THE BORE

General => The Superdeep Borehole => Topic started by: The Fake Shemp on July 20, 2008, 09:45:49 PM

Title: I might have been sold the biggest lemon ever
Post by: The Fake Shemp on July 20, 2008, 09:45:49 PM: I inherited a pretty crazy store.

The inventory is in shambles, and I'm pretty sure there was some rampant internal theft prior to my transfer. It's hard to tell because the inventory controls were absent and security is abysmal (there are no cameras - what the fuck?). They were borrowing so many employees that the personnel list looks like a local GameStop database. Of the actual employees, the ASM is the only one capably of being trained to competency. The other keyholder is totally jaded and burnt out. They have a total lack of GAs - boasting at 16-year-old brat who can't even work weekends for awful reasons and an actually competent, but still new 20-year-old female that will be leaving in less than a month to go to school. Pretty much, after next month, there are no consistent part-timers.

The actual organization of the store is ridiculous and makes the employees work ten times harder to do tasks that should be relatively streamlined. The aesthetic of the store is pretty ugly and they've seemingly thrown every piece of marketing at it without realize what would stick.

The sales are down, along with reservations and subscriptions because they successfully chased away its base. Selling reservations is difficult because sales only come from tourists and folks going to the mall for other reasons.

That said, it still does a ton of sales because of its location and is considered an old warhorse for the company - it gets hit routinely by the Regional Director and VPs. If I can turn this thing around and it will take months, probably two whole quarters, it will be my crowning achievement.

This week, I'm trying to get my inventory under control and hire new part-time associates. Then working on breaking all the bad habits and creating a strong focus on repairing our relationship with local customers. I might even try to pair up with my DM and local events to try and bring people locals to the store.

It's definitely a challenge.
Title: Re: I might have been sold the biggest lemon ever
Post by: The Fake Shemp on July 20, 2008, 09:50:01 PM: I turned down the easiest gig for this one. I realized it was an opportunity for me to shine in a more visible store, albeit it would require more work. My DM is a good guy and seems very hands on - I totally appreciate that. But I think my expectations and standards might have surprised him.

Also, today, someone stole the DS Lites from those metal chasis things they're locked into. Clever shoplifting, but highlights problems with the store - totally understaffed (it was me and a still new GA on a busy Sunday afternoon in a mall) and security (no store cameras and mall security is totally uncooperative).
Title: Re: I might have been sold the biggest lemon ever
Post by: Crushed on July 20, 2008, 09:52:09 PM: sweet, now eb knows which store to steal from

free games :hyper
Title: Re: I might have been sold the biggest lemon ever
Post by: Great Rumbler on July 20, 2008, 09:55:14 PM: Quote from: Willco on July 20, 2008, 09:50:01 PM
I turned down the easiest gig for this one.

:bow Willco :bow2
Title: Re: I might have been sold the biggest lemon ever
Post by: The Fake Shemp on July 20, 2008, 09:55:43 PM: I've locked down inventory since my transfer. That won't happen. I worked in a trouble store near Oakland for over a year - a store prone to system thefts no less. Under my reign, they had two good inventories back-to-back.

I will fix this.
Title: Re: I might have been sold the biggest lemon ever
Post by: GilloD on July 20, 2008, 09:56:05 PM: Hire Particle. Also, next time I'm in DC I'm gonna walk in and eyeball you and you'll be all, "Is that someone from EB?", but then I'll leave and you won't know.

But for real, good luck! Sounds fucked up, but fixable.
Title: Re: I might have been sold the biggest lemon ever
Post by: The Fake Shemp on July 20, 2008, 09:57:23 PM: It's totally fixable, but I'm used to walking into stores with a few glaring opportunities but some strengths. The only real strength of this store seems to be its location. It needs significant work on staff hiring/training, inventory, organization, long-term sales, etc.
Title: Re: I might have been sold the biggest lemon ever
Post by: Olivia Wilde Homo on July 20, 2008, 10:19:46 PM: Sounds kind of fun.
Title: Re: I might have been sold the biggest lemon ever
Post by: Howard Alan Treesong on July 20, 2008, 10:23:54 PM: REMAKE THE STORE IN YOUR IMAGE

YOU ARE A STORE MANAGER LIKE UNTO IRON
Title: Re: I might have been sold the biggest lemon ever
Post by: Madrun Badrun on July 20, 2008, 10:40:17 PM: Wilco if you build a statue of yourself, I'm going to put a silly hat on it.
Title: Re: I might have been sold the biggest lemon ever
Post by: MrAngryFace on July 20, 2008, 10:55:51 PM: Going by the idea that bad word of mouth is exponential, maybe you shouldnt be posting this stuff.

