THE BORE

General => The Superdeep Borehole => Topic started by: Borys on October 18, 2008, 04:52:57 PM

Title: In 7 days I'll be a married man
Post by: Borys on October 18, 2008, 04:52:57 PM
.
Title: Re: In 7 days I'll be a married man
Post by: Phoenix Dark on October 18, 2008, 04:56:08 PM
Is this the person who broke off the last marriage, or did you find a replacement that fast

grats regardless
Title: Re: In 7 days I'll be a married man
Post by: Madrun Badrun on October 18, 2008, 04:59:12 PM
You stomped on that beautiful girls dress!?  You monster!


spoiler (click to show/hide)
congrats in a week.
[close]
Title: Re: In 7 days I'll be a married man
Post by: Mr. Gundam on October 18, 2008, 05:23:02 PM
My freedom will end in about 160 hours... my life will change, our life will change.

Any tips on being a good husband Married-Bore? Does marriage = shackles?

After 2+ years of being married, I've discovered that nothing has changed. Being a homeowner is very different than renting, but married life is just like it was when we were merely living together.

Now having kids, that's when I think things really change.
Title: Re: In 7 days I'll be a married man
Post by: TakingBackSunday on October 18, 2008, 05:24:23 PM
 :borys
Title: Re: In 7 days I'll be a married man
Post by: laesperanzapaz on October 18, 2008, 05:46:41 PM
congrats

and full body pics if you can

:)
Title: Re: In 7 days I'll be a married man
Post by: Kestastrophe on October 18, 2008, 06:27:57 PM
Marriage - you can always get a divorce
You might want to keep that one to yourself for the next 7 days. I just got married in May to my girlfriend of 7 years and as someone already mentioned, it is pretty much the same. I have to wear a ring now and the skin on my finger gets irritated and dry  :-\. It might be different for you, especially if you come to the realization that you are going to be with that person forever (or more likely temporarily in your case), but I knew that I wanted to be with my girlfriend forever years before were were married.
Title: Re: In 7 days I'll be a married man
Post by: y2kev on October 18, 2008, 06:30:36 PM
Marriage - you can always get a divorce
You might want to keep that one to yourself for the next 7 days.
:lol
Title: Re: In 7 days I'll be a married man
Post by: Mr. Gundam on October 18, 2008, 06:36:06 PM
My freedom will end in about 160 hours... my life will change, our life will change.

Any tips on being a good husband Married-Bore? Does marriage = shackles?

After 2+ years of being married, I've discovered that nothing has changed. Being a homeowner is very different than renting, but married life is just like it was when we were merely living together.

Now having kids, that's when I think things really change.

We want to have a kid next year and yeah I know this will be a true manhood test. Marriage - you can always get a divorce, car or house or dog - you can always sell it.

A kid is forever.

Do you really want to have a kid right away? We're not planning on having a child until 2010 or so...

I can't imagine getting married and then immediately (within the first year) having a child.
Title: Re: In 7 days I'll be a married man
Post by: Tauntaun on October 18, 2008, 06:36:59 PM
Married life is awesome.  :)  Hope your wedding day is awesome. 
Title: Re: In 7 days I'll be a married man
Post by: Van Cruncheon on October 18, 2008, 06:44:29 PM
and in 7 more, you'll be divorced
Title: Re: In 7 days I'll be a married man
Post by: recursivelyenumerable on October 18, 2008, 06:52:10 PM
so can you divorce/remarry every week then?  that kind of part-time marriage arrangement actually sounds appealing.
Title: Re: In 7 days I'll be a married man
Post by: demi on October 18, 2008, 07:03:27 PM
Babies die when stomped, btw
Title: Re: In 7 days I'll be a married man
Post by: CurseoftheGods on October 18, 2008, 07:09:37 PM
Babies die when stomped, btw

:rofl
Title: Re: In 7 days I'll be a married man
Post by: drew on October 18, 2008, 07:14:14 PM
Babies die when stomped, btw

qft
Title: Re: In 7 days I'll be a married man
Post by: Tauntaun on October 18, 2008, 07:53:39 PM
Babies die when stomped, btw

qft

:omg
Title: Re: In 7 days I'll be a married man
Post by: Tauntaun on October 18, 2008, 07:58:28 PM
...I just don't think Borys is ready to be married. You should get up there and be like "I don't lol" then haul ass while stomping on every article of clothing in your way. Evilbore is the only woman you need, pcfag.

