omg omg i just finished 2 missions of condemned 2
simply put, mind blowing :o
buy it ppl, it's so fuckin' hot :o
spoiler (click to show/hide)
I almost turned off my 360 when i saw that dead body from above in the hotel mission :o
:bow Condemned 2 :bow2
wow :o
spoiler (click to show/hide)
I just finished the museum mission, and was investigating a dead body related to a women named rachel mars or something ..
and guess who was the suspect? SKX! :o I'm shocked
spoiler (click to show/hide)
as a citizen, you've probably seen the female mayor on television a zillion times
the mayor gets beheaded
the only head you find in the game is a woman's head
you still have to examine the evidence to determine who the head belongs to
I also like how
spoiler (click to show/hide)
You're betrayed by the Chief of Police and some jackass officer three or four times in the game - yet you still carry on conversations with them, accept rides from them, even rescue the Police Chief who promptly betrays you again
the story in this game is laughable shit, much worse than the first game
even for a video game plot it's bad
but i'm so close to the end i'm forcing myself to finish to see how much sillier it can get
spoiler (click to show/hide)
goddamned giant metal junkie on the junk barge traps you in a corner and you can't do anything except wait until he beats you to death
i fucking despise this game
now i'm stuck
i'm on a lift, all the way at the top of a complex
there's a door, but i can't open it, and i have scoured the whole (small) area but there appears to be no way to get out of here
might be a game glitch
if so, this is where condemned 2 ends for me, because i simply can't take repeating this whole shitty level
here's the big distinguished mentally-challenged shocker plot twist (which you learn a bit before the end part i'm on), in case anyone wants to save themselves $60:
spoiler (click to show/hide)
it's all a big omg freemason-type conspiracy, where this cult wants to take over the world by creating mutants that yell really loud
this is one of the worst games i have ever played, no lie
no, they're not
it gets worse, believe me
emo hair ethan
jenny craig + plastic surgery rosa
drinking out of discarded liquor bottles to steady your aim
"edgy" killers wearing clown masks
spoiler (click to show/hide)
sequence that's a near-ripoff of a bioshock level
spoiler (click to show/hide)
stupid yawn conspiracy
spoiler (click to show/hide)
wykkyd powers like banshee from the x-men
this isn't a game, it's a hot topic blacklight poster
it ends
spoiler (click to show/hide)
on a quicktime event. i wish this annoying video game trend would fuck off and die already
and
spoiler (click to show/hide)
omg the president is at the top of the conspiracy to be continued in Condemned 3zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
so lame, spoiler (click to show/hide)
governmental conspiracies are as overdone as WWII-themed FPS
GOOD:
- fighting system is better, for the most part - see BAD section
- weapons selection is more expansive
- some of the creatures are creative (the "tar baby" monsters)
- voice acting isn't bad
- crime scene investigation is better than the first game
- environmental kills are fun...the first few times you use them
- the sound effects and ambient noise are outstanding, and make great use of 5.1
BAD:
- complete waste of a storyline. it's distinguished mentally-challenged bad. i much prefer the nonsensical ending of the first game to the lame x-files horseshit explanations provided here
- emo hair ethan, who has apparently bleached his skin and shops for his slogan t-shirts at family dollar
- rosa has been taking trimspa and getting botox injections. these characters looked like real people in the first game. now they look like they were designed by committee
- too reliant on the new fighting system, annoying constant on-screen indicators for button combinations, turning the entire game into one long quicktime event. gets boring and annoying about three levels in. after that it's like a bad rhythm game set to polka music and programmed by the deaf
- guns. too many of them, you have to keep drinking to steady your aim, and the aiming is shit to begin with. i noticed they made all the bottles you drink out of look like Jägermeister bottles (giant eyeroll)
- if you're going to require a player to run in your game, how about easing up on all the goddamned nooks and crannies they can get stuck in. also, a fucking ankle-high cardboard box should never impede a player's path. like, ever.
- the overall look of the game is either geared towards fourteen-year-old juggalos or carnival workers. also, be sure to thank the bioshock devs in your acceptance speech if you accidentally win any awards for this piece, monolith.
- it's too dark. i guess everyone liked not being able to see shit in the first one, so they decided to make this one blacker than black. i had to jack up the brightness to sun-level, and i still couldn't see a damned thing sometimes. there's a difference between moody darkness and "hey, did my tv just turn off?" plus, you add the blurry winovision to the mix, and it's just a visual mess.
- some of the investigations you have to conduct are so obvious brain-damaged cats could solve them. and some of them are just pointless, like the one i mentioned earlier. it's as if they thought "hey, we got this bitchin' new crime scene kit minigame, let's use it all the fucking time for no reason!
- there's one "boss" which everyone seems to think is awesome from the message board posts and reviews i've read, but i thought it was just ridiculous. most of the bosses are either derivative of other (better) games, or just flat-out stupid. or both.
- the "ending" makes this whole game nothing more than a setup for Condemned 3. fuck you, sega and monolith. there's no more milk left in these titties.
i realize i am in the minority here. the game has been getting decent reviews, and the usual message board suspects are heaping praise on it, so i'm guessing everything i hate about it will be amped up to the nth degree in the next installment. but it's a bad game. i'm gonna sell the hell out of it, keep condemned (1), and forget this one was ever made. i'll just make up my own explanations for what happened in the first game. they can't be any stupider than the plot of condemned 2.
this bear part is distinguished mentally-challenged.
Wait, do you actually fight a bear?
spoiler (click to show/hide)
sort of. you run from it, and Chief Brody it at the end of the level.