THE BORE

General => The Superdeep Borehole => Topic started by: The Fake Shemp on August 04, 2006, 06:13:34 PM

Title: Who would win in a fight -- Jesus or Conan the Barbarian?
Post by: The Fake Shemp on August 04, 2006, 06:13:34 PM
(http://imagecache2.allposters.com/images/pic/adc/10102058A~Arnold-Schwarzenegger-Conan-the-Barbarian-Posters.jpg) vs. (http://www.infidels.org/library/modern/james_still/jesus.jpg)

Who would in a fight to the battle to the death?  And before you give me all this Jesus is spiritual nonsense, let me remind you that Conan was crucified and resurrected, and carries a big fucking sword.  He has fought wizards and snake cults and other assorted fantastical shit.  His best friend is a fucking wizard.  Jesus' best friend BETRAYED him.  Do the math.
Title: Re: Who would win in a fight -- Jesus or Conan the Barbarian?
Post by: MrAngryFace on August 04, 2006, 06:15:39 PM
That pic isnt very flattering.

(http://www.indarktrees.com/MAFStuff/Random/jesuspissed.jpg)
Title: Re: Who would win in a fight -- Jesus or Conan the Barbarian?
Post by: Phoenix Dark on August 04, 2006, 06:16:35 PM
Why must you degrade my faith Willco? I thought republicans loved Christians :(





CONAN WINS
Title: Re: Who would win in a fight -- Jesus or Conan the Barbarian?
Post by: MrAngryFace on August 04, 2006, 06:17:47 PM
(http://www.indarktrees.com/MAFStuff/Random/jesuspower.jpg)
Title: Re: Who would win in a fight -- Jesus or Conan the Barbarian?
Post by: TVC15 on August 04, 2006, 06:18:48 PM
MILIUS wins.
Title: Re: Who would win in a fight -- Jesus or Conan the Barbarian?
Post by: Van Cruncheon on August 04, 2006, 06:21:14 PM
Conan the Cimmerian
Lvl 18 Barbarian Warrior
STR: 18/25
INT: 6
WIS: 9
DEX: 16
CON: 18
CHR: 15

Jesus of Nazareth
Lvl 9 Elven Monk/Sorceror
STR: 10
INT: 15
WIS: 18
DEX: 10
CON: 13 (12 if post-Resurrection)
CHR: 17

Yeah, I'm gonna call this one for Conan.
Title: Re: Who would win in a fight -- Jesus or Conan the Barbarian?
Post by: The Miles Trahan Burger Experiment on August 04, 2006, 06:21:40 PM
Conan is much more hardcore than Jesus. Instead of dying for our sins, Conan would just cut the heads off of any fools who disagree with him.
Title: Re: Who would win in a fight -- Jesus or Conan the Barbarian?
Post by: MrAngryFace on August 04, 2006, 06:21:44 PM
(http://www.indarktrees.com/MAFStuff/Random/jesussaves.gif)
Title: Re: Who would win in a fight -- Jesus or Conan the Barbarian?
Post by: Phoenix Dark on August 04, 2006, 06:22:37 PM
No Jesus is more hardcore. If you don't like him, he'll send you to hell FOREVER
Title: Re: Who would win in a fight -- Jesus or Conan the Barbarian?
Post by: Van Cruncheon on August 04, 2006, 06:23:53 PM
Jesus can cast Resurrect on Self 1/day, but that doesn't compare to a full set of high-level Warrior/Barbarian feats.
Title: Re: Who would win in a fight -- Jesus or Conan the Barbarian?
Post by: The Fake Shemp on August 04, 2006, 06:26:30 PM
Also, did you see the quality amount of ass that Conan tapped during his reign as gladiator/bachleor/barbarian?  Unsurpassed by any mortal.  He was so good in bed that women who died by his side CAME BACK JUST TO BE NEAR HIM.  Jesus did a whore.  I think.  Isn't that what the DaVinci Code says?
Title: Re: Who would win in a fight -- Jesus or Conan the Barbarian?
Post by: The Miles Trahan Burger Experiment on August 04, 2006, 06:26:40 PM
Quote from: Phoenix Dark on August 04, 2006, 06:22:37 PM
No Jesus is more hardcore. If you don't like him, he'll send you to hell FOREVER
Jesus doesn't send people to hell. He just looks away when you're screaming his name as you burn in the fiery pits of Hell.

:P
Title: Re: Who would win in a fight -- Jesus or Conan the Barbarian?
Post by: MrAngryFace on August 04, 2006, 06:28:19 PM
He does too send people to hell.

(http://www.indarktrees.com/MAFStuff/Random/jesussmart.jpg)
Title: Re: Who would win in a fight -- Jesus or Conan the Barbarian?
Post by: The Miles Trahan Burger Experiment on August 04, 2006, 06:29:47 PM
I call bullshit. We need documented proof that he did in fact send "Eric F." to Hell...
Title: Re: Who would win in a fight -- Jesus or Conan the Barbarian?
Post by: MrAngryFace on August 04, 2006, 06:30:19 PM
Just check St Peter's logs, if you cant find Eric there, then yeah, he did.
Title: Re: Who would win in a fight -- Jesus or Conan the Barbarian?
Post by: Vizzys on August 04, 2006, 06:32:23 PM
Super Saiyan Jesus for the win.  :o

(http://www.ninjapirate.com/images/supersaiyanjesus.jpg)
Title: Re: Who would win in a fight -- Jesus or Conan the Barbarian?
Post by: The Miles Trahan Burger Experiment on August 04, 2006, 06:33:16 PM
Quote from: Viz on August 04, 2006, 06:32:23 PM
Super Saiyan Jesus for the win.  :o

(http://www.ninjapirate.com/images/supersaiyanjesus.jpg)
Pfffft, even Goku could hand Jesus his magical ass on a silver platter  :P
Title: Re: Who would win in a fight -- Jesus or Conan the Barbarian?
Post by: The Fake Shemp on August 04, 2006, 06:36:36 PM
Anyone that rips from a shitty anime is going to get their medieval ass handed to them by Conan the mothafucking Barbarian.
Title: Re: Who would win in a fight -- Jesus or Conan the Barbarian?
Post by: MrAngryFace on August 04, 2006, 06:42:20 PM
But Jesus invented the Konami Code!

(http://www.indarktrees.com/MAFStuff/Random/konamicode.png)
Title: Re: Who would win in a fight -- Jesus or Conan the Barbarian?
Post by: The Miles Trahan Burger Experiment on August 04, 2006, 06:43:58 PM
He's also the creator of the "quarter behind the ear" trick. What a champion  ::)
Title: Re: Who would win in a fight -- Jesus or Conan the Barbarian?
Post by: Vizzys on August 04, 2006, 06:44:00 PM
↑ ↑ ↓ ↓ ← → ← → B A

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSs.
Title: Re: Who would win in a fight -- Jesus or Conan the Barbarian?
Post by: etiolate on August 04, 2006, 07:06:50 PM
Jesus would win, because Conan married a Kennedy.