THE BORE
General => The Superdeep Borehole => Topic started by: Van Cruncheon on May 17, 2008, 02:44:55 PM
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reflecting upon this, i really must choose spanglish. not only was it a predictable, trite romcom of the most formulaic type, it was almost offensive in its pandering. adam sandler and tea leoni -- the latter in particular -- turn in two of the the worst performances i've seen in a big budget movie. this movie honestly made me mad, and its existence depressed me for a good day.
at least the two star wars prequels of this decade were worth laughing at in their ineptitude. i fully expect indiana jones and the crystal skull to join this tragic list.
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Soul Plane
I avoided the movie for years, then last year I was invited to a "movie night" event at a friend's house. I was the only black person there, and shortly after I arrived the host announced the choices: White Chicks, Elf, Last Samurai, and Soul Plane. Horrible choices all around but at least Last Samurai is somewhat entertaining. IIRC the vote was basically split between White Chicks and Soul Plane, and re-vote crowned Soul Plane as the winner.
Fuck horrible
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Across the Universe.
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It's either Showtime or Beowulf for me.
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It's either Showtime or Beowulf for me.
SMH SMH SMH
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Garden State
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You know, I really don't tend to watch shitty movies. So while I wish I could say something like Transformers or Speed Racer, I just won't see crap like that.
Garden State is certainly a good choice. Spider hyphen Man 3 is another.
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Spiderman 3 and X-Men 3. The curse of three lives for the super hero flicks.
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Spiderman 3 and X-Men 3. The curse of three lives for the super hero flicks.
Ooh, X-Men 3 is another worthy choice. Pure craptacular stuff right there.
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Little Miss Sunshine.
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none of the movies in this thread (with the possible exception of SPEED RACER) are worse than Soul Plane!
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none of the movies in this thread (with the possible exception of SPEED RACER) are worse than Soul Plane!
snakes on a plane?
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Spider Man 3
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Freddy Got Fingered. No doubt about it.
The Clone Wars is pretty unwatchable too though.
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editz
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I forgot about the Star Wars abortions.
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Keep in mind I watch like direct-to-DVD horror on a regular basis. With that said, limiting myself to movies I have actually seen this decade, Transformers stands out in my mind as being the biggest waste of time.
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the da vinci code, any of the star wars prequels, the number 23, pathfinder, or xmen 3
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i agree with the da vinci code--during the entire movie, hanks (:bow2 :heartbeat) looked like he had to take a shit smh. and his hairstyle was hideous. and the source material being eehhh didn't help either--i liked the book up until they met teabing.
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Mulholland Drive
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Mulholland Drive
smh
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i forgot about the number 23 :lol
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Thats almost a decade worth of movies - too hard to cast all my hate onto just one. There are so many worthy of such a title.
Off the top of my head, Im going with King Kong though.
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the da vinci code
I haven't seen it, but I always thought that The Da Vinci Code sounded like it was almost in so bad it's good territory? I nabbed the book in an airport once (good places for guilty pleasure, spur of the moment purchase reading) and it was so terrible that I could understand why common people liked it so much. Each chapter was like 2 pages long, yet still overstuffed with exposition. It was like written for a sixth grade reading level.
Oh, also, I am ignoring movies that are terrible, but still entertaining. Like The Wicker Man.
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the first half was entertaining enough
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the da vinci code
I haven't seen it, but I always thought that The Da Vinci Code sounded like it was almost in so bad it's good territory? I nabbed the book in an airport once (good places for guilty pleasure, spur of the moment purchase reading) and it was so terrible that I could understand why common people liked it so much. Each chapter was like 2 pages long, yet still overstuffed with exposition. It was like written for a sixth grade reading level.
Oh, also, I am ignoring movies that are terrible, but still entertaining. Like The Wicker Man.
i left out the so bad they're good movies too. the da vinci code does not qualify. it's not even like LOL bad, it's just boring bad. book was entertaining in so bad it's good way though
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Inland Empire. Leave that handycam crap to the film students, Lynch.
