Author Topic: Ten interesting facts about other Evilboreans (Read 3589 times)

Van Cruncheon · « **on:** March 05, 2007, 09:45:04 PM »

1. Willco and Mike_Works were caught giving each other handjobs in Kentia Hall at E3 '03. The story they agreed on was that underpaid Cambodian flo' hos were the reason they had their jean shorts around their ankles and their tooters pointing at the Nintendo exhibits, but Willco got drunk and spilled the beans. As usual.

2. Lemurs and warcock are brother and sister, but by different parents. Warcock got the looks and brains; Lemurs got the lips and the dandruff.

3. Malek was one of Ayn Rand's fuckpuppets back in the early 60's. Unbeknownst to you clueless feggits, he's in his late 50s and works at SMU as a Computer Science instructor legendary for never having learned any C. The law school shit is just some weird frippery he made up to elicit sympathy. He thinks it'll get TVC to send him free shit. Little did he know that nothing with TVC is free, and that the cost is in TVC's fictional but all-too-exchangable currency: The Cornhole Yen.

4. BlueTsunami is gay for me, and it's pretty fuckin' disturbing. You should see the shit he sends me in PM. He's got places a man shouldn't have places, and that shit you see in there is downright Seussian.

5. Himuro was born with both sets of kit, as it were. His parents opted out of gender-elective surgery, and the clitoris grew into a fully-formed 3 inch penis. The vagina only engorges and "activates" when Sega is involved. Mupepe frequently seduces the "Himumu" half by posing naked with a life-sized Sonic Adventure standee.

6. Bz/G was actually being honest. He actually *is* a West Coast playboy with hot nurse neighbors that let him mount them atop a mound of freshly-baked brownies and unsold PlayStation 3s at 2AM, and he has a personal jet AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA WHAT SERIOUSLY WHAT THE FUCK BZ

7. Drinky Crow is Andrew Vestal. The moogle suit was REAL. There's a hole cut out for the cock in that suit, chappies, and let's just say tricks and treats were parcelled out in equal measure that night!

8. Demi is very saucy. It's amazing how many Evilboreans of all stripes and walks of life want to fuck him. Seriously; you'd be shocked.

9. The Dark Shake really is as unpleasantly shrill as he reads. His reedy harelip voice and his breathy fatguy syncopation are ghastly to hear. It's a shame they aren't casting a sequel to The Name of the Rose, because he seriously needs to be put in a burlap chausible and added to the scenery.

10. PhoenixDark is GAF's own Johnny Nighttrain. No joke.

Vizzys · « **Reply #1 on:** March 05, 2007, 09:46:18 PM »

ctrl+f viz

I want my own fact.

Beezy · « **Reply #2 on:** March 05, 2007, 09:47:12 PM »

Quote from: Viz on March 05, 2007, 09:46:18 PM

ctrl+f viz

I want my own fact.

bagofeyes · « **Reply #3 on:** March 05, 2007, 09:47:25 PM »

shocking revelations

Saint Cornelius · « **Reply #4 on:** March 05, 2007, 09:48:54 PM »

Quote from: Drinky Crow on March 05, 2007, 09:45:04 PM

The Cornhole Yen.

pwned. :'(

Mupepe · « **Reply #5 on:** March 05, 2007, 09:50:24 PM »

I've been bangin Himumu since 7th grade.

Robo · « **Reply #6 on:** March 05, 2007, 09:54:36 PM »

The Malek stuff is believable. I bet he hates John Lennon too.

bagofeyes · « **Reply #7 on:** March 05, 2007, 09:56:08 PM »

Ive never met anyone from a forum in real life, and think you're all nuts

Van Cruncheon · « **Reply #8 on:** March 05, 2007, 09:56:43 PM »

but would you, y'know, with one of us, y'know...

...

...

Flannel Boy · « **Reply #9 on:** March 05, 2007, 09:57:19 PM »

Drinky doesn't know anything. I'm already in my 60's.

Van Cruncheon · « **Reply #10 on:** March 05, 2007, 09:58:14 PM »

that's a good dye job, then!