PC GAMING >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Console wankery.

:punch
Title: Re: In 7 days I'll be a married man
Post by: BamYouHaveAids on October 18, 2008, 08:13:13 PM
Why is half her face out of frame? Did she "fall into a doorknob?"
Title: Re: In 7 days I'll be a married man
Post by: AdmiralViscen on October 18, 2008, 08:16:01 PM
Congrats
Title: Re: In 7 days I'll be a married man
Post by: Joe Molotov on October 18, 2008, 08:25:12 PM
Stomp her dress one more time, for good luck. And yell "This one's for the 'bore!"
Title: Re: In 7 days I'll be a married man
Post by: bud on October 18, 2008, 08:32:10 PM
What do you tell Borys' wife if she has two black eyes?
spoiler (click to show/hide)
Nothin' -- he fucking told her twice already
[close]




i think i now know why you can't see her other eye

Title: Re: In 7 days I'll be a married man
Post by: CurseoftheGods on October 18, 2008, 08:47:44 PM
I think a bad joke is appropriate:

A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl.
Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well
until one day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he
could arrange a divorce for him.
The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the
circumstances, and asked him the following questions:
L: Have you any grounds?

P: Yes, an acre and half and nice little home.

L: No, I mean what is the foundation of this case?

P: It made of concrete.

L: I don't think you understand. Do either of you have a real grudge?

P: No, we have carport, and not need one.

L: I mean. What are your relations like?

P: All my relations still in Poland .

L: Is there any infidelity in your marriage?

P: We have hi-fidelity stereo an d good DVD player.

L: Does your wife beat you up?

P: No, I always up before her.

L: Is your wife a nagger?

P: No, she white.

L: Why do you want this divorce?

P: She going to kill me.

L: What makes you think that?

P: I got proof.

L: What kind of proof?

P: She going to poison me... She buy a bottle at drugstore and put on
shelf in bathroom. I can read, and it say:

'Polish Remover'

Title: Re: In 7 days I'll be a married man
Post by: laesperanzapaz on October 19, 2008, 12:38:03 AM
:rofl
Title: Re: In 7 days I'll be a married man
Post by: TVC15 on October 19, 2008, 04:06:25 AM
You're going to be a terrible father, though.  If you liked Mass Effect and KOTOR, I can't even begin to imagine what sort of shitty values system you will force upon your child.
Title: Re: In 7 days I'll be a married man
Post by: demi on October 19, 2008, 04:07:08 AM
Like Dragon Age Origins
Title: Re: In 7 days I'll be a married man
Post by: Howard Alan Treesong on October 19, 2008, 04:32:58 AM
You're going to be a terrible father, though.  If you liked Mass Effect and KOTOR, I can't even begin to imagine what sort of shitty values system you will force upon your child.

probably one that's arbitrary yet manichean
Title: Re: In 7 days I'll be a married man
Post by: TVC15 on October 19, 2008, 04:44:05 AM
I hear borys's cunnilingus strategy is modeled after the dialogue trees in Mass Effect.
Title: Re: In 7 days I'll be a married man
Post by: Howard Alan Treesong on October 19, 2008, 05:02:01 AM
I hear borys's cunnilingus strategy is modeled after the dialogue trees in Mass Effect.

