Pallando will return in "Never Say Never Again"

[Human Snorenado]

She replied "Hey! Sorry, I'm meeting up with another friend tmrw night. Perhaps another time!"

Of course any well-socialized male is supposed to recognize this as a polite rejection, but I decided to take it literally and replied "When is good for you? I'm pretty open most evenings."

Life is too short. I'm taking all the low-percentage shots.

A true Kobe fan

[Mupepe]

So of course she didn't reply. If she had actually meant "perhaps another time", she would have suggested a time. Three times this year alone I've gotten a fake yes. It's enough to mentally prepare yourself for a no, now we guys have to be ready for a yes that doesn't actually mean yes? And of course I can never call anyone out on this. I can never just come out and say "Hey I get it. But in the future, if another guy asks you out and you don't want to go with him, just tell him honestly that you aren't interested. It will save both of you a world of stress." But I can't say that, because that would be weird, or even creepy. I just have to accept that this is how human interactions work sometimes.

Well, onto the next one. All things considered, asking out a classmate wasn't that bad, and I can easily do it again.

Nailed it.  This kind of BS is not specific to this situation either.  It's this way with all sorts of social interactions, not just dating.  Being okay with it will set you free, bro.

[Rufus]

Well sure. I'm certain all of us have agreed with some old friend that "we need to catch up" or "you should come over for dinner sometime" and it never happens. I feel like the difference is in those situations both people know it's kind of bullshit with a remote likelihood of ever happening.

Well, yes. Why would it be any different for two strangers?

[Mupepe]

Yep.  Most adults just find polite ways to avoid awkward conversations.  We all know that if someone really wants to hang out or go on a date with you they will make an obvious effort and not just gestures. 

[MyNameIsMethodis]

I can't stand my gf anymore, I have to get rid of her. I work too much, am starting another job, and she literally has no friends so she constantly wants to hang out or talk to me. I've been ignoring her for two weeks hoping she gets the fucking point but she doesn't. I need to dump her but for some reason I can't even though I really want to. 

Is it real bad if I dump her over text? Also is it bad if I dump her before she has to go to work? I don't know what to do. This sux.

[Phoenix Dark]

Post pics so I can give educated advice.

[Huff]

Yep.  Most adults just find polite ways to avoid awkward conversations.  We all know that if someone really wants to hang out or go on a date with you they will make an obvious effort and not just gestures.

It's similar to the word maybe and how it never means maybe. It means no

[MyNameIsMethodis]

she lives a half hour away i dont want to fucking drive that to her house and she keeps knifes

[MyNameIsMethodis]

i drive a ford exploer thats like $30 just to dump her and not evne get a blowie

[Mupepe]

Jesus.  Meet her someplace public.  Make her meet you there so you don't have to ride together afterwards.  Make sure to say "It's not you, it's me.  I'm about to start a new job and I just don't have time for a girlfriend.  I wish I did."  And most importantly stick to your damn guns.  If you wanna break up through text you're probably a pussy so there's a very high chance she'll talk you into giving her another chance.

Whatever happens, post it here.

spoiler (click to show/hide)

Don't actually say "It's not you, it's me."

[close]

[Positive Touch]

dump her over text because it will be funnier that way

[MyNameIsMethodis]

yeah. should i dump her before she works tho or wait until she has a day off

[Human Snorenado]

True dick move would be to go over to her place and get some/fool around, then drop the "lol dumping you" bomb on your way out the door

[MyNameIsMethodis]

yeah I wouldnt do that though part of the problem i want to dump her is i dont want sex nearly as much as she does. thats literally all we did when we hung out.

[Howard Alan Treesong]

True dick move would be to go over to her place and get some/fool around, then drop the "lol dumping you" bomb on your way out the door

I did the SSJ3 level of that, where you invite her over to your place to get some/fool around, then drop the "lol dumping you" bomb on HER way out YOUR door

[demi]

I've not posted in this thread in a while, but I thought I would update since Demi, Jaybo, and Bloodwake are the only ones on the Bore that see my crap on Facebook.

I've been dating the same girl I met from OKC since April.  Things are going really well.  So well, that I began paying on an engagement ring back in September and finally paid it off.  She has no clue that I've already got one, but we have talked about marriage and she wants to. 

Still working on meeting her parents.  They live over an hour away and our schedules just haven't lined up for it.  I'm a traditionalist, so I'm not going to propose until after I have met her parents and have had a chance to ask her father for his blessing.

She loves my son and he loves her back.

