Pallando will return in "Never Say Never Again"

[Flannel Boy]

I hate when attractive women ask me out (I have not cold messaged a woman in a month and have ignored most of the messages in my inbox, but I guess I sent her a belated three word reply). I'm going to have to say yes, and she'll eventually tell me there's no spark.

[Shadow Mod]

You hate everything breh and it comes off in your dates.

[Mupepe]

Malek, don't get so angry about it.  I think it's reasonable that most dates aren't going to go anywhere.  Just take it as a good time.  Like seeing a movie.  It might not be the best movie you've ever seen but it was better than jackin it in the pale light of your monitor.

[Flannel Boy]

I am turning into an unaccomplished, though much better looking, Sir Richard Owen.

[Barry Egan]

I am turning into an unaccomplished, though much better looking, Sir Richard Owen.

Sir Richard Owen had a wife though...

[Flannel Boy]

I am turning into an unaccomplished, though much better looking, Sir Richard Owen.

Sir Richard Owen had a wife though...

I guess I better agree to the date then.

[Shadow Mod]

I am turning into an unaccomplished, though much better looking, Sir Richard Owen.

Sir Richard Owen had a wife though...

I guess I better agree to the date then.

Do you ever have fun on your dates? The way you post about this shit makes it sound like it's a chore, so you're not doing you or them a favor. And I can't imagine you mask this very well when going out with these women.

I hate kicking people when they're down and all but it's like why are you bothering dude?

[Barry Egan]

He already gave in to the societal pressure pushing him towards a law degree, so now he feels obligated to collect on the societal pressure that pushes woman towards lawyers. 

[Shadow Mod]

Just get a mail order bride or some shit then if it's to complete some model of a life.

[Phoenix Dark]

backpage.com Malek. Pay someone to go on a date, give you pointers, and clean the spark plug

[Olivia Wilde Homo]

backpage.com Malek. Pay someone to go on a date, give you pointers, and clean the spark plug

I'd be scared to use that site.  Seems like it would be teeming with undercover cops.

[Phoenix Dark]

backpage.com Malek. Pay someone to go on a date, give you pointers, and clean the spark plug

I'd be scared to use that site.  Seems like it would be teeming with undercover cops.

The Coli taught me that the way to check is to google the phone numbers. If you see multiple listings of multiple girls off one number, it's fake. And anyone quoting prices on their page is suspect.

[Mupepe]

Also call from a number other than your own and start talking about how much for a blowjob, etc. if they go along and don't immediately hang up it is a cop

[Robo]

.

[nudemacusers]

just fly out to nevada

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_brothels_in_Nevada#Active_brothels

[Olivia Wilde Homo]

Backpage is legit; I've used it plenty of times.  Don't judge!  What else are you supposed to do when your girl won't let you put the D in the A?

I'm not judging, I just don't want to get arrested.

[Flannel Boy]

Devo talks about me as if I'm Dexter Morgan or Opiate from neogaf. I want to date for all the normal reasons.

All my dates with Fit Girl were fun!

Anyway, take that Sabretooth:

Hey, just thought I'd let you know I think you look like wolverine. Sexy.

 

I'm going out with the architect on Saturday. I'll show her my leaning tower.

[Shadow Mod]

Well maybe if you weren't "I hate it when ____" about every fucking thing dude.

 

[brawndolicious]

It could be more complicated, like not seeing eye-to-eye as far as higher motivations in life. In that case, somebody who is mature enough to tell you what they want could figure it's easier to just say there was no spark rather than try to explain why they think you'll get bored with each other after spending a hundred hours together.

[DCharlieJP]

I'm going out with the architect on Saturday. I'll show her my leaning tower.

hmm - the main reaction from the tower i've heard is "it's quite disappointing.... not very big..." so... um... GOOD LUCK!

[Olivia Wilde Homo]

I want to ask out a classmate, but I have no idea if I'll succeed or not. We aren't really even classmates anymore since she's staying in public policy and finishing this year, and I'm doing the joint degree with the business program. I may have posted about her before. Last night I had a great opportunity to just sack up and do it, but I didn't. 

There was a white girl with all of the thickness that I like in one of my classes.  So I go and talk to her.  Turns out she is 36, has three kids, and has been married for years.

It sucks.  I was hoping to find some cute, single ambitious girl in my program but I haven't found her yet.

[Phoenix Dark]

I want to ask out a classmate, but I have no idea if I'll succeed or not. We aren't really even classmates anymore since she's staying in public policy and finishing this year, and I'm doing the joint degree with the business program. I may have posted about her before. Last night I had a great opportunity to just sack up and do it, but I didn't. 

Just do it. Not taking the shot will haunt you far longer than being rejected. Trust me on this.

[Flannel Boy]

The date went very well despite my attempts to sabotage it. And, unprompted, she told me she wants to go an another.

A fun, attractive, and intelligent woman with nice curves and great job seems into me. 

edit: she split the bill, too.

[Phoenix Dark]

I look forward to learning how you plan to ruin this turn of events.

[nudemacusers]

propose marriage asap

[Flannel Boy]

I look forward to learning how you plan to ruin this turn of events.

I don't want to ruin things (Emily Blunt Girl is pretty awesome) but I will.

propose marriage asap

That will work. Let's call this "Plan Fit Girl."

[Mandark]

A fun, attractive, and intelligent woman with nice curves and great job seems into me. 

Anyone else: #humblebrag

Malek: #miredinirrationalanxiety #selfdeprecatinghumorthatbeliesaveryrealpain #deepbreaths #yougotthisbuddy #youhaveworthasahumanbeing #notlikeyou'reManabyte #teamSabretooth

[nudemacusers]

lol I was joking about the proposal but you should definitely tell her you love her. look into her eyes when you say this.

