THE BORE

General => The Superdeep Borehole => Topic started by: Billy Rygar on December 16, 2007, 05:50:05 PM

Title: I duddits! Dreamcatcher and Megalodon.
Post by: Billy Rygar on December 16, 2007, 05:50:05 PM
I spent my saturday watching these two film, both of which are legendary for their lack of quality.

There is a scene in Dreamcatcher in which Morgan Freeman, playing a military general and bringing all the gravitas that he can bring to something so horrendous, has a moment of weakness and spills his heart out to Tom Sizemore about this being his last mission and how much his job meant to him.  It is typical Hollywood schmaltz meant to endear this old man, who has spent his life defending America, to the audience.  The problem with this set up is that the scene comes just moments after Mr. Freeman has shot a young soldier's finger off for letting someone through his checkpoint.  This incongruity of ideas and moods is central to what makes Dreamcatcher such an terrible movie. At every step the movie fails miserably to make anything fit together, as  an alien invasion and the fall of mankind is brought upon a belabored diahrrhea joke that would be uncomfortable in American Pie, people who can communicate telepathically call each other on the telephone, and the aforementioned Freeman veers wildly from gruff soldier with a heart of gold to psychopath.  The movie takes two its two central literary devices from the book, the metaphor of the dreamcatcher and a man locking himself inside a memory warehouse in his head (which are both shitty to begin with), and makes them literal in the film.  The man locked inside the warehouse in his head?  He is actually locked inside a Terry Gilliamesque warehouse where an alien chases him around as he tries to burn old memories, and if that doesn't get the point across the film shows the man peering outside the dirty windows of the warehouse onto the action outside his head.  What's the Dreamcatcher metaphor you ask?  If you can't figure this one out by the end of the movie you're a fucking idiot, as the movie literally tells you this one no less than five times in the plainest language imaginable.  This movie does have one redeeming quality, in Morgan Freeman's bizaarely patriotic speech in which he tells Tom Sizemore that he wants to stop the alien invasion because "these people drive Chevrolets, shop at Walmart, and never miss an episode of Friends.  These are Americans." Truer words about American's were never spoken Mr Freeman.  Almost brings a tear to your eyes.  Almost

Megalodon is easier to review:

[youtube=425,350]1nzd0R_OeOc[/youtube]

[youtube=425,350]w1XOfHax6Q8[/youtube]
Title: Re: I duddits! Dreamcatcher and Megalodon.
Post by: Mupepe on December 16, 2007, 05:58:57 PM
Dreamcatcher: 4000/10   Best review score ever.