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yeah, so-bad-they're-good movies don't count, like the AWESOME freddy got fingered and everything done by uwe boll.
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oh and add mr and mrs smith to my list please
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forgot about garden state. i still think spanglish is worse, although at this point it's a completely academic distinction
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... bracing myself for impact
No Country for Old Men. 2 hours of boredom strung loosely together.
SMH
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... bracing myself for impact
No Country for Old Men. 2 hours of boredom strung loosely together.
oh dude what the fuck
what the fuck dude
dude
oh my
what the fuck man
fuck. god. what the fuck man?
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There's several contestants vying for the position, but nothing made me as physically ill as the animated abomination known as Robots. It's the perfect example of children's animation gone horribly wrong, to the point where it seems like the creators actually TRIED to hit every pothole along the way.
Let's break it down:
-Bodily humor [which makes absolutely no sense considering that they're robots]
-Pop culture references
-Lots of celebrities, the more the better!
-Lots of recognizable songs
-Positive message that get beat into your brain every few minutes
-Painfully boring
I honestly don't know why I sat through the whole thing.
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No Country for Old Men. 2 hours of boredom strung loosely together.
Inland Empire is 3 1/2 hours of boredom strung loosely together. And shot on DV to enhance the crappiness of the experience.
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There's several contestants vying for the position, but nothing made me as physically ill as the animated abomination known as Robots. It's the perfect example of children's animation gone horribly wrong, to the point where it seems like the creators actually TRIED to hit every pothole along the way.
Let's break it down:
-Bodily humor [which makes absolutely no sense considering that they're robots]
-Pop culture references
-Lots of celebrities, the more the better!
-Lots of recognizable songs
-Positive message that get beat into your brain every few minutes
-Painfully boring
I honestly don't know why I sat through the whole thing.
Nice choice.
May I add Shrek 2 and Shrek 3 to the list as well?
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i'd probably lick javier bardem's butt
did ayone hear that there's supposedly a penelope cruze/bardem sextape? iirc, they filmed their session(s) and then lost their camera's while they were on vacation.
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Master and Commander. BORING DUMB
FUCK YOU
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There's several contestants vying for the position, but nothing made me as physically ill as the animated abomination known as Robots. It's the perfect example of children's animation gone horribly wrong, to the point where it seems like the creators actually TRIED to hit every pothole along the way.
Let's break it down:
-Bodily humor [which makes absolutely no sense considering that they're robots]
-Pop culture references
-Lots of celebrities, the more the better!
-Lots of recognizable songs
-Positive message that get beat into your brain every few minutes
-Painfully boring
I honestly don't know why I sat through the whole thing.
Nice choice.
May I add Shrek 2 and Shrek 3 to the list as well?
I thought 2 was decent, suffered from sequelitis though. Haven't seen 3 and probably won't.
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Watching Lost on HULU has brought me a new candidate without even seeing it yet - Made of Honor. WTF
since when is lost on hulu ???
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Watching Lost on HULU has brought me a new candidate without even seeing it yet - Made of Honor. WTF
since when is lost on hulu ???
It actually links to ABC.com, but all the episodes are accessible through hulu...
AND IN HD
:bow
WTFOMGBBQ :o
also guys, have you seen Enough? If feminists piss you off this movie will piss you off
edit: http://dynamic.abc.go.com/streaming/landing
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Probably Vanilla Sky.
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I've maybe watched about 12 movies between 2000-2008
My vote goes for WAR
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Probably Vanilla Sky.
....
:'(
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Day After Tomorrow
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Did Little Nicky come out after 2000?
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Vanilla Sky is horrible. I watch tons of trashy pop stuff and straight-to-home video, and Vanilla Sky fails on every conceivable level - and then has the audacity to act like it means anything. The only meaning I took away from that awful remake was that Blockbuster stole my money.
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You're a terrible person.
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CGI Wolves on Ice
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I've maybe watched about 12 movies between 2000-2008
My vote goes for WAR
watch CRANK (also with jason statham)
he to keep his adrenaline level or else he dies
seriously amazing
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oh and add mr and mrs smith to my list please
Oh shit, I had forgotten about this one. I felt so insulted after sitting through that stupid, thoughtless shit. You know, that is worse than Transformers. Transformers is number 2 now.