"Would it be all right if we consumated our relationship? Uh, orally?"
"I'd kinda like to eat you out."
"I can smell your cunt."
Title: Re: In 7 days I'll be a married man
Post by: TVC15 on October 19, 2008, 05:04:22 AM
"Why do you keep hitting the same spot, Borys?"
"Shut up bitch I'm trying to max out paragon."
Title: Re: In 7 days I'll be a married man
Post by: Tieno on October 19, 2008, 02:06:15 PM
I'm trying to picture Borys as a father.
Title: Re: In 7 days I'll be a married man
Post by: BamYouHaveAids on October 19, 2008, 03:47:00 PM
I'm trying to picture Borys as a father.
(http://www.andymasteroffish.com/pic/BabyStatue.jpg)
Title: Re: In 7 days I'll be a married man
Post by: Kestastrophe on October 19, 2008, 04:02:54 PM
 :lol
Title: Re: In 7 days I'll be a married man
Post by: CurseoftheGods on October 19, 2008, 04:07:57 PM
I'm trying to picture Borys as a father.
[img]http://www.andymasteroffish.com/pic/BabyStatue.jpg[img]

:rofl
Title: Re: In 7 days I'll be a married man
Post by: Mr. Gundam on October 19, 2008, 04:17:26 PM
My freedom will end in about 160 hours... my life will change, our life will change.

Any tips on being a good husband Married-Bore? Does marriage = shackles?

After 2+ years of being married, I've discovered that nothing has changed. Being a homeowner is very different than renting, but married life is just like it was when we were merely living together.

Now having kids, that's when I think things really change.

We want to have a kid next year and yeah I know this will be a true manhood test. Marriage - you can always get a divorce, car or house or dog - you can always sell it.

A kid is forever.

Do you really want to have a kid right away? We're not planning on having a child until 2010 or so...

I can't imagine getting married and then immediately (within the first year) having a child.

How old are you? We're both close to 30 years. We simply have to have a baby before being 30 years old.

27. Our plan is to have kids around 30.
Title: Re: In 7 days I'll be a married man
Post by: xnikki118x on October 20, 2008, 12:08:06 AM
Congratulations! :) :)
Title: Re: In 7 days I'll be a married man
Post by: Crushed on October 20, 2008, 01:05:45 AM
(after two days together with wife)

Borys: OMG, FEMALE OF THE FOREVER :bow

(one week later, after seeing a small screenshot of a woman in Dragon Age)

Broys: OMG, FEMALE OF THE FOREVER :bow
Title: Re: In 7 days I'll be a married man
Post by: permutated on October 20, 2008, 01:27:27 AM
I'll give you the advice my buddy Ben gave me:

(http://yogan.meinungsverstaerker.de/fun/Do_You_Know_How_to_Grow_a_Healthy_Relationship.png)
Title: Re: In 7 days I'll be a married man
Post by: pilonv1 on October 20, 2008, 01:43:27 AM
I'm trying to picture Borys as a father.
[img]http://www.andymasteroffish.com/pic/BabyStatue.jpg[img]
:rofl
omg I choked on my water :rofl :rofl

good luck borys, ive been to a polish wedding before and it wasnt a pretty sight
Title: Re: In 7 days I'll be a married man
Post by: Cormacaroni on October 20, 2008, 03:48:09 AM
Borys, i have to ask, on behalf of us all:

How the FUCK did you get past the dress-stomping incident?
Title: Re: In 7 days I'll be a married man
Post by: Tieno on October 20, 2008, 04:11:28 AM
Borys, i have to ask, on behalf of us all:

How the FUCK did you get past the dress-stomping incident?
The only thing I can think of is that it's some sort of ancient polish custom.
Title: Re: In 7 days I'll be a married man
Post by: TVC15 on October 20, 2008, 04:40:46 AM
You let her put on a strap-on?
Title: Re: In 7 days I'll be a married man
Post by: TVC15 on October 20, 2008, 02:25:11 PM
Why are you even getting married?  That's so boring and traditional.
Title: Re: In 7 days I'll be a married man
Post by: Tieno on October 20, 2008, 02:29:09 PM
Bail out Borys, it's not healthy to be nervous before your marriage, you should be happy. If you're nervous it probably says something about your love for your wife, or the lack thereoff. Can you control your urges to dress stomp?
Title: Re: In 7 days I'll be a married man
Post by: Tauntaun on October 21, 2008, 11:28:59 AM
Wrong: It is not possible for a man to enjoy marriage. Marriage is an institution created by women so they could have a stable form of income to buy shoes.

