Official 2010 Academy Awards thread of downward spiral into irrelevancy

[The Fake Shemp]

I think the fact that Avatar has zero nominations in any of the acting or writing fields show you the critical consensus: it's not a very good film.

I mean - hell! - Sandra Bullock even grabbed an Oscar nomination for The Blind Side. Avatar couldn't beat that?

I think what you're seeing is that people have really been entertained by the spectacle, but the fundamentals of what truly make a Best Picture are absent. If that wasn't the case, you wouldn't have all my cherry picked positive reviews from established critics citing screenplaying/acting problems, and you'd see an original screenplay nomination or even a supporting actor nomination.

[Mandark]

For Most Likeable and Lively Performance in a Non-Stock Character Role:  The Nerdy Scientist, Avatar

[AdmiralViscen]

Avatar still would have been nominated in a field of five.

What I'm seeing a lot of here is "critical opinion doesn't matter, but my opinion does."

Why don't you tell us how you really feel?

[brawndolicious]

ITT, Willco dismisses the credibility of an entire board of critics and industry professionals because they liked a movie he didn't. 

Well willco already mentioned several times that in a lot of those reviews, the text contradicts the final score.  But I'll just remind you that:

1) Nobody gives a fuck about a movie review.  People care about the score on the bottom and the publisher of the review (ie:People magazine vs The New Yorker).  About the score on the review....

2) The score on a movie review is the stupidest most dumbshit way to compare any movies.  It means nothing.  There's no specific difference between a 3/5 or a 4/5.  It's such a subjective way to compare two movies. that some people assume it's objective.

[The Fake Shemp]

I don't understand the shock. The inclusion of 5 more nominations was obviously to cram in some blockbusters that have no chance of winning, not nominate the next best 5 movies of the year. The Blind Side won't win, but Ma and Pa have seen it and sure liked it. Maybe they'll actually tune in.

I don't think anyone is as shocked, it's more like a sense of disappointment. It's like seeing a family member get out of jail, and you hope they clean their act up - only to disappoint you by stealing money from your wallet to buy drugs. You may have expected it, but it doesn't make it any less heartbreaking.

But you're exactly right, the field has been expanded to entice people to watch the ceremony with mainstream nominations. I personally think it's kind of sad, because think of all the great films people would not have seen had it not been from the exposure at the Academy Awards (which have turned limited runs into nationwide expansions). By turning it into another Golden Globes, the industry is just simply reinforcing uneducated viewers that nothing really exists outside their local cineplex.

[The Fake Shemp]

WTF? How does A prove B? Did you ever take a logic class in your life, or even read about logic on the internet? 

You're just flailing mindlessly at this point.

Yeah, because it's not like strong performances and excellent writing are fundamental elements of what usually constitutes a Best Picture nomination. You want Avatar to receive its nomination on spectacle alone, by simply ignoring what makes a good movie.

If that's the case, instead of trying to fit a round peg in a square hole, I recommend that you campaign the Academy to create a Best Amusement Park Ride-like Movie category. I think that would satisfy your desire to use other people's opinions to justify your zealotry, and then it wouldn't make the Best Picture category look like such a joke.

[Mandark]

As opposed to "Everyone should defer to critics when they agree with me."  Honkey please, we remember you whinging when Entourage (!!!) got left off a Best TV of the Decade list.

That was one website's list, not an overwhelming consensus of critics and audiences.

So Titanic...?

[The Fake Shemp]

I really hope nerdy scientist beats out velociraptors for the Special Achievement Award this year.

[Cormacaroni]

For Most Likeable and Lively Performance in a Non-Stock Character Role:  The Nerdy Scientist, Avatar

[Barry Egan]

For Most Likeable and Lively Performance in a Non-Stock Character Role:  The Nerdy Scientist, Avatar

[Mandark]

This is like the time Green Shinobi said Bruce Wayne should be awarded the John Bates Clark Medal, and recursivelyenumerable explained that 1) he's a fictional character, and 2) the award is for economists.  Then GS said "I guess you think you're better than Batman!  Besides, he's really rich and that has to do with economics."


