THE BORE

General => Video Game Bored => Topic started by: TVC15 on November 01, 2007, 11:41:59 PM

Title: WHO SHALL OUGHT THOU SAY MAMMORIOUS THE WITCHAAAAA???
Post by: TVC15 on November 01, 2007, 11:41:59 PM

I am about to play the Witcher.  This is gonna be giant bouncy breasts.  I mean great.  I hope it performs well on my pair of european milk sacs.  I mean computer.  I bet there's awesome 3d seminal fluid everywhere.  I mean graphical effects.  I can't wait to repeatedly click my manclit as I hover over number after succulent number.  Er, I mean mouse button.  Mouse button.  Before I play, I need to go take a Pleasure Cone in the ass.  I mean shit in the toilet.  And then before I play, I will gnaw on some fish tacos.  I mean dicks.  This is gonna be so cunnilingus.  I mean buggy.  And awesome.  I mean erection.

Title: Re: WHO SHALL OUGHT THOU SAY MAMMORIOUS THE WITCHAAAAA???
Post by: Van Cruncheon on November 01, 2007, 11:43:08 PM

CELEBRATE THE LIFE OF A MEDIEVAL SLOVAKIAN FUCKBEAST BY WITCHING DEMI

and by "witching demi" i mean fucking his ass

Title: Re: WHO SHALL OUGHT THOU SAY MAMMORIOUS THE WITCHAAAAA???
Post by: Van Cruncheon on November 01, 2007, 11:44:35 PM

also, this has a better localization than the fft remake

and by better localization i mean better localization

fft remake sucks ass, fuck off nerds :punch

Title: Re: WHO SHALL OUGHT THOU SAY MAMMORIOUS THE WITCHAAAAA???
Post by: Smooth Groove on November 01, 2007, 11:45:32 PM

Quote from: TVC 15 on November 01, 2007, 11:41:59 PM

I am about to play the Witcher.  This is gonna be giant bouncy breasts.  I mean great.  I hope it performs well on my pair of european milk sacs.  I mean computer.  I bet there's awesome 3d seminal fluid everywhere.  I mean graphical effects.  I can't wait to repeatedly click my manclit as I hover over number after succulent number.  Er, I mean mouse button.  Mouse button.  Before I play, I need to go take a Pleasure Cone in the ass.  I mean shit in the toilet.  And then before I play, I will gnaw on some fish tacos.  I mean dicks.  This is gonna be so cunnilingus.  I mean buggy.  And awesome.  I mean erection.

So you got the uncensored version?  Post some pics.  I need to know if I should DL it. 

Title: Re: WHO SHALL OUGHT THOU SAY MAMMORIOUS THE WITCHAAAAA???
Post by: Himu on November 01, 2007, 11:48:54 PM

sigh i want this but my computer sucks

Title: Re: WHO SHALL OUGHT THOU SAY MAMMORIOUS THE WITCHAAAAA???
Post by: demi on November 01, 2007, 11:49:44 PM

Quote from: Professor Prole on November 01, 2007, 11:43:08 PM

CELEBRATE THE LIFE OF A MEDIEVAL SLOVAKIAN FUCKBEAST BY WITCHING DEMI

and by "witching demi" i mean fucking his ass

the woofer

Title: Re: WHO SHALL OUGHT THOU SAY MAMMORIOUS THE WITCHAAAAA???
Post by: TVC15 on November 02, 2007, 12:29:05 AM

Holy SHIT, this game is FUCK ALL AWESOME. 

I haven't encountered any bugs yet. . .the game is actually pretty damned polished.  I am really digging this. 

And dizzamn do the titties ever bounce!  I HAVE BEEN WITCHED!

Title: Re: WHO SHALL OUGHT THOU SAY MAMMORIOUS THE WITCHAAAAA???
Post by: Ichirou on November 02, 2007, 12:31:38 AM

Ever read the books the game is based on, or watched the movie?

Title: Re: WHO SHALL OUGHT THOU SAY MAMMORIOUS THE WITCHAAAAA???
Post by: TVC15 on November 02, 2007, 12:32:05 AM

No.  have you?

