THE BORE
General => The Superdeep Borehole => Topic started by: TVC15 on December 09, 2007, 04:43:00 AM
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From now on, I am going to attempt to watch something righteously terrible every Sunday.
To define my terms, by "righteously terrible," I mean something that everybody will agree is an abortion of some sort. Since unanimous agreement is rare on these sort of things, I'll say that there has to be 90% agreement in that my chosen movie is, indeed, terrible.
To define "Sunday," Sunday in my little world is anything within like 3 days of actual Sunday. I spend a lot of time sick and throwing up and what not, so I have to occasionally reschedule entire days in my datebook.
And then of course I will rant. Truly terrible things are easy rants, so I may not be spitting hot fiyah, but there will be comedy for all.
Anyway, tomorrow's choice is. . .
What the Bleep Do We Know.
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Ice Spiders
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Ice Spiders
Is it still at work? Is it truly that terrible? I mean, look at what I am going through tomorrow:
"This is the "What The Bleep" movie + 5 more DVDs of additional video."
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Baby Boy
[youtube=425,350]Rk_dJnmC3Ek&[/youtube]
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seen Rollerball? (the newer one, with Chris Klein and LL Cool J)
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So you want legitimately BAD movies. Not "so bad they're good" movies, or "cheesy on purpose" movies. Just BAD movies.
Why would you do this to yourself?
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Van Helsing
Ghost Rider.
After these two, I wouldn't be surprised if we don't hear from TVC anymore, mainly because he will probably end his life.
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No no NO Van Helsing. I saw like 10 minutes of that and NO NO NO, TOO BAD!
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No no NO Van Helsing. I saw like 10 minutes of that and NO NO NO, TOO BAD!
Oh wow, just ten minutes? You really haven't seen anything yet.
I sat through an hour and thirty minutes of it before I had to quit watching. I felt an aneurysm coming on.
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You know, I like Hugh Jackman, too, quite a bit. I knew it was bad going in, but I thought at worst, it would at least look stylish. :(
Oh Hugh. At least he hasn't chosen any divine stinkers like that since. I guess every Hollywood star needs their one "I did a terrible movie for the money" picture.
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You know, I like Hugh Jackman, too, quite a bit. I knew it was bad going in, but I thought at worst, it would at least look stylish. :(
Oh Hugh. At least he hasn't chosen any divine stinkers like that since. I guess every Hollywood star needs their one "I did a terrible movie for the money" picture.
Sadly, some make their careers out of it, such as Cuba Gooding, Jr. and Eddie Murphy
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To define "Sunday," Sunday in my little world is anything within like 3 days of actual Sunday.
Waitaminute...
I nominate Master Of Disguise and Hardball.
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To define "Sunday," Sunday in my little world is anything within like 3 days of actual Sunday.
Waitaminute...
I nominate Master Of Disguise and Hardball.
ooo, Master of Disguise could be good. Not sure what hardball is. . .
I hate to endorse piracy, but I think I need to put this up front so people don't think I am too financially irresponsible: Unless I find some of these in like the dollar bin at Fred Meyer, you can GUESS where some of these movies will be coming from. The only thing worse than watching 6 discs of What the BLEEP do we know would be giving money to the shitheads that made this, and thus validating it.
I can't advocate theft. Except when you are stealing from idiots.
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Ecks vs. Sever
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:lol
I just assumed you watched Star Wars: Episode 1
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Hardball's the one where Keanu Reeves plays a lawyer who is sentenced to community service and coaches a little league team full of sassy, inner-city black kids. He teaches them about baseball, but they teach him about so much more.
It's not so much trainwreck bad as it is the apotheosis of cookie-cutter Hollywood sentimentality and emotional manipulation.
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Torque
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I vote for ghost rider, it's TERRRRRIBLE. The only good part of the movie is Eva Mendes, and I'm not talking about the acting.
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... watch Eragon
NO
I saw that abortion at the theater. DON'T DO IT
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Well, I now have What the Bleep do We Know? and 5 BONUS DVDS of related content. Who says I should get wrecked tonight and watch it?
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The Delta Force (1986)
Spiderman 3
Troll 2
Doom
any movie starring Chuck Norris.
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Um, I am less than a MINUTE in and I might have to bail out
This is BAD
It has the production values of like, a 2AM infomercial. For a cult.