Or the time he said he wouldn't consume meat after seeing Babe 2: Pig In the City, and demanded that PETA award him a Proggy.  He was disqualified for eating rabbit, which he said Malek told him "was some kind of really complex fungus and shit."

[The Fake Shemp]

I remember that

[Barry Egan]

"Besides, he's really rich and that has to do with economics."

[brawndolicious]

Are you saying that Avatar should be nominated for the Best Picture category based on it's cinematography alone?

[The Fake Shemp]

What areas of importance - ones that determine if a film is truly worthy of being labelled a classic - did the critics felt Avatar succeeded in? It's obviously not writing. Or acting. I'm pretty sure Best Sense of Awe and Wonder is not an actual category.

The whole discussion is irrelevant, because the additions of District 9 and The Blind Side have rendered the argument moot. Avatar is just one of three films that were nominated to humor the lowest common denominator. I congratulate you, Glen, for your success in lowering cinema standards for future generations.

[Flannel Boy]

I congratulate you, Glen, for your success in lowering cinema standards for future generations.

Now we see the problem. You wanted to be the one to lower cinema standards with Candy Land the Motion Picture.

[Howard Alan Treesong]

and the award for Most Delicious Looking Cinematography goes to ... Brett Ratner! for Candy Land: The Motion Picture!

[ToxicAdam]

Are you saying that Avatar should be nominated for the Best Picture category based on it's cinematography alone?

It's why English Patient won.

[Phoenix Dark]

I congratulate you, Glen, for your success in lowering cinema standards for future generations.

Now we see the problem. You wanted to be the one to lower cinema standards with Candy Land the Motion Picture.

In revolutionary 3D. Eat the glasses and be transported to a new world  

[The Fake Shemp]

Actually, Candy Land is just a leaping pad for what I was really hoping would lower cinema standards - Peggle: The Movie (soundtrack by Owl City).

[Howard Alan Treesong]

Candy Land is 4D

taste is the fourth dimension

that's actually the tagline

[The Fake Shemp]

 

[Flannel Boy]

Only possible on the PS3

[The Fake Shemp]

That's better that studio-proposed tagline of "EAT THE FUTURE"

[Ichirou]

That's better that studio-proposed tagline of "EAT THE FUTURE"

TASTE IS THE FOURTH DIMENSION

omg I'm dying here

[Howard Alan Treesong]

What areas of importance - ones that determine if a film is truly worthy of being labelled a classic - did the critics felt Avatar succeeded in? It's obviously not writing. Or acting. I'm pretty sure Best Sense of Awe and Wonder is not an actual category.

Since Cameron got a Best Director nomination, I'm guessing directing ins one of them.

that was a pity nom, so he doesn't hate-kill his ex-wife before she has a chance to win

the academy knows how Jim thinks

[The Fake Shemp]

Since Cameron got a Best Director nomination, I'm guessing directing is one of them.

Every argument for Cameron's nomination has been for technical merits, for which there are already categories for. I already voiced my opinion that he did an excellent job with production duties and camerawork, but an essential part of a director's job is, y'know, directing the actors - none of which I see any nominations for

Again, if the bar for Best Picture is now well-directed tentpole flicks, I think we should merge the Oscars with the MTV Movie Awards and get this over with already. I want to start plugging Candy Land while the project is hot.

[The Fake Shemp]

I have never seen Avatar, but I did see Pocahontas. Does that count?

[Ichirou]

I heard from AICN that Josh Hartnett is eyeing the lead in Candy Land.  He wants some of that Shia LaBeaouf/Jake Gyllenhaal buzz.

[The Fake Shemp]

Too bad for Josh Hartnett, because I'm leaning towards Nerdy Scientist.

[Phoenix Dark]

I heard Dakota Fanning might get a roll 

[The Fake Shemp]

Right now we're trying to hammer down a director. It's either going to be Brett Ratner or Stephen Sommers. I kind of wish we could have both.

I'm sure Federman would love to give Dakota Fanning a roll.

