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General => The Superdeep Borehole => Topic started by: Van Cruncheon on December 27, 2007, 01:17:39 AM

Title: how to tell when somebody knows fuck-all about movies
Post by: Van Cruncheon on December 27, 2007, 01:17:39 AM
...they start assigning arbitrary scores to them and ranking them.

really, it's almost to the point now that i won't read remarks on movies around here if i see an X/10 at the end of them. it seems to be a peculiarity endemic to our more shallow observers of cinema, as though they can manufacture truth or canon from contrived enumeration rather than articulate arguments backed with experience.

movies, like games, don't deserve scores or ranking save as part of a trolling effort. discuss!
Title: Re: how to tell when somebody knows fuck-all about movies
Post by: Flannel Boy on December 27, 2007, 01:18:36 AM
I give this thread a 6.9/10
Title: Re: how to tell when somebody knows fuck-all about movies
Post by: MrAngryFace on December 27, 2007, 01:18:59 AM
or someone who calls a movie that isn't pedestrian exactly that, and then waits for someone to define what he meant by that for him before claiming he was trolling all along.
Title: Re: how to tell when somebody knows fuck-all about movies
Post by: Van Cruncheon on December 27, 2007, 01:19:33 AM
i give this thread dirty dumpster head in the cage behind burger king
Title: Re: how to tell when somebody knows fuck-all about movies
Post by: Flannel Boy on December 27, 2007, 01:20:22 AM
 :o

:burgerking
Title: Re: how to tell when somebody knows fuck-all about movies
Post by: demi on December 27, 2007, 01:22:13 AM
you got zinged in your gaf thread dood
Title: Re: how to tell when somebody knows fuck-all about movies
Post by: Van Cruncheon on December 27, 2007, 01:23:11 AM
don't i know it; that's what i get for watching 30 rock while tabbed browsing

i blame the superior ie7
Title: Re: how to tell when somebody knows fuck-all about movies
Post by: MCD on December 27, 2007, 01:26:20 AM
IE7  :bow :bow :bow

Title: Re: how to tell when somebody knows fuck-all about movies
Post by: demi on December 27, 2007, 01:28:18 AM
d00d :bear
Title: Re: how to tell when somebody knows fuck-all about movies
Post by: Flannel Boy on December 27, 2007, 01:28:55 AM
IE7  :bow :bow :bow


I give it 4 firefoxes out of 12 Operas.
Title: Re: how to tell when somebody knows fuck-all about movies
Post by: brawndolicious on December 27, 2007, 01:30:53 AM
giving a movie a score is totally useless and is usually an indication that the person doesn't trust their own opinion and is vaguely rating how much the movie rubbed him the right or wrong way.  I know that 99% of people that give movies a score are too dumb to understand movies.  yes I'm saying that.  I shit on your opinions movie-scorers.  bitches.
Title: Re: how to tell when somebody knows fuck-all about movies
Post by: Flannel Boy on December 27, 2007, 01:34:23 AM
giving a movie a score is totally useless and is usually an indication that the person doesn't trust their own opinion and is vaguely rating how much the movie rubbed him the right or wrong way.  I know that 99% of people that give movies a score are too dumb to understand movies.  yes I'm saying that.  I shit on your opinions movie-scorers.  bitches.
Professional reviewers do it because it is demanded of them. Some of us online do it because we aren't film experts and just want to communicate how we generally felt about a movie.
Title: Re: how to tell when somebody knows fuck-all about movies
Post by: Howard Alan Treesong on December 27, 2007, 01:36:37 AM
I kind of agree, giving something a numeric score in normal discussion is just dumb
Title: Re: how to tell when somebody knows fuck-all about movies
Post by: demi on December 27, 2007, 01:36:46 AM
haha people are taking your thread on GAF seriously, who got the last laugh now

dood!
Title: Re: how to tell when somebody knows fuck-all about movies
Post by: MCD on December 27, 2007, 01:37:15 AM
I prefer A/B/C score system.
Title: Re: how to tell when somebody knows fuck-all about movies
Post by: Flannel Boy on December 27, 2007, 01:39:06 AM
I prefer A/B/C score system.
I give this post a BJ.
Title: Re: how to tell when somebody knows fuck-all about movies
Post by: Van Cruncheon on December 27, 2007, 01:39:52 AM
giving a movie a score is totally useless and is usually an indication that the person doesn't trust their own opinion and is vaguely rating how much the movie rubbed him the right or wrong way.  I know that 99% of people that give movies a score are too dumb to understand movies.  yes I'm saying that.  I shit on your opinions movie-scorers.  bitches.
Professional reviewers do it because it is demanded of them. Some of us online do it because we aren't film experts and just want to communicate how we generally felt about a movie.