Title: Re: WHO SHALL OUGHT THOU SAY MAMMORIOUS THE WITCHAAAAA???
Post by: Ichirou on November 02, 2007, 12:34:35 AM

I just checked Wiki and they haven't been translated into English.  I guess I could pick up the Spanish versions if I was really interested in the Witcher universe.

Also according to Wiki, Synbios is a witcher.

Quote

Witchers are sterile mutants with supernatural abilities, who receive special training and preparation. In the stories, Geralt, the central character, is said to be one of the best witchers.

Title: Re: WHO SHALL OUGHT THOU SAY MAMMORIOUS THE WITCHAAAAA???
Post by: Van Cruncheon on November 02, 2007, 12:54:26 AM

yeah, it's really polished, and the presentation is top notch. runs WAY better than expected. only problem is i can't figure out how to beat the "frightener" mantis thingie boss -- i cast "aard" on the cauldrons, but none of my sword styles do damage. help!

Title: Re: WHO SHALL OUGHT THOU SAY MAMMORIOUS THE WITCHAAAAA???
Post by: Smooth Groove on November 02, 2007, 12:56:23 AM

Pics please

Is it better than Titan Quest? 

Title: Re: WHO SHALL OUGHT THOU SAY MAMMORIOUS THE WITCHAAAAA???
Post by: Howard Alan Treesong on November 02, 2007, 12:57:18 AM

The main character is a witch with big tatas? Is this like Tarot: The Game?

Title: Re: WHO SHALL OUGHT THOU SAY MAMMORIOUS THE WITCHAAAAA???
Post by: Van Cruncheon on November 02, 2007, 12:58:03 AM

no, it is not better than titan quest, but it is a great cornball hard fantasy action-rpg with big bouncy tits and a creepy mage named "the professor" :heart :heart

Title: Re: WHO SHALL OUGHT THOU SAY MAMMORIOUS THE WITCHAAAAA???
Post by: Van Cruncheon on November 02, 2007, 12:58:56 AM

no, the main character is a beat-up bishie named geralt who has an awesome va. the big boobies are on his party's mage chica. she's pretty cool, too, even if her fashion sense sucks.

Title: Re: WHO SHALL OUGHT THOU SAY MAMMORIOUS THE WITCHAAAAA???
Post by: Smooth Groove on November 02, 2007, 12:59:38 AM

I like the Witcher's setting more than TQ's though.  Also, you guys keep talking about boobies, but did you get the normal or uncensored version? 

Title: Re: WHO SHALL OUGHT THOU SAY MAMMORIOUS THE WITCHAAAAA???
Post by: Van Cruncheon on November 02, 2007, 01:00:16 AM

normal. censoring doesn't remove the bouncing; it just gives you some nip action in a few silly "sex" scenes.

Title: Re: WHO SHALL OUGHT THOU SAY MAMMORIOUS THE WITCHAAAAA???
Post by: TVC15 on November 02, 2007, 01:00:51 AM

(http://images.eurogamer.net/assets/articles//a/8/6/1/5/6/ss_preview_2.jpg.jpg)


Her titties bounce EVERYWHERE when she moves.

The only things that are censored are the cards you get when you bang chicks.  See:

NSFW:  http://www.shacknews.com/screenshots.x?gallery=8544&id=108103

and apparently the Dryad monster model has her titties covered up.  That's it.  Not that censored.  They just covered up a couple of nipples.  No dialogue changes or removal of content.

Title: Re: WHO SHALL OUGHT THOU SAY MAMMORIOUS THE WITCHAAAAA???
Post by: Smooth Groove on November 02, 2007, 01:01:27 AM

I just saw on EB's website that it's still rated M.  Why didn't they just keep the titty action intact? 

Title: Re: WHO SHALL OUGHT THOU SAY MAMMORIOUS THE WITCHAAAAA???
Post by: Van Cruncheon on November 02, 2007, 01:01:44 AM

seriously. they are like sentient water balloons wrestling under her bodice-y thing.

