Please share your struggle of the day

[I'm a Puppy!]

I just had to advise a grown woman that was having a hard time keeping a guy because she's essentially into three positions in sex and nothing else (can tolerate oral but really nothing beyond that). It was hard not to pull the Chris Rock betamax line, "Damn girl, they still make you?"

[Momo]

$6 a mL?

You drinking fermented panda cum?

http://imgur.com/2oSwY

[I'm a Puppy!]

My guitar skills are such shit right now. I came up with a nice finger-picked riff that I'm kind of proud of, but I'm so out of practice that I can barely play my own composition.

I know that feel.
It's hard because the normal stuff is too easy to hold any of my interest. But I'm good enough to know that the stuff that does interest me would take more work than I'm willing to put in right now.

I used to be great. I used to be incredible.

[I'm a Puppy!]

$6 a mL?

You drinking fermented panda cum?

http://imgur.com/2oSwY

Why do I click? Why do I always click?

 

[El Babua]

My struggle: Refer to my lat two posts in Random Talk Thread

[Shaka Khan]

Helping my dad with computer to fix "that thing that spins when I'm clicking and then nothing no internet but pop up say wait it wants me to click I clicked" over the phone.

[I'm a Puppy!]

My guitar skills are such shit right now. I came up with a nice finger-picked riff that I'm kind of proud of, but I'm so out of practice that I can barely play my own composition.

I know that feel.
It's hard because the normal stuff is too easy to hold any of my interest. But I'm good enough to know that the stuff that does interest me would take more work than I'm willing to put in right now.

I used to be great. I used to be incredible.

Didn't realize you were Ronito until just now.

Yeah, I remember your story about how you surpassed your first guitar teacher in like a year. I never had dat prodigy-level talent, but I was good enough to impress. I'm determined to get it back.

Next spring, my b-school competes against a bunch of other west coast b-schools up at Stanford, and the weekend culminates with a battle of the bands. My goal is for our band to open with Thunderstruck. I'm going to play the intro with 100% picking. I can do it with hammer-ons and pull-offs, but it doesn't sound as good. This is within the realm of possibility for me.

I was never good at picking. I played that intro with my fingers. It was easy that way. But I never got the whole "Thunderstruck with a pick?!" thing. Even with my poor pick skills it's not that bad. Now the solo from One picking each note. That's a challenge.

[I'm a Puppy!]

Does Kirk pick each note?

Nah, he's notoriously lazy. Only picks sometimes.
It's one of those exercises my professor gave me because I looked down at shredders.
(backfired though, now I look down at them even more)

[Van Cruncheon]

 couldn't decide between finishing the bottle of rioja or uncorking a bottle of malbec

[Madrun Badrun]

Go for the fermented panda cum instead.

[Van Cruncheon]

fat polynesian cocks all OVER my face

what IS a boy to do

[Madrun Badrun]

polynesians have an obesity problem and I think its wrong of you to take their fat cocks lightly. 

[I'm a Puppy!]

Just found out that one of my client's CEOs makes as much yearly as my entire multi-national company's entire yearly gross revenue.

 

[Kara]

Just found out that one of my client's CEOs makes as much yearly as my entire multi-national company's entire yearly gross revenue.

 

It's better if you don't go too far down this rabbit hole, trust me. You could end up bemoaning the cancellation of your favorite Hoxhaist newspaper if you don't.

[team filler]

my preferred nfl team lost, I hate my life

[benjipwns]

Stay calm, you're in an enclosed space outnumbered by libertarians, just stick to non-aggression and if things get too dicey just say "assuming we have to have taxes, should we tax land or sales?" and you'll have enough time to make an escape.

[Phoenix Dark]

Being pursued by the same obnoxious chick across three dating sites


She sent me a message on okcupid a few days ago, I made the mistake of replying. It was late at night so I said "well I have to head to bed, work tomorrow. Good night." She responded by saying "I understand, sleep is sleep. Sweet dreams."