All is well.

You do seem to enjoy her company. You lay the pipe yet?

[brawndolicious]

Breaking up was one of the perks of smoking. Cigarettes have a time limit so when you do sit someone down and explain to them why you have to break up, you have a little ten minute stop watch in your hand. Granted I would always use at least 2-3, and the first was just for beating around the bush small talk.

Do it face-to-face, it's supposed to be cathartic. And yes, you have to be completely honest about how much attention you're actually looking for in a girlfriend. Don't try to put the blame on yourself or say "I'm just not that into you anymore" or some bullshit. Honesty will set you free.

[MyNameIsMethodis]

yeah. she almost called me out on my bluff today "I know babe. I'm sorry if I took things the wrong way but in my experience when people act the way you've been it means I'm about to be dumped so I was getting a little paranoid." 

looks like tomorrow might be the day  thnx for help all

[Phoenix Dark]

You should definitely go now. She might be more inclined to smash if she thinks you're gonna dump her.

 

[Mupepe]

But he doesn't care about getting his dick wet. Make it easy on her. Have a friend send you some dirty texts and make it seems like you're cheating. She will be happy to be rid of you and you'll do her a favor

[MyNameIsMethodis]

I was thinking about that, but shes never checke dmy texts or anything. our relationship is weird.

[Mupepe]

You gotta make it too obvious to resist. Get a text and leave it on the screen and right in front of her. Do this after you receive a call from your friend where you have a very awkward conversation. Like "yeah. Yeah. I really want to but I don't know if I can. I'll try ok? No promises. Yeah I gotta see if I can get away somehow. I do too. Bye" and then when she asks who it was or what it was about say "nothing. No one.". Then get the text, leave it up on the phone and go to the bathroom.

[Mupepe]

And the text should say "I can't wait to suck your dick tonight baby"  bam!

[MyNameIsMethodis]

that sounds like a great idea i might steal that if only for the fact that she carries fucking knives and her dad lives above her

[Human Snorenado]

That changes the equation a bit.  A phone call will suffice.

[Mupepe]

You're doing this in public, bro. Don't be an amateur and do it at her place.

[Groogrux]

I've not posted in this thread in a while, but I thought I would update since Demi, Jaybo, and Bloodwake are the only ones on the Bore that see my crap on Facebook.

I've been dating the same girl I met from OKC since April.  Things are going really well.  So well, that I began paying on an engagement ring back in September and finally paid it off.  She has no clue that I've already got one, but we have talked about marriage and she wants to. 

Still working on meeting her parents.  They live over an hour away and our schedules just haven't lined up for it.  I'm a traditionalist, so I'm not going to propose until after I have met her parents and have had a chance to ask her father for his blessing.

She loves my son and he loves her back.

All is well.

You do seem to enjoy her company. You lay the pipe yet?

Haha no.  Waiting.

[demi]

The blue balls must be atrocious

[Mupepe]

I can be direct and what you perceive to be combative to you because I am big and intimidating, but if I were a small, beautiful, delicate woman , I would definitely ignore you until you went away. You give off creepy vibes over the internet—I can't imagine what they must be like in real life mixed with your desperate pheromones.

And did you really just use my real name? Do you see what I mean about creepy?

This cracks me up

[Phoenix Dark]

I can be direct and what you perceive to be combative to you because I am big and intimidating, but if I were a small, beautiful, delicate woman , I would definitely ignore you until you went away. You give off creepy vibes over the internet—I can't imagine what they must be like in real life mixed with your desperate pheromones.

And did you really just use my real name? Do you see what I mean about creepy?

[brob]

:mollywater

[Mupepe]

Don't let them rustle your jimmies, dude.  Just spit back or joke about it and move on.  I think this has happened to everyone at some point here on The Bore but the only difference is that after years of being here you still let it get to you.

[Raban]

Edit: I want to clarify something. I'm not angry. I also hold absolutely no ill will against the girl in question, and I'm sure we'll remain friends. I'm just disappointed and discouraged, because for a few hours after that moment in the hallway I was happier than I can remember being in years, and then it was like Lucy pulled the football away.

Not angry about what happened. Kind of pissed off by people liking posts in which I am called creepy, immature, etc.

