THE BORE

General => The Superdeep Borehole => Topic started by: Van Cruncheon on October 19, 2008, 09:51:15 PM

Title: i am about to watch indiana jones and that crystal skull shiz
Post by: Van Cruncheon on October 19, 2008, 09:51:15 PM: should i do it? my wife rented it. i am expecting the worse. on an awfulness scale of raiders (0) to juno (10), where should i expect this to land?
Title: Re: i am about to watch indiana jones and that crystal skull shiz
Post by: TVC15 on October 19, 2008, 09:54:08 PM: You kind have to watch it, even if only for completion.

Warning: it bad.
Title: Re: i am about to watch indiana jones and that crystal skull shiz
Post by: Phoenix Dark on October 19, 2008, 09:55:08 PM: As a young, agile 21 year old I hated it. But perhaps as an older man entering his senior years you'll identify with the older Indy. You may find yourself nodding your head when he wittily points out that things used to be much easier
Title: Re: i am about to watch indiana jones and that crystal skull shiz
Post by: Van Cruncheon on October 19, 2008, 09:55:55 PM: if he lectures shia about taking a good shit for granted, i shall definitely agree
Title: Re: i am about to watch indiana jones and that crystal skull shiz
Post by: Phoenix Dark on October 19, 2008, 09:56:40 PM: Temple of Doom>>>>Crystal Skull
Title: Re: i am about to watch indiana jones and that crystal skull shiz
Post by: Van Cruncheon on October 19, 2008, 09:59:48 PM: oh god, it's that bad?
Title: Re: i am about to watch indiana jones and that crystal skull shiz
Post by: Madrun Badrun on October 19, 2008, 09:59:54 PM: I didn't think it was that bad. Besides the fridge scene.
6/10.

spoiler (click to show/hide)
Fuck you I'm not Butters!
[close]
Title: Re: i am about to watch indiana jones and that crystal skull shiz
Post by: TakingBackSunday on October 19, 2008, 10:01:32 PM: Quote from: Professor Prole on October 19, 2008, 09:59:48 PM
oh god, it's that bad?

My gut reaction after seeing it was "HAHAHA GUYS IT WAS GREAT RIGHT? RIGHT? IT WASN'T AS BAD AS IT COULD'VE BEEN RIGHT? RIGHT?"

I was actually crying inside though. After months of reflection...

:'( :'( :'(
Title: Re: i am about to watch indiana jones and that crystal skull shiz
Post by: Madrun Badrun on October 19, 2008, 10:01:33 PM: Quote from: Thanks But No Thanks on October 19, 2008, 09:56:40 PM
Temple of Doom = Crystal Skull
.

It just seems like it's worse because we aren't use to it. It's new shit, which is always the stinkiest And because we didn't see it when we were a kid like Temple.
Title: Re: i am about to watch indiana jones and that crystal skull shiz
Post by: Phoenix Dark on October 19, 2008, 10:01:47 PM: Temple of Doom is bad bad bad, BUT at least it features a particularly badass Indy, plus Shortround (haters be damned).

Crystal Skull has no redeeming qualities, which is a shame because the crystal skull mythos is actually very interesting.
Title: Re: i am about to watch indiana jones and that crystal skull shiz
Post by: TakingBackSunday on October 19, 2008, 10:04:26 PM: Actually, I'll argue against it in an opposite manner: The movie blows because of the crystal skulls plotline. It's got some classic, good Indy music (sans a good, awesome use of the main theme) with a lot of pretty awesome Speilberg-esque chase scenes. Lucas' influence overpowers near the end though, and it gets shiiiiiity.
Title: Re: i am about to watch indiana jones and that crystal skull shiz
Post by: Van Cruncheon on October 19, 2008, 10:06:53 PM: i watch raiders at least once a year. it is a ridiculously good piece of action pulp cinema -- in fact, it might be the definitive piece.
Title: Re: i am about to watch indiana jones and that crystal skull shiz
Post by: TakingBackSunday on October 19, 2008, 10:09:21 PM: Quote from: Professor Prole on October 19, 2008, 10:06:53 PM
i watch raiders at least once a year. it is a ridiculously good piece of action pulp cinema -- in fact, it might be the definitive piece.

This takes all of that and sorta dismisses it :(
Title: Re: i am about to watch indiana jones and that crystal skull shiz
Post by: TVC15 on October 19, 2008, 10:10:07 PM: Temple of Doom is definitely the better movie. There is no question, and I have recently seen all of the movies.
Title: Re: i am about to watch indiana jones and that crystal skull shiz
Post by: Van Cruncheon on October 19, 2008, 10:10:24 PM: oh jesus :(
Title: Re: i am about to watch indiana jones and that crystal skull shiz
Post by: Phoenix Dark on October 19, 2008, 10:13:10 PM: Raiders is basically the perfect action/adventure movie. I really like Last Crusade as well (it's the blueprint for awesome buddy type adventure movies imo).

