RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011

[toku]

any of you guys ever date anyone with deep scars? Dealbreaker for you?

that's about the only type i...ohhhh you mean physical

shaaaawty i just want your looooooove for a minuuuuute
swear i lose my mind everytime that im in it~

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[close]

[Rahxephon91]

Well I was supposed to meet up with a tinder girl today and she stood me up. She must have saw me as her last message was that she thought I'd be taller.

I don't really have any full body shots in my profile. I guess I should..

Hold on a minute, she showed up but left before you saw her, only to message you that? She sounds like a cunt, good riddance. lol

Thats what It seems like. She must have got a glimpse and then backed out, when I asked where she was she texted that. I mean with online dating it was bound to happen eventually that I would be stood up so I'm not too upset.

[Himu]

Keep refreshing this thread to see if Rah finally gets to learn the joys of being fucked in the ass by a big stallion of a man.

[Bebpo]

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[tiesto]

This girl seems really into me, and she's got a great personality and I find her to have a really cute face. I have a few reservations (but those are mostly weird personal things that I bet 99% of you would laugh at and say you're ridiculous) but definitely eager to see where things lead...

Bebs - speaking of parking lot discussions... one thing I'll definitely remember from my trip to San Diego when I got to meet you... is talking about gaf in the parking lot till like 1AM!

[Raist]

(but those are mostly weird personal things that I bet 99% of you would laugh at and say you're ridiculous)

Humour us.

[bluemax]

A lady message me on OKC!

After some chatting through it today and yesterday, I asked her out!

She gave me her number!

Now I have to remember how to schedule an actual first date.

Update: We texted a bit this weekend, mostly about video games (she also works in the industry) and football. She has agreed to dinner or drinks on Friday of this week (her choice of day and indecision on which to do).

This is honestly my first actual date in like a year and a half.

[FreeNudeLyleLanley]

A lady message me on OKC!

After some chatting through it today and yesterday, I asked her out!

She gave me her number!

Now I have to remember how to schedule an actual first date.

Scheduling a first date is honestly the most stressful part of dating in my opinion.

[chronovore]

Atra, try 'dis:

https://twitter.com/ewfeez/status/909484420511309824

[Raist]

Atra, try 'dis:

https://twitter.com/ewfeez/status/909484420511309824

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[Atramental]

Ugh. I have a date Wednesday night even though I said I was going to take a break... 

I guess it helps that this girl seems to be really into me.

She already shot me a text around lunch today.

[CatsCatsCats]

Met my wife when my stepson was 3, it's a pretty good set up if you're prepared to instantly have a family

[Tasty]

Atra, try 'dis:

https://twitter.com/ewfeez/status/909484420511309824

Give her the ol' Fist of Fate, if you know what I'm sayin'.

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[Raist]

Met my wife when my stepson was 3, it's a pretty good set up if you're prepared to instantly have a family

Ideally the step kid should be 18+ and have a job and a flat.

[Valkyrie]

Met my wife when my stepson was 3, it's a pretty good set up if you're prepared to instantly have a family

Ngl I'm really worried I'm gonna end up living alone for forever because of my situation and the trust issues formed by it. I didn't know/realize exactly how big of a baggage people see single moms as.. or what kinda expectations they have about it all. But yeah I understand not everyone wants to be responsible for children, especially not their own, but seeing people call it a dealbreaker makes me really worry. lmao *nervous laughter* :'(

[CatsCatsCats]

There's a lot of guys who view it as a big plus, lets them be established family men with a flick of a switch -- don't sweat it! You might even get your own Brady Bunch

[Huff]

I think it's something that a lot of us are coming to expect as we get into our late 20s and early 30s. Divorcees +/- kids

Yeah some are going to not want anything to do with a single parent, but hopefully they are upfront about that and not waste either of y'alls time

[Atramental]

I'd still date you Val.   

spoiler (click to show/hide)

That being said: be wary of men like myself.  

[close]

[CatsCatsCats]

 

[Atramental]

 

[Valkyrie]

 

[toku]

yall are gonna be alright

[tiesto]

Unfortunately, quite a few men have the stereotype that "single mom = pump and dump", and then there are men who aren't really sure whether or not they want kids so they won't date a single mom. But, there are 2 sides of the coin - I know plenty of men who see single moms as being more responsible and less partygoing, there are also divorcees who have a kid or two of their own and want someone in a similar position, or others who are just pretty laid back and they don't mind it at all. Valkyrie, you're really pretty and seem like you have a good personality (as far as one can tell from text), I don't think you will have much to worry about in the dating world.