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"WE ARE RUNNING THE HOLODECK"
OMG THIS MOVIE STRENGTHENS MY BELIEF THAT SUNDAY IS WHENEVER I WANT IT TO BE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ARGH CANT. ..RESIST. . .CULTLIKE., . .BRAIn. . ..WAS .. . . .HI. . . .. NG!!!!!!!!
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if you can find anything even remotely as apallingly crass as this, let me know.
'Another Gay Movie'
[youtube=425,350]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ACgXr1BP6yA[/youtube]
You will want to:
1) stab your eyes out;
2) abandon humanity and return to the caves and trees with the sophisticated primates
direct link since i apparently suck at embedding you tube links
www.youtube.com/watch?v=ACgXr1BP6yA
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CULTURE IN THE WRONGGT PARADIGN AND WE ARE NOT APPRECIATING THE QUANTUM POWER OF THOUGHT or so says the lady in the obvious bad wig. She should have quantumed herself up some real hair
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It is amazing how often quantum theory is used to buttress new age beliefs and pseudoscience.
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It is amazing how often quantum theory is used to buttress new age beliefs and pseudoscience.
Yes, the way they talk about quantum mechanics, it is a mysterious magical power backed by science. But they never even explain what quantum mechanics actually means. If these people actually heard about Schrodinger's cat, they'd take it as SCIENTIFIC PROOF that you can bring your dead cat back to life.
But enough of that I AM CONTROELLING THE HOLODECK!!!
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Wait, Malek, this poorly edited interview with A REAL LIFE PHILOSOPHER says your mick canadian ass is FULL OF SHIT!!!
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Wait, Malek, this poorly edited interview with A REAL LIFE PHILOSOPHER says your mick canadian ass is FULL OF SHIT!!!
A number of philosophers have misused Quantum mechanics to support their various epistemic beliefs. Usually in an effort to scorn science.
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But this philosopher looks really jewish. That means he is wise.
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Ergh, I'm really not sure if I can continue this. It's really terrible. It does the whole "take a simple premise, but then assume the most logically improbably case explains it." It doesn't even try to like, cite evidence.
Also, notably, it doesn't give onscreen bylines explaining who the many people they talk to are. Everyone talking is largely anonymous, so you can't google their names to see just how much shit they are full of.
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Ergh, I'm really not sure if I can continue this. It's really terrible. It does the whole "take a simple premise, but then assume the most logically improbably case explains it." It doesn't even try to like, cite evidence.
Also, notably, it doesn't give onscreen bylines explaining who the many people they talk to are. Everyone talking is largely anonymous, so you can't google their names to see just how much shit they are full of.
It shows them at the end. I told you to read the site I linked! The girl with the fake accent believes she's channeling an ancient spirit.
Yeah, that's Ramtha. She's from Tacoma, IIRC. You have to believe youa re possessed by a 30000 year old warrior spirit in order to convince yourself that life is worth living if you are stuck in Tacoma. The movie was made by 3 of her students
This is the typical mind over matter bullshit that pops up like every decade, except they throw in the odd math or science term.
Someone just said the brain processes 4 billion bits of information per second, but WE ARE ONLY AWARE OF 2000 of them! THE MIND PROCESSES THINGS IN COMPUTER MEASUREMENTS OMG, AND THEY HAVE BEEN ACCURATELY MEASURED TO IMPOSSIBLKE ACCURACY INCLUDIN HOW MANY WE ARE AWARE OF.
This is "Why is the word 'gullible' written on the ceiling?" dumb. This is libertarian dumb. This is gold standard dumb. PD dumb. Christian dumb.
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at least Marlee Matlin is kind of cute, no?
Oh yeah, that's right, you're gay. Well there goes the only possible positive attribute of that "movie".
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Ecks vs. Sever
:bow
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I watched these three in one weekend a few years ago:
Kangaroo Jack (in the theaters!)
Master of Disguise
The Adventures of Pluto Nash
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well if you're ruining your brain with this, why not ruin your brain with the latter day self help phenomenon, THE SECRET
basically, the universe wants you to have a better car
and if you're really going to subject yourself to this, why not just get a small netflix account? this way you're not paying for the movies directly
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and if you're really going to subject yourself to this, why not just get a small netflix account? this way you're not paying for the movies directly
I'm planning on moving relatively soon, and the apartment complex I live in combined with the post off makes getting anything bigger than an envelope a relative chore. Basically, I would if I could but I can't, at least not now.