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The Matrix Revolutions. Such wasted potential. :'(
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I've maybe watched about 12 movies between 2000-2008
My vote goes for WAR
watch CRANK (also with jason statham)
he to keep his adrenaline level or else he dies
seriously amazing
I've seen it, it was awesome, which is why I figured WAR would be cool... it even had Jet Li... but it's just the worst movie I've ever seen
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I've maybe watched about 12 movies between 2000-2008
My vote goes for WAR
watch CRANK (also with jason statham)
he to keep his adrenaline level or else he dies
seriously amazing
I've seen it, it was awesome, which is why I figured WAR would be cool... it even had Jet Li... but it's just the worst movie I've ever seen
i really feel that the best american jet li film has been the forbidden kingdom
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Oh god, CRASH, Crash, a thousand fucking times Crash. Such a stupid preachy condescending peace of shit movie. One of the things I look forward to with the forthcoming regime change in the White House is that Hollywood may be kind enough to spare us bullshit like this film ands Buttsex Mountain. :gun
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no movie fucked me off as much as Babel
most overrated piece of shit ever
naked deaf japanese girl did give me a hard on but film was so bad even that couldnt save it
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Babel is a good movie.
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maybe I didnt 'get' it, but it seemed to me like the film was telling me I was supposed to like it because of the BS art soundtrack etc.
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crash is overrated as fuck and preachy and cheesy, but i still like it.
babel bored me. it wasn't as preachy as crash, but just more boring.
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Babel was booooooring.
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Million Dollar Baby if this is the turn we're taking.
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Babel was very interesting to me. All the stories were interesting and tied together well with the theme
but it features the most uncomfortable nudity i've EVER seen
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Babel was very interesting to me. All the stories were interesting and tied together well with the theme
but it features the most uncomfortable nudity i've EVER seen
i'm sure tvc can fix that in a jiffy
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... bracing myself for impact
No Country for Old Men. 2 hours of boredom strung loosely together.
What.
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Babel was very interesting to me. All the stories were interesting and tied together well with the theme
but it features the most uncomfortable nudity i've EVER seen
i'm sure tvc can fix that in a jiffy
I dunno man, it's gonna be hard to beat that. That was so bad I cringed and stood up to make sure I wasn't sitting on a vagina :-\
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Elizabethtown.
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I was prepping my American Beauty rant but imdb tells me it was released in 1999.
Now I feel old and I need a new pick.
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Balls of Fury was terrible movie. I don't know why I watched it.
I do however know why I watched DOA: Dead or Alive, because I thought it would be so bad it'd be good, but it wasn't.
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anchorman was pretty terrible, too
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anything by will ferrel is qualified to be in the discussion
*still proud i've only seen 1 ferrel movie*
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I gather none of you have had the misfortune to damage your retinas with Pluto Nash or Norbit.
I've endured both.
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anything by will ferrel is qualified to be in the discussion
*still proud i've only seen 1 ferrel movie*
But Stranger Than Fiction is pretty good. Or did you conveniently forget that.
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Yeah Stranger Than Fiction was enjoyable. Probably even better with a decent lead
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I got plenty as one movie is too few. In chronological order:
Austin Powers: Goldmember - I thought the first two were awesome. Granted, I was 12 and 14 at the time so it was only natural that I would see the 3rd one. It is like Mike Myers whored himself out to every large business possible. It is an accurate zeitgeist of the times: lots of promotion, a lot of guest actors for potential cross over viewership, latest gorgeous mocha (not too dark) pop singer, and a threadbare plot. A lot of people unfairly blamed Beyonce for this joke of a film but there wasn't anything done right with it.
Garden State - I've already elucidated my hated for this film several times. What pisses me off most about Zach Braff is that there are plenty of poor children in third world nations that starve and Zach Braff keeps eating. That is proof there is no God. He is an oxygen thief and little more. You will find out in Garden State.
