And yet virtually every post you make is this weird collection of Fox News primal screams and cheerleading. I would have dismissed it if not for it following the pattern of literally the last decade plus of you jumping from one obsession to another. Where you become extremely passionate about something on a surface level and it becomes your personality until the next New Thing arrives. In this case it just landed on something I find to be odious. I'm an accountant, so if we were discussing the merits of higher or lower taxes - or monetary policies, or finance etc - I'd be cool with that even if we were in complete disagreement. But the conservative things that animate you tend to boil down to...Q-adjacent delusions (gay/trans stuff is a demonic agenda), immigration and Fox News talking points (inflation). That's corny to me.
Literally in the span of our last few convos on twitter, before my recent return to The Bore, you went from being trans to being a dude focused on performative masculinity and attracting/marrying a submissive woman. What are we doing here fam.
New York City changed me.
I used to have a bleeding heart. It beat hard, vomiting so much red that I could paint with the world with it. I truly care about other people and always have. It's the characteristic that made me a progressive to begin with and yet, surprisingly, is the characteristic that made me conservative. I've realized my heart doesn't have to bleed to beat.
I'm originally from Texas. But then I moved to Brooklyn, NY in the pandemic. Living in Texas and identifying as a Progressive is like living in a bubble. You haven't really had your views battle tested. You can go around prancing about talking about Republicans are wrong without having your viewpoints directly challenged because you do not live in the government or type of environment you crave. So imagine my shock when I finally moved to a blue city in a blue state. At first Ioved it and I felt I was finally home - feet kicked back. But then trouble brewed. Have an opinion that went against left orthodoxy. Everything was framed from some Twitter oriented perspective.
I began to notice a pattern. Post an article by someone a leftist or liberal disagreed with and they'd remind me that oh,"that's written by Glenn Greenwald." It didn't matter what Glenn said in
that particular article or tweet. The person himself was poison and never capable of saying anything of substance. As if an entire person, flesh and blood, and was declared anathema, and never given due diligence no matter how wrong or right he was. The person himself was crossed off. It's not just Glenn Greenwald. I could any assortment of journalists or writers to prove this point.
That's one thing, but the left always takes it further and shames you for daring to share the same opinion or even sharing the article to begin with.
Groups always have a pressure to conform. Even conservatives do in a way. But left politics takes this further because they argue their conformity from a position of morality.
If you're not wearing a mask you're a super spreader. A murderer.
If you're not vaccinated you're a murderer.
If you are vaccinated and think it's important to be but think people should be allowed to choose (me) you're an anti-vaxxer and a murderer by extension.
If you're not vaccinated you earn the right to lose your livelihood.
At the start of this I expressed how much I deeply care about others and it shocked me how the very people that said they care about workers, poor people, and the most vulnerable seemingly didn't.
I learned that liberal moralism isn't about the value of the virtue. It's about control in the guise of safety. New York subways are full of mask signage. One has two umasked people talking with a label reading "worst"; further down two masked riders are chatting and it's labeled "better"; the final two riders aren't talking, they're reading a book or staring at a phone - it's labeled "best." Control. Even the suggestion of wearing masks isn't enough. No, you have to suggest behavior as well even if it's something that has nothing to do with safety. Control.
If you can't tell, I really, really disliked the New Yorker (and therefore Dem) response to Covid. Seeing businesses shuttered because they weren't allowed to be open because they were forced to operate at 20% capacity or be closed for months on end was the first domino in how I started to view Democratic policy. It was a huge contrast because one time I time flew in to Texas for Thanksgiving and we were allowed inside the coffee shop and live life normally and there weren't capacity numbers or being forced to show an ID just to do something normal. I particularly found the disconnect between Dems saying they're pro-worker while also operating on policy like this. It was like a massive case of cognitive dissonance for me.
For months New Yorkers had to show vaccination proof to do things inside despite having mask mandates. But, I thought masks protect and stop the spread? My ex-partner and I couldn't go to the zoo and fully enjoy each other because the zoo insisted that indoor exhibits required vaccination proof. She was unvaccinated. I am vaccinated. We couldn't even go on a coffee shop date because coffee shops would require vaccination proof to sit inside. All of this despite New York City having a vaccination rate of nearly 80% and yet despite that had high numbers during Omicron at the height COVID Theatre. Control.
The left is completely unable to admit when they're wrong even while moralizing about it.
This goes further than the pandemic. My photography mentor on July 4th told me,"we don't celebrate that here" to shame me for going out and take photos of Independence Day. We are both black. Control through peer pressure. Fall in line. As a corollary, I dislike equity and how so much is being given to black and brown people as if we are incapable of working hard.
Look at the new Democrat take on climate change policy. Oh, you can't have the choice of driving a traditional gas-powered car. They have shame you with a full on anti-car perspective even if your livelihood revolves around the very conceit of cars. They force their perspective onto the entire population and enact this with actual policy, limiting options. Progressives in NYC protested to have natural gas removed from new NYC buildings. California has said it will make it illegal to sell fossil fuel cars by the year 2035.
Illegal. Control.
Liberals and progressives routinely strip people of their individuality.
My time in grad school pretty much changed my entire perspective on individualism vs collectivism. The progressives would brow beat and were obsessed with inserting identity politics into every single conversation or solution. You and I talked about this and how this impacts art. It's a big part of my shift: seeing the dangers of collective thought which strips people of their individuality absence their identity.
