Pallando will return in "Never Say Never Again"

[Shaka Khan]

next time remember this important quote
(Image removed from quote.)

The kerning gave me cancer.

[Tasty]

That's some shitty ass kerning alright

[chronovore]

She was good-to-go, ready with handjob lube next to the bed, but abandoned the duty once a lint ball was discovered? Lame. If you're still hard and she stops tugging over that, that's not a relationship which is going to go anywhere.

[hampster]

Making a big deal about kerning. Oh that's real attractive. Must be drowning in the genitalia

[Tasty]

Hipsters are slutes

[tiesto]

Making a big deal about kerning. Oh that's real attractive. Must be drowning in the genitalia

My girlfriend complained about the kerning on a sign on the LIRR. I had no idea wtf she was talking about before she explained (she's a web designer)... so I guess Andrex needs to find a designer girl or something and impress her with his kerning knowledge

[Atramental]

Making a big deal about kerning. Oh that's real attractive. Must be drowning in the genitalia

Graphic designer genitalia.

spoiler (click to show/hide)

Actually, most designers I've met so far I wouldn't fuck if they were the last wet hole on earth. 

[close]

[Human Snorenado]

Oops.

[Human Snorenado]

Who's the lucky guy?

Check your CIS privilege, sir

[Huff]

Tinder is so much better is a college town. MD, Vet, JD, etc students all on it. Time to work on my trophy husband status

[Rahxephon91]

I know this is a very lame question ,but I'm a newbie. So how do you tell if a girl is interested in you? I've been pretty bad at telling at all if a women is slightly interested in me.

[nudemacusers]

if you have to ask, ask her out

[Cerveza mas fina]

If she is ok with anal

[ToxicAdam]

I would just ask her best friend, she will know. Also, it will be a good way to signal your interest.

[Phoenix Dark]

I know this is a very lame question ,but I'm a newbie. So how do you tell if a girl is interested in you? I've been pretty bad at telling at all if a women is slightly interested in me.

gauge her view of interracial porn.

[TakingBackSunday]

Motherfuck, I burrowed my way into friend zone status with a girl I've been hanging out with.  Mehhhhhhhhhhhh.  She's a friend from college that has been hanging around with my roommate as of late and her and I started hanging out a bunch together over the last three weeks or so.  She's been over pretty much every other day or so, hanging out with ONLY me, and shit was going really well.  Physical contact, sex eyes, it was going well 

The other night she had a shitty night at work and was texting me saying how crappy she felt, blah.  Decided I'd stop by the florist and buy her some flowers.  I head home and wait for her to come over to hang.  She never does.  She ends up going out for drinks and then heading to her ex boyfriends place and stays the night

She comes around the next day and sees the flowers I got her.  They were in a coffee mug with water near the sink -- I had forgotten to throw them away.  "Aw you bought me flowers?  You are the sweetest person!  No one has bought me flowers since high school."  We end up hanging out all night watching TV on opposite ends of the couch and she takes her flowers home.

Should've thrown that shit away   Upset that I find myself in this situation, and upset that I couldn't have picked up on that earlier.  Radio silence from me for the next few days in regards to talking to her.

[Human Snorenado]

ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED:

EMOTIONAL TAMPON

[Steve Contra]

I think you misread "sex eyes" as "her looking at you"

[Phoenix Dark]

Decided I'd stop by the florist and buy her some flowers. 

I head home and wait for her to come over to hang.  She never does.  She ends up going out for drinks and then heading to her ex boyfriends place and stays the night

"Aw you bought me flowers?  You are the sweetest person!  No one has bought me flowers since high school."  We end up hanging out all night watching TV on opposite ends of the couch and she takes her flowers home.

[TakingBackSunday]

yeah yeah yeah

[Tasty]

Next time, write her a heroic crown of sonnets.

[Phoenix Dark]

BrandKnew, I'm sorry but that's some simp shit. You are too handsome and emotionally/mentally normal to be doing that shit out here in these streets, my brother.

