To those in relationships, why do you remain with that person?

[futami]

Here you are, entering the prime of your lives, and you're remaining with just one person. Why? Why sacrifice the variety, the possibility of something greater, to pusue a romanticized ideal?

You've never walked by a girl you're attracted to, wondering just what exists in that mind of hers? The personality, the intelligence, the chance that she unlocks something in you that your current partner doesn't.

I'm of the mind that people who submit to monogamy are those who fret at the thought of being alone.

[Mupepe]

well if someone is staying in a relationship to purse some sort of romantic ideal, they're in it for all the wrong reasons. 

a relationship is simply a partnership in life.  it's someone to help you get through it.  it's not some love novel about finding "the one".

[futami]

yeah, but you have just one life.

why not look at it as a journey, one that will see you come across multiple partners who contribute to the growth that occurs before you pass on into the afterlife?

[Mupepe]

yeah, but you have just one life.

why not look at it as a journey, one that will see you come across multiple partners who contribute to the grow that occurs before you pass on into the afterlife?

i never said that you didn't have more than one.  you go through various stages in life.  some people are able to stay with one person for life if they grow together and develop the same way as a person.  most are not able to do that though

[FlameOfCallandor]

She makes me happy.

[demi]

She makes me happy.

BUT YOU DONT MAKE HER, HEY-YO bad in bed nibble on dem toenails

[futami]

ok? ice cream makes you happy. doesn't mean you're going to eat ice cream all the time.

it's about flavor.

variety.

there are varying grades of happiness to be realized, and you can only find that by having relations with various people.

you can't achieve that happiness with one person.

and when you break up or divorce one another, you'll wonder why you passed on those other females you were attracted to.

honestly, i think it reeks of desperation.

*shrug*

it says, damn, i can't get anyone else, so i'll just stay with this one girl/boy.

[FlameOfCallandor]

They don't make different flavors of my girlfriend.

[FlameOfCallandor]

*shrug*

it says, damn, i can't get anyone else, so i'll just stay with this one girl/boy.

You do realize that, for the most part, human civiliztion has been this way for thousands of years.

I doubt you are turning over any new stones.

[Howard Alan Treesong]

I have difficulty being shallow enough to live your lifestyle. Also, my jeans aren't expensive enough to pull in the ladies.

[The Fake Shemp]

Patel is a pretty snazzy dresser, though!

[littlemathletics]

Being ina committed relationship is the most challenging and rewarding I have ever done.  I guess I could have fled at the slightest sign of trouble and found someone else but then I certainly wouldn't be as happy as I am now.

Exactly. You're making it sound like being in a relationship is the easy way out, Futami, and people like you out there chasing freash meat are the ones doing it hard. Fuck that - that's the easy bit. Staying with someone for two, three, four, etc. years is fucking difficult, but it's worth all the shitty bits if you can actually do it with someone worthwhile and make it work.

[futami]

Being ina committed relationship is the most challenging and rewarding I have ever done.  I guess I could have fled at the slightest sign of trouble and found someone else but then I certainly wouldn't be as happy as I am now.

Exactly. You're making it sound like being in a relationship is the easy way out, Futami, and people like you out there chasing freash meat are the ones doing it hard. Fuck that - that's the easy bit. Staying with someone for two, three, four, etc. years is fucking difficult, but it's worth all the shitty bits if you can actually do it with someone worthwhile and make it work.

sorry.

i don't want to be with just that one person for four years. where is it written that we HAVE to be with just that one person? why can't we be with not only her, but a few others who embody various other qualities that can't be found in her? that's exactly what i'm talking about.

the idea that your girlfriend comes in just one flavor is corny and misses the point.

[Howard Alan Treesong]

and i think there's pieces of me that you've never seen
maybe she's just pieces of me that you've never seen

[littlemathletics]

sorry.

i don't want to be with just that one person for four years. where is it written that we HAVE to be with just that one person? why can't we be with not only her, but a few others who embody various other qualities that can't be found in her? that's exactly what i'm talking about.

the idea that your girlfriend comes in just one flavor is corny and misses the point.

Because polygamists are really creepy?

[Howard Alan Treesong]

I think that futami's reasoning makes a lot more sense if you remember that the girls he "dates" are shallow club sluts with no personality, interests, or redeeming qualities besides a quarter-bouncingly tight ass.

I doubt that I could stand them for more than 3 weeks, either.

[FlameOfCallandor]

I think that futami's reasoning makes a lot more sense if you remember that the girls he "dates" are shallow club sluts with no personality, interests, or redeeming qualities besides a quarter-bouncingly tight ass.

I doubt that I could stand them for more than 3 weeks, either.

This is a good point.

[Ecrofirt]

I don't feel the need to deeply discuss my personal reasoning with someone who couldn't possibly understand it anyway.