I moved to Brooklyn because I truly believed in something and had a dream. Lots of liberals told me I'd fail, that there's no hope. I found over and over again how little they believe in themselves much less the American promise. I'd sit gazing at the Brooklyn Bridge in all of its majesty, hopeful of a better life. When I mentioned how the bridge inspired me to fellow progressives and socialists they'd just mention how people died building it in the name of profit. Even symbols don't make them dream harder. They were unable to picture a world without clutching for vials of victimization and never gave a second thought to instead lift themselves up. Yet despite the left cries I got it. I achieved everything I came to New York for. Our country wasn't built on mediocrity, wearing pajamas to work, or excuse making. It was built on grit, sacrifice, and hard work in the hopes of a better life. Given all of their excuse making I question what the left even lives for. Certainly not hope. This is perfectly articulated by the way in which so many black people I know cry about how America lacks opportunity when we have full on immigrants coming here and the next generation becoming huge successes and finding opportunity underneath damn rocks. Through life experience, I became more practical and reasoned to take good points about the system and rather than feel I was owed.
It was a complete change in mindset and it was really rewarding in terms of how I saw myself.
You can see some of that mindset here in this Black Conservative vs Black Liberals video. In NYC I noticed everyone and their mother was overly concerned with being some victim, especially black people. They relished it. Fear was their main modus operandi and highly risk averse despite the fact that reward does not come without risk. Notice that the black conservatives in the video tend to be more well to do, hard working, and positive they can do shit. I just noticed a change in my perspective as I gained confidence in what I was doing versus my peers and their mindset. The liberals in the video are obsessed with victimization. Imagine dealing with that every day. This was extremely true in grad school.
Once I started to notice my mindset change I never really looked back and embraced it. I simply do not think that the liberalism of the Democratic Party is good for our community any longer. End of. You can disagree with that. Liberalism is pacifying and weakens communities. That's my conclusion. Feel free to disagree.
Then there's the actual liberal policies like taxes. Paying all those taxes in NYC when I realized I didn't have to really put me in the low taxes group. Having all that money come out of my check made me feel like a sucker. At the same time I still have views that go against conservative orthodoxy like support for universal healthcare. I'm even willing to pay a higher (high-ER, not necessarily high) tax for it despite hating high taxes. Personally, I do not consider Universal healthcare to even be against conservative thinking or values. Even Japan, a nationalistic and conservative country, has universal healthcare. I just think it's obvious. So I'm still not a Republican partisan either.
I thought I was trans because I was sexually abused and emotionally abused. In my pain, I ended up thinking I wasn't that much of a man. So I reasoned I wasn't one. Detransitioning has been an adventure. By detransitioning I've been learning what it means to be a man. In the process I've hurt a lot of people as I've tried to figure that, including many here. I'm sorry for that. I've been going through therapy for Childhood PTSD and trauma and it's been helping a lot and I've fallen into a confident stride where I no longer feel the need to conform to anyone else's definition of masculinity but myself. In that confidence, I've really gained and embraced a certain self sufficiency. A year ago as I was reeling from the mental fatigue of my traumas I was really mad at women. I've let that anger go, and forgiven the women that hurt me. Letting go of that really helped me a lot.
There's so much to unpack here and I've focused on a lot so these thoughts are scattered. But I haven't even mentioned their stances toward children and gender/sexuality issues. As a detransitioner you should probably picture why I would disagree with children being taught trans ideology. Their distaste for guns and self defense. You can say,"not all Democrats are anti-gun, but the Democratic Party overwhelmingly tend to
trend anti-gun. Their getting in bed with corporations while at the same time wailing about corporate greed. The fact that none of their fiscal ideas work. That they spend billions on social programs with little return or people actually get out of poverty. Over the past year I've talked about how NYC had a huge homeless issue despite the fact we paid 3-4 billion in taxes to help this issue not get solved. The liberals/progressives here gave me opposing viewpoints I simply disagreed with. I greatly dislike how the Democrats misuse
my money especially in programs like that. It seems as if so much of Democratic strategy tends to be the solution of "let's throw money at it" ad nauseum. Democrats, as they are now, make America weak and I do not think leftist policies work.
On the issues:Taxes - Taxes should be low or medium. I even hate Texas' high property taxes.
Medical - Universal healthcare should be a human right. A public option should always be available.
Equity - No.
Abortion - Legal, safe, and rare.
Drug War - End it.
Social Media and first amendment - Let people say what they want.
Guns - Let the people shoot.
Bootstraps - Yes.
Leftists - Ew.
TLDR - Midwest is the American holy land. I considered Michigan but now I'm considering Indiana. After my stint in NYC I never want to live in a city ever again. I've fallen in love with the safety of the suburbs. I still love NYC. I just don't want to live there. I realized that I had become what I always hated: a 2000's Democrat, but that party is dead. I feel without a party. I lean libertarian but that party is crazy and I'm not a pure libertarian either. You could say,"Not all Dems are like this!!!" and that's true, but you can't ignore the overwhelming shift in their policy and rhetoric and they're refusing to back away from it. Look at Beto O'Rourke and his campaign. He campaigns like a Californian in Texas. Even he doesn't back away. A big part of the reason I'm rooting for GOP to rout them is for Dems to backtrack from progressivism.