(http://www.sillyjokes.co.uk/images/dress-up/acc/monocle-value.jpg)
Title: Re: I might have been sold the biggest lemon ever
Post by: Van Cruncheon on July 20, 2008, 10:59:30 PM: into this hour of darkness, where shrink is rampant and hours go unworked...

like a radiant six-pointed star from the heavens...

clad in the finest of brooks brothers menswear...

FEDER-MAN! LET THE POWER OF THE JEW SHINE BRIGHT AS GOLD, AS PURE AS SILVER, AS BOUNDLESS AS THE COFFERS OF YOUR FATHERS!
Title: Re: I might have been sold the biggest lemon ever
Post by: The Fake Shemp on July 20, 2008, 11:09:38 PM: Quote from: The Iconistrator on July 20, 2008, 10:55:51 PM
Going by the idea that bad word of mouth is exponential, maybe you shouldnt be posting this stuff.

Considering that like you, Prole and RoboJ are the only ones that know where I work, I don't think that will be a problem!

I will be hitting Harvard on the Pike (Montgomery College) tomorrow to talk to Student Life and Career Services about getting some wage slaves.
Title: Re: I might have been sold the biggest lemon ever
Post by: demi on July 20, 2008, 11:11:26 PM: Looks like you're gonna need more suits
Title: Re: I might have been sold the biggest lemon ever
Post by: The Fake Shemp on July 20, 2008, 11:12:03 PM: U SHOULD SEE MY OTHER ONE LOL
Title: Re: I might have been sold the biggest lemon ever
Post by: BlackMage on July 20, 2008, 11:22:35 PM: lolretail
Title: Re: I might have been sold the biggest lemon ever
Post by: ferrarimanf355 on July 20, 2008, 11:27:14 PM: Hey, do you have any copies of Soulcalibur IV and are willing to break street dates for me? :-*
Title: Re: I might have been sold the biggest lemon ever
Post by: TVC15 on July 20, 2008, 11:30:40 PM: Have you checked the alleys behind the store for potential dirty fuck dumpsters? If this is in a big mall or something, you might need to look somewhere else for a fuck dumpster, since mall dumpsters tend to have lots of corrugated cardboard in them, which is decidedly unsexy. Your sac could get cut open and unravel.
Title: Re: I might have been sold the biggest lemon ever
Post by: Howard Alan Treesong on July 20, 2008, 11:32:03 PM: You weren't planning to wear cufflinks with that suit, were you?
Title: Re: I might have been sold the biggest lemon ever
Post by: Human Snorenado on July 20, 2008, 11:38:20 PM: I am eagerly, eagerly awaiting the "well retail is bullshit and I should have listened to those that knew and focused on something else" thread from Willco. It won't come tomorrow, and it won't come anytime soon probably, but it will come. It always does.
Title: Re: I might have been sold the biggest lemon ever
Post by: MrAngryFace on July 20, 2008, 11:41:57 PM: Nah, as much as I rag on Willco, he's made for the biz. He's totally willing to sell out, and thats in his best interest anyway.

Retail sux for everyone else tho.
Title: Re: I might have been sold the biggest lemon ever
Post by: The Fake Shemp on July 20, 2008, 11:43:52 PM: I'm a whore for money!
Title: Re: I might have been sold the biggest lemon ever
Post by: MrAngryFace on July 20, 2008, 11:46:35 PM: Quote from: Willco on July 20, 2008, 11:43:52 PM
I'm a whore for money!