Suffice to say, the easiest way to put it is that Nikki completes me in every way I can possibly imagine.

[futami]

I think that futami's reasoning makes a lot more sense if you remember that the girls he "dates" are shallow club sluts with no personality, interests, or redeeming qualities besides a quarter-bouncingly tight ass.

I doubt that I could stand them for more than 3 weeks, either.

not sure who this is, but you know nothing about females i date.

i've dated lawyers, doctors, dancers (modern) etc.

not sure where one got the impression i pursue materialistic females.

i can't stand vapid females.

[futami]

I don't feel the need to deeply discuss my personal reasoning with someone who couldn't possibly understand it anyway.

Suffice to say, the easiest way to put it is that Nikki completes me in every way I can possibly imagine.

 

it's really pathetic.

[Saint Cornelius]

That's cute, people arguing with Futami.

[FlameOfCallandor]

i've dated lawyers, doctors, dancers (modern) etc.

nicca please!

[futami]

i've dated lawyers, doctors, dancers (modern) etc.

nicca please!

i've dated lawyers and doctors.

why is that hard to believe?

lawyers and doctors do go out to night clubs.

shock and awe.

[FlameOfCallandor]

Just cause they dress up like lawyers and docters for bangbros.com doesnt mean they are really lawyers or doctors.

[The Fake Shemp]

 

[Ecrofirt]

futami seems to me like he'd be a great slump buster for said doctors and lawyers.

[Saint Cornelius]

futami seems to me like he's a buster

for great justice.

[futami]

Just cause they dress up like lawyers and docters for bangbros.com doesnt mean they are really lawyers or doctors.

lawyers and doctors do go out to night clubs.

shock and awe.

but i wouldn't expect you, a unattractive and unsophisticated dunce, to understand the nightlife.

the idea that nightclubs are frequented only by vapid sluts who work at nail salons is one bandied by the type of person has little experience with females.

naturally, it follows that you WOULD commit to just one female.

you're the type to do so.

[Van Cruncheon]

why not? i hated dating, and i'm really don't feel the urge to share my seed with every potential mate out there. i didn't enjoy it when i was doing it, and now that i'm married, i have a clear excuse for not doing it. the rest of my life is far more interesting and my wife is a great partner to have in this little journey.

[Saint Cornelius]

There's no way Fufu has ever made a penis / vagina interface. Penis / penis? For sure. Penis / vagina? No. Maybe he tripped and fell into his moms' lap once or thousands of times, but...

[GilloD]

I liked dating. I was never much of a monogamist. But you know how they say like, "Oh, you'll know". It's true. I can say with a startling certainty that this is it. I can't really elaborate on it, it's just a fact of nature.

[futami]

I liked dating. I was never much of a monogamist. But you know how they say like, "Oh, you'll know". It's true. I can say with a startling certainty that this is it. I can't really elaborate on it, it's just a fact of nature.

you're saying that you know when someone is the love of your life?

[tiesto]

I date a lot because I haven't really found anybody that has totally swept me off my feet... and I haven't really found any girl who likes me that much aside from a few uggos or people with very limited compatibility

I met a nice girl named Kathleen who I like a whole ton - she loves museums, is an amateur pilot, listens to the same kind of music I do, doesn't mind games and even owns an Xbox 1, has a friendly personality and seems open to doing new things. Only problems are she lives kinda far from me (practically around the corner from the Hamptons), and she's frequently busy and really hard to get in touch with, like she wants to hang out once every 3 weeks.

Maybe I'll meet some chicks when I go to see Armin in 2 weeks.

[BobbyRobby]

At this point in my life, I totally agree with futami.  I can't see myself being exclusive.  Even when there's a girl I really think I like, I get kind of bored after sleeping with them, and start thinking of ways to bail out and pursue a new girl.

It sucks, since I really want to have kids someday, but don't know if I'll ever feel content with a single girl.

[futami]

At this point in my life, I totally agree with futami.  I can't see myself being exclusive.  Even when there's a girl I really think I like, I get kind of bored after sleeping with them, and start thinking of ways to bail out and pursue a new girl.

It sucks, since I really want to have kids someday, but don't know if I'll ever feel content with a single girl.

well, i'm a little different in that i'm not looking to just bail on these females.

i do want to form relationships with them, but i make it clear to them that monogamy isn't something i'm after.

i think a lot of people -- some of them here, obviously -- have convinced themselves that one person in this world is the only individual they can be with.

there's something decidedly warped about that, bordering on psychotic obsession.

for such a short life, on a planet teeming with billions of people, you're missing out on the possibility of finding something else with another woman/man.

[FlameOfCallandor]

My goal is to have a child in every state.

