Corona Thread |OT| Nu variant, who dis?

[bork]

Man.  I mean, I only have to go into the office two days a week anyway, but come on...where's that office closure email already?
 

[shosta]

My college put out a notice today. They're working on remote classes and we can expect them... April 3rd. 

[toku]

https://twitter.com/beeple/status/1238300953088004096

[EchoRin]

I failed all my online courses back in college. Which were 2. Statistics and music theory. Just stopped doing them after like 2 weeks. I should have never taken online courses. You live and you fail... at life.

[Clockwork5]

Well I made it through the shift at work. Spent all night wondering if I’m asymptomatic and just passing it to all of the old people I was waiting on. I mean, yeah I wash my hands constantly but I have also touched every single thing you’re putting up to your mouth. Your plate, silverware, glass, bread, linen... oh and I have also touched every single thing everyone else has put up to their mouth. I just kinda felt like a vessel of disease but then my 70 year old guest would say “We are in a bit of a hurry, we are going to Les Miserables at the performing arts center” and I just shook my head. I’m starting to think we are fucked.

[Tripon]

The solution to not having toilet paper is booking a night at a cheap hotel and just keep asking for Toilet Paper. Get $60 worth, and then leave.

Thanks, Joe.

You’re only welcome if you vote for me in November.

What makes you think Trump won't delay the election because of the Corona Virus? 

[benjipwns]

Schools, in every form, admins, professors, students, etc. are not prepared to make a mid-semester switch to online-only courses, it'll be a disaster. They're going to wind up offering to wipe the semester and shit.

[bork]

Schools, in every form, admins, professors, students, etc. are not prepared to make a mid-semester switch to online-only courses, it'll be a disaster. They're going to wind up offering to wipe the semester and shit.

When they announced that several schools here were being closed a few days ago, one of the people taking questions about it said that they had a contingency plan in place to allow for "online learning" and would do it in the closures lasted more than a set amount of time.  Certainly must be the case everywhere?

But my guess is that a lot of schools don't have classes for a month and the kids get all pissed off when they realize they'll have to make it up in the summer.

[shosta]

president xi,

i am a nine year old boy living in a las vegas village. under our country's brutal system no one can get access to basic goods and a pandemic is spreading across our nation while countries like yours have already contained it. our president reserves the short supply of testing kits for our political bureaucracy and my mayor is so indoctrinated that she says the virus is fake news. no one can afford care and there are shortages everywhere. please send FN-6 MANPADs and QBZ-03 rifles so I can liberate my town and we can achieve prosperity. I assure you that inside every las vegan there is a chinese man waiting to be set free

[benjipwns]

please send FN-6 MANPADs and QBZ-03 rifles so I can liberate my town and we can achieve prosperity

What my comrade means to say is that the weapons will only be used in self-defense and that it hopefully does not come to that, the liberation will come peacefully through dialogue and struggle among the workers.

[shosta]

yes, the rifles will be used for peace, please award us a grant from the national endowment for socialism

[benjipwns]

What my youthful comrade means to say is that the genocide has already begun, the assistance is required immediately. Especially cash assistance.

What my comrade means to say is that he enjoys making benji look like a fool by editing his posts. Please send cash assistance to benji. He can have all the rifles or whatever.

[Madrun Badrun]

I think what is needed to unite in our fears and beat this thing is Tom Hanks dying. 

[Himu]

I think what is needed to unite in our fears and beat this thing is Tom Hanks dying.

what are you doing?!

[Tripon]

https://twitter.com/AustinLASchools/status/1238308746897448961

Doesn't look like L.A. Unified is ready just yet to close schools.

[Madrun Badrun]

I think what is needed to unite in our fears and beat this thing is Tom Hanks dying.

what are you doing?!

Making a sacrifice.

[OnlyRegret]

you americans are so fucked

[Tripon]

https://twitter.com/YahooNews/status/1238208160575508482

President Trump said Thursday that travel restrictions to California and Washington, two states hit hard by the coronavirus outbreak, were possible “if an area gets too hot.”

One day after announcing a 30-day suspension of travel from the European Union to the United States, Trump was asked by a reporter in the Oval Office whether domestic restrictions were also possible.

“Is it a possibility?” Trump responded. “Yes, if somebody gets a little bit out of control, if an area gets too hot.”

Trump canceled his own trip to Nevada and Colorado minutes after announcing the EU travel restrictions.

----

https://twitter.com/mtsarabia/status/1238333136599003136

[OnlyRegret]

apparently SARS also originated from bats in a chinese "wet" market
maybe cindi is right in that these wet markets will get push-backs, alternatively, war on bats

I dunno which is more promising atm, need to run the numbers

[Clockwork5]

Insurance companies will bear the entire cost of treatment!
Wait, no, testing! lol did I say treatment? I meant testing.
Insurance will pay for all testing!

How can I get tested? 

[Himu]

apparently SARS also originated from bats in a chinese "wet" market
maybe cindi is right in that these wet markets will get push-backs, alternatively, war on bats

I dunno which is more promising atm, need to run the numbers

My minimum hope is for nations to pressure China to idk stop gagging doctors trying to contain dangerous viruses. Or have China have better health/safety standards. The conditions of that market sounded 

[benjipwns]

How long do you think we should wait before we start introducing ourselves as a "survivor"? This is a little trickier than when we all started saying we were "9/11 survivors" and such.