Title: Re: WHO SHALL OUGHT THOU SAY MAMMORIOUS THE WITCHAAAAA???
Post by: Van Cruncheon on November 02, 2007, 01:02:35 AM

Quote from: Smooth Groove on November 02, 2007, 01:01:27 AM

I just saw on EB's website that it's still rated M.  Why didn't they just keep the titty action intact? 

'cuz i am not actually aroused by polygonal slovakian whoregicians and i don't need the mid-rez nip textures to make me feel like a man

Title: Re: WHO SHALL OUGHT THOU SAY MAMMORIOUS THE WITCHAAAAA???
Post by: Fragamemnon on November 02, 2007, 01:02:47 AM

Quote from: Smooth Groove on November 02, 2007, 01:01:27 AM

I just saw on EB's website that it's still rated M.  Why didn't they just keep the titty action intact? 

If they had left it in then they wouldn't have gotten the M.

Title: Re: WHO SHALL OUGHT THOU SAY MAMMORIOUS THE WITCHAAAAA???
Post by: MrAngryFace on November 02, 2007, 01:03:14 AM

But what about GOD OF WAR it has BEWBZ

Title: Re: WHO SHALL OUGHT THOU SAY MAMMORIOUS THE WITCHAAAAA???
Post by: Van Cruncheon on November 02, 2007, 01:03:37 AM

frag, how do i beat that mantis boss

Title: Re: WHO SHALL OUGHT THOU SAY MAMMORIOUS THE WITCHAAAAA???
Post by: Van Cruncheon on November 02, 2007, 01:04:01 AM

Quote from: Weighted Companion Cube on November 02, 2007, 01:03:14 AM

But what about GOD OF WAR it has BEWBZ

gaf is so lonely :'(

Title: Re: WHO SHALL OUGHT THOU SAY MAMMORIOUS THE WITCHAAAAA???
Post by: Smooth Groove on November 02, 2007, 01:04:09 AM

Quote from: Fragamemnon on November 02, 2007, 01:02:47 AM

Quote from: Smooth Groove on November 02, 2007, 01:01:27 AM

I just saw on EB's website that it's still rated M.  Why didn't they just keep the titty action intact? 

If they had left it in then they wouldn't have gotten the M.

That's distinguished mentally-challenged.  Why are games hold to a higher standard?  The nudity isn't even real.  I just want to see it for some laughs. 

Title: Re: WHO SHALL OUGHT THOU SAY MAMMORIOUS THE WITCHAAAAA???
Post by: TVC15 on November 02, 2007, 01:04:44 AM

(http://www.shacknews.com/images/image-o-matic.x?/images/sshots/Screenshot/8544/8544_47186f1ee5dc9.jpg)

I wonder if he Witches all over them titties.  Or in between them.

Title: Re: WHO SHALL OUGHT THOU SAY MAMMORIOUS THE WITCHAAAAA???
Post by: Smooth Groove on November 02, 2007, 01:06:21 AM

That looks pretty sweet.  Is there some DOF effect in that? 

Title: Re: WHO SHALL OUGHT THOU SAY MAMMORIOUS THE WITCHAAAAA???
Post by: TVC15 on November 02, 2007, 01:07:10 AM

ZOMG:  http://www.shacknews.com/images/image-o-matic.x?/images/sshots/Screenshot/8544/8544_47186f170ba55.jpg

Title: Re: WHO SHALL OUGHT THOU SAY MAMMORIOUS THE WITCHAAAAA???
Post by: Howard Alan Treesong on November 02, 2007, 01:11:16 AM

the composition of that photo is brilllliant

Title: Re: WHO SHALL OUGHT THOU SAY MAMMORIOUS THE WITCHAAAAA???
Post by: Fragamemnon on November 02, 2007, 01:24:30 AM

Quote from: Professor Prole on November 02, 2007, 01:03:37 AM

frag, how do i beat that mantis boss

I don't have the game yet! :(

Title: Re: WHO SHALL OUGHT THOU SAY MAMMORIOUS THE WITCHAAAAA???
Post by: Smooth Groove on November 02, 2007, 01:27:12 AM

Frag, did you check out Crysis?  I played it on both XP and Vista.  Max settings in DX10 at 1920x1200 made me cry (<10fps)!  Even in DX9, it doesn't average 30fps unless I put it at 1680x1050.  Evilore is either distinguished mentally-challenged or a liar.  He claimed he got 30fps at 1680x1050 w/like 8X AA on a 8800 GTS. 

