be for long if they keep working me like they are now...

[CatsCatsCats]

Smoke, order take out and fuck

[Kara]

Tattoos are the stigma of the precariat that they choose to carry themselves.

FACT CHECK: tattooing has a long history of use by the lumpenproletariat for which they are stigmatized by those within the wage system.