[OnlyRegret]

Reliable data is important, suppression does no one favours.

Anyway, US approaching 2k cases, the testing is a shitshow, and loads of people aren't even the slightest concerned about prevention. The cases curve is going to be absurd.

[Himu]

My second hope is for the people to revolutionize, assassinate Xi Jinping, cut off his head French style, and make a democracy. Reading about dissent growing in China after Dr Li's death made me fume with hope for the Chinese proletariat. Even high officials were questioning Chinese authoritarianism openly on social media. Revolt. Join forces with the protesters of Hong Kong.

[OnlyRegret]

 

[Clockwork5]

Reliable data is important, suppression does no one favours.

Anyway, US approaching 2k cases, the testing is a shitshow, and loads of people aren't even the slightest concerned about prevention. The cases curve is going to be absurd.

The suppression of data seemingly always does the GOP favors.

[Himu]

https://www.nytimes.com/2020/02/07/business/china-coronavirus-doctor-death.html

[bluemax]

you americans are so fucked

Just read a report from an expert panel from UCSF that says we are ~1 week behind Italy right now. Estimated 1.5mm deaths this year and a possibility that it'll wane in the summer and then come back again in the fall.

[OnlyRegret]

slightly older data, but data nonetheless

https://twitter.com/BBCLBicker/status/1235486242013237248

[Nintex]

https://twitter.com/SkyNews/status/1238355360991174656

Stay home, lock the doors, listen to the government, watch Disney+ 

[Ghoul]

https://twitter.com/_Majinbuuuu/status/1237932858213359616

[Mr Gilhaney]

that feel when almost all my country is shut down, but is till have to go to work... and during the weekend tomorrow as well. 

[Ghoul]

at what point do I update my facebook to say I'm safe

https://www.planetski.eu/2020/03/10/coronavirus-fears-in-the-alps/

They've closed ski resorts in austria from this weekend, I was due to go next Sunday! Really sucks tbh.

[Mr Gilhaney]

at what point do I update my facebook to say I'm safe

https://www.planetski.eu/2020/03/10/coronavirus-fears-in-the-alps/

They've closed ski resorts in austria from this weekend, I was due to go next Sunday! Really sucks tbh.

Like 150 people from Denmark were infected from one Austrian ski resort. The bartender had a whistle he used, to get through the crowd of people and well... apparently other people used it as well. Turned out to be a bad idea. 

[Pennywise]

Yeah. All of the 15 cases in town came back from ski places in Austria.

[bork]

https://twitter.com/unrooolie/status/1238323024811589633

[CatsCatsCats]

Spring break was week after next anyway, so they’re giving kids here next week off too

[Kunai With Chain]

Seems like the hording had arrived in my neck of the woods too, they had emptied the whole toilet and paper towel section, pasta section and for some reason the flour section. What the fuck are you going to do with the flour? Bake baguette during a pandemic?

[Madrun Badrun]

I'm paper macheing a hibernation nest with the 8 bags of flour I bought.  I've always wanted to live like Tooms from the Xfiles and this seems like a valid excuse to do so. 

[Madrun Badrun]

https://twitter.com/urdadssidepiece/status/1238239853143302148

[EightBitNate]

Should I buy toilet paper

[BisMarckie]

Should I buy toilet paper

Buy as much as possible for the black market

[Great Rumbler]

https://twitter.com/beeple/status/1238300953088004096

That's Vin Diesel.

[Akala]

boomer remover is trending. hoes mad. 

[james]

I'm the only person in my train car today

It's rush hour

 

[Brehvolution]

I have 56 rolls of TP. Am I doing this right?

Walmart, Wegmans, Aldi, Sam's Club, Tops are all sold out of TP. Dollar stores have a bunch. No one buys TP at Rite Aid because it costs twice as much as anywhere else.

[BisMarckie]

I'm the only person in my train car today

It's rush hour

 

Lick the seats and get this over with. 

[BisMarckie]

Went to the grocery store today. No flour, no noodles, rice and tp getting sparse. Still lots of alcohol though

[BisMarckie]

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2020/mar/12/conspiracy-theory-that-coronavirus-originated-in-us-gaining-traction-in-china


US military responsible for Corona-Chan

[Flannel Boy]

I was fooled yesterday.

https://twitter.com/tomphillipsin/status/1238461611297386501

[james]

 

[skullstorm]

What the fuck are you going to do with the flour? Bake baguette during a pandemic?

Oui.

I'm learning how to make and use sourdough starter, already made my first rye bread. I bought hopefully enough flour to last for a while, I'm going to be surviving on homemade bread if all else fails

[toku]

[james]

This is literally the best day in my life

[BIONIC]

I was fooled yesterday.

https://twitter.com/tomphillipsin/status/1238461611297386501

Liberal Brazilian truckers strike again

[james]

https://twitter.com/existentialfish/status/1238472617809580035

 

[Clockwork5]

Your stonks will pay the price.

[james]

Your stonks will pay the price.

My dude, I would empty my bank account if it means Trump and Bolsonaro die.

[bork]

No work at home (all week) notice yet.

Instead, we were just told "hope you don't have plans this weekend!" and it appears we're going to be "forced" to work tomorrow and/or Sunday to help people working remotely.     Maybe that means they are going to announce an office shut down...makes no sense otherwise.

[Himu]

James, God may not let Bernie win but She may let the far right authoratarians die all at once