THE BORE
General => Video Game Bored => Topic started by: Van Cruncheon on July 16, 2008, 10:30:49 PM
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...is shit. here at evilbore, we apparently pride ourselves on being gamers of taste and discretion. every day, at videogame magazines and on videogaming forums, crimes against good taste are committed by nostalgia-addled manchildren, agenda-driven system warriors, wanna-be industry insiders, and homojapuals. in order to rectify these wrongs, it is important that we establish a proper canon against which we can further our discussions of this shitty cut-rate hobby.
i would like to propose the first entry in the establishment of this canon: metroid prime is a shitty fucking game. it is boring, it has shit controls, it is kinda ugly, and is a gross failure of fps design.
thoughts? note that only gamers of knowledge and authority can speak to the establishment of this canon. unfortunately for fans of metroid prime, this list of experts does not include you.
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I thought it was one of the best games of that gen.
I think I'm doing it wrong. :(
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I liked this videogame, it was very fun and was entertaining.
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never played it therefore it's shit.
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never played it therefore it's shit.
you are one of the good ones.
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i like fun videogames, i play them for entertainment and was entertained
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i like fun videogames, i play them for entertainment and was entertained
that is 100% bullshit and get out of this thread unless you know videogames
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I have a feeling the phrase "nintards" or similar is about to get thrown about liberally.
How one can love Assassin's Creed yet hate Metroid Prime? I'm so confused. :'(
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Are we talking a specific one, or all of them
Here is my thread on Metroid Prime 3
http://www.evilbore.com/forum/index.php?topic=13808.0
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Fantastic game. And from a rookie western studio, who would have thought!
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the first one. the third was actually somewhat playable. somewhat.
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i like fun videogames, i play them for entertainment and was entertained
that is 100% bullshit and get out of this thread unless you know videogames
i play diablo and tribes and quake and love games like castlevania and shooters and sidescrollers and japafag rpgs
i enjoyed metroid prime it was very fun
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you seem to have missed the part where liking metroid prime automatically makes you unworthy to determine canon
please leave
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'metroid prime is shit' is the axiom upon which any true games criticism is necessarily based :tophat
when we discuss a game, we are implicitly discussing its proximity to metroid prime, which varies inversely with its quality :tophat :tophat
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you seem to have missed the part where liking metroid prime automatically makes you unworthy to determine canon
please leave
your tautology does not faze me
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I liked it and got 100% completion but in fact, once I beat it, I never touched it again.
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Haze > Metroid Prime
Trust me, I know
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Metroid Prime was one of my favorite games from the last generation, along with ICO, Shadow of the Colossus, Half-Life 2 and San Andreas. It has a great mix of action [especially in the boss battles] and explorations, aided by a moody atmosphere of isolation, an amazing art direction, and a great score. The control scheme wasn't ideal, but it works with the type of game that MP is.
MP2 was a step down and was just too tedious with the constant switching between worlds, but it did have the breathtaking Sanctuary Fortress which is probably still my favorite level from the Prime trilogy. MP3 was better than 2, but I don't think I'd put it above MP1 even though it did control so much better.
To summarize, if you hate Metroid Prime you have no taste. Sorry, Prole. :(
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back when i was an english undergrad, we had a recent phd graduate apply for an assistant professorship in our department. his area of specialty? the works of stephen king. needless to say, he did not get the job.
"but why?" asked the earnest student and fan of horror fiction. "stephen king's novels receive great critical reviews from many publications! they are loved by many, many people throughout the world!"
because," my advisor told that student, "we are experts in literature, not books." :tophat
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you seem to have missed the part where liking metroid prime automatically makes you unworthy to determine canon
please leave
Posts 2 and 3 of this thread were made prior to you amending your original post to exclude such posters, and therefore these two posts should be taken into account for the establishment of the canon.
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back when i was an english undergrad, we had a recent phd graduate apply for an assistant professorship in our department. his area of specialty? the works of stephen king. needless to say, he did not get the job.
