THE BORE

General => The Superdeep Borehole => Topic started by: MrAngryFace on February 25, 2008, 02:41:18 PM

Title: Basements not the safest place during tornadoes?
Post by: MrAngryFace on February 25, 2008, 02:41:18 PM: Quote
MEMPHIS, TN—Officials from the National Weather Service issued a severe weather alert for all basements in Tennessee Tuesday after a deadly new weather phenomenon ravaged scores of residential downstairs areas, leaving every other part of the houses completely untouched. The recently discovered targeted cyclones, known as basement tornadoes, tore through cellars all over the state, killing dozens and injuring hundreds.

Calling the recent devastation the worst indoor weather event in U.S. history, weather service director Dr. John L. Hayes said that millions of residents who have for years been taught to seek shelter from twisters by taking refuge in their homes will have to drastically adjust long-held assumptions about tornado safety and preparedness.

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/tennessee_helpless_against_new
Title: Re: Basements not the safest place during tornadoes?
Post by: Tauntaun on February 25, 2008, 04:26:24 PM: The ramifications of this news has choked out my JO fantasy with Mups.
Title: Re: Basements not the safest place during tornadoes?
Post by: CajoleJuice on February 25, 2008, 04:30:40 PM: God is trying to wipe out the South. How ironic.
Title: Re: Basements not the safest place during tornadoes?
Post by: Joe Molotov on February 25, 2008, 04:56:14 PM: I guess I have no choice now but to find an old barn, strap myself to a pole, and jack off directly into the vortex.
Title: Re: Basements not the safest place during tornadoes?
Post by: The Fake Shemp on February 25, 2008, 04:59:57 PM: THE TORNADOES ARE EVOLVING!
Title: Re: Basements not the safest place during tornadoes?
Post by: Mupepe on February 25, 2008, 05:06:19 PM: Quote from: CajoleJuice on February 25, 2008, 04:30:40 PM
God is trying to wipe out the South. How ironic.
Fuck you
Title: Re: Basements not the safest place during tornadoes?
Post by: Tauntaun on February 25, 2008, 05:07:07 PM: Quote from: Joe Molotov on February 25, 2008, 04:56:14 PM
I guess I have no choice now but to find an old barn, strap myself to a pole, and jack off directly into the vortex.

Sounds like a job for two, if you catch my drift. :-*
Title: Re: Basements not the safest place during tornadoes?
Post by: xnikki118x on February 26, 2008, 12:43:39 AM: That's pretty fucked up.

I know they always told us to go to a bathroom in the event of an earthquake, because all the plumbing keeps the room more stable than others. If you can't do that, stand braced in a doorway because they're supportive somehow.

I bet the best spot ever would be in a doorway in a bathroom in a basement, right? lol
Title: Re: Basements not the safest place during tornadoes?
Post by: brawndolicious on February 26, 2008, 01:08:27 AM: Quote from: ParticleReality on February 26, 2008, 01:06:19 AM
I always assumed the basement was a stupid place anyway. If theres only one way in and the house crumbles on you and on your only exit you're fucked.
If the house breaks apart, wouldn't the pieces get blown away or something?
Title: Re: Basements not the safest place during tornadoes?
Post by: T234 on February 26, 2008, 01:10:56 AM: :lol :lol :lol
Title: Re: Basements not the safest place during tornadoes?
Post by: Eric P on February 26, 2008, 09:36:12 AM: Quote from: ParticleReality on February 26, 2008, 01:23:11 AM
Quote from: am nintenho on February 26, 2008, 01:08:27 AM
If the house breaks apart, wouldn't the pieces get blown away or something?

That's possible but you know what else is possible? Terrorists taking control of Tornadoes and fucking your shit up.

that sounds like that michael crichton novel where global warming scientists controlled the weather to get more funding or something.
Title: Re: Basements not the safest place during tornadoes?
Post by: Tauntaun on February 26, 2008, 11:19:23 AM: Quote from: Eric P on February 26, 2008, 09:36:12 AM
Quote from: ParticleReality on February 26, 2008, 01:23:11 AM
Quote from: am nintenho on February 26, 2008, 01:08:27 AM
If the house breaks apart, wouldn't the pieces get blown away or something?

That's possible but you know what else is possible? Terrorists taking control of Tornadoes and fucking your shit up.

that sounds like that michael crichton novel where global warming scientists controlled the weather to get more funding or something.

And then raped some babies! :rock
Title: Re: Basements not the safest place during tornadoes?
Post by: CajoleJuice on February 26, 2008, 07:51:33 PM: So everyone was in on this joke, right?