Pallando will return in "Never Say Never Again"

[Huff]

We've gone over this. Desperate virgins don't have types

[CatsCatsCats]

Kinda feel like you should just put "is a virgin" on your profile and hope for charity

[Atramental]

"I'm a virgin.
Just kidding!
Or am I?
Let's find out. 😏"

[Olivia Wilde Homo]

The girl will figure it out pretty much right away anyway

[ToxicAdam]

Kinda feel like you should just put "is a virgin" on your profile and hope for charity

The 'pity gene' embedded in all women that is a safety mechanism to keep our species alive.

[TakingBackSunday]

Well, I'm done with this thread.  It's clear Pallando doesn't care enough to take our advice and is in a constant loop of disappointment without actually taking the action that is needed to make him able to thrive in social settings, particularly around women.

It's clear that you a) need therapy and medication and b) need to access what habits you have when you're alone and identify which ones are toxic.  IE, 4chan visitation.

[VomKriege]

So I'm noticing a new problem...

I'm matching with solid 7s, 8s, (and, dare I say, 9s) BUT because they're probably in such high demand by the "Chad Thundercocks" I'm getting no responses to my initial messages.

Also, I need to get better at opening messages. My standard "Hey [name], how's your week going? Anything interesting or eventful happen?" isn't going to cut it with these girls because they probably get that all the time.

Or, you know, they're just not interested (irrespective of why, not that you're in any position to know). Try the next ones. Isn't "Tinder a numbers game" ?

[Mupepe]

Well, I'm done with this thread.  It's clear Pallando doesn't care enough to take our advice and is in a constant loop of disappointment without actually taking the action that is needed to make him able to thrive in social settings, particularly around women.

It's clear that you a) need therapy and medication and b) need to access what habits you have when you're alone and identify which ones are toxic.  IE, 4chan visitation.

At the very worst you're getting to watch a train wreck.  I'm in.

[Samson Manhug]

That's what they said about Elliot Rodger, Mupepe.

[I'm a Puppy!]

Well, I'm done with this thread.  It's clear Pallando doesn't care enough to take our advice and is in a constant loop of disappointment without actually taking the action that is needed to make him able to thrive in social settings, particularly around women.

It's clear that you a) need therapy and medication and b) need to access what habits you have when you're alone and identify which ones are toxic.  IE, 4chan visitation.

Pallo: I'm going to go and do all this cringy/stupid stuff!
Bore: You know, that's really not such a good....
Pallo: I'm gonna go and do it!
Bore:
Pallo: It was a disaster!
Bore:


Rinse and Repeat

[Mupepe]

That's what they said about Elliot Rodger, Mupepe.

I had to look up who that is but the parallels are uncanny.

[Olivia Wilde Homo]

It all comes down to how bad he wants it.  If the answer is 'not that bad' then he will keep coming up against these scenarios and want to give up or sabotage them.  By 2025, there will be VR waifus on your Okkkulus anyway.  Maybe just stick it out until then.  Think of all the dank memes you will miss out on if you leave 4chan.

[Atramental]

Cute chubby girl who lives close by said hey.

This might be it, brehs. 

edit: Eh, think I spooked her. Went straight for the "I'm in need of a small spoon. How would you rank your cuddling on a scale from 1-10."

Whatever. I don't have time for prudes. 

edit: OHHH! Spoke too soon.

"I would say like 20, but I'm more of a knife kind of girl."

Knife? 

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=knifing

 

Eh, I'll just wing it from here.

[toku]

I hope she kills you.

[Atramental]

YEAH! I FUCKING HOPE SO! OOH-OOHHH!!! 

edit: I guess knifing could either mean we're laying parellel to one another or it's synonymous with "daggering". 

[Bebpo]

Never heard of knifing.  Yeah, if I got that response I'd be like wtf this person wants to stab me, no thanks, but sounds like its a real term.  Still could mean actually stabbing, tread w/caution dude.


On the other hand, if a woman messages you first on something, it usually means they find you attractive and they are interested to a degree, so unless you really fuck up the date will probably go well.

[Olivia Wilde Homo]

You should have told her to meet in your stabbin cabin.

[Atramental]

I'll make a joke about the "knife" thing over dinner.

Don't want to scare her away with a vaguely threatening text. 

Edit: shit... she was on a choir tour with her university. She's back over in Charolette now...

I just have her my number and told her to hit me up whenever she's back in my area.

She also said she loved my straightforwardness.

[seagrams hotsauce]

You've hinted at this a few times so I feel compelled to mention it. Please don't move to Ashville because you've convinced yourself it's a pussy goldmine based on fuckin Tinder. If you absolutely cannot stop yourself, please lie to us about it.

[Atramental]

Yeah, I'm not really moving there.

The job market there for the stuff I do for a living is kinda shit.