It's because there are 3.5 billion women on this planet and this is your reaction to being turned down by one. What if she's a cunt? Obviously it wasn't going to work out in the first place if the two of you can't even communicate enough to have one date. Here's my piece of dating advice, though take it with a grain of salt because I'm as virginal as the day I was born: dating doesn't require this much effort. People are either interested, or they aren't. Don't make it a federal affair when you find out a woman isn't into you. The odds are most of them probably aren't

[Phoenix Dark]

Also, DIAF, Brobzoid. And Raban.

Edit: I want to clarify something. I'm not angry.

(Image removed from quote.)

Not angry about what happened. Kind of pissed off by people liking posts in which I am called creepy, immature, etc.

Dude, you threaten people online with violence and advocate sterilization to prevent the spreading of potentially low IQ gene pools. I'm a straight dude obsessed with BBC porn and even I find you weird.

[Mandark]

Can't be telling folks to die in a fire over the internet and getting rustled when people think you're immature.  C'mon.  Take a breath.

[Mupepe]

Also, DIAF, Brobzoid. And Raban.

Edit: I want to clarify something. I'm not angry.

(Image removed from quote.)

Not angry about what happened. Kind of pissed off by people liking posts in which I am called creepy, immature, etc.

Dude, you threaten people online with violence and advocate sterilization to prevent the spreading of potentially low IQ gene pools. I'm a straight dude obsessed with BBC porn and even I find you weird.

Do you think I'm weird?

[Mandark]

I suppose I could be creepy. I can certainly give off those vibes on the internet, although I filter my thoughts much less on a forum like The Bore than I do in real life or anywhere my actual name is attached to posts. Intuitively, I don't think I would have so many female friends if I genuinely give off a creepy vibe a lot of the time, and I haven't been confronted about it by anyone. Given that I know of a few people who have been confronted by others about their creepy behavior, I'd like to think that at least one of my friends would let me know if I'd been giving off a bunch of creepy vibes, but I could be wrong.

It's possible that I'm not creepy most of the time, but then I subconsciously become creepy once I'm interested in a girl. That's something to think about. I think I've seen enough examples of how girls react around genuinely creepy guys to say that I really don't think any girls have reacted to me in that way, but again, I could be wrong.

It's situational.  You might project as a normal, well-adjusted dude in most social and academic situations, but if you're persisting when a girl feels that she's shown a lack of interest (even if it's in a roundabout, passive aggressive way), she'll be apt to interpret your behavior as creepy.

Creepiness isn't an innate characteristic that could be bred out of the population, like low IQ.

spoiler (click to show/hide)

[close]

[MyNameIsMethodis]

i couildnt do it im such a fukkin coward ugh atleast i managed to act distant and left early god this sucks

[Mupepe]

i couildnt do it im such a fukkin coward ugh atleast i managed to act distant and left early god this sucks

You tried your best.  Now do it through texts.  Or emails.  Or use a backdoor number to whoever her carrier is and leave a voicemail (I did this when I was like 19).

[MyNameIsMethodis]

ty for the support i really really appreciate it

[chronovore]

Check your gender privilege and quit your whining. Like Cowbell said, if every girl was direct in their rejections to men, then the big, immature, insane ones would beat and rape them. Passive aggressiveness is a survival trait.

I'd actually call it "non-confrontational" but I completely agree that it's a survival trait. Margaret Atwood said, "Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them." The power imbalance is there, both socially and physically, and yet men consistently feel entitled to complete, reckless honesty.

Guess what: Actively not showing interest in a male is complete honesty. The desire for a definitive moment, for conclusive proof that the woman is not interested, that's a male thing. The woman has given you all the clues, we're able to solve this mystery for ourselves. Some of us are just stuck in denial longer than others.

I knew I was going to break up with my Korean ex at least a month before I did it, and I kept chickening out. When I finally mustered the courage, she really freaked the fuck out. Hopefully your experience goes better than mine did.

So what would you call your unwillingness to confront your Ex with they fact that you wanted to break up? What dissuaded you from just telling her?

[CatsCatsCats]

Methodis, if there's anything I learned from my first long, serious relationship, it's that being with someone you don't want to be with is hell for both of you. Just go ahead and pull the trigger on a text or email if that's how you gotta do it.

[CatsCatsCats]

And yeah, you can't expect girls to be overt, and sometimes them not being overt results in you catching the feels. You just gotta learn that if a girl isn't responding well, you move on. Being less persistent is a better way to connect to someone as a human being and not just an object of desire.

[chronovore]

Ah, well, that's the last time I try to help, or engage you for awhile. Enjoy your time in the PLONK Box.

[Atramental]

[Mupepe]

Whatever, Wrath.

