RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011

[Huff]

Local bdsm clubs

[Atramental]

Every time I read this thread I get two feels

1) I'm so glad I don't have to deal with dating nowadays as a straight guy. It seems god awful
2) I understand why a lot of my gay friends are disgusted by straight dating. It seems god awful

It is rather abysmal. 

[Atramental]

Deleted tinder.

Spring and Summer are the worst seasons to try and get with girls.

As soon as the weather begins to turn warm I might as well not exist.

[Rahxephon91]

I've run across this girl who honestly is a dead ringer for a young Valentina Nappi at the bar I frequent. I even danced with her friend. I swear to god if I run into this chick a third time I'm going to see this as sign from god and rick it all.

[Atramental]

It’s fucking true, man.

I was able to match with several to a dozen girls a week and roughly half would respond back to my messages during the fall and winter.

Now I’m lucky if I get 2 to 3 matches a week (out of hundreds that I’ve swiped right on). Also, besides that vine girl no one responded back to me. I don’t have the time nor the energy for that shit.

Cuffing season is real.

edit: also, I don’t live in a major metropolitan area so after two weeks of swiping right within a 35 mile radius there’s basically no girls left except for the random 2 to 3 new accounts that sign on for a bit then vanish.

If my normal job and my freelance work weren’t eating up most of time I’d at least try meeting girls at bars or whatever but now I’m so exhausted by the time the weekend rolls around I spend it mostly in bed...

[hungrynoob]

everyone using tinder, old fashion way of talking to girls irl has become even more of an advantage than it has before - time to man up.

[Atramental]

I guess I should start a coke habit at this point.

I have zero energy outside of the work. Fucking zero. And I'm just phoning it in while I'm at work.


Could it be depression? I dunno, maybe. Could it be my thyroid dying on me? Most likely.

edit: Also, people who know me know I'm not a joy to be around when I'm tired/irritated. I’ll say very callous and outlandish shit sometimes. It's probably why I haven't been invited back to hang out with certain friends in a while.

[I'm a Puppy!]

I was talking to a therapist friend of mine and I brought up the whole "man, dating nowadays seems a disaster." Apparently I touched a nerve, cause she went into a massive diatribe about some of her clients are terrible and that she's like "Puppy I've literally watched a client of mine talk about how she's gone through hundreds of men's profiles to somehow consistently settle on the most immature and toxic men she could possibly find."  My friend went on and on about she's all about being selective and thinks its important, but you gotta pick someone good after all that excluding, that and she talks about how some people think they got the difference between casual hook ups/fwb and actual relationships completely messed up.

As we talked we sorta came to the conclusion that people have more ability to have whatever kind of relationship you want, since largely most taboos are gone, it's just that people haven't gotten the skills/maturity to deal with the choice.

[mormapope]

Another big thing about online dating is these companies running the sites and apps dont give a shit if anyone is getting laid or if relationships begin.

The amount of shit behind different paywalls is ridiculous. Pay 15 bucks to see a time stamp of when someone received your message, along with very basic search filters. Really basic shit that helps people that feel either picky or desperate.

Getting laid shouldn't be some charity work done by a company, but it feels like there's microtransactions for getting laid. It reminds me of videogame style hooks and addiction in a strange way.

[VomKriege]

Heh they gotta eat somehow. But yeah the level of paywalling is insane. I dunno if it's a disaster either but without any utter grief it's a bit weird to be liking profiles left and right (it-is-a-numbers-game) just to hope to get some feedback. I mean I would find it awkward to chat up 5 ladies at a time (though judging by my experience so far it's probably a first world problems I'll never have). But I can't fault the women for it. It's very fire and forget and thoughtless on both ends.

[mormapope]

I just wanna find BBW women without having to pay money to find them
 

A feature Id want implemented would be a date rating. I imagine the comments could get very nasty and fucked tho.

[I'm a Puppy!]

I just wanna find BBW women without having to pay money to find them
 

A feature Id want implemented would be a date rating. I imagine the comments could get very nasty and fucked tho.

Burger king.

[mormapope]

I just wanna find BBW women without having to pay money to find them
 

A feature Id want implemented would be a date rating. I imagine the comments could get very nasty and fucked tho.

Burger king.

Im not into the BBW crowd that has three kids and barely enough energy to get out of the car.

[I'm a Puppy!]

I just wanna find BBW women without having to pay money to find them
 

A feature Id want implemented would be a date rating. I imagine the comments could get very nasty and fucked tho.

Burger king.

Im not into the BBW crowd that has three kids and barely enough energy to get out of the car.

Taco bell

[mormapope]

A woman big enough and strong enough to beat the shit outta me <3

[Bebpo]

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[Atramental]

Fired up tinder again ...and re-matched with that cool girl that I went on a date with back in 2016. The one before "I was molested 7 different times" girl and the heroin addict + Hep C girl. 

She wants to see me again.