SOMEONES GOTTA BE MANAGER!
Title: Re: I might have been sold the biggest lemon ever
Post by: Howard Alan Treesong on July 20, 2008, 11:47:51 PM: Quote from: The Iconistrator on July 20, 2008, 11:46:35 PM
Quote from: Willco on July 20, 2008, 11:43:52 PM
I'm a whore for money!

SOMEONES GOTTA BE MANAGER!

I figured out why Willco is wearing a suit! It's because he's the proverbial "suit" you're always complaining about at your job.
Title: Re: I might have been sold the biggest lemon ever
Post by: Human Snorenado on July 20, 2008, 11:51:32 PM: Quote from: Willco on July 20, 2008, 11:43:52 PM
I'm a whore for money!

I shoulda been born Jewish! Kidding. Sort of. Maybe.

Srsly tho, I think I probably used up all of my patience for working in the real world on retail. Now I'm not even suitable to interact with the public at large for more than maybe an hour at a time.
Title: Re: I might have been sold the biggest lemon ever
Post by: TVC15 on July 20, 2008, 11:53:24 PM: Let's move in together, Triumph.
Title: Re: I might have been sold the biggest lemon ever
Post by: Crushed on July 20, 2008, 11:57:17 PM: You must control your store with an iron fist.

[youtube=425,350]q6CGL7TqDMg[/youtube]
Title: Re: I might have been sold the biggest lemon ever
Post by: Human Snorenado on July 21, 2008, 12:00:30 AM: Quote from: TVC 15 on July 20, 2008, 11:53:24 PM
Let's move in together, Triumph.

Together we can plot the inevitable steps that will have to be taken in the aftermath of the coming downfall of civilization as we know it. The first thing we will need to do is find impressionable, simplistic folk to be our followers, then convince them to give us all of their money so that we can stock up on what will be necessary... namely firearms, ammunition, bottled water and children. Preferably white children. Then when it all comes tumbling down we will be ready for the Salo phase of things...
Title: Re: I might have been sold the biggest lemon ever
Post by: TVC15 on July 21, 2008, 12:05:58 AM: Plus I'll let you fuck me in my ass if you put on some Robert Smith clown makeup.
Title: Re: I might have been sold the biggest lemon ever
Post by: Human Snorenado on July 21, 2008, 12:10:19 AM: Quote from: TVC 15 on July 21, 2008, 12:05:58 AM
Plus I'll let you fuck me in my ass if you put on some Robert Smith clown makeup.

Let's not get hasty. A man wants some romance.
Title: Re: I might have been sold the biggest lemon ever
Post by: laesperanzapaz on July 21, 2008, 12:21:23 AM: Quote from: ParticleReality on July 20, 2008, 11:17:57 PM
Quote from: GilloD on July 20, 2008, 09:56:05 PM
Hire Particle.

Yeah, hire me. I'll be the best employee ever. I'd even take a pay cut.

Fuck mayne, I can be your security. All I need is a chair.
:lol are you really a teenager or are you an older man?
Title: Re: I might have been sold the biggest lemon ever
Post by: Flannel Boy on July 21, 2008, 12:32:50 AM: But I mean look at ParticleReality . He's gotta be on his feet like that all day?
Title: Re: I might have been sold the biggest lemon ever
Post by: Van Cruncheon on July 21, 2008, 01:16:36 AM: when life gives you lemons

spoiler (click to show/hide)
THROW A LEMON PARTY
[close]
Title: Re: I might have been sold the biggest lemon ever
Post by: xnikki118x on July 21, 2008, 01:19:05 AM: It's okay Willco, you'll turn the store around! :)
Title: Re: I might have been sold the biggest lemon ever
Post by: Howard Alan Treesong on July 21, 2008, 01:36:26 AM: Quote from: xnikki118x on July 21, 2008, 01:19:05 AM
It's okay Willco, you'll turn the store around! :)

Willco is going to turn that store around 360 degrees!
Title: Re: I might have been sold the biggest lemon ever
Post by: MrAngryFace on July 21, 2008, 01:37:24 AM: HE WILL SHOW THEM WHAT FOR
Title: Re: I might have been sold the biggest lemon ever
Post by: Van Cruncheon on July 21, 2008, 01:38:40 AM: he will be the "hymie" escalante in STAND AND DELIVER PRE-ORDERS
Title: Re: I might have been sold the biggest lemon ever
Post by: laesperanzapaz on July 21, 2008, 03:38:58 AM: Quote from: Synthesizer Patel on July 21, 2008, 01:36:26 AM
Quote from: xnikki118x on July 21, 2008, 01:19:05 AM
It's okay Willco, you'll turn the store around! :)