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #11 on:** March 05, 2007, 09:59:54 PM »

Johnny Nighttrain is in the presense of hot models at least twice a week. There's no way I could pull that off, and it's not like I'm as ugly as him either

demi · « **Reply #12 on:** March 05, 2007, 10:01:39 PM »

warcock · « **Reply #13 on:** March 05, 2007, 10:04:49 PM »

I LoLed.

Flannel Boy · « **Reply #14 on:** March 05, 2007, 10:12:23 PM »

Quote from: Drinky Crow on March 05, 2007, 09:58:14 PM

that's a good dye job, then!

This is actually my son:

He hits on several women each day before breakfast. Though it's all a cover, he's a big homo.

Mupepe · « **Reply #15 on:** March 05, 2007, 10:15:36 PM »

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v219/dirk_diggler_41/11111111111111111.jpg

Flannel Boy · « **Reply #16 on:** March 05, 2007, 10:17:47 PM »

It's Nowitzki's nickname and jersey #.

I mean

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #17 on:** March 05, 2007, 10:21:21 PM »

Why is Malek so obsessed with German men?

Flannel Boy · « **Reply #18 on:** March 05, 2007, 10:23:39 PM »

Quote from: Phoenix Dark on March 05, 2007, 10:21:21 PM

Why is Malek so obsessed with German men?

They're so sexy.

Hegel

Kant

Nietzsche's mustache

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #19 on:** March 05, 2007, 10:24:56 PM »

Less Hegel, more Dobson

omg_lemurs · « **Reply #20 on:** March 05, 2007, 10:32:46 PM »

Drinky Crow: Not funny.

Cloudwalking: The nicest person here along with Vagabond if he still posts and Shuri. Jaroshs' velvet love pocket.

Warcock: I could pwn him in CS. Lebanon has good food<3

Willco: Not funny.

MAF: Not funny.

Demi: Cute, socially distinguished mentally-challenged.

Jarosh: Cloudwalkings love pillow.

Drinky Crow: Not funny.

Catz: Her face looks like a face mapped poorly onto an enemy in Goldeneye or Perfect Dark

Prost: Douche bag.

Van Cruncheon · « **Reply #21 on:** March 05, 2007, 10:38:06 PM »

don't hate, my little scabby princess; appreciate

bagofeyes · « **Reply #22 on:** March 05, 2007, 10:39:10 PM »

Yes, let's all appreciate each other. Are we not all human beings?

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #23 on:** March 05, 2007, 10:42:25 PM »

Quote from: omg_lemurs on March 05, 2007, 10:32:46 PM

Drinky Crow: Can't complain (anymore)

Cloudwalking: Nice but I don't understand why she likes people who don't care about her

Warcock: I might be his lawyer in 20 years

Willco: Not funny.

MAF: Knows food. Friends, not so much

Demi: Stupid, socially distinguished mentally-challenged.

Jarosh: Cloudwalkings love pillow.

Catz: Most striking face I've ever seen

Prost: Lucky mother fucker

Fixed

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #24 on:** March 05, 2007, 10:42:38 PM »

Quote from: omg_lemurs on March 05, 2007, 10:32:46 PM

Demi: Cute, socially distinguished mentally-challenged.

We prefer to be called socially inept thank you very much.

Quote from: omg_lemurs on March 05, 2007, 10:32:46 PM

Catz: Her face looks like a face mapped poorly onto an enemy in Goldeneye or Perfect Dark

rrrooooowww.....goddamn it how do you make the catty noise on the internet?

Mupepe · « **Reply #25 on:** March 05, 2007, 10:43:43 PM »

Quote from: omg_lemurs on March 05, 2007, 10:32:46 PM

Catz: Her face looks like a face mapped poorly onto an enemy in Goldeneye or Perfect Dark

Imma fuck you up bitch!

demi · « **Reply #26 on:** March 05, 2007, 10:46:12 PM »

How am I socially distinguished mentally-challenged?

Van Cruncheon · « **Reply #27 on:** March 05, 2007, 10:51:08 PM »

demi, lemurs.

warcock · « **Reply #28 on:** March 05, 2007, 10:52:28 PM »

Quote from: omg_lemurs on March 05, 2007, 10:32:46 PM

Warcock: I could pwn him in CS. Lebanon has good food<3

i severly doubt it, id take you and your cal p douchebag anyday of the week.

demi · « **Reply #29 on:** March 05, 2007, 10:55:17 PM »

Quote from: Drinky Crow on March 05, 2007, 10:51:08 PM

demi, lemurs.