[Atramental]

I brought up A Serbian Film on my first date with this girl (after a couple of drinks). She's a keeper if you ask me. 

She probably still smokes but I'll take that over a Hep C ridden, heroin addict any day. 

[I'm a Puppy!]

Atra deletes tinder, a few days later restarts and talks about a girl being a "Keeper".
Glad to see someone's picking up the "fickle bitch" stuff since Cindi left.

[Atramental]

My physical and mental health probably has something to do with my behavior lately.

[CatsCatsCats]

Had a really nice date last night 

[Rahxephon91]

Well than maybe you should stay off tinder atra. I seems like your taking it more seriously than you should.

[team filler]

This thread is hilarious, I've been mistakenly ignoring it until now 

[VomKriege]

This thread is hilarious, I've been mistakenly ignoring it until now 

Probably gonna die of old age before my first Tinder match my photos must be even more atrocious than I thought.

Also a pretty depressing experience all around.
ONLY SERIOUS PLZ.

[I'm a Puppy!]

I think I have a small crush on one of the managers at my group's client organization (I'm a consultant).

Puppy, you ever see something like this come up? Any advice?

Maybe I could ask her out for drinks when the project is wrapping up in a few months?

Oh yeah, let me tell you a story about one of my most interesting fires.

- Be me
- Have a middle aged dude that's a database wiz assigned to your team from someone else's team
- Be engaged in a large project
- Set up a meeting (ONE meeting) with this DB wiz guy and the client's DB admin
- Come to work the next day and find see the Client's DB admin's cube plastered in hand-made paper butterflies little bits of love poetry. Think to self: Either she's got a really romantic boyfriend, or someone's being creepy
- Be at your desk all of 5 minutes before the client's PM storms into your office saying "Did you see what the DB wiz guy did?"
- Jokingly ask if he already made the DB performance fixes in just one day and be informed that no, that apparently he had spent the last night plastering the client's DB Admin's cube with paper butterflies and love poetry, they had met at 2pm the day prior
- Call HR and tell them that you don't care  what they have to do,  you're going to have to fire a mother fucker


In general, I say DON'T. Do keep in touch, do grab informal cups of coffee or lunches, step it up as you're about to leave and after you're done. But while on project, stay the fuck out.

[Huff]

What would puppy know

I recommend going out for drinks and both blacking out. See what happens

[shosta]

Puppy always has good advice. This should be renamed the Advice Puppy thread.

[I'm a Puppy!]

tried that last year and woke up next to a guy

To be fair, in that one case you really probably shouldn't have listened to me.

[Atramental]

I think I have a small crush on one of the managers at my group's client organization (I'm a consultant).

Puppy, you ever see something like this come up? Any advice?

Maybe I could ask her out for drinks when the project is wrapping up in a few months?

Oh yeah, let me tell you a story about one of my most interesting fires.

- Be me
- Have a middle aged dude that's a database wiz assigned to your team from someone else's team
- Be engaged in a large project
- Set up a meeting (ONE meeting) with this DB wiz guy and the client's DB admin
- Come to work the next day and find see the Client's DB admin's cube plastered in hand-made paper butterflies little bits of love poetry. Think to self: Either she's got a really romantic boyfriend, or someone's being creepy
- Be at your desk all of 5 minutes before the client's PM storms into your office saying "Did you see what the DB wiz guy did?"
- Jokingly ask if he already made the DB performance fixes in just one day and be informed that no, that apparently he had spent the last night plastering the client's DB Admin's cube with paper butterflies and love poetry, they had met at 2pm the day prior
- Call HR and tell them that you don't care  what they have to do,  you're going to have to fire a mother fucker


In general, I say DON'T. Do keep in touch, do grab informal cups of coffee or lunches, step it up as you're about to leave and after you're done. But while on project, stay the fuck out.

Should've written a crown of sonnets instead.

[I'm a Puppy!]

To be honest, a crown of sonnets might not have cost the guy his job. Definitely would've gotten him off the project but probably not out of the company.
So I guess, the lesson is, when in doubt, "don't", when you can't "don't" then go for the crown of sonnets.

[Olivia Wilde Homo]

LOL at dating someone you work with.  Just get a hooker like a normal person.

[BlueTsunami]

Not shitting where you eat is some 101 shit. Yes, you'll hear success stories but for every work relationship made in heaven theres 20 that end with someone having take a quick job at McDs just to transition out of an unbearably toxic work environment.

[Atramental]

Just matched with a cute 6’3” girl in Asheville and she’s really chatty.

spoiler (click to show/hide)

I am diamond hard RN 

[close]

[D3RANG3D]

Are you tall enough for her though?

[BlueTsunami]

She could probably curl me. Get it Atra, climb that palm tree. If you are shorter than her, just be hyper observant of the variable heights of surfaces when it comes time to dick.

[Atramental]

Are you tall enough for her though?

6’ on a good day

spoiler (click to show/hide)

I think I am technically 5’11.5” or something 

[close]

[I'm a Puppy!]