I promptly changed my user settings so no one can know when I'm online. A couple days later she liked me on Tinder. Tonight she liked me on another dating site I feel like a fool for using. She seems nice but is 250 pounds or something, and prompts conversations I'm not ready to have right now in my life as a grown adult: she asked me if I believe in magic. I asked if she meant chemistry (not the science, the romantic type). No. Real actual magic. This is what I get for listing Harry Potter on my profile.

[team filler]

 

[Phoenix Dark]

Since I am a buzzed off pumpkin ale I will explain my tinder strategy:

1. Like everyone unless they're posing in pics with other people. If she has friends, parents, etc in her pics she clearly is selling a package deal I don't want to buy.

2. Take a picture of yourself outside. My responses increased 30% once I took a selfie outside.

3. Single mothers either want to fuck or complain about the baby daddy. The best way to check is to say "I'm just chilling how about you." If she says she's chilling too you can smash. If the question prompts a long winded list of complaints, she isn't fucking.

4. Tinder is dominated by white women, which sucks if you're not a white guy. The best way to handle this is by listing white shit in your profile: Kanye West, Jon Krakauer, Hunger Games, etc.

[Kara]

She seems nice but is 250 pounds or something, and prompts conversations I'm not ready to have right now in my life as a grown adult: she asked me if I believe in magic. I asked if she meant chemistry (not the science, the romantic type). No. Real actual magic. This is what I get for listing Harry Potter on my profile.

 

spoiler (click to show/hide)

I wish I could get on Tinder.

Going to have to open ANOTHER support ticket this week.

[close]

[Madrun Badrun]

The best way to handle this is by listing white shit in your profile: Kanye West, Jon Krakauer, Hunger Games, etc.

Harry Potter

[Kara]

But that's what I am.

[Rufus]

Borrow someone's pet then.

[benjipwns]

Prison pen pals.

[Momo]

$6 a mL?

You drinking fermented panda cum?

http://imgur.com/2oSwY

Why do I click? Why do I always click?

 

Personally, I always feel like this Arvie-NSFW tag is challenging me directly. As someone whos seen just about all the fucked up shit the net has to offer I go in thinking "nothing can phase me" and leave feeling " "

[Kara]

Deciding where I should go for Thanksgiving (if anywhere at all) because I have no earthly attachments to speak of and this just sank in while I was taking a piss.

I kind of want to go camping but I'm not really sure someone who has a chronic sleeping problem should go attempt to sleep on the ground for 2-3 nights, even if sleeping under the stars is .

On the other hand, an animal could kill and eat me or I could fall and break my neck or something if I went camping.

I'd say there's always working at a soup kitchen but I've been told that's a desirable day to volunteer your time and I have no wasta at all in that scene.

Maybe I'll just buy a gallon of Wild Turkey bourbon.

[chronovore]

Watched Oblivion finally. Now I’m struggling -- and failing -- not to think about.

[Kara]

insomnia instead of my usual biologically unable to sleep insomnia.

Caffeine ain't got shit on negative feedback loops.

[Rufus]

Ain't that the truth.

[Mupepe]

insomnia instead of my usual biologically unable to sleep insomnia.

Caffeine ain't got shit on negative feedback loops.

I'm sure there's an excel formula to break that.

[Phoenix Dark]

Deciding where I should go for Thanksgiving (if anywhere at all) because I have no earthly attachments to speak of and this just sank in while I was taking a piss.

I kind of want to go camping but I'm not really sure someone who has a chronic sleeping problem should go attempt to sleep on the ground for 2-3 nights, even if sleeping under the stars is .

On the other hand, an animal could kill and eat me or I could fall and break my neck or something if I went camping.

I'd say there's always working at a soup kitchen but I've been told that's a desirable day to volunteer your time and I have no wasta at all in that scene.

Maybe I'll just buy a gallon of Wild Turkey bourbon.

