THE BORE

General => The Superdeep Borehole => Topic started by: Van Cruncheon on February 05, 2008, 11:51:12 PM

Title: bedtime conversations with three-year-olds
Post by: Van Cruncheon on February 05, 2008, 11:51:12 PM: "daddy, it's time to talk."

"okay, but i'm not gonna sing to you if we chat. what do you want to talk about, sweetie?"

"daddy, do boys have butts in the front?"

"oh jesus."

"in the front is a butt." *points at her crotch*

"boys and girls have butts in the back. the butt is where poop comes from. what's in the front, uh, what girls have, uh, is called a vulva."

"a bulba is a butt?"

"no. it's er, ah, uh, well, it's where pee comes from with girls, and it's not a butt."

"it's a butt in the front!"

"no no no. in the front, that's a vulva."

"oh. cousin elliott has a tail in front!"

"i am going to sing to you now. we shall never talk again."

:-\ note to self: go back in time, punch self in crotch repeatedly. :'( also: consider a monastic life.
Title: Re: bedtime conversations with three-year-olds
Post by: CajoleJuice on February 05, 2008, 11:52:44 PM: hahahaha
Title: Re: bedtime conversations with three-year-olds
Post by: Beezy on February 05, 2008, 11:54:29 PM: Quote from: Professor Prole on February 05, 2008, 11:51:12 PM
"oh. cousin elliott has a tail in front!"
:rofl :rofl :rofl
Title: Re: bedtime conversations with three-year-olds
Post by: demi on February 05, 2008, 11:54:41 PM: DOLORES!!!!
Title: Re: bedtime conversations with three-year-olds
Post by: Oblivion on February 05, 2008, 11:55:26 PM: This is why I'll never have kids.

spoiler (click to show/hide)
Well, that and the impotence.
[close]
Title: Re: bedtime conversations with three-year-olds
Post by: Smooth Groove on February 05, 2008, 11:56:16 PM: Why don't you tell her to ask Mommy instead?
Title: Re: bedtime conversations with three-year-olds
Post by: Van Cruncheon on February 05, 2008, 11:56:21 PM: whenever fuckin "cousin elliott" has to go to the bathroom, he yanks his pants and underwear off WHERE HE IS STANDING, and THEN TRUNDLES OFF TO THE BATHROOM. as a result, i hafta explain this sordid business of genitalia.
Title: Re: bedtime conversations with three-year-olds
Post by: Madrun Badrun on February 05, 2008, 11:58:45 PM: What do you sing to your daughter?

spoiler (click to show/hide)
post a sound file! :lol
[close]
Title: Re: bedtime conversations with three-year-olds
Post by: TVC15 on February 05, 2008, 11:59:23 PM: This cousin elliott character sounds like an exhibitionist. I bet he grows up to be The Minotaur someday.
Title: Re: bedtime conversations with three-year-olds
Post by: Van Cruncheon on February 05, 2008, 11:59:39 PM: i sing

take me out to the ballgame
itsy bitsy spider
i'll tell me ma (an irish folksong)
twinkle twinkle little star

usually in exactly that order.
Title: Re: bedtime conversations with three-year-olds
Post by: lordmaji on February 05, 2008, 11:59:53 PM: :lol you had this conversation w/ your child?
Title: Re: bedtime conversations with three-year-olds
Post by: CajoleJuice on February 06, 2008, 12:00:50 AM: Quote from: Professor Prole on February 05, 2008, 11:59:39 PM
i sing

take me out to the ballgame

Drinky awesomeness confirmed.
Title: Re: bedtime conversations with three-year-olds
Post by: Van Cruncheon on February 06, 2008, 12:01:33 AM: Quote from: TVC 15 on February 05, 2008, 11:59:23 PM
This cousin elliott character sounds like an exhibitionist. I bet he grows up to be The Minotaur someday.

this would not even surprise me. he is a brilliant and monstrous child.
Title: Re: bedtime conversations with three-year-olds
Post by: Madrun Badrun on February 06, 2008, 12:01:57 AM: Quote from: Professor Prole on February 05, 2008, 11:59:39 PM
i sing

take me out to the ballgame
itsy bitsy spider
i'll tell me ma (an irish folksong)
twinkle twinkle little star

usually in exactly that order.

How boring. I'd rather talk about vaginas any day.
Title: Re: bedtime conversations with three-year-olds
Post by: CajoleJuice on February 06, 2008, 12:02:34 AM: Quote from: Professor Prole on February 06, 2008, 12:01:33 AM
Quote from: TVC 15 on February 05, 2008, 11:59:23 PM
This cousin elliott character sounds like an exhibitionist. I bet he grows up to be The Minotaur someday.

this would not even surprise me. he is a brilliant and monstrous child.

So it's like that Curb episode?
Title: Re: bedtime conversations with three-year-olds
Post by: Van Cruncheon on February 06, 2008, 12:02:51 AM: not with my daughter you don't, you cravat-sporting pervo
Title: Re: bedtime conversations with three-year-olds
Post by: The Fake Shemp on February 06, 2008, 12:02:56 AM: Cousin Elliot must be stopped. For your child's sake.
Title: Re: bedtime conversations with three-year-olds
Post by: Powerslave on February 06, 2008, 12:04:26 AM: this isnt even real
Title: Re: bedtime conversations with three-year-olds
Post by: Madrun Badrun on February 06, 2008, 12:04:45 AM: Quote from: Professor Prole on February 06, 2008, 12:02:51 AM
not with my daughter you don't, you cravat-sporting pervo

I didn't mean it that way! >:(
Title: Re: bedtime conversations with three-year-olds
Post by: Van Cruncheon on February 06, 2008, 12:04:50 AM: he's honestly unstoppable. he's a month younger than my daughter, but is more articulate than most five year olds, and is HUGE. he dwarfs my daughter. my brother has taught him to sock adult males in the scrotum for everyone's amusement. he is a fearsome nordbrood horror.
Title: Re: bedtime conversations with three-year-olds
Post by: Van Cruncheon on February 06, 2008, 12:05:59 AM: Quote from: Powerslave on February 06, 2008, 12:04:26 AM
this isnt even real

it is 95% real. the last line is faked, because i didn't want to type up a bunch of giggling and father mocking repetition.
Title: Re: bedtime conversations with three-year-olds
Post by: CajoleJuice on February 06, 2008, 12:06:44 AM: Quote from: Powerslave on February 06, 2008, 12:04:26 AM
this isnt even real

:lol @ your new avatar
Title: Re: bedtime conversations with three-year-olds
Post by: drew on February 06, 2008, 12:10:18 AM: :lol

classic
Title: Re: bedtime conversations with three-year-olds
Post by: The Fake Shemp on February 06, 2008, 12:12:13 AM: Quote from: Professor Prole on February 06, 2008, 12:04:50 AM
he's honestly unstoppable. he's a month younger than my daughter, but is more articulate than most five year olds, and is HUGE. he dwarfs my daughter. my brother has taught him to suck adult males in the scrotum for everyone's amusement. he is a fearsome nordbrood horror.

:o
Title: Re: bedtime conversations with three-year-olds
Post by: Himu on February 06, 2008, 12:13:22 AM: :rofl :rofl
Title: Re: bedtime conversations with three-year-olds
Post by: Joe Molotov on February 06, 2008, 12:36:50 AM: Tell her that Cousin Elliot has a tail because he is a freak of nature, and that's why you're going to have to put him down.
Title: Re: bedtime conversations with three-year-olds
Post by: T234 on February 06, 2008, 12:46:12 AM: I couldn't imagine having such a conversation.