[Howard Alan Treesong]

"slump buster" would be an awesome tag

[futami]

i don't consider them my girlfriends, dcharlie.

they're my journey-partners.

the ones i encounter as i navigate the uncharted waters of my existence.

admittedly, i do have a difficult time keeping those girls i attempt to maintain a committed relationship with, mainly because i CAN'T look the other way when i meet a girl that i'm attracted to.

and i happen to be of the mind that it takes a considerably shorter period of time to know if someone you've met has that special key that will unlock another facet of your "self."

[Howard Alan Treesong]

At this point in my life, I totally agree with futami.  I can't see myself being exclusive.  Even when there's a girl I really think I like, I get kind of bored after sleeping with them, and start thinking of ways to bail out and pursue a new girl.

It sucks, since I really want to have kids someday, but don't know if I'll ever feel content with a single girl.

well, i'm a little different in that i'm not looking to just bail on these females.

So what you're saying is your relentless string of serial short-term relationships isn't by choice? 

[Fresh Prince]

Oh this is easy:

Here you are, entering the prime of your lives, and you continue to play the field. Why? Why sacrifice the stability, the possibility of something greater, to pursue a boyish ideal?

You've never just fucked a girl you're attracted to, wondering if their something deeper in that mind of hers? The personality, the intelligence, the chance that she unlocks something in you further on in your relationship.

I'm of the mind that people who submit to pologamy are those who fret at the thought of being alone.

[Beezy]

sorry.

i don't want to be with just that one person for four years. where is it written that we HAVE to be with just that one person? why can't we be with not only her, but a few others who embody various other qualities that can't be found in her? that's exactly what i'm talking about.

the idea that your girlfriend comes in just one flavor is corny and misses the point.

So you want to be with more than one chick at once. You wouldn't mind if some chick that you were with felt the same way?

[futami]

sorry.

i don't want to be with just that one person for four years. where is it written that we HAVE to be with just that one person? why can't we be with not only her, but a few others who embody various other qualities that can't be found in her? that's exactly what i'm talking about.

the idea that your girlfriend comes in just one flavor is corny and misses the point.

So you want to be with more than one chick at once. You wouldn't mind if some chick that you were with felt the same way?

no. i'd encourage it.

you wouldn't feel jealousy.

no fights about who she/he might be seeing.

you're left to focus on the important things rather than being preoccupied with fidelity.

[Beezy]

Have you been in a situation like that before?

[futami]

Great - we got to the point where i thought this would get to.

I have a friend who used to have the same patter as you Fu.
He went on and on and on about why i was in a long term relationship whilst he had this open minded thing going on.
It didn`t bother me at all, he was happy, i was happy, but for some reason the fact that I was in a relationship bugged him.

Anyways, eventually he met this amazingly stunning looking girl - i mean, just incredible. Witty, quite bright, beautiful - had the same outlook on life as him (totally open relationships etc)...

the big issue here is , there is somewhat of a trap...
He fell for her and slowly wanted to go on that part of the journey you are talking about.
They got married - and everything seemed to be fine... but it wasn`t...
Her journey wasn`t still going to go on - and as the sex in the marriage got more and more boring, then she started sleeping with other people...

obviously my friend did the same, but then she started coming home later...
then she wouldn`t come home on certain nights...
and then she just didn`t come home at all...

Her journey had clearly taken her somewhere else - and that one person he`d been looking for to "unlock that something" was gone.
And now, ironically, he`s spent the rest of his life hoping she`d one day show back up - lost interest in women....


Given that you and this guy are thinking on the same lines, do you not fear that someone who might be using you for the awesome sex might not be revealing anything true about themselves to you? that the person you`ll inevitably end up liking could well be on a REAL life journey with someone else and they are basically lying to you? And the person ultimately best suited to you (a sort of female equivalent to you) could potentially be hazardous if you were to hook up?

Also - another question - are you interested in having any children Fu?
And if so , i assume it would be okay if the child that you`re Life Partner has isn`t yours?

how are he and i on the same wavelength?

i would _never_ get married, first of all.

and you neglect to recall that i said journey-partners.

at least, i think that's what i said.

stressing the plural.

his mistake was falling in love with just her.

i believe that we can fall in love, at once, with multiple people.

[brawndolicious]

if you care for these supposed "journey-partners" then how come you won't use protection during sex or even get an AIDS test?

[etiolate]

Why sacrifice the variety, the possibility of something greater,

+

to pusue a romanticized ideal?

=

[futami]

if you care for these supposed "journey-partners" then how come you won't use protection during sex or even get an AIDS test?

believe i've already said this, but i think the stress and anxiety one endures after learning they're infect with HIV is what causes AIDS symptoms to arise.

i don't use protection because i want to experience the flesh of the female i'm with without that artificial barrier.

[brawndolicious]

believe i've already said this, but i think the stress and anxiety one endures after learning they're infect with HIV is what causes AIDS symptoms to arise.