[Huff]

Job market here for most things is shit

But it's totally a pussy goldmine if your in to smelly hipsters that don't know how to shave or hold down a job

[Atramental]

If only it were closer and not an hour drive.

[thisismyusername]

Yo Atra, serious offer.

You and I go on mock dates via Skype and at the end of them I'll rate your performance.

You get to develop your date skills and I get to work on my character acting and improvisational skills. win-win.

You need a convincing wig for him to snatch, though. Wait, what were we talking about? Dates? Not the actual play-sex part?

[thisismyusername]

Okay, caught up. Time for me to put this cup of tea down and give a response...

She also said she loved my straightforwardness.

Okay, with that out of the way. Some girls will not like that. So keep that in mind. That said: You need to learn to be somewhat charming and less a head-case like you are now.

1) Asking a girl for feedback is kinda a "no" move because it means you aren't confident in what you're doing.
2) You need to stop overthinking EVERYTHING. I remember you told me you pushed cosplay girl into your erection (I'm airing this publicly because this isn't a major thing to keep private, IMO). You don't need to do that to show her you want to fuck. I'm pretty sure when she's in the mood, you'd get it up for her given how badly you want to fuck.
3) With #2 being said: The fastest way to be charming is to try to be funny. Which, I'm not sure will work in your case.

But seriously: Stop overthinking things and just be funny with people with no intention of screwing. I know that's gonna be hard with your "WOE IS ME! I'M A VIRGIN! I'LL BE A VIRGIN FOREVER!" thinking, but seriously: It works.

You know how I know? Because I've gotten one-night stands plenty of times from making jokes and just keeping a conversation going. The difference here (and I feel this will be crossing a line) is outright asking after buttering them up "hey, you wanna screw?" Because with men/gay men: YES. YES. YES. OH JESUS YES. Women may not want that straight-forward asking, but hell if I know. Someone like Wrath or PD would know that better.

But seriously: Be funny and have no intention of getting into their pants. You'll find that to have a farrrrrrr better success than your method(s) you've been doing now.

[Atramental]

Chubby choir girl just messaged me back and said she'll definitely be down to hangout next time she's in my area.

[thisismyusername]

Well, whenever that is: Make sure you don't thrust your erection into their crotch as a sort-of-hint-you-wanna-fuck-oh-god-so-lonely. Okay? Give her a good time, without the "good-time" you're looking for.

Because seriously: If you stopped giving a damn about your virginity and caring about it and wanting sex so badly... it'll happen. I say that a fellow basketcase.

[Atramental]

I read it. Very insightful post. I'll try to keep that all in mind.

[I'm a Puppy!]

You're typing out another "pls give feedback" text right now aren't you?

[Atramental]

No. I learned my lesson.

[Atramental]

Well, despite being a fuck up in my dating life, I successfully matched a friend (who is also using tinder) with a girl that's basically his other half. 

[thisismyusername]

You're sounding more and more like you're a gay bottom after all.

[Atramental]

Heh. You wish. 

[toku]

Heh. You wish. 

At the rate you're going, not for very long. 

[D3RANG3D]

spoiler (click to show/hide)

[close]

[thisismyusername]

Heh. You wish. 

More like Andy wishes. Why would I get with an ex-Christian basketcase when I have plenty of straight men to convert?

[Tasty]

Heh. You wish. 

More like Andy wishes. Why would I get with an ex-Christian basketcase when I have plenty of straight men to convert?

Is that what you're doing right now?

[thisismyusername]

You, if I wanted comments from the peanut gallery I'd ask.

To be fair: I should've thrown in "non-Basketcase" to the straight men comment.

[Atramental]

FUUUUUUUCK.

I JUST matched with a FemAtra looking chick but I was drunk and made an ass out of myself when talking to her...

She hasn't unmatched me yet but no replies to any of my recent questions.

Pray for me, brehs.

[TakingBackSunday]

Stop drinking and messaging

[Atramental]

I'm gonna die alone
I'm gonna die alone
I'm gonna die alone
I'm gonna die alone
I'm gonna die alone
I'm gonna die alone
I'm gonna die alone
I'm gonna die alone
I'm gonna die alone
I'm gonna die alone
I'm gonna die alone
I'm gonna die alone
I'm gonna die alone
I'm gonna die alone
I'm gonna die alone
I'm gonna die alone
I'm gonna die alone
I'm gonna die alone




WHY GOD? WHY DO YOU HATE ME SO MUCH?

[Atramental]

Someone just kill now. I can't live anymore.

It hurts to breath.

[Raist]

[Olivia Wilde Homo]

FUUUUUUUCK.

I JUST matched with a FemAtra looking chick but I was drunk and made an ass out of myself when talking to her...

She hasn't unmatched me yet but no replies to any of my recent questions.

Pray for me, brehs.

I give up.  Good luck on wherever this takes you.