"but why?" asked the earnest student and fan of horror fiction. "stephen king's novels receive great critical reviews from many publications! they are loved by many, many people throughout the world!"
because," my advisor told that student, "we are experts in literature, not books." :tophat
Wow, your adviser gave that student a rather pretentious and meaningless non-answer.
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Was Metroid Prime the one with all the pointless scanning, or the one with the bad first person platforming?
It would have to be the first since Metroid Prime had no bad first person platforming.
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you seem to have missed the part where liking metroid prime automatically makes you unworthy to determine canon
please leave
Posts 2 and 3 of this thread were made prior to you amending your original post to exclude such posters, and therefore these two posts should be taken into account for the establishment of the canon.
while i find your rules lawyering to be appropriately academic, we must also observe certain rules in order to ensure that the canon be complete and authoritative. therefore, it is necessary to reject the opinions of those who are not authorities, which by definition, includes fans of metroid prime. this would be the same if i created a thread about literary canon and crushed put the works of richard a. knaak up for consideration. we are protecting the intellectual integrity of this endeavor.
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I enjoyed the first but the second was like a drawn out kick to the balls. The third was like a false truce where I ended up betrayed but my enemy didn't even think me worthy of the ball kick and so left me wondering what the hell was going on.
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Was Metroid Prime the one with all the pointless scanning, or the one with the bad first person platforming?
It would have to be the first since Metroid Prime had no bad first person platforming.
No I rather remember it having bad first person platforming, since all platforming done in the first person is poor.
i nominate you to the board as adjunct. your reasoning is impeccable :tophat
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Was Metroid Prime the one with all the pointless scanning, or the one with the bad first person platforming?
It would have to be the first since Metroid Prime had no bad first person platforming.
No I rather remember it having bad first person platforming, since all platforming done in the first person is poor.
I don't see how anyone could have any problems with the platforming in MP. It was fairly minimal, though more than most FPSs, and designed to work as intuitively as possible, which it did.
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this would be the same if i created a thread about literary canon and crushed put the works of richard a. knaak up for consideration. we are protecting the intellectual integrity of this endeavor.
I have no idea who that is, but he must be pretty bad.
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Even Haze knows not to have crappy platforming in first person
That's right, Haze
Are you going to cry?
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Was Metroid Prime the one with all the pointless scanning, or the one with the bad first person platforming?
It would have to be the first since Metroid Prime had no bad first person platforming.
No I rather remember it having bad first person platforming, since all platforming done in the first person is poor.
I don't see how anyone could have any problems with the platforming in MP. It was fairly minimal, though more than most FPSs, and designed to work as intuitively as possible, which it did.
Working as intuitively as possible, and being good aren't the same thing.
I never had any problems with it and I've played through it several times.
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canon in D minus
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you could make an intuitive escort mission, but it'd still be an escort mission.
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you could make an intuitive escort mission, but it'd still be an escort mission.
Do stealth missions work like that too? :'(
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What's so different about platforming in first-person and third person? It's almost exactly the same, except the camera is closer. I never had any problems with it, especially since they made it so that your view tilts downwards slightly while jumping, letting you adjust yourself.
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you could make an intuitive escort mission, but it'd still be an escort mission.
An escort mission is defined by an unknown that the player has no direct control of, which is why it's so reviled. Same goes for AI partners, though this is an area that has slowly given more control to the player.
First person platforming is just perspective.
Was Metroid Prime the one with all the pointless scanning, or the one with the bad first person platforming?
It would have to be the first since Metroid Prime had no bad first person platforming.
No I rather remember it having bad first person platforming, since all platforming done in the first person is poor.
I don't see how anyone could have any problems with the platforming in MP. It was fairly minimal, though more than most FPSs, and designed to work as intuitively as possible, which it did.
Working as intuitively as possible, and being good aren't the same thing.
I never had any problems with it and I've played through it several times.
This is probably part of the problem.