0_0

[Eduardo24]

WTF

[Beezy]

lol....

my mind just melted.

Yeah, I gave up on this thread...

[Ecrofirt]

I've come to the conclusion that futami lies about anything and everything.

[Cormacaroni]

This reminds me of being lectured on the evils of promiscuous sex by an abstemious Catholic priest, only in Reverso-land. If you've never tried a long-term monogamous relationship, Futami, it is exceedingly curious that you presume to lecture those of us who have.

To answer your point -- Some reasons to remain with a particular partner that don't hinge on eternal lurve and eye-rolling sex:

• to have a child, and rear it (neither are strictly-speaking impossible to do solo, but just try it and see)
  
• to divide labor (maybe you like cooking, cleaning, or child-rearing, and maybe your wife likes to work in an office all day, but it's rare for one person to be able to do both)
  
• to have a persistent source of companionship when friends and family are not available
  
• to buy a house or otherwise improve your life materially (dual incomes ftw)
  
• to have someone to call you on your shit when you need it (note: "friends" almost never do this...but your wife will.)
  

I'm sure others can add to this list. If none of this sounds as much fun as fucking new hot girls on the regular, it's because it isn't. But if you think of life as a journey, occasionally you have to move forward, right?

[xnikki118x]

I don't feel the need to deeply discuss my personal reasoning with someone who couldn't possibly understand it anyway.

Suffice to say, the easiest way to put it is that Nikki completes me in every way I can possibly imagine.

I haven't been here for a while so I bet he thought I wouldn't see this.




A good friend of mine went away to college, broke up with her boyfriend, and started sleeping around. She told me a few times that it's somehow uplifting and stuff to have sex with someone and have no romantic involvement and no strings attached. That made no sense to me whatsoever.


The way I see it is this: Most people date to try to find the 'right' person. I got lucky and found mine earlier than most, so I skipped a step in a sense that I never slept around or slept with anyone else. But I still ended up where everyone else tries to and hopefully will, just a little bit earlier. I don't think there's anything wrong with that.

[futami]

i guess it`s a youth thing though - i think everyone on the planet has it all figured out at age 24 and below. It`s only when you get much older you think "Christ, i knew fuck all back then!" ...

uh, i'm as old as you.

i turned 30 recently.

[futami]

I don't feel the need to deeply discuss my personal reasoning with someone who couldn't possibly understand it anyway.

Suffice to say, the easiest way to put it is that Nikki completes me in every way I can possibly imagine.

I haven't been here for a while so I bet he thought I wouldn't see this.




A good friend of mine went away to college, broke up with her boyfriend, and started sleeping around. She told me a few times that it's somehow uplifting and stuff to have sex with someone and have no romantic involvement and no strings attached. That made no sense to me whatsoever.


The way I see it is this: Most people date to try to find the 'right' person. I got lucky and found mine earlier than most, so I skipped a step in a sense that I never slept around or slept with anyone else. But I still ended up where everyone else tries to and hopefully will, just a little bit earlier. I don't think there's anything wrong with that.

learn to read, cunt.

i am NOT saying that we shouldn't have romantic relationships.

i am saying WHY should we have a relationship with just ONE person?

[Ecrofirt]

I don't feel the need to deeply discuss my personal reasoning with someone who couldn't possibly understand it anyway.

Suffice to say, the easiest way to put it is that Nikki completes me in every way I can possibly imagine.

I haven't been here for a while so I bet he thought I wouldn't see this.




A good friend of mine went away to college, broke up with her boyfriend, and started sleeping around. She told me a few times that it's somehow uplifting and stuff to have sex with someone and have no romantic involvement and no strings attached. That made no sense to me whatsoever.


The way I see it is this: Most people date to try to find the 'right' person. I got lucky and found mine earlier than most, so I skipped a step in a sense that I never slept around or slept with anyone else. But I still ended up where everyone else tries to and hopefully will, just a little bit earlier. I don't think there's anything wrong with that.

learn to read, cunt.

i am NOT saying that we shouldn't have romantic relationships.

i am saying WHY should we have a relationship with just ONE person?

I dunno futami. The normal thing in most societies is marriage. It's been like this for a really long fucking time.

Perhaps it's not the rest of us that are a little bit squirrelly.

[Shuri]

I don't know fufu, some of us have reached maturity

[FlameOfCallandor]

Slavery keeps futami from maturing. 

[futami]

maturity means sacrificing freedom to be with just one person?

perhaps true maturity, the growth we experience, is breaking free from the bondage of social norms.

[FlameOfCallandor]

maturity means sacrificing freedom to be with just one person?

perhaps true maturity, the growth we experience, is breaking free from the bondage of social norms.

I dont know, does it mean spending $400 on a pair of jeans?