I was saving that character for you:

[Ichirou]

Lindsay Lohan offered to blow Willco in exchange for a role in the movie, but he played a trick on her, blindfolded her, and had her blow Kosma instead.

And now Kosma has herpes.

[Howard Alan Treesong]

Cara-Mel Gibson

and

Jennifer Lo-PEZ

in

Candy Land: The Motion Picture

This Summer...

When all is lost...

And it seems no one can save us...

spoiler (click to show/hide)

The Candy Man Can^TM

[close]

[The Fake Shemp]

Actually, since they both have herpes, the result was all life stopping instantaneously and every molecule in Kosma's body exploding at the speed of light.

[Great Rumbler]

I'm sure Federman would love to give Dakota Fanning a roll.

Princess Loli   

spoiler (click to show/hide)

Demi for Gramma Nut.

[close]

[Ichirou]

B-Fed, you ever think about casting yourself in Candyland as a Fudge Packer?

Awesome.  GS has been reduced to tossing around gay slurs.

[The Fake Shemp]

This is THE BORE. That's not a gay slur here, I'm pretty sure that's his way of hitting on me.  I should have known when he nailed that fat chick.

[The Fake Shemp]

I really hope James Cameron wins Best Actor.*

spoiler (click to show/hide)

*For pretending that Avatar was an original idea.

[close]

[Ichirou]

You just feel that way because nobody wants to engage in serious discussion with you.  People just enjoy mocking you.

I'm going to put you on ignore again.  Every single one of your posts is absolutely worthless, even the humor value has just about run out.

[Flannel Boy]

When I finally see Candy Cane Forest and Gum Drop Mountain on the big screen, I will be filled with a sense of wonder, adventure, and exploration.

[The Fake Shemp]

You will also be filled with candy.

[The Fake Shemp]

... How did you put him on ignore for two days when you're still reading/quoting his posts?

[Mandark]

When I finally see Candy Cane Forest and Gum Drop Mountain on the big screen, I will be filled with a sense of wonder, adventure, and exploration.

The behavior of old people proves that these are universal yearnings, like the ineffable pull of Florida when you feel your life force fading from your body.

[Cormacaroni]

Quoting someone you have on Ignore?

And the award for Best Technical Accomplishment in an Online Drama goes to...

[The Fake Shemp]

... Nerdy Scientist?

[Ichirou]

Green Shinobi self-annihilated yet again.  What a goof.

[Flannel Boy]

This reminds me of the time GS claimed to have Patel on ignore while still continuing to argue with him in The Return of the King thread! 

[The Fake Shemp]

Good job, Cohen. You've now indirectly insulted every member of Academy.

[Ichirou]

This reminds me of the time GS claimed to have Patel on ignore while still continuing to argue with him in The Return of the King thread! 

I remember that.  Fucking epic ownage!

[The Fake Shemp]

This reminds me of the time GS claimed to have Patel on ignore while still continuing to argue with him in The Return of the King thread! 

[Ichirou]

One good thing about having Green Shinobi around - it's like Shake never left (and never graduated high school).

[Flannel Boy]

The Shake championed Borat and The Departed, both of which are vastly superior to Avatar.

[Ichirou]

The Shake championed Borat and The Departed, both of which are vastly superior to Avatar.

True that.  Shake has pretty awesome movie tastes.  I just meant GS and Shake are similar in the constantly getting owned over movies sense.

[brawndolicious]

I think master shake was more likely to roll with the trolls.  I can't remember him getting really upset whenever somebody said he had a shitty opinion.

And is anybody else on The Black Stallion's ignore list?  Does that even make sense if he doesn't post here anymore?

[Ichirou]

Whatever happened to that guy?

[The Fake Shemp]

Run out of town.

[Raban]

One good thing about having Green Shinobi around - it's like Shake never left (and never graduated high school).

Having you around is like having two Powerslaves!

What? Ichi is like 10 times better than Powerslave.

[Ichirou]

I remember the same thing happened to him on GAF years ago.  Some admin changed his nickname to The Black Gelding.

[The Fake Shemp]

I think you've learned a valuable lesson about editing thread titles, Glen!