My chest/heart/lungs are so fucked.
When I lay down to sleep, as soon as I get into the sleepy mindset and my breathing is supposed to get slow and deep, my breathing stops and I immediately snap to adrenaline awake.
The area of my heart hurts almost all the time. It’s a very bruise-y ache kind of pain. It’s much worse when I lay down. The pain area sleeps through my body to my back and onto my left shoulder.
The only position I can sleep in is sitting up while leaning forward. Leaning forward relieves the pain in general. The problem is that I have no good chairs for this in my apartment, so I’ve been trying to sleep sitting on the floor in the corner, so I have one wall bracing me up. Even with that precaution, the “leaning forward” position has my falling forward or to my unbraced side after only a little bit. Longest sleep I’ve gotten is 40 minutes. The position is also not a guarantee of sleep or pain relief.
I’m extremely tired and very weak. I got winded lifting my MacBook Pro from its place into my bag. I walked less than a mile and was so dizzy I had to sit down. I was covered in sweat. It was like 5-10 minutes of effort in cool weather.
I hope things get better soon. I can’t sleep now. I got like ~4 hours total yesterday and I’m so exhausted and I can’t sleep now. I have to look for jobs and do phone interviews, but I feel like I’m dying.