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then may i suggest just watching the entire masters of horror line up?
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then may i suggest just watching the entire masters of horror line up?
I watched all of season 1. You can probably find some posts by me about it here. I did not post them at GAF.
In hindsight, I found about half of the episodes good and entertaining, and there were maybe 1 or 2 really good ones. The others I was give or take on, fun stuff to watch at Halloween, little more. There were maybe 1 or 2 flat out bad episodes (Homecoming, I am looking at you).
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that series was so misguided by the production edicts that everything must have boobs and excessive blood. i hate that the horror market is guided by that.
i would rather have more Joshuas or Girl Next Doors (jack ketchum, not the teen sex thing), but unfortunately i'm in the minority.
as for Masters of Horror, i did like a few of the episodes (Imprint, Dreams in the Witch House, Jennifer) but found myself just embarrassed for the people involved with a great majority of them.
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that series was so misguided by the production edicts that everything must have boobs and excessive blood. i hate that the horror market is guided by that.
You are making me want to do a thread on it. I thought in general that the series was good at what it was--a TV series. I didn't go in expecting great films from the filmmakers. I knew there were probably restrictive rules and budgetary constraints, but that these were basically what the director would kind of do if given free reign. They chose their projects themselve and ran with them. Not all of them were titty-o-rama or gore-o-rama.
For example, Fair-Haired Child, while having an effective beginning, you could have GUESSED who the director was after seeing the ending, since the ending is terrible, and terribly reminiscent of the director's House on Haunted Hill remake. That is how he rolls. That episode was a slice of the director. A good setup with a lousy payoff.
I think other episodes were good, if rough, illustrations of their respective directors as well. I got what I expected.
i would rather have more Joshuas or Girl Next Doors (jack ketchum, not the teen sex thing), but unfortunately i'm in the minority.
Is there a movie based off the Girl Next Door? I recently read the book, and am familiar with the true story it is based on. Chilling, chilling shit. The true story is even creepier, though, because it is fucking real.
as for Masters of Horror, i did like a few of the episodes (Imprint, Dreams in the Witch House, Jennifer) but found myself just embarrassed for the people involved with a great majority of them.
I liked the three you named. Probably my favorites. I liked Fair Haired Child, too. I love the setup so much, even if it fumbles in the end. Cigarette Burns, also, was the best thing Carpenter has done in ages. It was derivative, but still good. I mean, he has set something of a low bar for himself the past, oh, two decades, but I really legitimately liked Cigarette Burns despite its issues.
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to be honest i haven't seen Fair-Haired Child or Burns. I honestly gave up. i'll add fair to my bloated netflix queue to give it a shot but i hadn't seen the haunted remake because the original movie and the book it is based on is damn near sacred to me.
Girl Next Door just hit dvd last week.
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Is Girl Next Door any good? Er, assuming you are familiar with it, or how it has been reviewed.
I say give Fair Haired Child a shot. Be warned the ending is bad, but everything up to the conclusion is really well done.
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girl next door is supposed to be excellent. it's shot as a drama not a torture porn film.
it's making its way to me, but an article i read with the director in rue morgue gave me plenty of faith even if the mainstream reviews when it played new york didn't.
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btw, it's cool that you joined the forum. Always good to see new blood. I try to foster good conversation sometimes, along with having some fun. I like GAF, but I really dig the smaller, more intimate community. Doesn't have to be so rule-y.
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well we have a lot of similar tastes but threads on that forum usually follow a fairly set pattern so there's rarely the chance to connect unless the community is small (like the gaf comic nerds). with less people vying for attention, it's easier to engage in dialogue which is what i'm kind of hoping for on EB.
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well we have a lot of similar tastes but threads on that forum usually follow a fairly set pattern so there's rarely the chance to connect unless the community is small (like the gaf comic nerds). with less people vying for attention, it's easier to engage in dialogue which is what i'm kind of hoping for on EB.
There are fewer people here, but I've had more good, informative, and fun discussions here than I have had at GAF in the past year. If I need to cast a wide net, like for classical music recs or something, I hit up GAF. If I am going to talk movies or games, I usually do it here.
GAF is just too big, with too many noisy young people (lol I'm old) that want to snark all the time. It is difficult to have a conversation there.