Willco is going to turn that store around 360 degrees!
so....he's going to leave it to the way it was?
Title: Re: I might have been sold the biggest lemon ever
Post by: Reb on July 21, 2008, 04:02:39 AM: Quote from: laesperanzapaz on July 21, 2008, 03:38:58 AM
Quote from: Synthesizer Patel on July 21, 2008, 01:36:26 AM
Quote from: xnikki118x on July 21, 2008, 01:19:05 AM
It's okay Willco, you'll turn the store around! :)

Willco is going to turn that store around 360 degrees!
so....he's going to leave it to the way it was?
Ok, 720 degrees then.
Title: Re: I might have been sold the biggest lemon ever
Post by: CHOW CHOW on July 21, 2008, 06:09:43 AM: Quote from: Willco on July 20, 2008, 09:57:23 PM
It's totally fixable, but I'm used to walking into stores with a few glaring opportunities but some strengths. The only real strength of this store seems to be its location. It needs significant work on staff hiring/training, inventory, organization, long-term sales, etc.
Almost sounds like you could make a Sim game out of this
Title: Re: I might have been sold the biggest lemon ever
Post by: The Fake Shemp on July 21, 2008, 07:09:16 AM: Would you like to reserve said Sim game for $5? Every reservation gets a free sweaty t-shirt!
Title: Re: I might have been sold the biggest lemon ever
Post by: Reb on July 21, 2008, 07:26:56 AM: Willco, to support your struggle, I'm currently wearing a suit.
Title: Re: I might have been sold the biggest lemon ever
Post by: Tauntaun on July 21, 2008, 10:34:39 AM: Quote from: The Experiment on July 20, 2008, 10:19:46 PM
Sounds kind of fun.

Yes, if you're a masochist. :wag
Title: Re: I might have been sold the biggest lemon ever
Post by: Eric P on July 23, 2008, 09:46:58 AM: update requested
Title: Re: I might have been sold the biggest lemon ever
Post by: The Fake Shemp on July 23, 2008, 10:05:05 AM: I got some KPIs (key performance indicators) to bounce back, but my ASM called out sick until TODAY, so I've virtually been running the store by myself. This will be a slow healing.
Title: Re: I might have been sold the biggest lemon ever
Post by: Mupepe on July 23, 2008, 10:07:00 AM: I hate KPI's.

I have weekly KPI's to perform for 6 fucking locations. Jesus
Title: Re: I might have been sold the biggest lemon ever
Post by: bagofeyes on July 23, 2008, 10:25:06 AM: My KPIs and ASMs went AWOL and so I need to TCB, ASAP.

lol business
Title: Re: I might have been sold the biggest lemon ever
Post by: The Fake Shemp on July 23, 2008, 11:09:37 AM: I also need some TPS reports! :P

I'm pairing up with a friend from the Bay Area, who literally was the best Store Manager in the entire company (numero uno!) and made a rapid ascent to District Manager. He's been breaking down the rebuilding effort, supplying me with hiring sheets, etc. He's not just one of the best managers ever, he's a good friend and it's nice to have that kind of support in your corner.

He says the first focus I should have is hiring, because everything revolves around staff. I'm going to contact my DM and see if I can make the case for hiring my half-brother. It depends on the DM, as I know my last one let one SM work with his daughter. But I can trust my half-brother not to steal, he's an incredibly hard working and likes talking about videogames.
Title: Re: I might have been sold the biggest lemon ever
Post by: Tauntaun on July 23, 2008, 11:19:13 AM: Quote from: Willco on July 23, 2008, 11:09:37 AM
I also need some TPS reports! :P

I'm pairing up with a friend from the Bay Area, who literally was the best Store Manager in the entire company (numero uno!) and made a rapid ascent to District Manager. He's been breaking down the rebuilding effort, supplying me with hiring sheets, etc. He's not just one of the best managers ever, he's a good friend and it's nice to have that kind of support in your corner.