Anchorman - Will Ferrell is a one trick pony and this trick got old by the time this movie came out. The film wasn't funny because it relied on the same jokes that have been a Ferrell staple for a decade prior. Every Ferrell movie since this has sucked ass because he refuses to deviate from his standard formula. Stranger than Fiction also sucked and shows that while he can stop playing his act, he doesn't know how to act.
Knocked Up - I liked the 40 Year Old Virgin. Now that there are 15-20 Judd Apatow and his lackey movies coming out on an annual basis, the appeal of it being a new Apatow film with old members of F&G and Undeclared starring in the films doesn't have the appeal like it did a year ago. Enter Knocked Up. Seth Rogen plays the typical blundering nerd who can't seem to do anything right who happens to knock up the angelic Katherine Heigl. The rest is nothing but forced jokes. The whole terrorist joke angle fell flat every time. There were little jokes to be had in general. No Heigl nude scenes either. Nothing redeemable about the film. Fortunately Superbad was around the corner.
Stop/Loss - A girl friend of mine dragged me along to see it. She paid for my ticket so I thought "no big loss if it sucked." Stop/Loss sucked. The premise of the movie is that the latest male hollywood eye candy finds themselves trapped in the agonizing loophole in the US military, known as Stop/Loss. Instead of coming up with a compelling story, they just waste it with the typical shit you'd expect from a MTV movie. Which means a lot of romantic scenes where young couples grieve over being separated. Not to poke fun at this situation but it was done so terribly, it went right into "cheese" territory. My friend got mad at me when I smiled at something corny Channing Tatum or Ryan Phillipe or whoever the fuck said their emotional lines. Plenty of scenes where the eye candy is without a shirt, appealing to the very few (the movie flopped) girls who mostly went into the movies to see them walk around without a shirt on.
Runners Up:
Cast Away
Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within
Crash
X-Men 3
Live Free or Die Hard
Juno
I never saw the Matrix or Star Wars prequel trilogies.
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Sin City, The Matrix Reloaded, Kill Bill (Vol. 1 and 2), Die Hard 4.0, Pirates of the Caribbean 3, Star Wars Episode 3 Revenge of the Sith, The Terminal, Catch Me If You Can, War of the Worlds, Transformers...fuck, so many shitty movies.
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The Matrix Revolutions
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I'm sure that one was awful but I've never seen it other than bits and pieces when it played on HBO. Reloaded was bad enough that I gave up on the whole Matrix thing. Sad thing is my favorite piece of Matrix thingamabobbery is The Animatrix stuff, especially the cartoon about the history of the machine war.
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I'm sure that one was awful but I've never seen it other than bits and pieces when it played on HBO. Reloaded was bad enough that I gave up on the whole Matrix thing. Sad thing is my favorite piece of Matrix thingamabobbery is The Animatrix stuff, especially the cartoon about the history of the machine war.
I didn't hate reloaded, but at the same time it was enough of a warning shot that I knew I should probably skip the third movie.
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How can anyone say Catch Me If You Can is one of the worst movies of 2000-08?!? Explain this Ichi
I've only seen bits and pieces of Reloaded on TV. It was way too over the top to me, with so many average action scenes stretched over 10+ minutes; that being said it's definitely not bad enough to be on this thread's list imo, it was ok. Never seen the third and I'm in no hurry
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I enjoyed Reloaded when I first saw it. The CG was just a bit of a letdown.
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I think people trash Reloaded because of the expectations set for it due to the original. It was hella disappointing but it's not fuck horrible.
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Waking Life. It was pretty, but so was A Scanner Darkly, and that movie didn't make me sit through sub-college freshmen-level "whoa, maaaan" philosophizing.
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Waking Life. It was pretty, but so was A Scanner Darkly, and that movie didn't make me sit through sub-college freshmen-level "whoa, maaaan" philosophizing.
Certain parts of Waking Life were extremely stupid, but the theories regarding dreams specifically were very impressive.