numbers: because words are hard
Title: Re: how to tell when somebody knows fuck-all about movies
Post by: brawndolicious on December 27, 2007, 01:40:24 AM
Professional reviewers do it because it is demanded of them. Some of us online do it because we aren't film experts and just want to communicate how we generally felt about a movie.
I'm not talking about professional reviews.  I don't read them.  Doing that on a forum still doesn't make sense.  I'd prefer to know what the movie is about, what it does right, and what it does wrong.  if it extremely good, then give examples.  that actually tells me something.
Title: Re: how to tell when somebody knows fuck-all about movies
Post by: MCD on December 27, 2007, 01:42:20 AM
Malek  :rofl
Title: Re: how to tell when somebody knows fuck-all about movies
Post by: Flannel Boy on December 27, 2007, 01:43:12 AM
giving a movie a score is totally useless and is usually an indication that the person doesn't trust their own opinion and is vaguely rating how much the movie rubbed him the right or wrong way.  I know that 99% of people that give movies a score are too dumb to understand movies.  yes I'm saying that.  I shit on your opinions movie-scorers.  bitches.
Professional reviewers do it because it is demanded of them. Some of us online do it because we aren't film experts and just want to communicate how we generally felt about a movie.

numbers: because words are hard
:gloomy

edit: I can still use emoticons, right?
Title: Re: how to tell when somebody knows fuck-all about movies
Post by: Human Snorenado on December 27, 2007, 01:44:04 AM
I was going to say "they're a teenager from Michigan", but this works as well.
Title: Re: how to tell when somebody knows fuck-all about movies
Post by: TVC15 on December 27, 2007, 01:45:01 AM
You know what I know?

spoiler (click to show/hide)
[youtube=425,350]ZQcUS4chhc4[/youtube]
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Title: Re: how to tell when somebody knows fuck-all about movies
Post by: Phoenix Dark on December 27, 2007, 03:13:36 AM
Ratings are a general way of expressing one's feelings on a film. Some may say something like "the movie was rather average to me" during a conversation, while others may say "the movie was like a 7/10 type film to me". Both comments are similar and I haven no problem with either.
Title: Re: how to tell when somebody knows fuck-all about movies
Post by: CajoleJuice on December 27, 2007, 03:22:37 AM
Who the fuck gives ratings in everyday conversation?
Title: Re: how to tell when somebody knows fuck-all about movies
Post by: Oblivion on December 27, 2007, 03:28:41 AM
movies, like games, don't deserve scores or ranking save as part of a trolling effort. discuss!

Really, you think so? Even if you don't use numbers, you would still need to point out if X game/movie is better than Y game/movie, wouldn't you?
Title: Re: how to tell when somebody knows fuck-all about movies
Post by: Mupepe on December 27, 2007, 03:30:13 AM
who decides which number means what?
Title: Re: how to tell when somebody knows fuck-all about movies
Post by: Bloodwake on December 27, 2007, 03:31:49 AM
I give ratings on the internet.

The difference is that I give GOOD ratings with some explanation that makes some fucking sense behind it.
Title: Re: how to tell when somebody knows fuck-all about movies
Post by: brawndolicious on December 27, 2007, 03:31:56 AM
Really, you think so? Even if you don't use numbers, you would still need to point out if X game/movie is better than Y game/movie, wouldn't you?
no.  most games, like most movies, do a bunch of shit different and that could make somebody prefer one over the other regardless of the score.  maybe an ABCDF system could work but that's a maybe.
Title: Re: how to tell when somebody knows fuck-all about movies
Post by: bud on December 27, 2007, 09:14:48 AM
i just realized that pretty much the only people on eb who keep rating every movie and make top whatever# lists are pd and gay. maybe it's a michigan thing.
Title: Re: how to tell when somebody knows fuck-all about movies
Post by: Gay Boy on December 27, 2007, 09:20:35 AM
i just realized that pretty much the only people on eb who keep rating every movie and make top whatever# lists are pd and gay. maybe it's a michigan thing.
I don't do it in real life. PD does. I remember he did it to me once and I found it hilarious. I use it on the internet because its an easy way to explain something. In real life I never would. PD does though.  :lol

He gave back some movie he borrowed and was like "it was about a 7.5" and I laughed and told him I couldn't believe he used numbers in real conversation.

I give ratings on the internet.

Yeah, just the internet. When I hear it out of someones mouth in reality (like PD did) it freaked me out.
Title: Re: how to tell when somebody knows fuck-all about movies
Post by: Powerslave on December 27, 2007, 09:25:00 AM
Not just movies but I cant stand ratings for anything. I never read reviews.
Title: Re: how to tell when somebody knows fuck-all about movies
Post by: Mandark on December 27, 2007, 09:41:52 AM
Hey guys!  I just watched The Quantification Of Cheebs: How I Forged An Identity And Unearned Sense Of Authority Through Numeric Ranking.