[Human Snorenado]

Tell her about Pamperchu

[nudemacusers]

Tell her about Pamperchu

This is not a bad strategy. "Hey babe, I may have my shit to work out, but I'm not pretending to be an infant and shitting in my pants".

[Olivia Wilde Homo]

Tell her about Pamperchu

This is not a bad strategy. "Hey babe, I may have my shit to work out, but I'm not pretending to be an infant and shitting in my pants".

You may joke now but in 5-10 years when the generation raised by the internet becomes legal age, you could probably use this line and get away with it.

[Flannel Boy]

Date number two is a go for tomorrow. :nervous

[nudemacusers]

stop by kay's beforehand to select the appropriate ring to set the mood.

[Flannel Boy]

Kay's sells cock rings?

[Olivia Wilde Homo]

You should just find an excuse to bow out gracefully instead.

[Shadow Mod]

Take this chance to finally be the one to say "I just don't feel a spark."

[Flannel Boy]

I don't think anyone on this forum likes me. 

[nudemacusers]

I think you're cool

[Human Snorenado]

I'm rooting for you, duder

spoiler (click to show/hide)

not much comfort, i know

[close]

[chronovore]

I think you're awesome. I really wish you didn't have such a crippling social phobia.

[brawndolicious]

You are I think the most "successful" Internet dater I've ever seen.

But no, that doesn't raise my opinion on that format. I'm sure you're full of sparks that you maybe are trying to suppress with new people. What perhaps more logical people would call social phobia.

[Cerveza mas fina]

You're ok in my book Malek.

[Shadow Mod]

I don't think anyone on this forum likes me. 

I doubt this. I know I don't. Just find the complaining bemusing is all.

[Mupepe]

You're cool IMO.  I'd meet you if I could

spoiler (click to show/hide)

You probably don't want to meet me

[close]

[Flannel Boy]

Thanks for the kind words.

The date didn't go too well, especially at the end. I was very nervous--more nervous than I was during the first date when I felt as if I had nothing to lose. Tonight my brain was telling me not to fuck up--not a good mindset. 

[Flannel Boy]

I just sent her a desperate email.

The only other woman I've liked as much since I started dating again is Fit Girl. They're very similar--same age, height, eye color, hair color. They both laugh easily. They're both atheists. They also share the same initial bad taste in men (both, probably come to their senses quickly). I-Need-a-Nickname-Girl isn't a vegetarian and doesn't live in Winnipeg (also has big ass titties). 

The date really went sour when the topic of sparks and chemistry came up--I freaked out and did my best Opiate impression: "beep-boop chemistry is illogical boop."

[Van Cruncheon]

i'd intensely violate your bitter mouf and pleasingly clenched anus, malek. <3

[Flannel Boy]

  If only Toronto Girl felt that way.

[nudemacusers]

why would you talk about sparks and chemistry? 

[Flannel Boy]

We were watching Breaking Bad during an electrical storm.

She was talking about exes and her need for that connection (she actually has her very own term for it that's not a "spark," and it will be her nickname once she tells me that she never wants to see me again).

[Barry Egan]

Thanks for the kind words.

The date didn't go too well, especially at the end. I was very nervous--more nervous than I was during the first date when I felt as if I had nothing to lose. Tonight my brain was telling me not to fuck up--not a good mindset. 

[Flannel Boy]

Have you experienced any bad side-effects?

[Mandark]

You know I'm in yer corner, and further what I think of "spark" and how you tend to filter that message.

I do think it's funny when Cowbell or whoever lectures you, as if people act on their social anxiety deliberately and are too dumb to realize that it's counterproductive.

[Barry Egan]

Have you experienced any bad side-effects?

one of the things that got me on board was that whatever potential side effects do exist are pretty negligible, especially compared to SSRI's (you can quit at anytime for example).  I've experienced no side-effects, personally. 

[Flannel Boy]

You know I'm in yer corner, and further what I think of "spark" and how you tend to filter that message.

I do think it's funny when Cowbell or whoever lectures you, as if people act on their social anxiety deliberately and are too dumb to realize that it's counterproductive.

In her defense, I could work on my cognitive distortions--but even though I know they're distortions I still believe them.

I hate when attractive women ask me out. . . . I'm going to have to say yes, and she'll eventually tell me there's no spark.

Jumping to Conclusions, catastrophizing, mind-reading, control fallacy. And, by tomorrow, I'll be shown to be correct (except for the control fallacy--this rejection doesn't have to make an emotional wreck, but. . . ).

Have you experienced any bad side-effects?

one of the things that got me on board was that whatever potential side effects do exist are pretty negligible, especially compared to SSRI's (you can quit at anytime for example).  I've experienced no side-effects, personally. 

I'll make an appointment with a GP and give it a try--especially on the off-chance [insert nickname here] Girl gives me another date.

edit: Last negative post in this thread. If she rejects me, I'll change my avatar to a stock Jewel photo.

[Flannel Boy]

Thanks The Business

She hasn't replied.



Of course, against my better judgement, I sent her another message.

[Positive Touch]

jesus FUCKING CHRIST dude

[Rufus]

I concur.

[MyNameIsMethodis]

lol malek you just look insane at this point its over lad its over

[Flannel Boy]

jesus FUCKING CHRIST dude

On an all new segment of "Indefensible" Drinky attempts to defend malek's actions, can't, and begs to defend the wii u tablet instead.