I just want to hear her reasoning. Coming from someone who has a plethora of usernames under many services and forums, it's just incredibly hard to bear, and I just wanted to use the bear in a sentence, mmm someone post the Nick ballerina pic again please.

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #30 on:** March 05, 2007, 10:57:33 PM »

Quote from: demi on March 05, 2007, 10:01:39 PM

(Image removed from quote.)

There you go Demi.

Van Cruncheon · « **Reply #31 on:** March 05, 2007, 10:58:50 PM »

i vaguely recall her being somewhat civil and nonjudgmental at some point early in her internet career. it might be a trick of the imagination. shame the opa-ages manchild brigade was too grossly incompetent at the internet to effectively shut her pretentious ass down, and she got her head pumped full of reactionary self-validation. ah well. not everyone gets to be an astronaut!

omg_lemurs · « **Reply #32 on:** March 05, 2007, 10:59:04 PM »

Demi have you ever had a girlfriend... or boyfriend?

What did you do last weekend?

warcock · « **Reply #33 on:** March 05, 2007, 10:59:26 PM »

What are these mofucking c cups?

omg_lemurs · « **Reply #34 on:** March 05, 2007, 11:01:06 PM »

Quote from: Drinky Crow on March 05, 2007, 10:58:50 PM

i vaguely recall her being somewhat civil and nonjudgmental at some point early in her internet career. it might be a trick of the imagination. shame the opa-ages manchild brigade was too grossly incompetent at the internet to effectively shut her pretentious ass down, and she got her head pumped full of reactionary self-validation. ah well. not everyone gets to be an astronaut!

Look. You be startin the shit. I bringin it cuz you already been brought it. K?

I wonder why I might have changed and become slightly more bitter. It's not like I haven't been put down constantly from every person on GAF or Opa-Ages for the last 3 or 4 years.

demi · « **Reply #35 on:** March 05, 2007, 11:02:45 PM »

Quote from: omg_lemurs on March 05, 2007, 10:59:04 PM

Demi have you ever had a girlfriend... or boyfriend?

What did you do last weekend?

Nope

Last weekend? I packed up because I was heading to Florida for the week.

I don't see how this makes me socially distinguished mentally-challenged, though. You could stop floundering about and pestering Cloudwalking and I, that could help me relax and go outside without fear of you.

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #36 on:** March 05, 2007, 11:03:28 PM »

see I don't get why you guys banned foc yet lemurs stays? is it because she's cute and he's an ogre? I'm calling prejudice here.

...Prejudice!!!

Vizzys · « **Reply #37 on:** March 05, 2007, 11:04:24 PM »

you shall not mention foc again.

demi · « **Reply #38 on:** March 05, 2007, 11:04:36 PM »

Quote from: warcock on March 05, 2007, 10:59:26 PM

What are these mofucking c cups?

You talking about Nick? Yeah, they are nice huh?

Van Cruncheon · « **Reply #39 on:** March 05, 2007, 11:05:37 PM »

i always be startin' the shit. that's a given. this isn't about me versus you. this is about you versus everyone else who doesn't get a kick out of trollin' your hoochie ass.

you get put down because you overextend yourself and can't back it up. we all been there; only difference is you been there for three fuckin' years

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #40 on:** March 05, 2007, 11:05:46 PM »

Once I get my mouse we'll play some FPS and see who's the shit

omg_lemurs · « **Reply #41 on:** March 05, 2007, 11:05:58 PM »

Quote from: demi on March 05, 2007, 11:02:45 PM

Quote from: omg_lemurs on March 05, 2007, 10:59:04 PM
Demi have you ever had a girlfriend... or boyfriend?

What did you do last weekend?

Nope

Last weekend? I packed up because I was heading to Florida for the week.

I don't see how this makes me socially distinguished mentally-challenged, though. You could stop floundering about and pestering Cloudwalking and I, that could help me relax and go outside without fear of you.