[chronovore]

Met my wife when my stepson was 3, it's a pretty good set up if you're prepared to instantly have a family

Ngl I'm really worried I'm gonna end up living alone for forever because of my situation and the trust issues formed by it. I didn't know/realize exactly how big of a baggage people see single moms as.. or what kinda expectations they have about it all. But yeah I understand not everyone wants to be responsible for children, especially not their own, but seeing people call it a dealbreaker makes me really worry. lmao *nervous laughter* :'(

The fortunate side of guys who say up front that it's a dealbreaker is that you don't have to deal with guys for whom it is a dealbreaker.

[Atramental]

The girl I'm seeing tomorrow seems very interested in me. I'm always a tad bit uncomfortable when that's the case but she seems nice overall. 

[Olivia Wilde Homo]

Overall I've had negative experiences with single mothers.  I wouldn't call it a dealbreaker but it's up there with being a smoker: I wouldn't drop someone for being one but you have to be pretty awesome to make it work.

Keep in mind I'm a degenerate so your mileage will vary.

[Mupepe]

But dat milk

[toku]

Overall I've had negative experiences with single mothers.  I wouldn't call it a dealbreaker but it's up there with being a smoker: I wouldn't drop someone for being one but you have to be pretty awesome to make it work.

Keep in mind I'm a degenerate so your mileage will vary.

show me a borean who isn't

[Atramental]

But dat milk

Milkies

[Olivia Wilde Homo]

Overall I've had negative experiences with single mothers.  I wouldn't call it a dealbreaker but it's up there with being a smoker: I wouldn't drop someone for being one but you have to be pretty awesome to make it work.

Keep in mind I'm a degenerate so your mileage will vary.

show me a borean who isn't

I've fucked several porn stars.  I consider myself to be a cut above when it comes to the bore degenerates

[Bebpo]

...and then there are men who aren't really sure whether or not they want kids so they won't date a single mom.

Yeah, this is me. I think in like 5 years I'll be cool dating a single mom with a kid at any age, but right now I'm not sure if having a kid is where I wanna be now, especially because I want to travel a lot.

Then again, the couple of times I've been on dates with single mothers, if they are awesome I've suddenly found myself totally on-board with the idea of kids
So I think if you're the kind of person people would want to date regardless of kids, you are still the kind of person people want to date w/kids.

[brawndolicious]

A lady message me on OKC!

After some chatting through it today and yesterday, I asked her out!

She gave me her number!

Now I have to remember how to schedule an actual first date.

Scheduling a first date is honestly the most stressful part of dating in my opinion.

Last week, after 1.5 years of dating, I finally told my gf that I was not "a few mins" early to our first date but was actually waiting there for 2 hours. She had called ahead and said she had to return a loaner car to the dealer but I was so nervous about leaving later and being late that I just sat in the parking lot of the Starbucks. I have that invisible anxiety that is only present when I'm not talking to people.

[Raist]

A lady message me on OKC!

After some chatting through it today and yesterday, I asked her out!

She gave me her number!

Now I have to remember how to schedule an actual first date.

Scheduling a first date is honestly the most stressful part of dating in my opinion.

Last week, after 1.5 years of dating, I finally told my gf that I was not "a few mins" early to our first date but was actually waiting there for 2 hours. She had called ahead and said she had to return a loaner car to the dealer but I was so nervous about leaving later and being late that I just sat in the parking lot of the Starbucks. I have that invisible anxiety that is only present when I'm not talking to people.

You passed the test, congrats.

[ToxicAdam]

, but seeing people call it a dealbreaker makes me really worry. lmao *nervous laughter* :'(

Don't see it as a negative. See it as a way to weed out manchildren and jerks.

It could save you months of wasting your time with someone.

[seagrams hotsauce]

I just like to sleep in. Guess that makes me a jerky manchild

[Madrun Badrun]

I was offered 1,000 at one point.

I was joking!

[bluemax]

A lady message me on OKC!

After some chatting through it today and yesterday, I asked her out!

She gave me her number!

Now I have to remember how to schedule an actual first date.

Scheduling a first date is honestly the most stressful part of dating in my opinion.

Yeah, and I'm a bit bummed with her "let's play it by ear" thing about what to do. Oh well, beggars can't be choosers!

Met my wife when my stepson was 3, it's a pretty good set up if you're prepared to instantly have a family

Ngl I'm really worried I'm gonna end up living alone for forever because of my situation and the trust issues formed by it. I didn't know/realize exactly how big of a baggage people see single moms as.. or what kinda expectations they have about it all. But yeah I understand not everyone wants to be responsible for children, especially not their own, but seeing people call it a dealbreaker makes me really worry. lmao *nervous laughter* :'(

A friend of mine, who divorced his wife somewhere in the past year, just got engaged to a woman who already has a small child. My divorced aunt on my dad's side apparently might be getting married soon, and she has a young daughter. It's not impossible or hopeless!