Whoops, you caught me there. I'd been trying to hide my problems from everyone here, but you're detective skills are just too much. Okay, guys, I admit it...I'm an MP-junkie. It's completely devastated my life and crippled my ability to properly appreciate truly great games. I'm sorry, I can't help myself... :(
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What's so different about platforming in first-person and third person?
it's analogous to the difference between stephen king and literature. mr. rygar's denunciation of first-person platforming is exhaustive -- if it seems to require explanation, this is only a product of your irremediable alienation from the canon. the root of this alienation is your regard for metroid prime. :tophat
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Third person 3d platforming is a bad approximation of 2d platforming in the first place, so in the most Platonic sense first person platforming just sucks.
What's so different about platforming in first-person and third person?
it's analogous to the difference between stephen king and literature. mr. rygar's denunciation of first-person platforming is exhaustive -- if it seems to require explanation, this is only a product of your irremediable alienation from the canon. the root of this alienation is your regard for metroid prime. :tophat
Neither one of you is answering the question.
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Third person 3d platforming is a bad approximation of 2d platforming in the first place, so in the most Platonic sense first person platforming just sucks.
What's so different about platforming in first-person and third person?
it's analogous to the difference between stephen king and literature. mr. rygar's denunciation of first-person platforming is exhaustive -- if it seems to require explanation, this is only a product of your irremediable alienation from the canon. the root of this alienation is your regard for metroid prime. :tophat
Neither one of you is answering the question.
no question has been asked; or at least, no question has been asked that is not fully addressed by the original post
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I bought Metriod Prime for the GC when it came out and found it really, well, bad. Nothing in the game's environment was particularly interesting, the controls were downright nightmarish coming from pc fps games, and most of the mechanics were either designed to tickle nostalgia glands or be terribly frustrating due to perspective.
Very weak and forgettable game for me. I think I played like a quarter of the way through or so before moving on to something else, just waiting to see if it would pick up and be OMFG AWESOME like everyone on gaming-age was saying at the time.
professor, I do say that the huge praise that metriod prime receives fails evilbore peer review.
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you seem to have missed the part where liking metroid prime automatically makes you unworthy to determine canon
please leave
Posts 2 and 3 of this thread were made prior to you amending your original post to exclude such posters, and therefore these two posts should be taken into account for the establishment of the canon.
while i find your rules lawyering to be appropriately academic, we must also observe certain rules in order to ensure that the canon be complete and authoritative. therefore, it is necessary to reject the opinions of those who are not authorities, which by definition, includes fans of metroid prime. this would be the same if i created a thread about literary canon and crushed put the works of richard a. knaak up for consideration. we are protecting the intellectual integrity of this endeavor.
I concur that the opinions of those individuals who are not authorities on this game must be excluded from the canon. And if we are to abide by internet gaming forum rules, the only ones who can offer a truly authoritative and definitive opinion on the game are those who have never played it.
As I have played the game, I concede my positive opinion must be excluded. Naturally, any person who has played the game and has a negative opinion should also be excluded.
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Third person 3d platforming is a bad approximation of 2d platforming in the first place, so in the most Platonic sense first person platforming just sucks.
What's so different about platforming in first-person and third person?
it's analogous to the difference between stephen king and literature. mr. rygar's denunciation of first-person platforming is exhaustive -- if it seems to require explanation, this is only a product of your irremediable alienation from the canon. the root of this alienation is your regard for metroid prime. :tophat
Neither one of you is answering the question.
I don't understand why you want the question answered. Who are you trying to convince?
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I enjoyed it... but I never beat the last boss. Too long and difficult and it's not like I cared about where the story was going :lol
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or at least, no question has been asked that is not fully addressed by the original post
I see only opinions about the game which don't address the question about what exactly makes first person platforming bad.
Fie upon this house of lies; it is anti-intellectual.
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Third person 3d platforming is a bad approximation of 2d platforming in the first place, so in the most Platonic sense first person platforming just sucks.
The former statement might have some credibility were it not for the existence of Super Mario Galaxy, which does things that a 2D platformer simply couldn't.