She was tired? Guess what, so were you. That doesn't make her special, or worthy of you spending money on her. Unless they're for your grandmother or wife, don't buy flowers. Just imagine, her ex is probably at her house right now. He casually sniffs the flowers and says "wow these smell bad." She playfully says "aww be nice, they're not THAT bad." And then they head to her room, where he proceeds to blow her back out. So tomorrow when she says the flowers make her place smell better, what she's really saying is that they partially mask the smell of pussy juice and fecal dust in the air.

[TakingBackSunday]

  I knew the flowers were a shitty idea.  still bought them for some ungodly reason

Listen I ain't mad.  It was a pretty casual circumstance, and I'm not losing sleep over this or anything.  Didn't end up the way I wanted, so whatever, onto the next one.  Been trying this Tinder shit and its very weird to me.  I've been around a bunch of female friends who are just always on it just for shits, so I'm surprised people actually go out for dates using it.  I have a couple dates scheduled in the next week or so, should be an entertaining experience.

[TakingBackSunday]

Oh I definitely did take her out.  Nice brunch place.  But I don't think she realized what I was trying to do, and I didn't realize THAT until it was too late.  Again, who gives a shit after all is said and done.

[chronovore]

Making a big deal about kerning. Oh that's real attractive. Must be drowning in the genitalia

http://xkcd.com/1015/

[brawndolicious]

The flower part was the only thing that really jumped out at me. Everybody gets some weird connection vibes going but actually picking up some flowers...and I'm guessing you paid for her brunch too just to be a gentleman?

[TakingBackSunday]

Duh  :'(

[Bebpo]

Been pretty stressed out lately (trying to work out a decent bit because actually afraid of having a heart attack) because of my gf's parents.  I've never been in a situation like this so don't really know if there's anyway to deal with it.  Basically my gf's parents (well her dad who makes the decisions) are stubborn traditional koreans who stay within the korean community and don't trust anyone who isn't in the community.  So they'd rather go to their friend of a friend whose a terrible doctor and pay an exorbitant fee than a normal doctor who is good and charges a normal amount.  Basically they've been making my gf getting proper treatment to heal from her major car accident last year difficult and consistently giving me headaches (the latest is that we were supposed to have a meeting with a health broker to show them better health insurance options for their family under obamacare, but now the dad won't even look because his insurance is "fine" and it would offend his friend who he gets insurance from if he changes insurance [ps, they have terrible insurance for the whole family]) and I've been working my butt off researching and making contact with attorneys because they just got sued for a ridiculous thing too and they're listening to what their friends in the community are telling them to do for legal advice instead of actual, you know, lawyers and getting all stressed out about going to jail and stuff which is not going to happen for a civil lawsuit.

I wouldn't get so worked up and stressed out about this if my gf wasn't still financially dependent on her parents so all their decisions, good or bad, affects her.  They pay her bills and pay for her education and even if we get married down the road I don't make enough to pay for college + grad school.  And she can't get a job part-time while she's in school right now because she's still pretty injured and is at physical therapy 3 times a week.  Hopefully she'll recover 99%ish this year and next year will be able to get a part-time job and become independent from her parents.  But right now if they go bankrupt, her college money is gone.  If they stay on a shitty insurance and then don't want to pay the $5,600 deductible, she gets screwed.  So besides just working at work a ton lately because work is busy, I'm spending lots of hours every week on weekdays/weekends trying to help her parents take care of all this stuff but then everytime we make some progress some "korean community" or "korean tradition" thing keeps them from doing the intelligent normal decision and messes up everything bring us back to square one.

And it sucks because my gf is awesome and rational and totally fights her parents to be the same but they don't really listen to her and they find it awkward listening to me for advice since I'm younger and not korean.  It's just been really stressful.  I'm not sure what you can do when your SO is still dependent on their parents and their parents are frustrating to deal with. 

I guess this is the problem with dating people in their early 20s, but I love my gf and she's awesome and we've made it through mountains of shit early on and things are pretty fantastic other than this. 

spoiler (click to show/hide)

ps, we sort of got engaged, but I've not told anyone yet (you guys are the first to know) cause we decided it would be wise to be a conditional engagement where it's not "active" until we first live with each other for like 3-5 months as a final test to make sure we can make it.  We're planning on moving in together in the summer.