I'll cosign the soup kitchen idea, it's actually a good idea. You can choose your hours, it's not hard, you'll meet some decent folks, etc. I'm not the most social guy and I had a good time doing it a few years ago in Detroit.

I kind of want to skip Thanksgiving dinner, might go to a soup kitchen again.

[Am_I_Anonymous]

My wife is on the no sex kick because I came home late from the browns game yesterday. WTF woman, we are now like 2-19 versus the son of a bitches since the browns came back and a brother can't get no victory sex....damn.

[StealthFan]

Being pursued by the same obnoxious chick across three dating sites


She sent me a message on okcupid a few days ago, I made the mistake of replying. It was late at night so I said "well I have to head to bed, work tomorrow. Good night." She responded by saying "I understand, sleep is sleep. Sweet dreams."


I promptly changed my user settings so no one can know when I'm online. A couple days later she liked me on Tinder. Tonight she liked me on another dating site I feel like a fool for using. She seems nice but is 250 pounds or something, and prompts conversations I'm not ready to have right now in my life as a grown adult: she asked me if I believe in magic. I asked if she meant chemistry (not the science, the romantic type). No. Real actual magic. This is what I get for listing Harry Potter on my profile.

: Having standards ass nicca. You better hit that.

[Phoenix Dark]

Damn my homie had similar issues every time we went to Buffalo Wild Wings to watch NCAA tournament games. She was even texting me asking if he was talking to other girls. In 99% of cases I wouldn't betray a friend - I've done it before, but in both cases it was pretty dire shit that needed to be addressed. This dude is the most clean cut, faithful, cream corn black regular mother fucker I know (outside of myself of course), he'd piss his pants before cheating. And his gf drove him away with all that jealousy bullshit. They broke up and he hasn't been the same since.

[Am_I_Anonymous]

Damn my homie had similar issues every time we went to Buffalo Wild Wings to watch NCAA tournament games. She was even texting me asking if he was talking to other girls. In 99% of cases I wouldn't betray a friend - I've done it before, but in both cases it was pretty dire shit that needed to be addressed. This dude is the most clean cut, faithful, cream corn black regular mother fucker I know (outside of myself of course), he'd piss his pants before cheating. And his gf drove him away with all that jealousy bullshit. They broke up and he hasn't been the same since.

I dated a girl like that in college. She use to come over and basically accuse me of fucking every girl on campus. Once she came over and I was studying with 3 dudes and one girl from my class and she just started ripping on the poor girl who was there for no reason. I had to punt that bitch after that shit.

Thanks god this was pre cell phones because I promise she is now that serial texter type that gets pissed off if you don't respond within 2 minutes.

[Tasty]

Came up with a great idea for a Friday 13th sequel but it'll never be made.

[Am_I_Anonymous]

Came up with a great idea for a Friday 13th sequel but it'll never be made.

hmmm....Jason somehow comes back to life and kills a bunch of bitch niccas? Brilliant.

[Phoenix Dark]

Why be in a relationship if you don't trust your partner? I understand having reservations about certain things - it's natural. But if you can't trust your SO to go chill with the fellas, study with someone of the opposite sex, etc...you lost.

I hang with some pretty regular folks. We don't really chase after chicks, we're not going to strip clubs regularly, we don't really fuck around at bars much...pretty laid back chill shit. Now if a wife or gf was concerned about you hanging with a BAD group of guys sure, I understand.

[Am_I_Anonymous]

Why be in a relationship if you don't trust your partner? I understand having reservations about certain things - it's natural. But if you can't trust your SO to go chill with the fellas, study with someone of the opposite sex, etc...you lost.

I hang with some pretty regular folks. We don't really chase after chicks, we're not going to strip clubs regularly, we don't really fuck around at bars much...pretty laid back chill shit. Now if a wife or gf was concerned about you hanging with a BAD group of guys sure, I understand.

My wife is awesome...she likes or tolerates most of my friends. The only one she doesn't really care for is the serial playa in the group. Who usually ends of getting in a fight or needing a ride home from a girl's house late at night. She hates it when I help him out and I can see why.