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according to the idiots who populate message boards, if you do not like metroid prime, you have clearly not played it properly. therefore, it is safe to assume that not having played the game is functionally identical to having a negative opinion of the game, and likewise, only negative opinions should be considered under your convenient logic. corollary to this substitution is the fact that metroid prime is a shitty fucking game.
this is called the "shenmue" rule
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the 3d platforming thing is like "if you have to ask, you'll never know" blah blah blah
I think it's fairly okay, but the biggest problem is not being able to correct yourself in midair as well because you can't really see the back and front of the platform you are jumping to simultaneously.
people were fairly high on MP platforming, but i don't really see what it does that makes it that distinct from other FPS games (like halo, for example, which has an equally forgiving floaty physics model)
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Goddamn it Drinky. MP1 is easily one of my favorite games.
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I played it and it was fucking horrible. Shit aiming, boring unpopulated levels with first person platforming and ridiculous backtracking.
I guess if it was the only first person game available on the console you might think it's good due to lack of choice. Those of us who have been playing them for years on PC and Xbox laugh at the shittyness of this terrible, terrible game.
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I played it and it was fucking horrible. Shit aiming, boring unpopulated levels with first person platforming and ridiculous backtracking.
I guess if it was the only first person game available on the console you might think it's good due to lack of choice. Those of us who have been playing them for years on PC and Xbox laugh at the shittyness of this terrible, terrible game.
I've enjoyed FPS games on PC for years and loved Metroid Prime. :-*
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there are always exceptions to every rule. you are all of them
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I played it and it was fucking horrible. Shit aiming, boring unpopulated levels with first person platforming and ridiculous backtracking.
I guess if it was the only first person game available on the console you might think it's good due to lack of choice. Those of us who have been playing them for years on PC and Xbox laugh at the shittyness of this terrible, terrible game.
I played hours of Unreal Tournament long before Metroid Prime came out.
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ooh, can we sneak Legend of Mana > Secret of Mana and Romancing SaGa > all other Square games into the canon before anyone else notices? :hyper
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ooh, can we sneak Legend of Mana > Secret of Mana and Romancing SaGa > all other Square games into the canon before anyone else notices? :hyper
I second the motion for Legend of Mana > Secret of Mana.
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Call me an exception too. I had tons of prior PC FPS experience.
I didn't go into Metroid Prime expecting a good FPS, I'd heard enough about it's quirks already, I just wanted a good game... and I got that.
Never had any desire to play a sequel though :-\
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Never had any desire to play a sequel though :-\
Skip Echoes unless someone you know has a save game at the start of Sanctuary Fortress.
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ooh, can we sneak Legend of Mana > Secret of Mana and Romancing SaGa > all other Square games into the canon before anyone else notices? :hyper
definitely
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Yeah, I remember playing Metroid Prime 2 and getting something like 85% completion the first time around. I never bothered going back and getting the rest, and I never successfully did a second playthrough (just like Twilight Princess!).
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metroid prime 2 IS shit
I have to say I did enjoy MP1 and MP3, but MP2 no. Hated that game.
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Yeah, I remember playing Metroid Prime 2 and getting something like 85% completion the first time around. I never bothered going back and getting the rest, and I never successfully did a second playthrough (just like Twilight Princess!).
I beat MP2 and then put it away for a long time. Later I came back and played through to Sanctuary Fortress just to see that level again. Yes, I like that level that much.
[youtube=425,350]tS7rWu4aRR8[/youtube]
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If I could actually play it without feeling nauseated, I'd probably like it. :-[
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If I could actually play it without feeling nauseated, I'd probably like it. :-[
:(
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If I could actually play it without feeling bored and wanting to play a better game, I'd probably like it. :-[
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you're 19 crushed.
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metroid is a great series, and the primes are great games
i enjoyed 2 most of all. honestly
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I find the prime games to be flawed, but nevertheless the good outweighs some of the recurring design botches. If a synthesis of corruption's action, moveset, controls with talon IV's level design were to happen it be great. Objectively speaking, prime's problem was backtracking is only good when confined to one area. The game starts great but when it forces you out of phendrana to go ALL THE WAY BACK to the landing site for the doublejump and then head straight back its irritating. Gamecube controller wasnt suited for the game. Other than that, most atmospheric game Ive ever played.
