THE BORE

General => The Superdeep Borehole => Topic started by: Phoenix Dark on April 02, 2008, 11:52:15 PM

Title: Why can't small children be arrested for their crimes
Post by: Phoenix Dark on April 02, 2008, 11:52:15 PM
wtf

Ok, I'm "babysitting" my cousin because my aunt and uncle went to a business meeting in Florida. Since my parents are at work and my brothers are in various other places, I'm home alone with this thing, which just turned three.

My plan was simple: feed it, entertain it, put it to bed. I first started earlier today by buying him his favorite food ("RE RE I WANT MAC N CHEEGGGSSE") and renting his favorite movie (Pinocchio). He ate his food without complaint, and even ate the carrots I made for him. He played with his toys for a few hours, then wanted to watch his movie. I put it on for him. Everything was going swell.

Then around 6PM I I see him under a chair in the living room. I look under and what do you know, he's hiding something - he spilled grape juice all over a magazine and decided to remedy it by hiding the evidence; in the process he got grape juice all on the carpet.

Me: what are you doing? is that juice?
Drew: I sorry Re Re. I sorry. I swipped
Me: you slipped?
Drew: I swipped and then and then and then, I'm sorry
Me: Fine, ok. No more juice ok, only water ok? Are you tired?
Drew: no...
Me: Why don't you play your DS in the bed
Drew: OK

Flash forward to a few minutes ago. I had put him to bed; he was sleeping while I did some homework. Then I came downstairs to waste time on the computer. I heard him walking around upstairs but figured he was just looking for his toys. Eventually I headed upstairs and smelled bananas...so I look in the fruit basket and notice all 5 bananas are gone. I look in the trash and there are five half peeled bananas in there, each with one little bite mark. The fucking bananas were STILL GREEN omg.

Me: Drew did you bite the bananas?
Drew: they was broken
Me: what?
Drew: they was broken *cries*
Me: they weren't ripe, you shouldn't eat them when they're green...

 :maf :-\ :'(
Title: Re: Why can't small children be arrested for their crimes
Post by: Madrun Badrun on April 02, 2008, 11:54:41 PM
Well clearly you should have been guarding your bananas instead of playing with your banana at the pc!
Title: Re: Why can't small children be arrested for their crimes
Post by: Robo on April 02, 2008, 11:57:51 PM
He calls you "re-re"?  Does he know how appropriate that is!?
Title: Re: Why can't small children be arrested for their crimes
Post by: Phoenix Dark on April 02, 2008, 11:58:56 PM
All my little cousins call me that - my name is Maurice, hence "Re Re"  :-\
Title: Re: Why can't small children be arrested for their crimes
Post by: Robo on April 02, 2008, 11:59:26 PM
 :rofl
Title: Re: Why can't small children be arrested for their crimes
Post by: Madrun Badrun on April 03, 2008, 12:05:57 AM
You should have entertained him with your bag of boob cutouts. 
Title: Re: Why can't small children be arrested for their crimes
Post by: Van Cruncheon on April 03, 2008, 12:16:24 AM
yeah, i read superhero comics with my daughter with the crotch bulges cut out
Title: Re: Why can't small children be arrested for their crimes
Post by: xnikki118x on April 03, 2008, 01:44:17 AM
Aw I think Re Re is a cute nickname!
Title: Re: Why can't small children be arrested for their crimes
Post by: cloudwalking on April 03, 2008, 04:24:46 AM
yeah sometimes kids pull the wackiest shit. i was babysitting 2 kids yesterday who i babysit pretty regularly. both girls, 2 and 5. after we finished eating lunch i put a movie on for them as a distraction so i could clean the kitchen. when i'm finished and i come back into the living room, the 5 year old is putting orange juice from the 2 year old's bottle INTO HER HAIR.

me: no! no no no... cristina, that has sugar in it! that is really bad!
cristina: *blinks, drops bottle on the floor*
me: ok. no more juice. only water.

cristina had put some in her hair too, so then she says:
cristina: i need a hair dryer!
me: no. please go wash your hair in the bathroom. with some water... and valentina, let's wash your hair too?
vale: uh-uh. mama.
me: only mama? please come with me.
vale: UH-UH, MAMA.

