Pallando will return in "Never Say Never Again"

[CatsCatsCats]

Yeah, assuming the kid is grown up and doing fine on his own, I would go full mountain hermit.

[Human Snorenado]

Shit is fucking gross, weird and unnatural. Sadly, it turns out doing stand-up comedy around town is no way to lure them in when the majority of your act is about self-loathing.

 

That said, got a date Saturday (dinner and drinks) and then a coffee date (  ) on Tuesday morning.

[Kara]

Yeah, there's only one person for me. If that's not meant to be, I can just become this chap. I'm too old to care and too wracked by ennui to fake being someone different to get laid in the context of a meaningful relationship.

[Human Snorenado]

Ehhhh. I'm 38, dude. I'm pretty sure I'm older than you. And the notion of "the one" is horseshit, no matter how twee and precious you are. There's a sliding scale of suitability for partners depending on lots of shit. (for me, "willingness to put up with each other's shit" is paramount, but I'm just one asshole out here in the universe, ymmv)

[Kara]

I like how you reduce this to some vanity thing when my utter ridiculousness is well documented here. Being by myself is preferable to talking with people who don't follow my thought patterns, or even worse, politely tolerate them.

I'd also say that yes, for most people it's bullshit. Most people are babbies who have spent their entire lives mollycoddled by close contact and can't stare down the prospect of anything else. Viz. the institution of serial monogamy.

[Phoenix Dark]

The fact that Kara of all people believes only one person in the world is meant for him tells me that love is real. And powerful. And if you find it you can't let it go.


I am not in love. Nor am I dating. But I'm pretty happy with who I'm chilling with. And who knows maybe it'll become something else. At this point I've realized who I am right now as a 28 year old professional. I don't want to deal with families and commitments and expectations - I deal with enough of that shit at work, at least I get paid to deal with it there. It's like when you want a child but don't want to deal with the responsibility - you get a pet, or wait for a cool ass niece or nephew. In my case I just want to chill with someone who is cool, have feels, watch some Netflix, maybe go out to eat or to a movie or listen to each others hopes/dreams. But I also want to be alone without someone catching feelings or wondering where I am. That's what I have.

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't tempted to go for something more. Last week I sure as hell saw myself with this person for years - I saw a future, and by god I didn't run away.

[Phoenix Dark]

recognize yourself as a scumbag brehs

[Olivia Wilde Homo]

I came to the same realization after fucking expensive European hookers.  Even with the occasional dry spell, I still enjoy the single life much better overall.  Maybe if I thought I was running out of options I'd feel differently but to be honest, I don't think I will ever find myself in that position. 

Also dating isn't that bad at all.  I never really understood why some people whined about it. 

[brawndolicious]

Dating is fucked today because of the Internet which  sucks no matter who you are. When there's your height, ethnicity, and salary listed as filters, you know you are meeting people with warped expectations.

Shit is fucking gross, weird and unnatural. Sadly, it turns out doing stand-up comedy around town is no way to lure them in when the majority of your act is about self-loathing.

 

That said, got a date Saturday (dinner and drinks) and then a coffee date (  ) on Tuesday morning.

You see this actually sounds awesome because you know you're meeting people who have no expectation that you'll give some false bravado on the first date before finding a time to show how vulnerable you can be. Finding a way to be yourself with somebody is practically an accomplishment today.

[Human Snorenado]

I like how you reduce this to some vanity thing when my utter ridiculousness is well documented here. Being by myself is preferable to talking with people who don't follow my thought patterns, or even worse, politely tolerate them.

I'd also say that yes, for most people it's bullshit. Most people are babbies who have spent their entire lives mollycoddled by close contact and can't stare down the prospect of anything else. Viz. the institution of serial monogamy.

[Oblivion]

Anyone else more successful getting dates in real life than getting dates online? I honestly would have expected it would be easier the other way around. I ain't no Brad Pitt, but I would think I would get more replies than I currently do (which is about 100 to 1).

[Shadow Mod]

Serious question though how many people you know in successful relationships found that person by going on dates via apps/internet and not through a friend or chance encounter/hanging out more and more?

[Oblivion]

You talkin' to me?

[Shadow Mod]

Anyone in here really. I mean Tinder et al can get you dates but even now I see a lot of people meeting their partner through other stuff.

