#11. Slumber Party Massacre - Dir. Amy Holden Jones, 1982 (Blu-ray) **
Written by a lesbian feminist writer and directed by a women, but still male gazey af. Apparently the story is that it was written as a parody of slashers, but it was the director's first shot at helming a movie and she decided to play it safe. It was a Roger Corman joint after all, if it didn't have a certain level of blood and titties, he probably wasn't going to release it. Pretty bog standard as far as early 80's slashers go, the only hint of feminism left from the script is when the Final Girl emasculates the killer by cutting his giant phallic drill off with a machete.
#12. Return to House on Haunted Hill - Dir. Víctor García, 2007 (Blu-ray) * 1/2
A really cheap and ugly DTV sequel to the 1999 remake of HOHH. The primary selling point was that it introduced some "choose-your-own-adventure" elements via branching paths on the Blu-Ray. The story is idiotic and pointlessly retcons the first movie by making the source of the house's evil being an ancient Baphomet statue, that possessed Dr. Vanncutt and turned him bad. Speaking of the doctor, Jeffery Combs returns to the role to film a few extra scenes, but the rest of the cast is all new. The plot is really just excuse to go back to the house, with some mercenaries kidnapping the sister of the Final Girl from the HOHH and forcing her and few other randos to help them find the statue for a $5 Million pay day. The house locks down, ghosts start killing people, you know the drill. The first movie had some great character actors, some nice effects, and beautiful set design. The sequel has terrible actors, cheap effects, and boring sets.
But what about choosing your own adventure, does that actually do anything? Well....sort of. There's about 8 choices you get to make throughout the movie, and I didn't check every permutation but it seems like you can get 4 different endings, plus one "post-credits" stinger (actually before the credits, but it has big post credits energy). There's one "bad" ending that results in every character getting killed roughly 3/4ths of the way through the movie, there's a "good" ending where both the main girl and her love interest survive, and then there are two "normal" endings were either the main girl or her love interest survives alone. Then there's an optional ending stinger, where the hot mercenary girl also survives and finds the Baphomet statue after killing two people banging on the beach. What's the condition to activate this scene, you wonder? You have to choose to engage in a lesbian ghost threeway. If you decline the lesbian ghost threeway, she runs away and gets killed. If you choose to have the lesbian ghost threeway, she takes off her top and makes out with them for a bit before they tell her to leave the house, after which she's gone from the movie until the final scene. This should be a 0 star movie, but okay, I admit, that's worth the 1 and half stars. Also one actor looks vaguely like Rand Paul and he gets choked to death by a ghost. Actually, maybe this movie is great.
#13. Haxan - Dir. Benjamin Christensen, 1922 (Blu-ray) ****
Part documentary, part exploitation film, Haxan may be the first bit of "educational" sleaze, although it certainly wouldn't be the last, with movies like Reefer Madness popping up in the 30's and then in the 60's with movies like Mondo Cane. The main thesis of the movie is that superstitions and witchcraft from the middle ages can be easily explained today as mental illnesses or just plain physical deformities, but that even though people of the time consider themselves more enlightened, these types of people are still mistreated by society; sent away to nursing homes and asylums so we don't have to look at them. An admirable message, but about 75% of the movie is recreations of supposed satanic events, witches, and the people being tortured by the Inquisition. It has some really striking visuals and a sense of humor about it that make it interesting watch, coming up on it's 100th anniversary.