Title: Re: WHO SHALL OUGHT THOU SAY MAMMORIOUS THE WITCHAAAAA???
Post by: The Fake Shemp on November 02, 2007, 01:28:39 AM

EviLore is probably running it with like 4GB of RAM and experimental CPUs and SLI

Title: Re: WHO SHALL OUGHT THOU SAY MAMMORIOUS THE WITCHAAAAA???
Post by: Smooth Groove on November 02, 2007, 01:29:38 AM

or the 10 PS3s he own

Title: Re: WHO SHALL OUGHT THOU SAY MAMMORIOUS THE WITCHAAAAA???
Post by: The Fake Shemp on November 02, 2007, 01:30:47 AM

Electronic Arts probably gave him one of the workstations Crysis was created on to play it. :lol

Title: Re: WHO SHALL OUGHT THOU SAY MAMMORIOUS THE WITCHAAAAA???
Post by: Fragamemnon on November 02, 2007, 01:38:59 AM

Quote from: Smooth Groove on November 02, 2007, 01:27:12 AM

Frag, did you check out Crysis?  I played it on both XP and Vista.  Max settings in DX10 at 1920x1200 made me cry (<10fps)!  Even in DX9, it doesn't average 30fps unless I put it at 1680x1050.  Evilore is either distinguished mentally-challenged or a liar.  He claimed he got 30fps at 1680x1050 w/like 8X AA on a 8800 GTS. 

I played it, and from what I read he only got decent performance like that when he played at 720p and no AA. My 8800GTS choked on higher res and AA as well.

Crytek and nVidia/ATi are going to have fun patching the game and releasing drivers for it when it comes out. I'll play it next year when I'm bored and it's on sale.

Title: Re: WHO SHALL OUGHT THOU SAY MAMMORIOUS THE WITCHAAAAA???
Post by: TVC15 on November 02, 2007, 02:04:27 AM

I could get Crysis running at a mostly stable 30fps with a good mix of medium and high (but no very high) settings.  I'm not going to be buying the game, at least not for a while.

1)  Far Cry sucked ass as anything except a tech demo
2)  Crysis was clearly rushed for a late 2008 release, and is being shoved out the door unoptimized and buggy
3)  Even ignoring optimization, we're going to need at least one more gen of videocards before this thing is going to run smoothly across the board.

I see the game selling decently the first month, then its sales dying quickly.

Title: Re: WHO SHALL OUGHT THOU SAY MAMMORIOUS THE WITCHAAAAA???
Post by: Oblivion on November 02, 2007, 02:25:45 AM

Fucking sold. :drool

Title: Re: WHO SHALL OUGHT THOU SAY MAMMORIOUS THE WITCHAAAAA???
Post by: Himu on November 02, 2007, 02:29:31 AM

oh why isn't this for consoles. i need a better pc. :(

How much would it cost to have a pc that can play this, NWN2+ expansion, Titan Quest, and the other recent pc games I've been missing?  :(

Title: Re: WHO SHALL OUGHT THOU SAY MAMMORIOUS THE WITCHAAAAA???
Post by: TVC15 on November 02, 2007, 02:37:24 AM

Less than a thousand, though I am too lazy to go to newegg to figure out exact numbers.