Anyway, it's clear that the consensus on this forum is that there's absolutely nothing wrong with girls giving fake yes answers, so I won't keep arguing, because I honestly don't give a fuck. I'll keep the possibility in mind in all future endeavors and try not to get excited at all until I'm putting a ring on it or something.

what we are saying is that women do it as a result of the way our social structure is set up. We are also saying that normal people suck it up and realize its nothing personal and that this is the way this particular social dynamic works. You don't have to make a fuss every time it happens. The healthy thing is to say "well too bad for her that she didn't get to feel my wiener inside her" or something and not give it another thought. Ya know?

[Mandark]

I think the consensus on this forum is less "it's totally okay to say yes when you mean no" than "sometimes when people say no they feel pressure to say yes while signalling no in other ways, which can be confusing, but once you recognize this and learn to deal with the world as it is and look for those signs, you'll be much better off than by stubbornly holding other people to your own particular standards of behavior."

[Human Snorenado]

Glen, take a break from the internet for a while. For yourself.

[brob]

let's remember to stay posi brehs

[lennedsay]

I'm dying.

This isn't even going to help cause he's raging already, but chicks also don't want to make the situation more awkward than it already is. If you see this chick on a regular basis - work, school, whatever - the chances for a "yea maybe we can hang out sometime" are high. If you flat out turn a guy down, there's usually only a few outcomes, none of which are positive. You get the persistent dude who keeps trying to change your mind, or the rager who gets pissed, or the overcompensator who goes out of his way to show how he's doing better without you. Its full of awkward no matter the outcome.

It should be telling that girls encounter so many creepy dudes that they feel like they have to react this way to any guy they're not into. They're just praying a guy will forget about them and go onto the next chick so that they don't end up duct taped in a basement somewhere.

[Phoenix Dark]

Fuck yourself, you smug POS. Like I give a fuck about some ancient expat's "plonk box".

[Human Snorenado]

You realize you bring this on yourself, right? 

Serious advice:  consider therapy.  I'm not saying this glibly or in an insulting manner.  I think having a professional to talk to about things would be beneficial for you.

[Atramental]

We rib you because we care, GS.

[Human Snorenado]

Also- someone in here is acting like an idiot, but it ain't any of us.

(ok, other than methodis)

[lennedsay]

Wants women to be more direct; pissed when people are direct

:deadpos

[Positive Touch]

awesome-o how many of these would you say describe yourself?

http://www.babble.com/babble-voices/a-focused-life-me-ra-koh/13-characteristics-of-a-date-rapist-a-list-you-need-to-share/

[brawndolicious]

All I can say is this would be an amazing satirical version of What Women Want.

[Phoenix Dark]

I really don't see what's confusing or unfair about a woman not showing interest. You act like she's supposed to send you a rejection notice on a letterhead or some shit...

I've missed signals from women who liked me, multiple times. But I have NEVER missed a signal that a woman didn't like me. It's pretty obvious.

[Human Snorenado]

I've missed plenty of signals from women... mostly when I was younger. I'd either hear from it about them later down the road or they'd get sick of waiting and be like, "Hey dipshit, date me," and I'd be all "word."

Which makes my most recent ladyfriend (imagine that, I've been kind of seriously seeing this woman for a month now and for some reason DIDN'T FEEL THE NEED TO TELL THE WORLD ABOUT IT) so awesome- we both knew we were pretty into each other like, almost immediately.

[Shadow Mod]

I'm dying.

This isn't even going to help cause he's raging already, but chicks also don't want to make the situation more awkward than it already is. If you see this chick on a regular basis - work, school, whatever - the chances for a "yea maybe we can hang out sometime" are high. If you flat out turn a guy down, there's usually only a few outcomes, none of which are positive. You get the persistent dude who keeps trying to change your mind, or the rager who gets pissed, or the overcompensator who goes out of his way to show how he's doing better without you. Its full of awkward no matter the outcome.

It should be telling that girls encounter so many creepy dudes that they feel like they have to react this way to any guy they're not into. They're just praying a guy will forget about them and go onto the next chick so that they don't end up duct taped in a basement somewhere.

Being upfront and honest to the wrong dude nets you a stalker. It's happened to myself and a couple others. I don't even want to go there.

We are "nice" because honesty means you're a cunt when it doesn't go their way and they're going to ruin you because of it.

It's really upsetting that a bunch of men who consider themselves "better than that" can't come to the realization that a bunch of fucking creepers and stalkers fucked it up for you, NOT US.