I saw a woman, my age (34), that she had just taken her oldest daughter off to college. That certainly made me think about a lot of things, not in a negative way, just like realizing how different a path my life had gone down. I think you just have to find someone who is in a similar emotional head space. I see all these girls my age who talk a ton about travelling and I'm not really about that life, I don't think it makes either of us bad we just want different things.

[Valkyrie]

I just like to sleep in. Guess that makes me a jerky manchild

Not wanting kids or deal with (other's) kids certainly doesn't make anyone a manchild. I didn't want kids at all up until earlier in the year before I got pregnant. It was my first time living with someone I was dating and things just seemed fit for it.
Anyway, lotsa people don't want kids, or not yet which is of course understandable. I can't see myself wanting another kid after all the shit with my ex. But idk yet, I'm still in my 20s. Definitely don't wanna get married again tho. I just don't see the point. That's actually the main reason I agreed to get married here, because we wanted kids but had to be married because of cultural stuff.

The reality is that being the parent with custody, you're always gonna put your kid first. It's not like I can go out anytime I'd want to, or stay out really late like before. That's another thing that's going to make it really hard meeting someone in the future. You're just not flexible. I know I shouldn't think about this stuff yet but it's hard not to. Already a separated single-mom at the age of 28. rofl, rip

But I guess like others said, at least I can weed out guys who hate kids.

Damn, I miss sleeping in though.. I've had to get up at 6 am every morning for 2 years.

[chronovore]

Don't worry, they won't always be waking you up. Once your kid is in school, you'll be trying to get them to wake up. 

You wanted a kid, you got a kid; you're making smart moves to get the support you need and removing both yourself and your child from a bad relationship. Go, you!

[Beezy]

Already a separated single-mom at the age of 28. rofl, rip

You're only 28? I assumed you were older for some reason. You'll be just fine. Unless your kid is an asshole.

[Valkyrie]

Thanks for the constant nice words, everyone who replied. I feel blessed regardless because of my daughter. She's currently covering my entire face in animal stickers I got her yesterday, and I wouldn't trade away moments like these for the world.

Btw when I saw this I thought of you Chrono. So if your marriage doesn't work out you can use this as inspiration.   https://imgur.com/gallery/6WLDv

[seagrams hotsauce]

I just like to sleep in. Guess that makes me a jerky manchild

Not wanting kids or deal with (other's) kids certainly doesn't make anyone a manchild. I didn't want kids at all up until earlier in the year before I got pregnant. It was my first time living with someone I was dating and things just seemed fit for it.
Anyway, lotsa people don't want kids, or not yet which is of course understandable. I can't see myself wanting another kid after all the shit with my ex. But idk yet, I'm still in my 20s. Definitely don't wanna get married again tho. I just don't see the point. That's actually the main reason I agreed to get married here, because we wanted kids but had to be married because of cultural stuff.

The reality is that being the parent with custody, you're always gonna put your kid first. It's not like I can go out anytime I'd want to, or stay out really late like before. That's another thing that's going to make it really hard meeting someone in the future. You're just not flexible. I know I shouldn't think about this stuff yet but it's hard not to. Already a separated single-mom at the age of 28. rofl, rip

But I guess like others said, at least I can weed out guys who hate kids.

Damn, I miss sleeping in though.. I've had to get up at 6 am every morning for 2 years.

Fwiw I meant that response as a tongue in cheek response to the idea that ppl who are averse to dating folks with kids are jerks or manbabies because of that. I don't want kids at this point in my life, possibly ever, because I can't currently do what you're describing - putting the main focus of my life on the well being of my child - and I don't really think I can constructively participate in the upbringing of someone else's kid in any parental fashion. Hookups are one thing but I feel like I'd need to provide a positive example to anyone's child I was dating, and while there are probably worse role models out there, I'm not quite done being a degenerate peice of shit yet.

I guess my point is that I'm not a jerk or a manchild cuz I don't wanna date someone with kids so much as I just don't wanna date someone with kids rn cuz I know I'm still an jerkish manchild. I mean you can still have your shit together and not wanna date someone with kids too, but that's why it's the case for me atm

[Valkyrie]

Yeahh don't worry, I just wanted to say what I said regardless. Just airing out some thoughts, but I also understand how you feel since I used to feel the same.

And fwiw I don't think I'd want to do the same if my first parental experience would be with someone else's child. Dunno though, hadn't thought of that one until now.

[seagrams hotsauce]

I just dont wanna end up like this

[Atramental]

My date and I hit it off very well last night.

She looked a bit rougher than she did in her tinder photos (I think it was due to her not wearing any eye makeup or something) but we have a ton in common and talked for nearly 4 hours.

Ended up making out with her at her car and we're planning on meeting up again this Saturday.

