THE BORE

General => The Superdeep Borehole => Topic started by: flonamen on January 12, 2008, 09:03:21 PM

Title: What's the best way to get rid of Jehovah Witness'?
Post by: flonamen on January 12, 2008, 09:03:21 PM
Around 7 this morning I was awoken by a loud knock, so I opened to see an old lady, a woman, and some girl that looked to be around 7 standing at my door. I said hello and they asked me if I went to church, I said no, the older lady asked if she could read a couple of scriptures, being half-awake and not wanting to be rude I said sure, she read something from Job about suffering and death or some such, and then handed me some pamphlets. She then asked if she could come back sometime and to my dismay I said yes :'( Does anyone have any tips to get rid of them? Or what do you do when they knock your door?

BTW, in one of the pamphlets they gave me there's this hilarious passage: "The fact that we have an inborn desire to live and an enormous capacity to learn leads to a logical conclusion: Humans are designed to live much longer than a mere 70 or 80 years. This, in turn, leads us to another conclusion: There must be a Designer, a Creator, a God. The immutable laws of the physical universe and the unfathomable complexity of life on Earth fully support belief in the existence of a Creator.

Oh and it also has a section asking where you see pornography mostly :lol
Title: Re: What's the best way to get rid of Jehovah Witness'?
Post by: bud on January 12, 2008, 09:07:50 PM
i guess you could say that you're already religious. like, a jew, or a muslim, or that you're a member of the baha'i faith.
Title: Re: What's the best way to get rid of Jehovah Witness'?
Post by: drew on January 12, 2008, 09:11:08 PM
Tell them to leave or you'll call the police.  Shut the door on them.  Learn how to be rude.

Same goes with filthy beggars.
Title: Re: What's the best way to get rid of Jehovah Witness'?
Post by: AdmiralViscen on January 12, 2008, 09:19:48 PM
Answer the door naked. With shit on your dick.
Title: Re: What's the best way to get rid of Jehovah Witness'?
Post by: TVC15 on January 12, 2008, 09:57:47 PM
semi-automatic shotguns.  Works on mormon missionaries, too.  That's value.

(http://www.kitsune.addr.com/Firearms/Shotguns/Franchi_SPAS-12-2.jpg)

If you want to put a little effort, and are confident in your acting skills, pander to them poorly enough that they know you are mocking them.  This works very well with scientologists.
Title: Re: What's the best way to get rid of Jehovah Witness'?
Post by: Fresh Prince on January 12, 2008, 10:05:27 PM
You should of said you'll be doing gardening/house chores later on.
Title: Re: What's the best way to get rid of Jehovah Witness'?
Post by: Eric P on January 12, 2008, 10:26:29 PM
i had witnesses change my car tire when it had a flat once.

best visit ever
Title: Re: What's the best way to get rid of Jehovah Witness'?
Post by: Cormacaroni on January 12, 2008, 10:46:59 PM
Allow them a glimpse of the bloody human head in a pot on your stove. Then smile and ask them in.
Title: Re: What's the best way to get rid of Jehovah Witness'?
Post by: Eric P on January 12, 2008, 10:58:59 PM
"you're missionaries?  that's kind of hot.  prefer reverse cowgirl myself, but you're the guests."  start undoing your belt "ok, who's first?"
Title: Re: What's the best way to get rid of Jehovah Witness'?
Post by: CurseoftheGods on January 12, 2008, 11:04:18 PM
Quote from: AdmiralViscen on January 12, 2008, 09:19:48 PM
Answer the door naked. With shit on your dick.

Oh God. :lol
Title: Re: What's the best way to get rid of Jehovah Witness'?
Post by: TVC15 on January 12, 2008, 11:06:10 PM
Quote from: CurseoftheGods on January 12, 2008, 11:04:18 PM
Quote from: AdmiralViscen on January 12, 2008, 09:19:48 PM
Answer the door naked. With shit on your dick.

Oh God. :lol

I say naked, shit on the dick, while
spoiler (click to show/hide)
wearing a cravat
[close]
Title: Re: What's the best way to get rid of Jehovah Witness'?
Post by: AdmiralViscen on January 12, 2008, 11:23:05 PM
Quote from: TVC 15 on January 12, 2008, 11:06:10 PM
Quote from: CurseoftheGods on January 12, 2008, 11:04:18 PM
Quote from: AdmiralViscen on January 12, 2008, 09:19:48 PM
Answer the door naked. With shit on your dick.

Oh God. :lol

I say naked, shit on the dick, while
spoiler (click to show/hide)
wearing a cravat
[close]

(http://imageshock.eu/img/1835878,310cravat4.jpg)
(http://i211.photobucket.com/albums/bb165/mrangryface_bucket/Avatars/avatar-2.jpg)

:rofl


spoiler (click to show/hide)
http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.ibiblio.org/samneill/pictures/omen3/310cravat4.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.ibiblio.org/samneill/pictures/omen3/index.html&h=376&w=464&sz=70&hl=en&start=6&um=1&tbnid=S5UHzj5dig_5CM:&tbnh=104&tbnw=128&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dcravat%26svnum%3D10%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DN
[close]
Title: Re: What's the best way to get rid of Jehovah Witness'?
Post by: lordmaji on January 12, 2008, 11:31:04 PM
tell em you're not interested.

Be cocky if you want, but if you want to be nice then tell them no thanks.
Title: Re: What's the best way to get rid of Jehovah Witness'?
Post by: brawndolicious on January 12, 2008, 11:35:58 PM
ask them what they think about "divinity".

they will shit themselves.  my friend did it to some JW's once and they had no idea what he was talking about.