THE BORE
General => The Superdeep Borehole => Topic started by: The Fake Shemp on July 12, 2007, 02:46:24 AM
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My 19-year-old brother got caught smoking cigarettes after a work day at his father's house (we have different fathers). His father busted him and told my mom. My mom went into hysterics. When I say hysterics, I mean she called me at work crying on the phone and threatening to kick him out of the house altogether. Smoking cigarettes to her is the equivalent of peddling crack on a street corner; in fact, she may have been less upset if this had been the case.
My brother, for all his scruples, told me that he had succumb to peer pressure and began smoking a few times ("casually" as he says!) with his friends over the course of the last two months. He's not addicted, he says. It's just a casual, peer thing. However, this does not explain why he had to smoke after work while he's at his father's house (far removed from his schoolyard friends). Plus, I've never known a smoker that just up and decided to start filling their lungs with tar and tobacco - it always seems to start as a casual thing. First with some friends to fit in, then after a long day and then the days become longer when you don't have a cigarette.
As a non-smoker (okay, I dabble in cigars every now and then), am I being naive or what?
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I think by the time someone is 19, the peer pressure excuse is bullshit.
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To his credit, he's not the extrovert I am and he's pretty socially awkward with a learning disability to boot. He doesn't feel comfortable with school and I can see him trying to find acceptance with the "wrong crowd" (smokers and tokers!). I buy that he started due to peer pressure.
I guess I am wondering whether or not he is being honest about his smoking not being a problem. I mean, do smokers even realize when it's a problem?
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Smoking puts hair on your nuts. He's fine.
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I guess I am wondering whether or not he is being honest about his smoking not being a problem. I mean, do smokers even realize when it's a problem?
One of the biggest signs of addiction is not being able to realize you're addicted. They use their own illusion of freedom to justify not stopping.
"I can stop whenever I want. But I don't want to...."
ridiculous. If he's been able to hide it this long though, the addiction can't be that ingrained into him though. Some people are easily addicted though.
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I think he's 19 and he can make his own damn decisions.
It sucks that people you love would fill their lungs with bullshit and death and cancer day in and day out, but they do it and it is their right.
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I think he's 19 and he can make his own damn decisions.
It sucks that people you love would fill their lungs with bullshit and death and cancer day in and day out, but they do it and it is their right.
I'm not here to lecture or preach - it's a disgusting habit and I let that be that. I just want REAL TALK. Not excuses. As for what his rights are, he can buy and smoke cigarettes. But the title of his car is in my mother's name and he lives under her house and depends on her financial support - so he has little choice but to quit.
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I think he's 19 and he can make his own damn decisions.
It sucks that people you love would fill their lungs with bullshit and death and cancer day in and day out, but they do it and it is their right.
I'm not here to lecture or preach - it's a disgusting habit and I let that be that. I just want REAL TALK. Not excuses. As for what his rights are, he can buy and smoke cigarettes. But the title of his car is in my mother's name and he lives under her house and depends on her financial support - so he has little choice but to quit.
That doesn't change the fact that your mother is overreacting.
Honestly the only person who knows whether or not your brother is addicted is your brother. I've never really understood cigs. I smoke whenever I'm offered, but I'll never buy a pack. I don't know how or why people turn into nicotine fiends, but whatever. If your brother says he doesn't have a problem, then you might as well take his word. It's not like he's shooting up..
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One of the biggest signs of addiction is not being able to realize you're addicted. They use their own illusion of freedom to justify not stopping.
"I can stop whenever I want. But I don't want to...."
Bingo. And plus, why would you not want to stop anyway? It's fucking gross, it costs so much money, it costs nonsmokers money because of higher insurance premiums and stuff to pay for the idiot smokers who end up with lung cancer, etc etc.
My grandparents smoke and pay like $300 a month for cigarettes, and they smoke BASIC, which is apparently a cheap-ass brand. $300 a month is a payment for a NICE car, or even a good car plus insurance. I just don't understand why people would throw their money away like that.
Besides, smoking makes you smell. It's not hot, it's not attractive. Does your brother want girls to not kiss him or be near him because he smells and it's like kissing an ashtray? I mean, he likes pussy, right? Which would he pick if he had to choose? lol
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He's not at that stage where he feels comfortable talking to the opposite sex. He struggled with this chick last summer, who was making crazy advances in a blunt way that is unheard of in high school, and that fizzled catastrophically. When I say you're dealing with an immature, socially awkward kid that had leaning disabilities - I mean just that.