[Phoenix Dark]

Atra


what does she look like 

[toku]

Atra on the Net: I'm taking a break gonna focus on me

Atra IRL: Aww skeet skeet

[Atramental]

Atra


what does she look like 

Sent you a PM.

[I'm a Puppy!]

I just like to sleep in. Guess that makes me a jerky manchild

Not wanting kids or deal with (other's) kids certainly doesn't make anyone a manchild. I didn't want kids at all up until earlier in the year before I got pregnant. It was my first time living with someone I was dating and things just seemed fit for it.
Anyway, lotsa people don't want kids, or not yet which is of course understandable. I can't see myself wanting another kid after all the shit with my ex. But idk yet, I'm still in my 20s. Definitely don't wanna get married again tho. I just don't see the point. That's actually the main reason I agreed to get married here, because we wanted kids but had to be married because of cultural stuff.

The reality is that being the parent with custody, you're always gonna put your kid first. It's not like I can go out anytime I'd want to, or stay out really late like before. That's another thing that's going to make it really hard meeting someone in the future. You're just not flexible. I know I shouldn't think about this stuff yet but it's hard not to. Already a separated single-mom at the age of 28. rofl, rip

But I guess like others said, at least I can weed out guys who hate kids.

Damn, I miss sleeping in though.. I've had to get up at 6 am every morning for 2 years.

As a parent it's often too easy to put your kid first in everything but there's a balance. I remember something my dad once told me, he said that it was important to make yourself a priority too because some day your kids will grow up and leave the house and make their own lives and then you'll be stuck with a shit life and you gotta live your life. You're doing the right thing in getting out. And LOL, you'll be waking up at 6am for the next 14 years too. Enjoy!

[Mupepe]

I'd do terrible things to wake up at 6am

[toku]

I just like to sleep in. Guess that makes me a jerky manchild

Not wanting kids or deal with (other's) kids certainly doesn't make anyone a manchild. I didn't want kids at all up until earlier in the year before I got pregnant. It was my first time living with someone I was dating and things just seemed fit for it.
Anyway, lotsa people don't want kids, or not yet which is of course understandable. I can't see myself wanting another kid after all the shit with my ex. But idk yet, I'm still in my 20s. Definitely don't wanna get married again tho. I just don't see the point. That's actually the main reason I agreed to get married here, because we wanted kids but had to be married because of cultural stuff.

The reality is that being the parent with custody, you're always gonna put your kid first. It's not like I can go out anytime I'd want to, or stay out really late like before. That's another thing that's going to make it really hard meeting someone in the future. You're just not flexible. I know I shouldn't think about this stuff yet but it's hard not to. Already a separated single-mom at the age of 28. rofl, rip

But I guess like others said, at least I can weed out guys who hate kids.

Damn, I miss sleeping in though.. I've had to get up at 6 am every morning for 2 years.

As a parent it's often too easy to put your kid first in everything but there's a balance. I remember something my dad once told me, he said that it was important to make yourself a priority too because some day your kids will grow up and leave the house and make their own lives and then you'll be stuck with a shit life and you gotta live your life. You're doing the right thing in getting out. And LOL, you'll be waking up at 6am for the next 14 years too. Enjoy!

killer mike says something similar in his now viral AS life advice promo:

[Phoenix Dark]

When the plane is crashing, put your oxygen mask on first. Bless up and let your kids die.

[Valkyrie]

That video should be mandatory to show in class every time you start a new grade.

[Atramental]

Talking with another girl on Tinder. She's a graphic designer like me and we seem to be hitting if off well.

Going to see if I can set up a date with her this Friday.

edit: She's down. 

[I'm a Puppy!]

talking about being a parent, hey PD, you marry that latina yet?

[toku]

talking about being a parent, hey PD, you marry that latina yet?

nah but he's giving the baby thing his best effort

[Phoenix Dark]

talking about being a parent, hey PD, you marry that latina yet?

Not yet. 2018 will be a relationship year. It has been foretold.

[chronovore]

Thanks for the constant nice words, everyone who replied. I feel blessed regardless because of my daughter. She's currently covering my entire face in animal stickers I got her yesterday, and I wouldn't trade away moments like these for the world.

Btw when I saw this I thought of you Chrono. So if your marriage doesn't work out you can use this as inspiration.   https://imgur.com/gallery/6WLDv

That dude's ripped. If I did that, I'd look like a mannequin put together from mismatched pieces.

[toku]

talking about being a parent, hey PD, you marry that latina yet?

Not yet. 2018 will be a relationship year. It has been foretold.

[Atramental]

Man, I don't know what it is with me/reality.

As soon as I am on the verge of quitting that's when I have a breakthrough by just going one more yard past my comfort zone.