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yeah, it's my favorite game ever because:
1: I LOVED the targeting system which made boss fights and specific enemies really fun to fight. Most enemies were fodder and the handling of multiple enemies (like a room full of space pirates) could be better but after the first hour of gameplay, you should have picked up the controls. Apparently some people in this thread played through the game and hated the controls? You have to admit that the bossfights benefited from that system though. I don't consider the game perfect simply because it took way too long to get adjusted to the controls.
2: The art, soundtrack, and general atmosphere is better than just about anything else I have seen or played. It's the reason why I'm interested in games as an art form. It's not something that you understand by just watching a video review. This game is the only thing I respect about nintendo for a very good reason.
3: It pisses everybody who bought it on sale for $10 when they were sick for a week with diarrhea because they realized it is a FPS where you can not teabag your enemies. I was only interested in it at first because of the high review score but after I actually liked the game, I kinda liked how it got itself a special niche as troll fodder. I mean, I can understand how someone would have problems with the game, but I can still just sit back and say that they're wrong because I say so.
Also, why do people have a problem with it having the Metroid license like that it took the franchise off in the wrong direction? Around the same time as MP1, there were new 2D GBA Metroid games so obviously fans of the old-school games would still get their fix.
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awesome series, Im playing 3 right now
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awesome series, Im playing 3 right now
It's the only one in the series that I could get into enough to beat. THe backtracking and difficulty of the first 2 were too hardcore for me.
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I played the game through before many console FPSes and before getting used to the dual analog setup so at the time, I didn't find the controls that horrible after getting used to them... but nowadays, I think that control scheme would get awful. The actual gameplay wasn't terrible, I've certainly played worse, but the amount of backtracking needed was utterly ridiculous. The game seemed to be, "find this item, then find the next item on the complete opposite side of the map", in the 2D metroids from Super Metroid and beyond, there wasn't nearly this much backtracking, you were always discovering new areas, while right now the thing I most remember about Prime is running back and forth through that fire cavern trying to jump in first person. So yeah, while I was expecting the worst (turning one of my favorite 2D franchises into a FPS made by a rookie Western team) the game wasn't quite that bad, it was just dull.
I don't know how you can fault the graphics though, Prole, it definitely was one of the nicer looking and more atmospheric games upon its release. And the music was excellent.
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back when i was an english undergrad, we had a recent phd graduate apply for an assistant professorship in our department. his area of specialty? the works of stephen king. needless to say, he did not get the job.
"but why?" asked the earnest student and fan of horror fiction. "stephen king's novels receive great critical reviews from many publications! they are loved by many, many people throughout the world!"
because," my advisor told that student, "we are experts in literature, not books." :tophat
oh man
if true, pwn
but sadly there is a closet industry devoted to king devotees.
and prime was so bad i didn't finish past the asteroid prologue
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I was just discussing this game yesterday. I feel like it hold up in context, but where it really shines is that it was, for me, the first "next gen" game. Tons of little details like Samus' reflection in her own helmet, water on the visor, shit like that was really new. It felt different, all those little details. For that alone it deserves a place in the canon.
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So many people in this thread voluntarily forfeiting their rights to discuss games ever again.
I must say I agree with the canon as it has been established. Metroid Prime is crap.
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ooh, can we sneak Legend of Mana > Secret of Mana and Romancing SaGa > all other Square games into the canon before anyone else notices? :hyper
definitely
go fuck each other
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In retrospect, MP should have been a dead giveaway of the future path that Nintendo chose to take. Taking a classic series like Metroid that emphasized platforming, puzzle solving and action and turning it into a weaksauce fps that not only lacked any of the first two games' assets but watered down the fps experience as well. It's like taking The Godfather movies and turning them into a bad tv soap opera.
There's tons of specific stuff to bitch about (HOT LOCK ON ACTION kills any sense of skill/danger/action in the game, scanning is tedious, pointless and antithetical to the first entries in the franchise emphasizing lack of back story, and backtracking is tedious) but why bother when we can just sum it up thusly:
Metroid Prime sucks. Sucks long and hard. I would also accept: am nintenho thinks that it is the best game ever. AM NINTENHO. :tophat
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I loved this game. :'(
Metroid Prime 3 is the best though. By a country mile.