[close]

[brob]

bebpo tells the best stories

[Phoenix Dark]

Grata Bepbo

One of the weirdest things I saw while working at a dental practice was how horrible the dental work of many immigrants was. Usually their American born children would drag them to us. We saw a Russian guy who had some type of jagged metal wire in his mouth to hold a crown in. It was constantly bleeding yet he seemed perfectly fine with it. His son said that he flew back to Russia to get it done, and the dentist was a good friend; he didn't want it removed because the Russian dentist would be insulted.

Ultimately we wound up not accepting him for fear of getting sued; his mouth looked horrible, and also like a big lawsuit waiting to happen.

[Oblivion]

Congrats, Bebpo!



Now for some not so pleasant news: I think I'm scared of women now.   


Check it out. So I have (or had, I guess) a female friend who I've known for about 3 years now. I have two jobs currently, and she too worked at both of them (we met at one job and she found a new job which she referred me to). She was very nice, pleasant, and fun to hang out with. After a while, I started to get the impression that she actually liked me. She would be very touchy feel-y, would smile for long periods of time around me, you know little things like that. I thought about tapping that every so often, mainly on accounta the fact that she had among the biggest knockers I'd ever seen up close, but passed on it cause her face was pretty fugly. So I thought we'd keep this professional for the most part.

Now here's where shit got real.

Last week a bunch of my co-workers were supposed to go to this comedy club where our receptionist was gonna perform a standup routine. I was set to go, but a bunch of things happened that just made it a bad time and so I had to bail out at the last minute. Well, apparently she REALLY didn't like that. That was last Saturday and she didn't speak to me at all until Friday. I get an e-mail from her and she basically says that she never wants to speak to me again.

Did I mention that this event wasn't even for her? And also that she's acting this way when we're just FRIENDS?! Can you imagine what would happen if we were actually dating?

Long story short: bitch is crazy and it looks like I  dodged a major bullet.

WTF women?! Why y'all so cray cray?

[Oblivion]

What's really shocking is that she was literally one of the nicest people I've ever met. To see her act like I ran over her fucking dog is just...

[Human Snorenado]

People are weird, man. I don't take anything for granted anymore. Last weekend I was out with a woman and when I suggested we go back to her place while we were out she got all pissed and snapped "I'm not going to fuck you!"

...flash forward like 2 hours later...

[Himu]

I want a bf. Badly. Now isn't a good time tho.

[tiesto]

Congrats Bebpuu~

[nudemacusers]

beepo congrats but do a real engagement not this wishywashy millennial stuff. i mean if you're willing to get engaged you've been around her house enough to know whether or not it's gonna work cohabitation-wise.

[Himu]

Wait, bepbo is engaged?!

My Bebpo. CONGRATS

[Phoenix Dark]

I want a bf. Badly. Now isn't a good time tho.

[Himu]

paws

[Phoenix Dark]

[Himu]

PD, thoughts on giving anal sex.

[Bebpo]

Thanks for all the congrats!  Yeah, it took me a while but I found an amazing person who wants to be with me for the long run and I couldn't be happier.  I got her Dangan Roppa (Trigger Happy Havoc) the other day for Vita and lent her my Vita and she played through it in like a week and loved it and is now reading the prequel novels.  She's cool and I love her

beepo congrats but do a real engagement not this wishywashy millennial stuff. i mean if you're willing to get engaged you've been around her house enough to know whether or not it's gonna work cohabitation-wise.

Nah, I agree.  I asked, she said yes.  But we both feel like we don't want to rush things, so we're gonna wait until later on in the year after we've moved in together to tell family and stuff.  She doesn't want to get married for like another 2-3 years because she wants to finish school so she has time to plan for the wedding and take time off whenever for the honeymoon.  Otoh, I'd like to get married sometime late 2015.  So we're gonna figure the exact timing out later on.  I'm not worried, as yeah, we know each other damn well at this point.  But we both want to be responsible, so we're gonna hold off letting people know for a bit.   

[Phoenix Dark]

PD, thoughts on giving anal sex.

I'd prefer oral, and jerking each other off with our thighs breh

[Himu]

That's not straight. Sorry.

[Phoenix Dark]

I can't think of anything straighter than making another man submit with your thighs.

[Himu]

I thought you were talking about the opposite

[CatsCatsCats]

Bebsy!!! Congrats!

