THE BORE

General => The Superdeep Borehole => Topic started by: Howard Alan Treesong on December 12, 2007, 12:10:15 AM

Title: organized religion is the devil
Post by: Howard Alan Treesong on December 12, 2007, 12:10:15 AM
Apparently, by asking my married Mormon friend to the holiday party last Friday, I "invited the Adversary into her heart." Now all her loser Mormon friends are telling her to never talk to me again, so as not to commit adultery. She's not going to cut me off entirely, but she's a bit flustered that hanging out for one evening at an extremely public party with a friend she's known for 17 years has caused such a stir.

GRRRRRRRRRR SO MAD
PATEL MELT VALUE GOLD TABLETS
Title: Re: organized religion is the devil
Post by: Human Snorenado on December 12, 2007, 12:12:54 AM
NO GOVERNMENT IS THE DEVIL RON PAUL IS THE ANSWER PATEL IT'S SOOOOOO SIMPLE!
Title: Re: organized religion is the devil
Post by: Madrun Badrun on December 12, 2007, 12:15:21 AM
thats sad.  People are fucking fickle. 
Title: Re: organized religion is the devil
Post by: Oblivion on December 12, 2007, 12:15:44 AM
Damn, that really sucks. Can't she just hang out with you in secret or something?
Title: Re: organized religion is the devil
Post by: etiolate on December 12, 2007, 12:18:06 AM
The whole "don't let __ into your heart" strategy is dangerous. If you don't let others into your heart, because it is so protected then you are going to end up rather cold, lonely and about everything I wouldn't ascribe to being spiritual. It is like being the crazy cat lady who got dumped once so she'll never trust a man again. It works in organized religions, because the cats equate to the church and God becomes an ever widening replacement for caring about others. They become co-dependent with the actual church and that benefits the church, despite being mentally and spiritually unhealthy.

OR AT LEAST THAT IS HOW I FEEL

doot doot
Title: Re: organized religion is the devil
Post by: Howard Alan Treesong on December 12, 2007, 12:18:14 AM
oh, her husband doesn't care. he knows me and knows I'm not in any way adulterous towards his wife (for starters, she's white!) so, I can still hang out with her, of course.

but I guess it will have to be secret from the COUNCIL OF ZION
Title: Re: organized religion is the devil
Post by: demi on December 12, 2007, 12:18:28 AM
so fuck her in the ass and show god who's boss
Title: Re: organized religion is the devil
Post by: The Fake Shemp on December 12, 2007, 12:18:34 AM
I don't understand the problem.  Unless there was a promise of punch and sexual intercourse, I'm not sure how this could be misconstrued by even the most hardcore of Mormons as adultery.
Title: Re: organized religion is the devil
Post by: Howard Alan Treesong on December 12, 2007, 12:19:47 AM
she went out and had a good time! with a man who isn't her husband! clearly she committed adultery in her heart, or thought about it, well, in any case, she's apparently only like two more parties away from going ASS-TO-ASS
Title: Re: organized religion is the devil
Post by: TVC15 on December 12, 2007, 12:20:37 AM
I don't understand the problem.  Unless there was a promise of punch and sexual intercourse, I'm not sure how this could be misconstrued by even the most hardcore of Mormons as adultery.

The most hardcore of mormons don't watch movies that are above a G rating, dude.  They are pretty damned hardcore.
Title: Re: organized religion is the devil
Post by: Flannel Boy on December 12, 2007, 12:21:28 AM
she went out and had a good time! with a man who isn't her husband! clearly she committed adultery in her heart, or thought about it, well, in any case, she's apparently only like two more parties away from going ASS-TO-COCK
:hump :hump :hump
Title: Re: organized religion is the devil
Post by: Phoenix Dark on December 12, 2007, 12:28:41 AM
Patel must be one hell of a creepy dude
Title: Re: organized religion is the devil
Post by: etiolate on December 12, 2007, 12:29:25 AM
wait patel wants to go ass-to-ass with a chick?
Title: Re: organized religion is the devil
Post by: TVC15 on December 12, 2007, 12:32:05 AM
Why Patel, I never!
Title: Re: organized religion is the devil
Post by: demi on December 12, 2007, 12:33:50 AM
i mean it wouldnt hurt to just slip it in
Title: Re: organized religion is the devil
Post by: TVC15 on December 12, 2007, 12:40:41 AM
ass to ass should only be reserved for people that truly love each other, like me and demi
Title: Re: organized religion is the devil
Post by: The Fake Shemp on December 12, 2007, 12:43:16 AM
Wrong, heathen.  If there is love and Jesus in your heart, then ass to ass is only for you and God.
Title: Re: organized religion is the devil
Post by: etiolate on December 12, 2007, 12:43:50 AM
*waves a $20 in the air*
Title: Re: organized religion is the devil
Post by: Shuri on December 12, 2007, 12:45:08 AM
I save my juice for Jesus. how about you, reader?
Title: Re: organized religion is the devil
Post by: Howard Alan Treesong on December 12, 2007, 12:45:44 AM
Wrong, heathen.  If there is love and Jesus in your heart, then ass to ass is only for you and God.

cue that awesome picture TVC has with freaky quotes
Title: Re: organized religion is the devil
Post by: etiolate on December 12, 2007, 12:49:23 AM
"How bad do you need that tithing money?"
(http://xahlee.org/Periodic_dosage_dir/skina/requiem/cap279.jpg)
Title: Re: organized religion is the devil
Post by: TVC15 on December 12, 2007, 12:50:21 AM
(http://xfamily.org/images/thumb/1/14/Tamar_558.jpg/425px-Tamar_558.jpg)

"Me, you, and ass-to-ass, Patel.  I will even alter my appearance as to look like the chingest of chongas.  Are you juicy for Jesus?"
Title: Re: organized religion is the devil
Post by: Phoenix Dark on December 12, 2007, 01:26:20 AM
http://forums.sohh.com/showpost.php?p=1058613072&postcount=4