Pro Wrasslin' Thread: I don't know what I just saw

[nachobro]

Roman winning the crowd and the IC title

[bork]

Braun Strowman is my new favorite wrestler. 

https://www.cagesideseats.com/wwe/2017/5/26/15702182/braun-strowman-regular-chipotle-order-1500-calories-costs-22-dollars

We’ve long known that burrito chain Chipotle is the fast food stop of choice for the wrestler on the go. As Seth Rollins explained, “If you can just get a bowl with a bunch of meat and vegetables and rice, you're pretty set.”

Now, thanks to David Shoemaker and his crack staff over at The Ringer’s The Masked Man Show podcast, we know what happens when Braun Strowman walks into the joint.

For starters, the Monster Among Men isn’t like Rollins and other calorie counting, clean eating Superstars...

    If I’m hungry, I eat. A lot of guys that I work with [are] so worried about, “Oh, I gotta eat here or there or this and that.” I just eat, man. I don’t care.

While Braun says he’s “kinda like a cow” who eats all day long, his go to meal is Chipotle. And he always gets the same thing. So much so that the one by his house starts prepping his bowl the minute they spot 6’ 8” nearly 400 pounder pulling up.

That order?

    A bowl. One scoop of rice. Grilled vegetables. Three scoops of steak. Two scoops of chicken. Guac. Corn. Sour cream.

The Ringer did the math, and that’s 1470 calories, if he doesn’t eat the complimentary tortilla - which I imagine is a game-time decision for the self-professed grazer. If he goes for the carbs, it’s 1770.

They also checked with their local store, and learned that order would ring up at $22.17.

And, keep in mind Strowman says he “binge-eats” as part of his always eating plan, so even after killing that bowl...

He’s not finished with you yet, Chipotle.

My wife doesn't care about wrasslin' (although she said she'd totally go to a live event to see Asuka because GANBARE NIPPON, etc etc) but likes to come up with nicknames for the people since she doesn't know who they are.  Like Sheamus is "Mayo."  And now Strowman shall be henceforth known as "MR. CHIPOTLE."

[nachobro]

A Monster Among Eaters

[TVC15]

Why the fuck is Chrisley Knows Best not on after Smackdown now? WTF?

[bork]

Only caught bits and pieces of Smackdown last night.  Did I see ANOTHER set of NXT women get called up and do pretty much the same thing that the others did on Raw the night before?    The blonde in the group even looked the same as the one from Raw. 

All the show build up on something happening to Owens and Zayn...only for nothing to happen.

Why the fuck is Chrisley Knows Best not on after Smackdown now? WTF?

Replaced with Some Football Player Knows Best, apparently.

[nachobro]

https://twitter.com/PWStream/status/933711753963327489

 

[bork]

Observations on Samoa Joe:

1. His current WWE music literally sounds like "dastardly fat man walking."  Like I picture some evil fat man twirling his mustache with an evil grin.

2. Him walking backstage or to the ring always looks like he tried to take a shit and just couldn't get it out. 

[TVC15]

3. I want him to fuck me. Sexiest bastard on the roster.

[bork]

3. I want him to fuck me. Sexiest bastard on the roster.

[nachobro]

So is broken matt finally gonna be a thing or are they teasing for no reason again?

Also I somehow never realized Elias was so jacked. Dude looks great. His match with Roman was quite good too.

[bork]

I tuned in late and turned this off pretty quickly.  Is Miz out for a while?  And I assume Matt Hardy finally got the rights to his Deleted gimmick settled after that post-match segment?

[nachobro]

Miz is filming another Marine sequel so he'll be out for a bit. And I hope he finally won something because he was kinda floundering without that or Jeff around.

[TVC15]

I prayed for Bray Wyatt to get hit by a car and die before going to bed tonight. He’s probably tied with Ambrose for worst on the roster.

[bork]

Going by Twitter, Matt Hardy might no longer be broken,but will instead be...woken? 

I prayed for Bray Wyatt to get hit by a car and die before going to bed tonight.

[bork]

Orton in the SD main event tonight.

[bork]

Oh man, I forgot all about these.  This one is just

[TVC15]

Brah Stroman, recommend me an NWA/pre-Bischoff WCW special/PPV on WWE Network.

[TVC15]

Oh, any great ECW PPVs? I used to watch the TV show in the late 90s, but I have no idea which PPVs are great.