[brawndolicious]

Normally when you flirt or talk a lot with a girl that's taken, they'll let it slip that they have a boyfriend. I can definitely be shy about communicating my intentions when I start feeling an interest in someone but does anyone know if someone who for instance grew up in Europe and whose primary language is not English would maybe not be sure how to put that out there?

I've known her for like 6 months but only really started to talk with her in the past month or so. Tried scouring Facebook already obviously so I guess the only thing to do is to wait and ask her out and see what happens. I'm suspicious because imo she's very pretty although she does kind of have an intimidating/seemingly cold personality.

[brawndolicious]

I'm saying that I've known her by name for that long you Harley fucking Race dick. Never seen or heard of anyone dating her so I'm confused if I'm too subtle and she's just nice.

Did not check Facebook until today.

[Phoenix Dark]

From: Am Nintenho
To: Girl

Hey girl, what is up with you this nice afternoon? I am thinking maybe we can do something fun, no? Perhaps we can watch an episode of Big Bang Theory, How I Met Your Mother, Downton Abbey, True Blood, Game Of Thrones, Sherlock, New Girl, Lost, or Parks & Rec. But if you did not pay the power bill haha we can read, perhaps one chapter from The Qur'an, Twilight, Harry Potter, The Help, Memoirs of a Geisha, or Jane Austen. We can do that at the park I believe.

Please respond back to me ok. If you forget my number remember it is on my Facebook.

[FatalT]

I've been dating my girlfriend for 6 months now. Yay!

[Oblivion]

So I go to the bar yesterday after work, and I meet these two very attractive girls. Turns out they're sisters and, while they were both good looking, the older sister was significantly hotter. The older one steps out towards the end of the night to smoke and I finally get a chance to properly chat with her. We seem to be hitting it off very well until the bouncer shows up and asks me if I needed to pay my tab since they were closing. I tell her I'd be right back and go in pay and get out. By the time I came back out, she was already walking towards her car, which I didn't see as a great sign, but still, decided to catch up with her and asked her for her number. She gives me her Facebook instead and allows me to have her send a friend request from an app on her phone. We hug and I tell her I'll hit her up some time.

I go home and send her a quick message about having a fun time talking with her. She hasn't responded, and I thought she might not have logged on yet, but I see that she's been posting on her timeline.

Am I digging too much into this? What should be my next move?

[Atramental]

"She gives me her Facebook instead and allows me to have her send a friend request from an app on her phone. We hug and I tell her I'll hit her up some time.

I go home and send her a quick message about having a fun time talking with her. She hasn't responded, and I thought she might not have logged on yet, but I see that she's been posting on her timeline."

 Ya blew it.

[Positive Touch]

you are already dead, dude

[Kara]

By the time I came back out, she was already walking towards her car, which I didn't see as a great sign, but still, decided to catch up with her and asked her for her number. She gives me her Facebook instead and allows me to have her send a friend request from an app on her phone.

 

[Oblivion]

Is it the fact that she gave me her FB instead of her number bad, or is it the message I sent?

Or both? D:

[fistfulofmetal]

at least your tried, bro. can't say as much over here. so props to you.

[Oblivion]

She just wasn't that into it in general, dude. You had to catch up with her, she wasn't sticking around for you etc.

Well yeah I thought about that too, but why'd she bother giving me any way of contacting her? She could have said she had a boyfriend or that she wasn't dating at the moment or whatever.

I mean, yeah giving someone you FB might not be the most intimate way of communicating, but still why bother?

[fistfulofmetal]

Well yeah I thought about that too, but why'd she bother giving me any way of contacting her? She could have said she had a boyfriend or that she wasn't dating at the moment or whatever.

I mean, yeah giving someone you FB might not be the most intimate way of communicating, but still why bother?

you would be surprised how many people would prefer to not be a dick and lie and instead just "give in" a little bit. doing what she does won't make her feel guilty but it allows her to easily ignore you.

[Atramental]

I mean, if you're cute enough maybe she'll have some casual sex with you in a couple of months after she breaks it off with another dude? 

spoiler (click to show/hide)

Nah, definitely not because there is absolutely no shortage of dick in the world. 

[close]