[thisismyusername]

I JUST matched with a FemAtra looking chick but I was drunk and made an ass out of myself when talking to her...

She hasn't unmatched me yet but no replies to any of my recent questions.

[tiesto]

A friend of a friend has parties once a month, where people go over, chill, and play his arcades (he has probably 10+ cabinets, plus a Neo Geo with like 40 MVS games). His fiancee's friend is usually there, and I've seen her around a few times. Cute, short and curvy, with curly light brown hair. Yesterday I was at his Halloween party and was talking to her for a bit, found out she is into gaming and anime as well, seems pretty nice and stable. At the end of the night I fucked up, I told her to add me on FB instead of asking for her # or FB name  Don't know why I did that but I just wasn't really thinking. Oh well, we'll see if she actually does, if not there's always next party.

[Raist]

Y'all overthinking shit way too much.

[eleuin]

The autism spectrum: it goes farther than you think - the thread

[nudemacusers]

I'm out

[toku]

At this point Pallo I'd say just focus on your work and hobbies. Maybe try to get some friends or repair old friendships because actively trying only seems to be making your life worse.

[toku]

A season for everything. Water comes in and then goes out. Bless up.

[Mupepe]

At this point Pallo I'd say just focus on your work and hobbies. Maybe try to get some friends or repair old friendships because actively trying only seems to be making your life worse.

I'm gonna disagree. Keep doing what you do. Most of us have done this same shit, but we did it in our teens and learned from it and those that didn't were able to follow advice. You don't seem to be able to follow our advice so you need to learn from your own experience. If you stop you'll find yourself in your 40's still saying weird shit to women.

[I'm a Puppy!]

I agree with my fine latino brother. You gotta keep practicing and yeah, we all did stupid shit when we were younger. One though, I'm not kidding. Just pay to get laid and knock it out of the way. It's become too big a stumbling block for you. Just get it out of the way, see what it's like.

[seagrams hotsauce]

Atra, text me your number bro.

You really need to start running shit by someone before you take action. Your ass needs a filter until you can get it under control.

Your in my prayers, bruh.

Dude, fuck this. What's next, a fuckin' earpiece when he actually goes on a date? This isn't doing him any favors, at this point it's on him to keep plugging away, fucking up, learning from those fuck ups, and eventually getting his dick wet, though that looks to be a ways off.

I think we're reaching Hail Mary advice part of this thread, so my suggestion at this point is to develop a pattern of substance abuse. Become an addict to just about anything that doesn't destroy your genitals, and you're almost garunteed to get laid eventually. Wether it's in the throes of addiction when you're possibly exchanging sex acts for drugs, or in rehab when people are so desparate to escape the creeping darkness of sobriety that they'll fuck a beanbag chair, you'll get your damn dick wet.

I recommend benzos. They're great at taking the edge of the nerve wracking experience of talking to new people, a great party favor, and a lot more manageable than smack or coke. Good luck captain

[Huff]

He's already past the undergrad seen where having drugs will auto get you laid

I'd say become a regular at a bar or two. Eventually you'll find someone desperate enough to fuck you

[toku]

I wanted to say something similar but I want Pallo to stay positive and be healthy.

[Phoenix Dark]

I fear Pallando has reached self destructive depths. Cock blocking yourself with a hot girl is like the last stage of wizardry. The only things left are pedophilia or shooting up a community college. We've gotta get you back in the right direction dude, but do you WANT to go in the right direction?


After weeks/months it's clear you won't stop overthinking or obsessing over stuff, so I guess we gotta give up on that part. But surely you can continue going on dates to build some confidence.

I still think getting laid would calm you down. Once you fuck you'll realize you wasted a lot of time stressing something that isn't that crazy. You should save up $200-300 and pay someone to cuddle with you and then fuck. Get it out the way. Continue going on dates and your mind will be at ease.

[Atramental]

I'm so sorry guys.  :'(

I think I really need to take a break or I'm going to break.

[brawndolicious]

I'm going to reiterate the suggestion for therapy. Being told over and over again that it's no big deal or that you're normal when you don't overthink things isn't going to help when you're not comfortable in your own situation. But getting some guidance on how to recognize and deal with your issues gets you on the right path.

Basically, you fuck up because you have sexual milestones as a relationship goal and that leads to a self destructive cycle no matter who you are.

[thisismyusername]

I'm out

We know.

[seagrams hotsauce]

He's already past the undergrad seen where having drugs will auto get you laid

I'd say become a regular at a bar or two. Eventually you'll find someone desperate enough to fuck you

Hey, I wasn't saying "stock up on recreational drugs and appeal to people," I was saying "Develop a crippling addiction that will erase your dignity [sidenote, a touch of ego death couldn't hurt here, so Dr. Grams is also prescribing some LSD] and eventually force you to socialize with morally flexible degenerates."

I guess it goes without saying that I agree with becoming a bar regular.