:-\
Title: Re: Why can't small children be arrested for their crimes
Post by: Mandark on April 03, 2008, 04:27:45 AM
Have we discussed this here yet? (http://www.local6.com/news/15757528/detail.html)
Title: Re: Why can't small children be arrested for their crimes
Post by: cloudwalking on April 03, 2008, 04:39:28 AM
no, she only wanted her mom to wash her hair. she doesn't like me to do any of the stuff like changing her diaper, washing her face, dressing her, etc. her mom has to do all that stuff before she leaves. she only wants to eat and play when i'm around.
Title: Re: Why can't small children be arrested for their crimes
Post by: TVC15 on April 03, 2008, 04:42:50 AM
You could change my diaper, cloud.
Title: Re: Why can't small children be arrested for their crimes
Post by: Powerslave on April 03, 2008, 06:58:54 AM
You could change my diaper, cloud.

:rofl
Title: Re: Why can't small children be arrested for their crimes
Post by: Tauntaun on April 03, 2008, 11:13:05 AM
Have we discussed this here yet? (http://www.local6.com/news/15757528/detail.html)

SMH.  Damn dude, for a time out? :wtf
Title: Re: Why can't small children be arrested for their crimes
Post by: Eric P on April 03, 2008, 11:15:20 AM
(http://www.twitchfilm.net/pics/wckac_usdvd.jpg)

that movie rules
Title: Re: Why can't small children be arrested for their crimes
Post by: y2kev on April 03, 2008, 12:50:22 PM
Is that Ray-Ray or Ree-Ree?

either way lol
Title: Re: Why can't small children be arrested for their crimes
Post by: Barry Egan on April 03, 2008, 01:24:23 PM
maybe you should be more attentive when you're babysitting  :omg
Title: Re: Why can't small children be arrested for their crimes
Post by: Phoenix Dark on April 03, 2008, 04:45:19 PM
Second day has gone much smoother, although he called me like 10 times while I was in class. After I got out I taught him how to sweep the floor and fold clothes, then we went outside and bagged the leaves.

After that he wanted to watch Harry Potter, and kept asking me if Harry and Hermonie were brothers. Eventually I had to read a few chapters of the first book to him so he'd believe me.

Now he's sleep. :bow
Title: Re: Why can't small children be arrested for their crimes
Post by: Madrun Badrun on April 03, 2008, 04:49:14 PM
Wow, teaching the kid to sweep floors and bag leafs.  I bet he's going to look forward to seeing you next holiday. 
Title: Re: Why can't small children be arrested for their crimes
Post by: Phoenix Dark on April 03, 2008, 04:52:30 PM
Drew: Harry and Monie are brother and sister
Me: no, no they're no...
Drew: but but, Monie's hair looks like Harry's
Me: My hair looks like yours. Am I your brother?
Drew: YES
Me: No, I'm not
Drew: oh...
Title: Re: Why can't small children be arrested for their crimes
Post by: Madrun Badrun on April 03, 2008, 04:54:08 PM
Maybe he meant brother as in bro.  Did he try and fist bop you while saying that?
Title: Re: Why can't small children be arrested for their crimes
Post by: Phoenix Dark on April 03, 2008, 05:50:24 PM
What  :lol
Title: Re: Why can't small children be arrested for their crimes
Post by: Beezy on April 03, 2008, 06:01:59 PM
Drew: Harry and Monie are brother and sister
Me: no, no they're no...
Drew: but but, Monie's hair looks like Harry's
Me: My hair looks like yours. Am I your brother?
Drew: YES
Me: No, I'm not
Drew: oh...
owned :lol
Title: Re: Why can't small children be arrested for their crimes
Post by: Robo on April 03, 2008, 06:06:06 PM
re re
Title: Re: Why can't small children be arrested for their crimes
Post by: Bloodwake on April 03, 2008, 06:58:17 PM
As soon as I saw RE RE I pissed my pants laughing.

This thread is full of hilarity.

Time for a smoke.

 :lol