THE BORE
General => The Superdeep Borehole => Topic started by: Yeti on July 04, 2007, 01:36:50 AM
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I have to read this book for a class I'm taking. It is "A mystical Mexican love story that will charm the palate and the heart," according to USA Today. I thought it was going to suuuuuck but it has been awesome so far. I've only read the first 3 chapters, but check out what has happened so far.
Chapter 1
There is a girl named Tita who loves to cook. Some guy wants to marry her, but because she is the youngest daughter and her mother is a bitch, the mother won't let her get married. She says it is the job of the youngest daughter to take care of the mother when she gets old. So she has the guy marry Tita's older sister instead, and then beats the shit out of Tita whenever she gets sad.
Chapter 2
Tita and her grandmother are in charge of cooking for the wedding, including things like castrating roosters which they go into excruciating detail about. While baking the cake, Tita cries into the batter or something then goes to bed. The grandmother tastes the cake to see if the crying in it ruined the flavor, but tastes fine.
The next day is the wedding and the grandmother is too sick to attend. The guy tells Tita the only reason he is marrying her sister is to be close to her, LOL. The wedding happens, and people eat the wedding cake. All of a sudden everyone starts puking everywhere. Except for Tita. Her older sister, while puking, slips in vomit getting her wedding dress all covered in barf, and a whole bunch of people puke on her. Meanwhile, the grandmother has died.
Chapter 3
Even though the guy married her older sister, he gives Tita flowers. The mother sees this and gets mad and tells Tita to get rid of them, so after snapping the necks on a bunch of quail she cooks the rose petals into the meal. The meal tastes very good, but it causes Tita's other sister, the one who isn't married, to become incredibly lustful. She goes to their outside shower but the water evaporites before it can hit her skin. Then the walls of the shower burst into flame, and she runs around outside naked.
Meanwhile across town there is a battle going on. There is a Mexican rebel who all of a sudden becomes incredibly horny and leaves the battle on his horse. He arrives at Tita's place and sees her sister running around naked. Without even stopping his horse he scoops her up and then screws her on the still moving horse while Tita and the guy she loves who married her sister watch. They ride the horse off into the distance. Later we find out that the sister is now working as a prostitute.
Okay, as girly romance books go, this one is totally awesome, has anyone else read it?
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What class is this? Homoerotica?
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turn in your penis at the box by the door
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next up on the evilbore emasculation book club: fried green tomatoes
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The hip hop album is 1000 x better.
(http://www.cypherstyles.com/%5Cimg%5CproductImages%5CCommon%20Like%20Water%20For%20Chocolate%20front.jpg)
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:lol :lol :lol
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lol, you could be reading Blood Meridian and you're reading this instead. Homosexuality confirmed.
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Some of you seem to have missed the first sentence in this thread.
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Some of you seem to have missed the first sentence in this thread.
What class are you taking? Buttsecks 101?
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Some of you seem to have missed the first sentence in this thread.
Let me rub my weiner against your buttcheeks.
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Like Water for Chocolate > The Darkness