I'd give it a 6/10, which isn't bad for a Lifetime movie.
Title: Re: how to tell when somebody knows fuck-all about movies
Post by: Van Cruncheon on December 27, 2007, 12:15:42 PM
when am nintenho is arguing against you and making sense -- a celestial event if there ever was one -- you're on the wrong side.
Title: Re: how to tell when somebody knows fuck-all about movies
Post by: MrAngryFace on December 27, 2007, 12:49:04 PM
Yes but in your world these numbers are only accurate when grouped with GOOD reviews with numbers that ALIGN with the review.

You look at PD here all alone at evilbore posting his bad reviews all alone and its just a horrible representation of a movie.
Title: Re: how to tell when somebody knows fuck-all about movies
Post by: Gay Boy on December 27, 2007, 12:55:54 PM
PD posting weird lengthy roger ebertish reviews has become somesort of insane EB tradition, it won't go away.

Plus, I mean who can deny the greatness of his Unforgiven review thread?
Title: Re: how to tell when somebody knows fuck-all about movies
Post by: MrAngryFace on December 27, 2007, 12:58:16 PM
its just hard to read things that are wrong. its like being sent to school with a math book telling you 2+2=3
Title: Re: how to tell when somebody knows fuck-all about movies
Post by: Gay Boy on December 27, 2007, 01:03:20 PM
I am too lazy to find it but the most under-rated review in terms of insanity is the one where he gave that forgettable 90's kids movie Matilda a 10/10.
Title: Re: how to tell when somebody knows fuck-all about movies
Post by: Barry Egan on December 27, 2007, 01:13:57 PM
Hey guys!  I just watched The Quantification Of Cheebs: How I Forged An Identity And Unearned Sense Of Authority Through Numeric Ranking.

I'd give it a 6/10, which isn't bad for a Lifetime movie.

 :lol :lol :lol
Title: Re: how to tell when somebody knows fuck-all about movies
Post by: Madrun Badrun on December 27, 2007, 02:30:19 PM
I like giving unless ratings of media. 
Title: Re: how to tell when somebody knows fuck-all about movies
Post by: Phoenix Dark on December 27, 2007, 02:39:46 PM
Yes but in your world these numbers are only accurate when grouped with GOOD reviews with numbers that ALIGN with the review.

You look at PD here all alone at evilbore posting his bad reviews all alone and its just a horrible representation of a movie.

Whatever softbun, I like most movies you like - and considering you like Underworld and T3 you're not a bastion of great taste either
Title: Re: how to tell when somebody knows fuck-all about movies
Post by: CurseoftheGods on December 27, 2007, 03:09:47 PM
giving a movie a score is totally useless and is usually an indication that the person doesn't trust their own opinion and is vaguely rating how much the movie rubbed him the right or wrong way.  I know that 99% of people that give movies a score are too dumb to understand movies.  yes I'm saying that.  I shit on your opinions movie-scorers.  bitches.
Professional reviewers do it because it is demanded of them. Some of us online do it because we aren't film experts and just want to communicate how we generally felt about a movie.

Exactly. That's why I do it.
Title: Re: how to tell when somebody knows fuck-all about movies
Post by: Mandark on December 27, 2007, 03:21:50 PM
Numbers are a good a system as any if you're just looking to gauge the general critical reception by aggregating a bunch of different reviews.

It's pointless on an individual basis.  A score adds nothing to a well written review, and it doesn't save a poorly written one.

I think a lot of the time listmania comes from wanting to act like an authority, prolly from not having other ways to establish identity or individuality.  This condition is fairly common in teenagers and Manabytes.
Title: Re: how to tell when somebody knows fuck-all about movies
Post by: CajoleJuice on December 27, 2007, 03:22:57 PM
I give Manabyte's life a 1/10.
Title: Re: how to tell when somebody knows fuck-all about movies
Post by: Phoenix Dark on December 27, 2007, 03:27:14 PM
I give Manabyte's life a 1/10.

That's also his mortality rate, what a coincidence
Title: Re: how to tell when somebody knows fuck-all about movies
Post by: Van Cruncheon on December 27, 2007, 03:45:33 PM
i'm not complaining about professional reviewers. i'm complaining about forum idiots who do it to portray a false sense of authority, or to pre-emptively establish canon. TALK ABOUT THE FUCKING MOVIE. don't try to excuse your lack of insight through spurious comparisons or arbitrary enumeration.
Title: Re: how to tell when somebody knows fuck-all about movies
Post by: Bloodwake on December 27, 2007, 03:52:47 PM
Funny story: I didn't put a score on my Doctor Who Christmas Special review.