Title: Re: WHO SHALL OUGHT THOU SAY MAMMORIOUS THE WITCHAAAAA???
Post by: Madrun Badrun on November 02, 2007, 02:40:08 AM

How come you didn't respond to my last two torchwood pms Whiteman!   :maf

Title: Re: WHO SHALL OUGHT THOU SAY MAMMORIOUS THE WITCHAAAAA???
Post by: bork on November 02, 2007, 02:45:03 AM

I didn't know this game even existed until this thread, but I am totally checking it out now.  The Shacknews impressions got me interested...it's vulgar, violent, and has boobies?!  I'M IN!

Title: Re: WHO SHALL OUGHT THOU SAY MAMMORIOUS THE WITCHAAAAA???
Post by: TVC15 on November 02, 2007, 02:53:07 AM

Quote from: lyte edge on November 02, 2007, 02:45:03 AM

I didn't know this game even existed until this thread, but I am totally checking it out now.  The Shacknews impressions got me interested...it's vulgar, violent, and has boobies?!  I'M IN!

It plays pretty well, too, though I haven't put enough time in to give anything approaching a final judgement.

It's kind of like a cross between clicky Diablo combat and the tactical combat of Infinity Engine games.  You can clicky click kill the mooks, and when you get to something big, you can pause, change stances, use tactical dodging moves, magic, potions, all at your leisure.  Or if you like spending hours and hours on easy combat, you can play the tactician all the time.

The game has two camera angles, an overhead one, and a over the shoulder one.  Usually in cases like this, one camera angle rocks, and the other sucks, but here, both of them work really well, and you can switch between them with a key press on the fly in case you need to.  I've been sticking with the over the shoulder view because it makes the combat feel more visceral, being up close and all, but the overhead view gives you a better eye for tactics and positioning.

The game also appears to focus a lot on buffs via potions, but I haven't gotten into potion making yet.

Arvie--I just haven't felt like answering PMs lately, nothing personal.

Title: Re: WHO SHALL OUGHT THOU SAY MAMMORIOUS THE WITCHAAAAA???
Post by: Smooth Groove on November 02, 2007, 03:03:57 AM

I'm sold.  Does anyone know where I can buy a legit copy of the uncensored version? 

Quote from: TVC 15 on November 02, 2007, 02:53:07 AM

Arvie--I just haven't felt like answering PMs lately, nothing personal.

At least let me know if you want to trade for The Fountain, asshole.

Title: Re: WHO SHALL OUGHT THOU SAY MAMMORIOUS THE WITCHAAAAA???
Post by: Madrun Badrun on November 02, 2007, 03:08:26 AM

Ya you should have at least sent a pm saying that you didn't feel like sending a pm!   :P
 

spoiler (click to show/hide)

Hope your not feeling blue again.

[close]

Title: Re: WHO SHALL OUGHT THOU SAY MAMMORIOUS THE WITCHAAAAA???
Post by: Himu on November 02, 2007, 03:12:35 AM

god the shacknews preview fucking SOLD me.

Quote

For instance, once while wandering around in the wilderness late at night I ran across a traveler, some random fat guy in a robe. He soon came under attack by a dog, which, strangely enough, had been chasing me to that point. After coming to his defense, the man introduced himself. Turns out he knew me before I lost my memory, and his business has been doing so well thanks to my help that he was willing to give me a wad of cash, right on the spot. I didn't have to save him, but if I had let the sucker die, I would have never known gotten the cash. Rather than allowing you to act in a bluntly negative way, The Witcher instead allows you the choice of not acting at all. You're a kind of Batman character, perched above the world's common concerns, indirectly choosing who lives and who dies.

THAT'S the kind of choices i've been wanting from my rpgs. HOLY SHIT.

Title: Re: WHO SHALL OUGHT THOU SAY MAMMORIOUS THE WITCHAAAAA???
Post by: TVC15 on November 02, 2007, 03:14:58 AM

Quote from: Smooth Groove on November 02, 2007, 03:03:57 AM

I'm sold.  Does anyone know where I can buy a legit copy of the uncensored version? 

Quote from: TVC 15 on November 02, 2007, 02:53:07 AM

Arvie--I just haven't felt like answering PMs lately, nothing personal.

At least let me know if you want to trade for The Fountain, asshole.

I already have the fountain on BD.