[nachobro]

Barely Legal 1997 (their first PPV, Terry Funk murders himself for your enjoyment, first big RVD match)
Living Dangerously 1998 (great Taz/Bam Bam match and Sabu/Sandman with canes)
Living Dangerously 1999 (RVD/Jerry Lynn had a really great match and Taz/Sabu for the title)
One Night Stand 2005 (WWE produced ECW reunion show, really cool to see the guys come back together)

[nachobro]

 

[TVC15]

Oh, any great ECW PPVs? I used to watch the TV show in the late 90s, but I have no idea which PPVs are great.

No. ECW is fucking trash.

Stro, sometimes I love you so much, but sometimes I want to hit you. Why do you make me feel this way?

[bork]

The reason that the Bludgeon Brothers - Luke Harper and Erick Rowan are only going by Harper & Rowan now is because Vince McMahon believes that by going with just their last names, the team as heels comes across as being more "dominant."

[nachobro]

Vince seems to hate first names on some dudes. Just ask Alexander Rusev and Antonio Cesaro. Or Adrian Neville. Or Justin Bradshaw. Or Fit Finlay. There's probably more too

[bork]

So what did everyone think of "Woken" (Awoken?) Matt Hardy's promo on Raw?  I kind of liked it, but I didn't watch much of the broken stuff on TNA so I don't know how it compares.  He basically kind of shit all over Bray Wyatt though, which I guess is becoming a common theme these days.

-The hell was up with Jason Jordan on Raw?  Are they turning him heel already or what?  The crowd doesn't like him, which is good for Roman, I guess.

-Every time I see the two NXT blonde call-ups on both shows, I just think "Alex Bliss" clones.  Especially the one on Smackdown.  They look so damn interchangeable.

-Hey, Ziggler's back and looking even more like a Shawn Michaels clone now.  As in...Shawn Michaels now.  Minus the beard and bald spot. 

-Mojo is heel now 

[bork]

The laugh-off at the end was so awful

[fistfulofmetal]

Here's how I see the Jason Jordan stuff:

-Requests a fight with his "father" to provide himself/chance at a title match
-HHH interferes on his behalf allowing Jordan to win, Jordan official Heel turn
-HHH fights Angle at WM
-Jordan goes on to do something else.

[bork]

-Jordan goes on to do something else.

Like get released?

"Awful" is kind of the point of Broken Matt. It was over the top stupid/absurd/bad that people liked ironically until it blew up and people were entertained by precisely because of how stupid it was.

Sounds right up my alley!

 

[Trent Dole]

Oh if you haven't you NEED to check out The Final Deletion and the promo(s) leading up to it.

[TVC15]

Matt being in a feud with Bray at least means he is going to pick up a win.

Every Bray promo I see, I just hate him more, and not in the good way. The Worst in WWE.

[nachobro]

-Every time I see the two NXT blonde call-ups on both shows, I just think "Alex Bliss" clones.  Especially the one on Smackdown.  They look so damn interchangeable.

fwiw, Liv Morgan (Smackdown blonde) is a Carmella clone. But she's better at it.

Also wtf is Sarah Logan? She's talking about hunting and game meat in a promo? Is she just the new version of Skinner?

[TVC15]

I could probably watch Bray/Matt Hardy promos in this format for a couple months.

[Human Snorenado]

This is probably the right use of Bray, something so obviously goofy it just doesn't matter. Could be the highpoint of his entire WWE run, other than ghost tractor of course.

[bork]

HEY, HOW ABOUT THAT RICH SWANN?  Anyway.



 

[bork]

[nachobro]

I was worried WWE would fuck this whole Broken thing up (and they still might) but so far this is near the level of dumb I was hoping for from all of this.

Yeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaahhhhhhsssssssaaahhhhhhahahahahahahashhhhhhhhhh
 

[TVC15]

Yes! It only took a single guess to figure out the tag.

[TVC15]

Been watching Scott Steiner promos the past hour. I love how angry he gets when he calls Samoa Joe fat.

[fistfulofmetal]

I signed up for New Japan World and now I'm staring at the selection completely baffled what to watch. I randomly clicked something and now i'm watching some tag team tournament I think. A girl in a sexy bunny outfit is walking out with Bullet Club people.

[fistfulofmetal]

There's a guy named Hangman Page who's like a cowboy i guess and he's got a rope around his neck 

and they're fighting vikings?

[fistfulofmetal]

I watched this years G1 Climax which was pretty great. Trying to get an understanding how the structure of their roster works. It's weird to see their top guy (Okada) in a random multiperson match on the card and be apart of the losing team. It's such a different dynamic.