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van helsing, without a doubt
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Does anybody realize how many goddamn users are on right now? Is 29 some sort of record for EvilBore? It is to me.
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Any of the Pirates of the Caribbean sequels. Blegh.
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Die Hard 4. I don't see many movies though.
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and you wonder why chicks don't give a fuck about you
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none of the movies in this thread (with the possible exception of SPEED RACER) are worse than Soul Plane!
snakes on a plane?
YOU SHUT YOUR MOTHERFUCKING WHORE MOUTH, BITCH. :maf
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Reloaded had the awesome freeway chase and I'm always a sucker for that kind of thing, so it gets points for that. On the whole, though, not as good as the first and Revolutions was just...not good.
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I enjoyed the parts of Reloaded that actually took place in the Matrix, while I enjoyed nothing about Revolutions.
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Spiderman 3 and X-Men 3. The curse of three lives for the super hero flicks.
Those are both gold compared to the Hulk. What a fucking snorefest that was.
Also Van Helsing sucked major, major balls. Not sure which is worse.
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Nims Island.
Don't ask.
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Van Helsing
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Resident Evil: Extinction. I've never fast forwarded a movie before.
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Ghost Ship. It was downright offensive.
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Ghost Ship. It was downright offensive.
:lol yes
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ghost ship had an awesome opening 10 minutes, though!
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Van Helsing would go on my list, but I couldn't sit through more than a little bit of it. I think it was definitely less than a half hour.
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Ghost Ship. It was downright offensive.
I watched that on HBO one night when I was on vacation. So bad.
Especially after the episode of Mythbusters where they tried to cut the pig in half with the recoil from a snapped cable.
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Ghost Ship. It was downright offensive.
I watched that on HBO one night when I was on vacation. So bad.
Especially after the episode of Mythbusters where they tried to cut the big in half with the recoil from a snapped cable.
Ah, but shortly after the mythbusters "busted" that myth, a girl got her feet cut clean off at an amusement park, courtesy of a steel wire. So that scene wasn't that bad. Certainly not as bad as the notion that it's totally alright to, you know, float around in the Bering Sea.
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Crash is the worst movie ever made. It's not just a horrible film, it's a horrible film that a lot of people thought was great.
You are a distinguished mentally-challenged fellow if you think there is anything good about it.
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Can't really pick a singular bad movie since there's been so many, but just about every big summer movie for the past two years have been a letdown.
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I was forced to watch Epic Movie with a group of friends. Even my semi-distinguished mentally-challenged tasteless friends could tell it was shitty.
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The only reason I would ever watch that movie is to see Crispin Glover as Willy Wonka.
oh wait... I just thought of something.
*clickity click typity type click*
[youtube=425,350]ptw7EErWigk&hl=en[/youtube]
There, now I don't even have to filth my hands up by touching that box.
*watches clip*
oh Bartleby... :(
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Fuck Crispin Glover. Man is cool but jesus why
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I was forced to watch Epic Movie with a group of friends. Even my semi-distinguished mentally-challenged tasteless friends could tell it was shitty.
I've never seen a **** Movie because they're clearly garbage, but judging by the reviews, they somehow continue to get worse and worse, but yet people continue to see them. It's like they keep going back to barrel and scraping up a little bit more, and people just gobble it up. Why??? :( Date Movie in 2006, then Epic Movie in 2007, Meet the Spartans in 2008, and now we've got Disaster Movie lined up for 2009. They'll probably all make more than Speed Racer.
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Matrix 3 would be my pick. I have Matrix 1 (awesome) and Matrix 2 (meh) on DVD and in spite of being totally anal about these things I refuse to pay the money to complete the set.
Resident Evil was really disappointing. I haven't bothered with the other films because of it.
Transformers was a letdown too. I got over the redesigns but it was still pretty rubbish. Not enough screen time for big-ass robots. If they would have jettisoned the first 45 minutes it would have been much improved.
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Vanilla Sky, Spider-man 2 and 3 (closely followed by the original), Transformers and both Final Fantasy movies (except for the ring tone joke in Advent Children, that was pretty great) are all contenders, but it's hard to get definitive.