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*high-fives Borys*
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About the only thing that this thread has accomplished is making me want to go back and play the MP trilogy. Thanks, Prole!
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i think we're making progress. at the very least, we've identified who the literate, knowledgable gamers are and who the unwashed types likewise are :tophat
this hasn't changed the canonical fact that metroid prime, like shenmue, is a shit game
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I think you should automatically be disqualified from deciding what is and isn't a quality game if you own or have owned any game with an anime preteen girl with magical powers on the cover.
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don't judge a book by it's cover.
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I dont know how i can take the opinion of someone who believes Assassins Creed is a good game, as a serious opinion, or legitimized to institute canon.
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I kinda dug it when it came out, but I gave up when the ghost molester things showed up. I later tried to come back to the game, but I couldn't figure out how I ever tolerated those terrible controls.
MP3 was pretty good stuff, though.
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This thread is irrefutably homo.
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This thread is irrefutably homo.
To me, this makes the most sense in this thread.
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v720/DeadWolfBones2/1299718-1.gif)
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I take part in the best canon ever: the Bloodwake canon.
That way, I don't let forum users influence my opinions on games I legitimately enjoyed, such as Metroid Prime.
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I take part in the best canon ever: the Bloodwake canon.
That way, I don't let forum users influence my opinions on games I legitimately enjoyed, such as Metroid Prime.
Your enjoyment of said piece of interactive software was predicated on ignorance, so it can not reasonably be termed "legitimate".
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I take part in the best canon ever: the Bloodwake canon.
That way, I don't let forum users influence my opinions on games I legitimately enjoyed, such as Metroid Prime.
Your enjoyment of said piece of interactive software was predicated on ignorance, so it can not reasonably be termed "legitimate".
Naah, I played through both 1 and 2 while I've been a member of this forum, and believe me, this isn't the first thread with hateful words against Metroid Prime.
It's not the best game ever, but I enjoyed it.
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Your enjoyment of said piece of interactive software was predicated on ignorance, so it can not reasonably be termed "legitimate".
"You didn't REALLY like that videogame, because it's stupid, because you liked it."
/evilbore
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Your enjoyment of said piece of interactive software was predicated on ignorance, so it can not reasonably be termed "legitimate".
"You didn't REALLY like that videogame, because it's stupid, because you liked it."
/evilbore
You're finally learning, Crushed. Finally.
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Your enjoyment of said piece of interactive software was predicated on ignorance, so it can not reasonably be termed "legitimate".
"You didn't REALLY like that videogame, because it's stupid, because you liked it."
/evilbore
You're finally learning, Crushed. Finally.
:lol :lol :lol
I'll tell you one game that Evilbore hated that I liked originally but began to hate: The fucking Darkness
Started great, looked great, game turned to shit.
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I didn't last half an hour with Metroid Prime. Just didn't enjoy it at all.
But I loved the Darkness from front to back.
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I think you should automatically be disqualified from deciding what is and isn't a quality game if you own or have owned any game with an anime preteen girl with magical powers on the cover.
i have not suggested that any of those animu games are good. i am sure that john updike has read harry potter, fwiw; it doesn't preclude him from calling your favorite writers hacks.
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*puts on monocle* *sips expensive tea from Italy* Eh, wot! :tophat
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italian tea? wot indeed :tophat
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Your enjoyment of said piece of interactive software was predicated on ignorance, so it can not reasonably be termed "legitimate".
"You didn't REALLY like that videogame, because it's stupid, because you liked it."
/evilbore
You're finally learning, Crushed. Finally.
:lol :lol :lol
I'll tell you one game that Evilbore hated that I liked originally but began to hate: The fucking Darkness
Started great, looked great, game turned to shit.
You're welcome
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italian tea? wot indeed :tophat
I'm so rich that I used my time machine to go back in time to steal tea plants from China and then have it shipped to Italy so that it could be planted in a hidden grotto and then tended for a thousand years by blind albinos just so I could drink that cup of tea that I just drank two seconds ago.