From what I understand the current top feud is Naito/Okada over the last few years and they're gonna have a match at Wrestlekingdom in January.

[fistfulofmetal]

Yeah I watched a video a while back that went into Naito's character comparing him to Roman Reigns kinda - a babyface that flopped with the crowd but in his case was able to turn it around.

I actually think it's a bit more like The Rock. A corny babyface that joined a heel stable and became a fan favorite. I'm totally sold on him honestly. He's got a good look and figured out his character.

I'm rather looking forward to WrestleKingdom now, honestly.

[nachobro]

Last night was mostly boring. I enjoyed the main event match, which I didn't expect to. Also there were some solid signs, so that's something.


 

[fistfulofmetal]

It was better then I expected but I was also playing Zelda the entire time so I wasn't paying 100% attention. The Natty/Flair match was pretty cool but having Natty cry as the entire crowd boo'd her was kinda gross.

The KO/Sammy thing was fun but I honestly don't know what they're driving to here. If it's not Shane vs. DBry @ WM then this all a big pile of nothing.

And AJ/Jinder was way better than I expected. Jinder looked good and AJ continues to just excel at everything. I really hope they're spinning their wheels for a Nak/AJ match at WM.

[bork]

That show was Sunday Night Smackdown.  Didn't have a PPV feel and was just there to be a filler PPV that they "needed" to have.

Jinder wearing feces colored gear seemed apt.

[bork]

The wife of WWE Superstar Rich Swann, indie wrestler Vannarah "Su Yung" Riggs, posted the following on her Facebook page earlier today:

"I can not wait to see my husband tomorrow! After such an awesome weekend of wrestling debuting in two different promotions across America nothing would be better than to see his face.”

The post seems to indicate that the two have reconciled following the arrest of Swann last week for kidnapping/false imprisonment and battery – touching and striking.

[bork]

 

[bork]

Last night was mostly boring. I enjoyed the main event match, which I didn't expect to. Also there were some solid signs, so that's something.

(Image removed from quote.)
 

It hits me now that by that "FF8 sucks" sign, he meant Nakamura. 

[bork]

Cool to see Hideo Itami run out to save Balor...but he's still going to be stuck on 205 Live, right?

[nachobro]

Booker's commentary is secret best part of Raw.

[bork]

Booker's commentary is secret best part of Raw.

Enzo was giving him a run for his money earlier.  What was that crap about Asuka?

[nachobro]

Book even improved Enzo's bits by egging him on with the "Uh huh" and "There we go" lines.

[bork]

Aw, I missed Bork.  Didn't see the first 20 minutes of the show.  Did I miss WOKEN too!?  :'(

[nachobro]

They mentioned him but then just had Bray give a promo where he did a impression.

edit: well nevermind, here he is

[nachobro]

https://twitter.com/WWE/status/942972037588545536

Turned off Raw before this got announced but do they even have enough women to do this? Is that the reason that the NXT call ups happened?

[TVC15]

They mentioned him but then just had Bray give a promo where he did a impression.

edit: well nevermind, here he is

I missed Raw while working tonight. Can one of you fat asses provide a link to Matt?

[nachobro]

Also upon counting I guess there's 20 women on the main roster (and I somehow remembered all of them except Dana Brooke, oops). So add in a couple from NXT, a couple gimmick comebacks, and the Bellas and you can hit 30 pretty easily.

[bork]

Did they say it was going to be a 30-woman match?  Could be 20.

https://twitter.com/WWE/status/942972037588545536

Turned off Raw before this got announced but do they even have enough women to do this? Is that the reason that the NXT call ups happened?

The best part about this was absurd it was watching THE REBELLIOUS ABSOLUTION stand down in front of Stephanie when she came out, and then everyone stopped fighting and were suddenly best friends as the new Rumble match was announced.  They were all cheering together and shit. 

[nachobro]

Or the whole thing could be an elaborate way to debut Ronda Rousey

[archie4208]

Last night was mostly boring. I enjoyed the main event match, which I didn't expect to. Also there were some solid signs, so that's something.

(Image removed from quote.)
 

He's not wrong.

[nachobro]

Yeah two Rumbles in one show is too many. They'll have to space them out as far as possible, presumably opening the show with the Women's Rumble. But even then it'll be a slog of a show. That's like 2 hours of just Rumble matches?