He says the first focus I should have is hiring, because everything revolves around staff. I'm going to contact my DM and see if I can make the case for hiring my half-brother. It depends on the DM, as I know my last one let one SM work with his daughter. But I can trust my half-brother not to steal, he's an incredibly hard working and likes talking about videogames.

lol nerd

:kylielaff

spoiler (click to show/hide)
Why does he not post here is he afraid of teh buttsecks? :( :hump :-*
[close]
Title: Re: I might have been sold the biggest lemon ever
Post by: GilloD on July 23, 2008, 11:20:35 AM: Quote from: Willco on July 23, 2008, 11:09:37 AM
I also need some TPS reports! :P

I'm pairing up with a friend from the Bay Area, who literally was the best Store Manager in the entire company (numero uno!) and made a rapid ascent to District Manager. He's been breaking down the rebuilding effort, supplying me with hiring sheets, etc. He's not just one of the best managers ever, he's a good friend and it's nice to have that kind of support in your corner.

He says the first focus I should have is hiring, because everything revolves around staff. I'm going to contact my DM and see if I can make the case for hiring my half-brother. It depends on the DM, as I know my last one let one SM work with his daughter. But I can trust my half-brother not to steal, he's an incredibly hard working and likes talking about videogames.

Truth. Gamespot is a giant, faceless, ubiquitous shop. The only thing you have to not make it a big gray box full of nerds is staff.
Title: Re: I might have been sold the biggest lemon ever
Post by: The Fake Shemp on July 23, 2008, 11:28:30 AM: And that's the biggest problem with the staff. They're soulless, unhappy folks that I don't even think enjoy videogames anymore.

Biggest reason I can see why is the dearth of adequate training for sales and store operations in the immediate area. I think hiring focus was finding folks knowledgable on videogames first and foremost, which should be a plus and not a requirement. The best employees I've hired have had a passing interest in the industry, if any at all, but were energetic folks that were fun to work with. The knowledge can be gained from any mediocre site (IGN, GameSpot), but personality is something you either have or you don't.

I mean, we don't lift heavy objects (unless you count Rock Band), the store is not a giant, sterile big box with aisles, store hours are fantastic and - fuck! - we sell videogames. You should be able to do your daily duties, sell some stuff, talk to folks and have fun.
Title: Re: I might have been sold the biggest lemon ever
Post by: Reb on July 23, 2008, 11:35:06 AM: Staffing stores is the worst! Stupid flaky teenagers.
Title: Re: I might have been sold the biggest lemon ever
Post by: Eric P on July 23, 2008, 11:35:16 AM: Quote from: Willco on July 23, 2008, 11:28:30 AM
And that's the biggest problem with the staff. They're soulless, unhappy folks that I don't even think enjoy videogames anymore.

ah, sony fans
Title: Re: I might have been sold the biggest lemon ever
Post by: The Fake Shemp on July 23, 2008, 11:39:08 AM: Actually, it's a big part of the problem. I hate brand loyalists and the store is full of 'em. My ASM is the only real staff member that I think I can build up and - surprise! - he's not one. He owns pretty much all systems, but plays primarily the Xbox 360.

Despite our SVRs saying that the Nintendo DS and Xbox 360 are our two biggest categories in terms of breaking down sales, there are like two or three (out of FIVE active employees) that hate Microsoft because "the system is inferior" or they're just "Sony people".
Title: Re: I might have been sold the biggest lemon ever
Post by: FlameOfCallandor on July 23, 2008, 11:40:30 AM: I remember one summer I applied to work at gamestop and one of the interview questions was this.

Manager: "What is your one desert island game? You know, besides final fantasy 7, LOL"
Me: "Uh, Final Fantasy 7 sucks. I would bring advance wars"

I didnt get the job.
Title: Re: I might have been sold the biggest lemon ever
Post by: The Fake Shemp on July 23, 2008, 11:45:20 AM: See, and that's when you get awful hires.