Pirates of the Caribbean 2 and 3 were probably the most disappointing.
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Resident Evil was really disappointing. I haven't bothered with the other films because of it.
I was all ready to hate this one, but actually thought it was pretty good as far as videogame-based actions movies go (which is a backhanded compliment if there ever was one, but still). Thought the sequel was atrocious though and haven't bothered with the third one.
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Enl reminded me of what a snorefest Tim Burton's Willy Wonka was. That would be my pick. What a load of garbage. It should be prescribed as sleeping medicine.
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Man, I have you all beat. Beat by a mile.
Tomcats.
Tom-fucking-cats.
I've watched episodes of MST3K where I would much, Much, MUCH rather watch the original film without the commentary than watch Tomcats again. Never before in my entire life have I ever seen a "comedy" where people did not laugh once throughout the entire film in the theaters. NOT ONCE.
My friends and I went out to see it because they had come down for the weekend, and they loved Shasta McNasty and Sliders, so a movie with Jake Busey and Jerry O'Connell has to have some laughs, right? RIGHT? Wrong.
If you want to feel the pain, rent Tomcats. If you have not seen it, consider never seeing it, because once you have, you can't ever go back.
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Resident Evil was really disappointing. I haven't bothered with the other films because of it.
I was all ready to hate this one, but actually thought it was pretty good as far as videogame-based actions movies go (which is a backhanded compliment if there ever was one, but still). Thought the sequel was atrocious though and haven't bothered with the third one.
I tried watching the second RE movie, but it became impossible after our heroine busted through the church window, in slow motion, on a motorcycle.
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Resident Evil is pure awesome
2 and 3 are pure suck
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Seeing as Van Helsing has already been said, I'll go ahead and nominate Grandma's Boy. I think I'd rewatch all the films in this thread combined before I'd try to sit through that one again.
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Vanilla Sky, Spider-man 2 and 3 (closely followed by the original), Transformers and both Final Fantasy movies (except for the ring tone joke in Advent Children, that was pretty great) are all contenders, but it's hard to get definitive.
Pirates of the Caribbean 2 and 3 were probably the most disappointing.
You can suck my nuts son, Advent Children hit my fanboy-bone so hard I almost died from awesome! :punch
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2003 - The Texas Chainsaw Massacre
This is where my Micahel Bay hate began.
What does Michael Bay have to do with that movie?
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i was reminded of these two:
underworld movies
get carter
2003 - The Texas Chainsaw Massacre
This is where my Micahel Bay hate began.
What does Michael Bay have to do with that movie?
he was producing.
jessica biel :drool
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TRANSFORMERS
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How can anyone say Catch Me If You Can is one of the worst movies of 2000-08?!? Explain this Ichi
Because it was a treacly piece of shit, dude, with all the Spielberg motifs being heaped upon an unsuspecting audience (he really went overboard on the whole 'father issues' thing with this one).
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i hated amy adams' character, but that was about it; i loved it. i think it's one of spielberg's better mainstream (i no rite) movies.
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Resident Evil was really disappointing. I haven't bothered with the other films because of it.
I was all ready to hate this one, but actually thought it was pretty good as far as videogame-based actions movies go (which is a backhanded compliment if there ever was one, but still). Thought the sequel was atrocious though and haven't bothered with the third one.
I tried watching the second RE movie, but it became impossible after our heroine busted through the church window, in slow motion, on a motorcycle.
:yuck Sounds like I'll pass on 2 and 3.
I think I went in with the wrong expectations for RE. For some reason I thought they'd stick pretty close to the games and I was looking forward to unusual camera angles, awesome locations, a tense atmosphere etc. As far as I remember, it was a pretty straight-forward action flick.
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Ironically, the closest any of the films got to the games, IMO, is in the second film, when Jill is exploring some underground area. The lighting, color palette and camera angles were actually very reminiscent of certain areas in the games.
That is exactly what I was hoping the RE film would be loaded with. But I take it that particular bit is one of the few good things about the second film? :(