[Oblivion]

Well I was mainly referring to the idea of getting dates in general (merely getting your foot through the door, as it were). Having a successful relationship come out of it is a different matter (which, no I don't know anyone in real life who has had one from somone they met online).

[Olivia Wilde Homo]

Dating in general is a numbers game, especially online dating.  You have to cast a wide net because most accounts are barely active or they don't take online dating very seriously.  If you read the Vanity Fair article about Tinder, even male models, marketing managers, and investment bankers have to swipe right on hundreds of women in order to hook up with a few of them.  1 in 100 sounds about right to be honest.

Online dating at best should be a backup plan.  I've always done best out in "the real world" by far.

[Kara]

The fact that Kara of all people believes only one person in the world is meant for him tells me that love is real. And powerful. And if you find it you can't let it go.

She's the only person who tries to think like I think and that makes me feel so much less alone.

I can't believe I got so hung up about a bunch of other stupid shit and forgot that, but I am nothing if not a fucking idiot.

[tiesto]

Well I was mainly referring to the idea of getting dates in general (merely getting your foot through the door, as it were). Having a successful relationship come out of it is a different matter (which, no I don't know anyone in real life who has had one from somone they met online).

Myself and 3 other of my friends met our SOs on Cupid - 1 of them is married and the other is engaged. I found it pretty easy to get my foot through the door, all things considered since I'm not terribly attractive and I'm unabashedly nerdy... getting a second date out of the deal, MUCH harder though. And going all the way to a relationship... I say I went on close to 100 dates before I found one.

My mom works at a dress store and she says that a lot of the customers met their husbands online, too.

Tinder is a bit after my dating time so I don't know how that works. And although I was able to meet a few girls in person it never really went anywhere... at least online you can 'vet' the person a bit, find out their age/interests/job/etc (the last girl I went out with that I met in person I later found out she wasn't even 21 yet. Sure I like my Vita but that's just WAY too young for me)


I'd imagine the ideal way to meet a girl for a lot of people would be through mutual friends. Unfortunately, the last time that happened for me it ended in disaster (I talked about it much earlier in this very thread ).

And finally, things are probably a lot different depending on where in the country you are. Where I live, most 20-somethings live at home due to a ridiculous cost of living, which hinders dating, and a lot of professional/educated women moved off the island or into the city.

[Bebpo]

Anyone in here really. I mean Tinder et al can get you dates but even now I see a lot of people meeting their partner through other stuff.

Eh, two of my married friends met their SO through online.  Seems pretty standard these days if you're not in a social circle where you meet lots of people of the opposite sex regularly.

[Human Snorenado]

Yeah, I know multiple people that have been/are currently in serious relationships and they met their SO online. I think people who just want to have sex use online dating apps/site more, and if someone you know goes to the trouble of setting you up, you're more likely to try and make something work.

[Kara]

Good friend of mine met his wife through online dating. She's pretty awesome too.

OT: feeling like a goober. Correction, like more of a goober than I already feel like being myself. Help me get back to #dgaf KotI.

[Phoenix Dark]

Is this in relation to the ex? Sometimes we want things we cannot have. Maybe when you're both in your late 50s things will work out - she'll be a divorcee, you'll be single, and everything will just gel as you both realize you were meant for each other. And then you'll die of prostate cancer a year later. As someone on The Wire said, life just be that way I guess.

[Kara]

That sounds like a grande finale.

E: Except for the part where misfortune befell her.

And yes.

[Van Cruncheon]

<daps>

[Kara]

A_I_A doesn't have to worry about me anymore. Got a date for tonight. And yes, it's pulling a drinky.

We all know this is just your #SaudiHack around the male chaperone who's a family member rule.

[Phoenix Dark]

A_I_A doesn't have to worry about me anymore. Got a date for tonight. And yes, it's pulling a drinky.

She's your ex's sister?

[Shadow Mod]

Eh that shit happens with Catholics all the time.

[Phoenix Dark]

A_I_A doesn't have to worry about me anymore. Got a date for tonight. And yes, it's pulling a drinky.

She's your ex's sister?

Nope, aunt.

The aunt is 2 years younger than her niece, because this is the arab world and these things happen, but they might as well be sisters.