 :lol
Title: Re: In 7 days I'll be a married man
Post by: Himu on October 21, 2008, 06:07:09 PM
borys I wish you all the luck in the world

i will masturbate in your honor
Title: Re: In 7 days I'll be a married man
Post by: Tieno on October 21, 2008, 06:09:17 PM
Wrong: It is not possible for a man to enjoy marriage. Marriage is an institution created by women so they could have a stable form of income to buy shoes.
I'd enjoy marriage with your girlfriend  :-*
Title: Re: In 7 days I'll be a married man
Post by: demi on October 21, 2008, 09:24:18 PM
Remember the last thing Borys was excited for?

That's right, we got Star Wars KOTOR MMO Clone Wars

Borys' marriage is going to FLOP

HARD

:rofl
Title: Re: In 7 days I'll be a married man
Post by: Tauntaun on October 22, 2008, 10:22:40 AM
Remember the last thing Borys was excited for?

That's right, we got Star Wars KOTOR MMO Clone Wars

Borys' marriage is going to FLOP

HARD

:rofl

Don't worry Borys, there's always patches in a game.  ;)
Title: Re: In 7 days I'll be a married man
Post by: GilloD on October 22, 2008, 10:24:34 AM
Marriage is fun! It's work. But it's also fun. I wasn't nervous at all, which I guess means you're headed for divorce :(
Title: Re: In 7 days I'll be a married man
Post by: Reb on October 22, 2008, 10:48:20 AM
Marriage is fun! It's work. But it's also fun. I wasn't nervous at all, which I guess means you're headed for divorce :(

Or you are. DUN DUN DUN DUN
Title: Re: In 7 days I'll be a married man
Post by: Reb on October 22, 2008, 10:54:16 AM
http://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?p=2817064#post2817064 (http://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?p=2817064#post2817064)

There's your answer, buddy.

It took a while for me to realise what was going on.  :lol

The first response is awesome: "lol what does you being polish have to do with anything??"
Title: Re: In 7 days I'll be a married man
Post by: Powerslave on October 22, 2008, 10:55:53 AM
Kill your wife, flee to Costa Rica.
Title: Re: In 7 days I'll be a married man
Post by: Tieno on October 22, 2008, 11:44:45 AM
roffels and lollers

How are you holding up Borys? Still want to get married?
Title: Re: In 7 days I'll be a married man
Post by: Tabasco on October 22, 2008, 12:08:07 PM
someone pretended to be borys on that forum?  that's pretty weak.
Title: Re: In 7 days I'll be a married man
Post by: Tieno on October 22, 2008, 12:09:32 PM
someone pretended to be borys on that forum?  that's pretty weak.
Yeah, if you're going to pretend to be a Pole, do Kosma and be a pimp.
Title: Re: In 7 days I'll be a married man
Post by: GilloD on October 22, 2008, 12:41:25 PM
http://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?p=2817064#post2817064 (http://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?p=2817064#post2817064)

There's your answer, buddy.

 :lol
Title: Re: In 7 days I'll be a married man
Post by: Tieno on October 23, 2008, 06:41:59 AM
51 hours left

THE CLOCK IS TICKING MY FREEDOM AWAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
You seem very happy
Title: Re: In 7 days I'll be a married man
Post by: bork on October 23, 2008, 06:54:07 AM
What the hell is there to be nervous about?  CALM DOWN DUDE!   :)

Although if it's because of the ceremony I guess I can understand.  We had a very small one in Hawaii though, so this was not an issue for me.
Title: Re: In 7 days I'll be a married man
Post by: pilonv1 on October 23, 2008, 07:33:02 AM
http://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?p=2817064#post2817064 (http://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?p=2817064#post2817064)

There's your answer, buddy.

:rofl
Title: Re: In 7 days I'll be a married man
Post by: muckhole on October 23, 2008, 11:13:48 AM
51 hours left

THE CLOCK IS TICKING MY FREEDOM AWAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

Will there be strippers at the bachelor party? Or is that a purely North American custom?
Title: Re: In 7 days I'll be a married man
Post by: Tieno on October 24, 2008, 11:57:26 AM
So tomorrow huh?