[Tasty]

Came up with a great idea for a Friday 13th sequel but it'll never be made.

hmmm....Jason somehow comes back to life and kills a bunch of bitch niccas? Brilliant.

It would have started with a town already completely rekt and a hardboiled buddy cop team show up after the fact and are basically on the run from Jason the whole time.

[Am_I_Anonymous]

Came up with a great idea for a Friday 13th sequel but it'll never be made.

hmmm....Jason somehow comes back to life and kills a bunch of bitch niccas? Brilliant.

It would have started with a town already completely rekt and a hardboiled buddy cop team show up after the fact and are basically on the run from Jason the whole time.

Get Sam and Dean from Supernatural and that shit sells, fo sho.

[Phoenix Dark]

Yea that's more understandable IMO. I forgot to ask, did you tell her you were staying out late or did it just happen? Still trust is earned and if you've earned it, she or he has to respect it nahmean.

[Am_I_Anonymous]

Yea that's more understandable IMO. I forgot to ask, did you tell her you were staying out late or did it just happen? Still trust is earned and if you've earned it, she or he has to respect it nahmean.

I didn't tell her. But you'd think after..oh...a shit ton of years of marriage she'd allow me to have a good time. I mean she isn't straight bitching about it, but the passive aggressive "I'm too tired, hmmmppphhhh" bullshit is always a moment for me.

[Phoenix Dark]

well next time she wants you to fix something around the house you know what to say.

"I'm too tired...maybe I'll do it tomorrow"

[Phoenix Dark]

Dealing with a coworker who hovers around sexual harassment territory. He's like a GAFer in the sense that he thinks any female interaction=flirting. I've mentioned some of his shit before, but today he has been saying distinguished mentally-challenged shit in earshot.

distinguished mentally-challenged fellow: 3 of my cats have died over the last decade
female intern: ohhh that's so sad. what were their names
distinguished mentally-challenged fellow: Adie. I name all my cats Adie
female intern: that's so weird, why 
distinguished mentally-challenged fellow: because it's my favorite name. If we had a kid we'd name it Adie whether it was a boy or girl
female intern:    ....   ohh

He has asked her out to dinner a couple times in weird ways. Honestly she gets a lot of attention and I know dudes stare at her but this guy goes right up to the harassment line and winks at it. She probably won't say shit because she wants the job.

[I'm a Puppy!]

I once had to fire a guy like that but he took it to the next level.
He plastered a client's cubicle with all these hand made butterflies and had left a several page long poem professing his love for her.
Dude's interaction with the woman came down to  ONE meeting where there were like a dozen attendees.

[I'm a Puppy!]

Does Kirk pick each note?

Nah, he's notoriously lazy. Only picks sometimes.
It's one of those exercises my professor gave me because I looked down at shredders.
(backfired though, now I look down at them even more)

"I'm pretty shit with a pick. Btw, my professor told me to pick the entire solo from One, and it made me respect shredders less."

I mean there's humblebragging, and then there's this.

if I can do it anyone can. All it'll take is practice and time. Not talent.

[team filler]

But that's what I am.

FRIENDLESS PSYCHO BROS!

[Brehvolution]

I once had to fire a guy like that but he took it to the next level.
He plastered a client's cubicle with all these hand made butterflies and had left a several page long poem professing his love for her.
Dude's interaction with the woman came down to  ONE meeting where there were like a dozen attendees.

 

[Brehvolution]

Watched Oblivion finally. Now I’m struggling -- and failing -- not to think about.

It's a good movie to watch twice. You catch the subtleties you missed the first time.

[Phoenix Dark]

I once had to fire a guy like that but he took it to the next level.
He plastered a client's cubicle with all these hand made butterflies and had left a several page long poem professing his love for her.
Dude's interaction with the woman came down to  ONE meeting where there were like a dozen attendees.