Oh yea, her. This is hilarious lol. You know the ex is gonna catch feelings super hard, if she hasn't already.

[Kara]

She already knows. And I don't care if it does happen, she had her chance with the God and she wasted it.

Mods, please change my name to 'abd al-Wrath Man. Thanks in advance.

spoiler (click to show/hide)

عبدالرحمن

[close]

[Oblivion]

A_I_A doesn't have to worry about me anymore. Got a date for tonight. And yes, it's pulling a drinky.

She's your ex's sister?

Nope, aunt.

The aunt is 2 years younger than her niece, because this is the arab world and these things happen, but they might as well be sisters.

Wait, I thought you were gay? Or am I thinking of some other A-rab?

[Oblivion]

Also, too. Good news. Met some cultured cougar on OKC and we're gonna meet for dinner tomorrow.

And she's got major yams too.

[Kara]

Straight #struggle.

[toku]

haha

[Oblivion]

A_I_A doesn't have to worry about me anymore. Got a date for tonight. And yes, it's pulling a drinky.

She's your ex's sister?

Nope, aunt.

The aunt is 2 years younger than her niece, because this is the arab world and these things happen, but they might as well be sisters.

Wait, I thought you were gay? Or am I thinking of some other A-rab?

Nah, sadly I'm completely straight.

Oh, maybe I was thinking of Andrex.

He's gay right?

[Tasty]

Allegedly.

[brawndolicious]

Andrex is gay but he isn't gay enough to be a gay Arab. You have to imagine somebody a bit more ostentatious.

[Bebpo]

I found this article pretty interesting about how media reinforces emotional unstableness as a virtue and normal part of a "quirky" woman:

http://www.reluctantfemme.com/2013/08/manic-pixie-dream-girls-not-so-fun.html

Because the Manic Pixie Dream Girl portrayal of women is so common in the media, for the longest time I didn’t think I had a mental illness, not REALLY.  I thought I was just a “free spirit”, that this was how girls like me were supposed to feel and act, that my behaviour was acceptable and understandable. I saw my choices as being the Manic Pixie Dream Girl, or a Boring Sheep, and clearly one of these choices was superior to the other. I simply had no concept that I could be interesting, but ALSO emotionally stable (relatively, anyway).

[Tasty]

MPDG is probably the trope I most love to hate of the past few years. So dumb.

[chronovore]

I found this article pretty interesting about how media reinforces emotional unstableness as a virtue and normal part of a "quirky" woman:

http://www.reluctantfemme.com/2013/08/manic-pixie-dream-girls-not-so-fun.html

Because the Manic Pixie Dream Girl portrayal of women is so common in the media, for the longest time I didn’t think I had a mental illness, not REALLY.  I thought I was just a “free spirit”, that this was how girls like me were supposed to feel and act, that my behaviour was acceptable and understandable. I saw my choices as being the Manic Pixie Dream Girl, or a Boring Sheep, and clearly one of these choices was superior to the other. I simply had no concept that I could be interesting, but ALSO emotionally stable (relatively, anyway).

Yup. I dated a few of these, and it's not surprising how the magical/supportive necessitations reinforced by media also breeds a weird resentment and anger in women. There's also the difficulty in a reasonable relationship in being a pedestal-mounted focus, rather than a partner who shares responsibility equally.

On the other hand, movies and tell me that --as a man--  I can fix my problems by physically confronting them. With enough training montages, I can knock out the bully who had been problematic for me. Hell, it will probably also get me the girl, who has just been waiting for me to stand up for myself. It's certainly not the kind of thing which will add up to a sloppy, dragged out fight, probably ending in charges of assault, according to most movies.

But most men recognize this as a silly fantasy, which is why I think romantic comedies are inherently more dangerous to society than the most violent action movies.

Also, this is funny and sad, but doesn't really hit the political points mentioned in The Featured Article:

spoiler (click to show/hide)

[close]

[king of the internet]

Can't even do my usual  ew feelings thing...kinda feeling great about this one. It's surreal.

[toku]

Can't even do my usual  ew feelings thing...kinda feeling great about this one. It's surreal.

this is good be good

[Am_I_Anonymous]

I'm presently watching a white friend of mine completely lose his shit about losing a girl. Never seen anything like it. He's on FB crying, threatening to beat up anybody who talks to her, and posting ridiculous love shit at 3am. (He's 34)

Don't do this brehs, its a bad look. Especially when its your fault she's gone.