Good luck Borys!
Title: Re: In 7 days I'll be a married man
Post by: Brehvolution on October 24, 2008, 02:16:06 PM
Trust me, you won't have a choice where you get married.
Title: Re: In 7 days I'll be a married man
Post by: Brehvolution on October 24, 2008, 04:10:38 PM
Trust me, you won't have a choice where you get married.
I did :rock
It's already been noted that your wife is awesome.

So where did you choose? The First church of Rational Satanist, Scientist?
Title: Re: In 7 days I'll be a married man
Post by: tiesto on October 24, 2008, 04:15:44 PM
Do Polish wedding halls really have bowling alleys attached to them?
Title: Re: In 7 days I'll be a married man
Post by: Joe Molotov on October 24, 2008, 06:11:15 PM
Is Borys married yet?
Title: Re: In 7 days I'll be a married man
Post by: Phoenix Dark on October 24, 2008, 06:22:57 PM
I wonder who his best man is
Title: Re: In 7 days I'll be a married man
Post by: bud on October 24, 2008, 07:16:02 PM
are you going to allow her to have friends?
Title: Re: In 7 days I'll be a married man
Post by: Joe Molotov on October 24, 2008, 07:28:15 PM
Borys doesn't even allow himself to have friends.
Title: Re: In 7 days I'll be a married man
Post by: pilonv1 on October 24, 2008, 07:34:38 PM
good luck borys, hope it all went well!
Title: Re: In 7 days I'll be a married man
Post by: cool breeze on October 24, 2008, 08:05:39 PM
Wedding vows need to be 'colon bow marriage colon bow two, colon piss divorce colon piss two'
Title: Re: In 7 days I'll be a married man
Post by: demi on October 27, 2008, 05:36:55 AM
http://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?p=2817064#post2817064 (http://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?p=2817064#post2817064)

There's your answer, buddy.

:rofl

How did I not see this. FOLLOW UP ON IT

Post the dress story :lol :lol
Title: Re: In 7 days I'll be a married man
Post by: Powerslave on October 27, 2008, 11:42:25 AM
probably > :piss2

:rofl
Title: Re: In 7 days I'll be a married man
Post by: Ganhyun on October 27, 2008, 12:47:23 PM
Or he and his wife are still making Sexy Time.
Title: Re: In 7 days I'll be a married man
Post by: BobFromPikeCreek on October 27, 2008, 12:48:30 PM
And so begins the divorce countdown.
Title: Re: In 7 days I'll be a married man
Post by: TVC15 on October 27, 2008, 12:53:28 PM
Or he and his wife are still making Sexy Time.

I think a murder-suicide is more likely.  Borys away from the internet for 2 full days?  I don't buy it.  I bet he socked his wife in the jaw, ripped off the wedding dress, stomped it, placed her stunned and naked body on top of the dress, and just stomped repeatedly on her gash until he saw some shade of every color of the rainbow come out.  After that, the hedge clippers came out, and maybe he had sex with her.  He popped off each finger individually, and when he felt especially spirited, maybe he takes off a fingernail before the severing.  After a hand or two, he realizes that blood loss might bring an unintended end to the sweet miseryhe is delivering, so maybe he uses a belt or part of the wedding dress to stop the bleeding.  Needing to take a break for a bit from anything that will externally bleed, he starts work on the ribs.  He hears knocking on the door and a voice asking what's going on, interrupting Borys's mental train of thought, which is pondering turning her intestines into exquisite polish meats.
Title: Re: In 7 days I'll be a married man
Post by: BobFromPikeCreek on October 27, 2008, 12:55:27 PM
Or he and his wife are still making Sexy Time.

I think a murder-suicide is more likely.  Borys away from the internet for 2 full days?  I don't buy it.  I bet he socked his wife in the jaw, ripped off the wedding dress, stomped it, placed her stunned and naked body on top of the dress, and just stomped repeatedly on her gash until he saw some shade of every color of the rainbow come out.  After that, the hedge clippers came out, and maybe he had sex with her.  He popped off each finger individually, and when he felt especially spirited, maybe he takes off a fingernail before the severing.  After a hand or two, he realizes that blood loss might bring an unintended end to the sweet miseryhe is delivering, so maybe he uses a belt or part of the wedding dress to stop the bleeding.  Needing to take a break for a bit from anything that will externally bleed, he starts work on the ribs.  He hears knocking on the door and a voice asking what's going on, interrupting Borys's mental train of thought, which is pondering turning her intestines into exquisite polish meats.