I mean, I remember a couple of years ago when we both went on Spring Break in the Caribbean on a cruise ship. It was the wildest time I've had in my life. And while I had a few years of debauchery underneath my belt, I also lost my virginity at 17-years-old, so I figure that stars had aligned for him on this vacation (he was 17 and chicks were inebriated and throwing themselves at him). I even gave him a rubber. But I think he spent most of his time playing PlayStation 2 in the cruise teenage break room. So I don't think that's a priority for him.
He's never been an exceptional athlete, scholar or anything. He doesn't know what he wants to do in his life and he has if having trouble with college admissions due to his learning disability and high school grades. I think he just wants to fit in.
And - yeah - my mom is probably overreacting, but the cards are stacked in her favor. He might have the right to smoke, but she's got all the strings.
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OK - I suspect that he will end up being an adult smoker.
His position now of it just being a light social thing is BS. He is already hooked on the stuff.
First thing to do is to admit that....
Then he decides he needs to quit....
Then he has to really want to....
I smoked from age 21 to 30...it was bloody awful but I wouldnt listen to anyone....
I suspect yer brother is gonna have to go thru his own school of hard knocks...
And it wont be easy - cigarettes are more addictive than heorin.
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Hmm...meh. I've tried cigarettes when I was sober and I've tried cigarettes when I was drunk. Sober: disgusting. Drunk: a nice feeling of euphoria. Would I smoke a cigarette sober? Hell no. They're disgusting. The only reason I would smoke a cigarette is if it was to amplify a feeling I've already gotten, i.e. alcoholic stupor.
Tell your brother about the wonders of robitussin. That'll give him something more fun than cigarettes.
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I started smoking cigarettes when i started smoking weed...and use of LSD and extacy when I was in college didnt help me put the smoke stix down....
Is yer brother - "partying" too?
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No, not really. Unless playing World of Warcraft and going to juvenile delinquents' houses to smoke cigarettes and play Halo 2 constitutes as partying these days.
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The only reason I don't smoke is that I live on the 2nd floor of an apartment building, which makes it a hassle.
I put on a bit of weight when I quite smoking, and it is tough to shake.
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And it wont be easy - cigarettes are more addictive than heorin.
:rofl I think that's negated by the fact that it's a lot less enjoyable.
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Ir's unfortunate for your brother that his situation sucks. I don't mean with your mom, but with his mentality. I still say it's tough to be a teenager--it's even tougher to be an older teen who has an even more difficult time fitting in because of circumstances beyond his control.
Your mom is overreacting a bit, but maybe she can make it hard enough for him to smoke that he'll just quit out of aggravation. If she tells him that he can't smoke in her house or on her property, he's a bit screwed. Maybe even make him wash his clothes elseware if he comes home smelling like smoke. I don't know if the smell of smoke can penetrate other laundry but I imagine it can and I'm sure she doesn't want that. Like you said, she's got all the cards. She's the boss and if she makes it too tough for him, he'll just have to quit. If he's as immature as you say, he can't move out because he'd never make it on his own right now. I think if she really puts her foot down and doesn't keep equating cigs to LSD he'll be okay.
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I smoke a couple of cigarettes a day. I dunno, I should quit as I dont even smoke that much, but I do enjoy it
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I smoke a couple of cigarettes a day. I dunno, I should quit as I dont even smoke that much, but I do enjoy it
Try robitussin.
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People, if you're gonna smoke, smoke weed. At least it does something for you.
And Federman, don't take this personally or anything... but have you considered that your brother might be gay?
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People, if you're gonna smoke, smoke weed. At least it does something for you.
And Federman, don't take this personally or anything... but have you considered that your brother might be gay?
It's not just cigarettes he's smoking at his friends' houses...bow chicka wow wow.
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I think if she really puts her foot down and doesn't keep equating cigs to LSD he'll be okay.
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/199734/study_finds_marijuana_lsd_and_ecstacy.html
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People, if you're gonna smoke, smoke weed. At least it does something for you.
And Federman, don't take this personally or anything... but have you considered that your brother might be gay?
weed :bow
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Don't worry, when you come back for Jewish Winter Gift-Receiving Time, we'll take your brother up to Baltimore and get him shitfaced and pay a hooker to slob his knob. With any luck, it will give him the confidence he needs to start looking people in the face when they talk to him. Plus, all of the oozing welts on his cock will make for some great fabrications!
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i smoked for about 8 years... then decided one day to quit. it wasn't as hard as i thought it would be. you just have to be willing to do so. i say let your brother be, if he wants to quit, he will.