[Reb]

I think all emotionally stable people left Facebook by now.

[Rufus]

I'm presently watching a white friend of mine completely lose his shit about losing a girl. Never seen anything like it. He's on FB crying, threatening to beat up anybody who talks to her, and posting ridiculous love shit at 3am. (He's 34)

There are teenagers who handle things better than that.

[Am_I_Anonymous]

I think all emotionally stable people left Facebook by now.

That's the truth all that's left are Trump fans, people with families (guilty), and the stray emo teenager/20 something that posts a bunch of life mottos that they can't quite understand.

[Am_I_Anonymous]

I'm presently watching a white friend of mine completely lose his shit about losing a girl. Never seen anything like it. He's on FB crying, threatening to beat up anybody who talks to her, and posting ridiculous love shit at 3am. (He's 34)

There are teenagers who handle things better than that.

Here's a tip my pops taught me..shit...30 years ago. If you lose a girl son the best way to get her back is move on with your life. If it's meant to be it's meant to be.

[Kara]

Agree with (one of) our Bore Dads and the Dad of our Bore Dad.

Given recent events, I'm really glad that I downsized my life, got as much of my shit together as it's possible for someone like me to have my shit together, and dragged my pathetic ass as far forward as I could for fifteen months, if only to have been able to make her laugh when I told her that I have to inject myself in the butt per doctor's orders.

E: And shitposted here instead of on social media.

[Phoenix Dark]

buddy of mine is basically this guy:

my favorite radio bit of the year 

[ToxicAdam]

When dudes panic about losing a girl or feel obliged to celebrate an anniversary every month for the one they currently have ..  it's because they feel so shitty about themselves, they don't think they'll ever find love again.

[Human Snorenado]

Deleted my dating accounts today

Giving up

[Am_I_Anonymous]

When dudes panic about losing a girl or feel obliged to celebrate an anniversary every month for the one they currently have ..  it's because they feel so shitty about themselves, they don't think they'll ever find love again.

Agreed

[Phoenix Dark]

That dude is dating a Detroit Piston cheerleader btw 

Scust. I'm all for doing nice things and treating your SO out. If I had a real gf I'd be doing things for holidays and on random days too. But there's no fucking way I'd tolerate a woman who demands I celebrate our anniversary on a monthly basis. That's worm boy shit.

You're right, it's the behavior of a man who is afraid.

[king of the internet]

Deleted my dating accounts today

Giving up

I could never do that shit. 

(edit - I mean online dating, not giving up)

[Kara]

I like to think there's a correlation between me not remembering anniversaries and me never finding love.

[brawndolicious]

I actually can't think of any dudes over 30 who didn't moan a lot when their new gf dumped them.  They probably feel like they're running out of time or something. Yet these dudes also seem to be by far the most comfortable hitting on random girls so it could be just a general issue with wearing a mask to hide your genuine feelings on first impressions.

Eventually, those men either realize this and learn to express themselves more honestly to get out of that funk or (most of the time) they settle for someone who is really dumb/unambitious. And those in the latter group tend to be pretty depressed or compulsively cheating.

[Phoenix Dark]

I like to think there's a correlation between me not remembering anniversaries and me never finding love.

"you remember the exact publication date of The Revolution Betrayed yet can't remember the month we met?!"

[Kara]

I like to think there's a correlation between me not remembering anniversaries and me never finding love.

"you remember the exact publication date of The Revolution Betrayed yet can't remember the month we met?!"

The last time I used Couple I was the first one to log in and I set our anniversary as 9 May "as a joke" when I really just didn't know the date but didn't want to look like I didn't know the date.

spoiler (click to show/hide)

She changed it to the correct date pretty soon after.

[close]

[nudemacusers]

my wife and I have forgotten our anniversary every single year so far...

"oh yeah that's this weekend isn't it".

still  on the reg and makin babies like it wasn't nothing

[Human Snorenado]

Breeding

[Atramental]

I wonder what non-breeder Macuser would be like.

Also, has anyone said you look like Nathan Fielder from Nathan for You?