Yeah probably that.
Title: Re: In 7 days I'll be a married man
Post by: T234 on October 27, 2008, 12:56:33 PM
I think TVC writes in the erotic horror section of literotica.
Title: Re: In 7 days I'll be a married man
Post by: TVC15 on October 27, 2008, 01:05:13 PM
Everyone here will be shocked when it happens.  They'll interview all of us since we're the closest thing Borys has to friends or family.  All of you will be on TV going "I couldn't believe it!  He was kinda weird but ultimately he was a nice guy!"  And then they'll put me on, and I'll say "I knew he was the craziest psychopath I had ever encountered the moment I met him, and I knew he'd end up like this.  I even knew that he was too much of a polack pussy to kill himself.  What a fuckin' pussy.  Suicide-by-cop?  I have to hand it to him for following through to the very end, and I really didn't think he'd actually put on that semen-, bile-, and blood-covered wedding dress after he raped and murdered and again raped his wife on it."  After they interview me on TV, I'll be a big star and everyone will love me.  They'll talk about me in People and shit and I will bang Anderson Cooper, but only because Ira Glass is straight :(
Title: Re: In 7 days I'll be a married man
Post by: Tabasco on October 27, 2008, 01:11:35 PM
I thought you were going to let GG be your id?
Title: Re: In 7 days I'll be a married man
Post by: Tieno on October 27, 2008, 03:15:32 PM
Everyone here will be shocked when it happens.  They'll interview all of us since we're the closest thing Borys has to friends or family.  All of you will be on TV going "I couldn't believe it!  He was kinda weird but ultimately he was a nice guy!"  And then they'll put me on, and I'll say "I knew he was the craziest psychopath I had ever encountered the moment I met him, and I knew he'd end up like this.  I even knew that he was too much of a polack pussy to kill himself.  What a fuckin' pussy.  Suicide-by-cop?  I have to hand it to him for following through to the very end, and I really didn't think he'd actually put on that semen-, bile-, and blood-covered wedding dress after he raped and murdered and again raped his wife on it."  After they interview me on TV, I'll be a big star and everyone will love me.  They'll talk about me in People and shit and I will bang Anderson Cooper, but only because Ira Glass is straight :(
They'll arrest you for not doing anything to stop that sick fuck Borys.
Title: Re: In 7 days I'll be a married man
Post by: TVC15 on October 27, 2008, 03:17:43 PM
What could I have done?  I had no explicit evidence, just my hunches.  If I went to Poland and murdered him before he had a chance to murder his wife, they'd lock me up.  Besides, I'd be terrified to confront him.  He's far, far crazier than I am.
Title: Re: In 7 days I'll be a married man
Post by: Tieno on October 27, 2008, 03:18:54 PM
You should have called the cops or the polish equivalent of cops (do they have cops in Poland?).
Title: Re: In 7 days I'll be a married man
Post by: TVC15 on October 27, 2008, 03:21:04 PM
It's easy to say that now that people are dead, but even just a day or two ago, we had no real convincing proof that this would happen, aside from a vodka-soaked wedding dress with some boot prints on it.
Title: Re: In 7 days I'll be a married man
Post by: Reb on October 27, 2008, 03:23:28 PM
His boots are made for stomping, and that's just what they'll do.
Title: Re: In 7 days I'll be a married man
Post by: Ganhyun on October 27, 2008, 04:50:04 PM
His boots are made for stomping, and that's just what they'll do.

 :lol :lol :lol

Quote
TVC's story

 :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol

Title: Re: In 7 days I'll be a married man
Post by: Himu on October 27, 2008, 04:54:47 PM
Congrats Borys!
Title: Re: In 7 days I'll be a married man
Post by: TVC15 on October 28, 2008, 01:27:14 AM
I keep writing Mary Sue Anderson Cooper porno in my head :(  I can't bring myself to write it down.