Almost every one of my interviews have no specific questions about games or consoles. I might roleplay and ask someone to sell me on a game, but I usually ask the person which console they're the least knowledgable on and go from there, to see how they are outside their comfort zone.

There's a reason why I've had three people promoted from under me within the past six months, including one to a Store Manager position, and why stores are struggling to find people to even hold meager keyholder positions in the immediate area.

When you come into my store, you're coming in to buy something you want to buy, not for me to peddle fanboyism and obnoxious sales people.
Title: Re: I might have been sold the biggest lemon ever
Post by: FlameOfCallandor on July 23, 2008, 11:50:25 AM: Actually I take it back it was GameCrazy not gamestop.
Title: Re: I might have been sold the biggest lemon ever
Post by: The Fake Shemp on July 23, 2008, 11:50:51 AM: Still sucks!
Title: Re: I might have been sold the biggest lemon ever
Post by: Tauntaun on July 23, 2008, 12:18:16 PM: Quote from: ParticleReality on July 23, 2008, 11:52:18 AM
hahahaha holy shit.

I sound alot better then all these people. Send me a form to fill out.

I don't think you've got enough of his dick in your mouth, deep throat, then maybe you'll be hired.
Title: Re: I might have been sold the biggest lemon ever
Post by: GilloD on July 23, 2008, 12:52:03 PM: It's fun if the sales dude knows Persona from Disgaea, but I'm way more interested in just having a friendly encounter with reasonable people in a clean space. The reality is that I run smack into brand zealots who are trying their damndest to upsell me on everything in the store.
Title: Re: I might have been sold the biggest lemon ever
Post by: Brehvolution on July 23, 2008, 01:31:18 PM: Quote from: Willco on July 23, 2008, 11:45:20 AM

When you come into my store, you're coming in to buy something you want to buy, not for me to peddle fanboyism and obnoxious sales people.

Can you send this frame of mind in a email to all customer facing associates that your company employs?
Title: Re: I might have been sold the biggest lemon ever
Post by: Ganhyun on July 23, 2008, 01:36:14 PM: Quote from: Zero Hero on July 23, 2008, 01:31:18 PM
Quote from: Willco on July 23, 2008, 11:45:20 AM

When you come into my store, you're coming in to buy something you want to buy, not for me to peddle fanboyism and obnoxious sales people.

Can you send this frame of mind in a email to all customer facing associates that your company employs?

Yes please. Part of the reason my local gamestop stopped getting my business for new games was because of the huge push on me by fanboys.

If I wanted to buy a PS3, I already would have, or I will do so if I decide to at a later date.
Title: Re: I might have been sold the biggest lemon ever
Post by: DJ_Tet on July 23, 2008, 01:47:24 PM: Quote from: GilloD on July 23, 2008, 12:52:03 PM
It's fun if the sales dude knows Persona from Disgaea, but I'm way more interested in just having a friendly encounter with reasonable people in a clean space. The reality is that I run smack into brand zealots who are trying their damndest to upsell me on everything in the store.

Sometimes that creeps me out. One time I was in GS when two geeks started geeking out about how SquarEnix was once SquarEA and I wanted to crawl into a hole even though I knew every aspect of what they were discussing. I just want to buy my game with as little discussion as possible.

It was cool when the sales chick knew Katamari Damacy though, that's something that wouldn't have happened at Best Buy. The difference was she just made a passing comment and didn't have an all-out geeksplosion about it.

edit: The other difference was she wasn't obese and had a vagina, obviously. People like that are given more leeway by everyone but demi.
Title: Re: I might have been sold the biggest lemon ever
Post by: Reb on July 23, 2008, 02:03:43 PM: Vagina helps.
Title: Re: I might have been sold the biggest lemon ever
Post by: Tauntaun on July 23, 2008, 02:07:11 PM: Quote from: ParticleReality on July 23, 2008, 12:55:27 PM
Quote from: Tauntaun on July 23, 2008, 12:18:16 PM
I don't think you've got enough of his dick in your mouth, deep throat, then maybe you'll be hired.

Who's dick?

I was gonna say Willco's but I think there's room enough for two, open wide. :D

spoiler (click to show/hide)
/no homo :-* Willco you can hire him now.
[close]