Follow the example fuckers.
Title: Re: how to tell when somebody knows fuck-all about movies
Post by: Van Cruncheon on December 27, 2007, 04:04:39 PM
you'll note that tvc, maf, and ichi never put scores on their reviews, either.
Title: Re: how to tell when somebody knows fuck-all about movies
Post by: CajoleJuice on December 27, 2007, 04:06:32 PM
I might have snuck a score once in a blue moon, but the vast majority of the time, I don't.
Title: Re: how to tell when somebody knows fuck-all about movies
Post by: The Fake Shemp on December 27, 2007, 04:17:01 PM
I give dumb scores - like GERSTMANNS out of GERSTMANNS or B-
Title: Re: how to tell when somebody knows fuck-all about movies
Post by: Phoenix Dark on December 27, 2007, 04:37:51 PM
you'll note that tvc, maf, and ichi never put scores on their reviews, either.

Solo does
Title: Re: how to tell when somebody knows fuck-all about movies
Post by: Van Cruncheon on December 27, 2007, 04:42:56 PM
solo also writes like he's writing for a college paper overall
Title: Re: how to tell when somebody knows fuck-all about movies
Post by: The Fake Shemp on December 27, 2007, 04:47:11 PM
You write like your writing for Usenet, so YOU SHUT UP!
Title: Re: how to tell when somebody knows fuck-all about movies
Post by: Mandark on December 27, 2007, 04:48:15 PM
You write like your writing for Usenet, so YOU SHUT UP!

Are you deliberately trolling me?
Title: Re: how to tell when somebody knows fuck-all about movies
Post by: The Fake Shemp on December 27, 2007, 04:49:02 PM
Maybe I'm am, Mandark.  Maybe I'm am.
Title: Re: how to tell when somebody knows fuck-all about movies
Post by: Van Cruncheon on December 27, 2007, 04:49:25 PM
my forum style has completely flip-flopped since my usenet days, when i fastidiously observed rules of syntax and grammar, and never abused the emdash
Title: Re: how to tell when somebody knows fuck-all about movies
Post by: The Fake Shemp on December 27, 2007, 04:50:34 PM
I see life has worn you down.  Way to give up!
Title: Re: how to tell when somebody knows fuck-all about movies
Post by: CajoleJuice on December 27, 2007, 05:06:33 PM
He's probably wearing sweatpants right now.
Title: Re: how to tell when somebody knows fuck-all about movies
Post by: bud on December 27, 2007, 05:11:18 PM
i am now picturing george sitting behind his desk, tabbed browsing the interweb using ie7, wearing sweatpants
Title: Re: how to tell when somebody knows fuck-all about movies
Post by: Oblivion on December 27, 2007, 05:13:49 PM
when am nintenho is arguing against you and making sense -- a celestial event if there ever was one -- you're on the wrong side.

I was just seeking clarification, that's all.  :-[
Title: Re: how to tell when somebody knows fuck-all about movies
Post by: Flannel Boy on December 27, 2007, 05:38:49 PM
Maybe I'm am, Mandark.  Maybe I'm am.

 :lol

He's probably wearing sweatpants right now.
:lol :lol

Title: Re: how to tell when somebody knows fuck-all about movies
Post by: Solo on December 30, 2007, 04:17:48 PM
solo also writes like he's writing for a college paper overall

I just graduated college a few weeks ago. Guess I need to upgrade my skills now.
Title: Re: how to tell when somebody knows fuck-all about movies
Post by: ferrarimanf355 on December 30, 2007, 05:44:22 PM
when am nintenho is arguing against you and making sense -- a celestial event if there ever was one -- you're on the wrong side.
:lol >:(
Title: Re: how to tell when somebody knows fuck-all about movies
Post by: recursivelyenumerable on December 30, 2007, 10:01:20 PM
I'm wearing a sweater and jeans.
Title: Re: how to tell when somebody knows fuck-all about movies
Post by: BlueTsunami on December 30, 2007, 10:10:17 PM
Unless you've got some mathematic formula for each aspect of a film that you can grade precisely and unbiased, I honestly don't know how you can give it a numbered score.
Title: Re: how to tell when somebody knows fuck-all about movies
Post by: brawndolicious on December 31, 2007, 12:38:50 AM
when am nintenho is arguing against you and making sense -- a celestial event if there ever was one -- you're on the wrong side.
:lol >:(
:(

spoiler (click to show/hide)
what kind of self-respecting black man says that they liked diary of a mad black woman?
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