I haven't said anything to you in a... very long time. If I bother cloudwalking she can tell me herself but as it stands I sincerely doubt that. But thanks for making me question one of the only people on the internet I don't feel creeped out talking to.

omg_lemurs · « **Reply #42 on:** March 05, 2007, 11:06:45 PM »

Quote from: Drinky Crow on March 05, 2007, 11:05:37 PM

i always be startin' the shit. that's a given. this isn't about me versus you. this is about you versus everyone else who doesn't get a kick out of trollin' your hoochie ass.

you get put down because you overextend yourself and can't back it up. we all been there; only difference is you been there for three fuckin' years

Overextend myself?

The least you can do is explain yourself and make a little sense.

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #43 on:** March 05, 2007, 11:08:28 PM »

Quote from: Viz on March 05, 2007, 11:04:24 PM

you shall not mention foc again.

foc. thats what you get for betting me in break out.

Van Cruncheon · « **Reply #44 on:** March 05, 2007, 11:09:27 PM »

you make assertions your experience and knowledge can't back up. you want people to respect you on the internet, like you have something above the average to offer, and yet you fail to provide us with any tangible reason to agree. you always sound like you're trying oh so hard, and that makes us want to pick on you

so needy! but nothing to offer~!

bagofeyes · « **Reply #45 on:** March 05, 2007, 11:10:40 PM »

You're like the little snotty brat sister who everyone loves to tease

warcock · « **Reply #46 on:** March 05, 2007, 11:11:12 PM »

Lemurs why the fuck are so damn defensive. OMG YOUR E-REPUTATION IS AT STAKE, FUTURE E-ELECTIONS ON THE LINE WHICH MIGHT DESTROY E-EGO. God cant you just lol at things. You fail at lol which makes me question your lollitude. Cant you see that is what makes you so easy and fun to troll. God. I refuse to believe that you can aim at cs, you cant even perceive your targets! GOD!

Van Cruncheon · « **Reply #47 on:** March 05, 2007, 11:13:34 PM »

warcock is the king of rolftopia and the lord of lolistan

long live the reign of chairman lmao

cloudwalking · « **Reply #48 on:** March 05, 2007, 11:15:49 PM »

Quote from: Phoenix Dark on March 05, 2007, 10:42:25 PM

Quote from: omg_lemurs on March 05, 2007, 10:32:46 PM
Drinky Crow: Can't complain (anymore)

Cloudwalking: Nice but I don't understand why she likes people who don't care about her

Warcock: I might be his lawyer in 20 years

Willco: Not funny.

MAF: Knows food. Friends, not so much

Demi: Stupid, socially distinguished mentally-challenged.

Jarosh: Cloudwalkings love pillow.

Catz: Most striking face I've ever seen

Prost: Lucky mother fucker

Fixed

hey, he cares about me

warcock · « **Reply #49 on:** March 05, 2007, 11:17:56 PM »

He really does. Chocolate is caring, caring is chocolate. The only thing i would offer lauren is half an hour lodging on my property for pipelaying and accessories.

demi · « **Reply #50 on:** March 05, 2007, 11:21:02 PM »

Quote from: cloudwalking on March 05, 2007, 11:15:49 PM

hey, he cares about me

Try not to come off too needy, now.

BlackMage · « **Reply #51 on:** March 05, 2007, 11:21:23 PM »

Mupepe, Himuro, Phoenix Dark: The awesomest 3 dudes on the internet.

Demi: probably the worst.

Van Cruncheon · « **Reply #52 on:** March 05, 2007, 11:22:44 PM »

is demi really worse than me, you pidgin gimp

cloudwalking · « **Reply #53 on:** March 05, 2007, 11:23:32 PM »

you know what they say, chocolate is the fastest way to a girl's heart

warcock · « **Reply #54 on:** March 05, 2007, 11:24:41 PM »

Quote from: BlackMage on March 05, 2007, 11:21:23 PM

Mupepe, Himuro, Phoenix Dark: The awesomest 3 dudes on the internet.

awesomest?

He who learns must suffer. And even in our sleep pain that cannot forget falls drop by drop upon the heart, and in our own despair, against our will, comes wisdom to us by the awful grace of God.
Aeschylus

Quote from: cloudwalking on March 05, 2007, 11:23:32 PM