It's odd to me how much weight women give height in dating. It's like "Your dating profile better have your bra measurements on it before I tell you if I'm interested or not."...Actually, that might not be such a bad idea...

[Olivia Wilde Homo]

If you’re 5’10” or 5’11”, feel free to say you’re 6’ because fuck it, who cares.  She’s not going to be able to tell anyway

[BlueTsunami]

[mormapope]

I've come to the realization that Im a titty guy. Small tits or flat chested can be just as hot as big tits.

Small asses can be nice but there has to be roundness. Unround ass is not hot, for women and men. More men have really weak butts compared to women.

[shosta]

Doesn't that make you an ass-man?!
 

[Atramental]

I’m a leg and feet man. 

I’m getting the shakes thinking about that tall girl wrapping her legs around me. 

[thisismyusername]

More men have really weak butts compared to women.

Wait, (he's bi)?

I brought up A Serbian Film on my first date with this girl (after a couple of drinks). She's a keeper if you ask me. 

She probably still smokes but I'll take that over a Hep C ridden, heroin addict any day. 

I mean a smoker can quit...

[Atramental]

Smoker girl ghosted on me. So whatever.

I don’t get people sometimes.

We match, they act all interested, then... nothing.

[thisismyusername]

That's dating apps in general. It sucks, but you shoulder on.

Honestly, given your health issues currently I wouldn't be worrying about dating for anything other than getting laid (and even then you can just do instead of dating, whatever the equivalent of Grindr is for heteros). Worry about yourself first before worrying about all these women and the dating world. Find out why you're so damn tired before worrying about winding yourself while having sex.

[Atramental]

I’m probably gonna get ghosted by this tall girl...

As soon as they see that I’m not close by they lose interest fast.

I should probably move to North Carolina because South Carolina in the Tinder-sphere is super bleak.

[I'm a Puppy!]

Yes, moving for tinder demographics is a good idea.

[Atramental]

I need to sleep but, in short, the social dynamics that are in play in my neck of the woods aren’t the best.

[brawndolicious]

TIMU, heterosexual men got every advantage in life except for Grindr.

Are you tall enough for her though?

6’ on a good day

spoiler (click to show/hide)

I think I am technically 5’11.5” or something 

[close]

Oh I'm the same height, just under 6 foot. I can like smell it in the air when a 5' 10" guy is about to lie about his height.

"Well actually, I think you should remeasure yourself bro. I'm certain you're under five foot eleven!"

I feel the height I'm at is perfect for me, gives me those pumps of testosterone where you don't wanna change your underwear.

[thisismyusername]

TIMU, heterosexual men got every advantage in life except for Grindr.

I pity the men that can't get their dick sucked same-day-delivery.

[Atramental]

This latest bio I've written up is working a lot better than my usual nonsense. Heh. 

[shosta]

Contrary to popular belief bios do matter a little after the match because if someone is excited about the match they just got, they'll go and read it and it'll help you stand out. If you put a bunch of negatives there to take up half the little space you have, you are snuffing out the little interest they had.

[warcock]

Hahaha that 6'. Funny yet a little sad. Oh well embrace that 5 foot life. I take solace in that my erect cock is larger than most 6 footers....

[Atramental]

It’s silly that it is such a deal breaker for some women.

“Good personality, employed full-time at a white collar office job, doesn’t live with his parents... but he’s 5’10”?? No thx, I don’t date manlets. I want Chad who is 6’4” who will gorilla fuck me on his mom’s couch after he gets done with his job at Costco moving crates.”

 

[shosta]

Nobody's actually like that besides a rare few and bitching about it makes you look weak. Stop. I'm 5'5" so if I can get laid semi regularly then it's not your height.

[warcock]

Nobody's actually like that besides a rare few and bitching about it makes you look weak. Stop. I'm 5'5" so if I can get laid semi regularly then it's not your height.

Nah you are right. I dont get laid cause i am a socially akward asshole. That being said those rare few that do that suck.  I like asian women anwyays so 5 10 is ok.

[I'm a Puppy!]

Nobody's actually like that besides a rare few and bitching about it makes you look weak. Stop. I'm 5'5" so if I can get laid semi regularly then it's not your height.

Don't worry little guy. I'm sure you'll get taller when you're done growing up

[BlueTsunami]

Be happy youre not 6'3 with a normal dick. Theres a dude at my job thats tall, can pull women but got cursed with the baby dick rumor from a Puerto Rican chick that was expecting all things to scale.

[Atramental]

Nobody's actually like that besides a rare few and bitching about it makes you look weak. Stop. I'm 5'5" so if I can get laid semi regularly then it's not your height.

Semi regularly with cis women? 

I will admit my text based conversation/flirting skills are lacking.

It’s like trying to squeeze blood out of a stone for me.

[seagrams hotsauce]

 Leading with that is madness, you're doing yourself dirty by opening with your insecurities. Just trash the whole 'flaws' list