 

Actually it's never the fat neckbeard in my experience; they seem too shook to do or say anything. It's always the skinny guy with a pot belly because he doesn't eat enough to get truly fat, but also has a good enough metabolism to avoid gaining fat in his face or appendages. Scrubby facial hair, nervous eyes...the type of guy who looks like he's one makeover away from looking normal.

[Brehvolution]

I once had to fire a guy like that but he took it to the next level.
He plastered a client's cubicle with all these hand made butterflies and had left a several page long poem professing his love for her.
Dude's interaction with the woman came down to  ONE meeting where there were like a dozen attendees.

 

Actually it's never the fat neckbeard in my experience; they seem too shook to do or say anything. It's always the skinny guy with a pot belly because he doesn't eat enough to get truly fat, but also has a good enough metabolism to avoid gaining fat in his face or appendage. Scrubby facial hair, nervous eyes...the type of guy who looks like he's one makeover away from looking normal.

Straight up stalker. He probably scared the shit out of her.

[Steve Contra]

I had to read this posted to a friend's wall who's an epidemiologist today after he told everyone to get a flu shot:

 I have question though __ I live fairly remotely and my kids are homeschooled (and properly vaccinated) -- I make homemade vitamins with elderberry and we don't ever get the flu (kids have never even been sick)-- and, the one year I actually did get a flu shot I got the flu so bad I ended up with pneumonia!! My husband travels a lot and he gets them. Would you still say that I and my kids "should" get the shot?

 

[Phoenix Dark]

#NotAllHomeschoolers

[Steve Contra]

The anti-vaccination thing is this amazing confluence of right wing homeschool nuts and left wing new age nuts.  It's the perfect combination of stupid to kill lots of people.

[I'm a Puppy!]

I once had to fire a guy like that but he took it to the next level.
He plastered a client's cubicle with all these hand made butterflies and had left a several page long poem professing his love for her.
Dude's interaction with the woman came down to  ONE meeting where there were like a dozen attendees.

 

Actually it's never the fat neckbeard in my experience; they seem too shook to do or say anything. It's always the skinny guy with a pot belly because he doesn't eat enough to get truly fat, but also has a good enough metabolism to avoid gaining fat in his face or appendage. Scrubby facial hair, nervous eyes...the type of guy who looks like he's one makeover away from looking normal.

Straight up stalker. He probably scared the shit out of her.

Oh yeah that was a great day.  Show up to work and have an executive and three guys from security waiting at your cubicle to have a "discussion" with you about one of your employees.  Lady was freaked out (as she totally should've been). I couldn't fire that guy fast enough.

[Kara]

I'll cosign the soup kitchen idea, it's actually a good idea. You can choose your hours, it's not hard, you'll meet some decent folks, etc. I'm not the most social guy and I had a good time doing it a few years ago in Detroit.

I kind of want to skip Thanksgiving dinner, might go to a soup kitchen again.

It's my #1 choice but as I said, I doubt there will be space for me on the volunteer rolls.

If the commune vacates the premises for even a day, I think I'm going to clean the commune thoroughly. The filth is kind of getting to me in communal spaces, tbh.

RE: another conversation chain itt.

The only partners I've ever had who couldn't trust me were the ones who were two-timers themselves.

Project your failings onto others y'all.

(No implications meant for other people discussed in the course of this conversation chain, only certain kinds of people form a relationship with me and they're hardly representative of anything at large.)

[Human Snorenado]

Can't figure out what to be for Halloween, probably just gonna be fat middle aged Charlie Brown again

[Phoenix Dark]

Can't figure out what to be for Halloween, probably just gonna be fat middle aged Charlie Brown again

Louie CK.

[Human Snorenado]

Can't figure out what to be for Halloween, probably just gonna be fat middle aged Charlie Brown again

Louie CK.

Would have to shave my beard, plus it would be another reminder I'm not as funny as he is.

...I could just go as Brian Posehn, tho

vs.