I've met many people who had never seen ToD until recently. They went in expecting Indy goodness and instead got :'( :'( :'(

Well, most people. I know two people who prefer ToD over Raiders, which is the ultimate smh
Title: Re: i am about to watch indiana jones and that crystal skull shiz
Post by: Mr. Gundam on October 19, 2008, 10:14:45 PM: I wonder how much I would've enjoyed it without the whole monkey scene. That above everything else bugged me the most.
Title: Re: i am about to watch indiana jones and that crystal skull shiz
Post by: TVC15 on October 19, 2008, 10:15:38 PM: Temple of Doom at least has cool stand out scenes. Crystal Skull has nothing. All the chases are very "We've done this before" and when they try to do new shit (fridge, shia with monkeys) it is very very gay. I can at least put ToD in and know I'm going to have the cool beginning, the heart ripping, and the mine cart, but there's NOTHING redeeming in Crystal Skull at all. Nothing I'd ever want to see again.

Also, first shot of the movie being obvious CG is just like, are they even trying? Way too shit up the establishing shot in the whole movie. Is Spielberg distinguished mentally-challenged?
Title: Re: i am about to watch indiana jones and that crystal skull shiz
Post by: TakingBackSunday on October 19, 2008, 10:16:30 PM: I actually don't really mind ToD as much as I used to, now that I realize how important it was to me as a kid. It was the first Indy movie I saw, and I loved the shit out of it. I still remember distinctly Shorty punching that little kid while Indy beat the shit out of that fat man. Awesome stuff.
Title: Re: i am about to watch indiana jones and that crystal skull shiz
Post by: DJ_Tet on October 19, 2008, 10:17:05 PM: Definitely Temple is way better than this.

There are a few decent Indy moments though, notably the interrogation scene midway through where you think the movie might actually turn out decent. It doesn't.

That last shot is ridiculous but it is pretty beautiful and breathtaking as well.

I don't hate this movie as much as most, it's hardly the worst movie ever made. It just has a few ridiculous parts and as a whole is unneccessary.

The monkey scene ruins the last act.
Title: Re: i am about to watch indiana jones and that crystal skull shiz
Post by: Bocsius on October 19, 2008, 10:32:56 PM: I didn't see it in theatres, but I went and bought the DVD yesterday and watched it last night.

It certainly is the weakest of the Jones movies, and the opening sequences weren't very good. It took a while, in fact, just to figure out if the movie would even have a cohesive plot, or if it would just be some mumbling interspersed between chase sequences. I don't think the antagonists and their motives were ever established all that well, either. "These guys communists. These guys bad." (Said in the voice of a heavily-satarized Frankenstein.)

Once the movie got going a bit and the plot became more evident, it improved. Not a great deal, but still.

Then again, I could just be an apologist. I enjoy the Star Wars prequel trilogy, after all, although I certainly see its faults.
Title: Re: i am about to watch indiana jones and that crystal skull shiz
Post by: TVC15 on October 19, 2008, 10:37:03 PM: Yeah, it's not the worst movie ever made or anything. it just made me want to put a scalpel in my dick hole and cut towards me.
Title: Re: i am about to watch indiana jones and that crystal skull shiz
Post by: abrader on October 19, 2008, 10:40:48 PM: I have been wanting to check this out too - havent seen it yet.
Title: Re: i am about to watch indiana jones and that crystal skull shiz
Post by: Cormacaroni on October 19, 2008, 11:31:01 PM: Why does everyone hate on Temple of Doom? I loved it as a kid, watched it many times as did everyone i knew, and I still like it now. I re-watched it when the DVD box-set came out, still liked it. Thrills and spills galore. Before I came to the Bore, I had literally never encountered a human being who hated on an Indy movie.

???
Title: Re: i am about to watch indiana jones and that crystal skull shiz
Post by: Van Cruncheon on October 19, 2008, 11:36:07 PM: i recently watched it, and was appalled by the terrible dialogue and pacing (and acting), mostly. like tvc said, it has a few iconic scenes, but overall, it's pretty bad.
Title: Re: i am about to watch indiana jones and that crystal skull shiz
Post by: Phoenix Dark on October 19, 2008, 11:37:36 PM: Marion was pretty hot tho :o
Title: Re: i am about to watch indiana jones and that crystal skull shiz
Post by: Van Cruncheon on October 19, 2008, 11:38:32 PM: oh god, prairie dogs.
Title: Re: i am about to watch indiana jones and that crystal skull shiz
Post by: The Fake Shemp on October 19, 2008, 11:43:54 PM: You like that CG in that opening shot, don't you, bitch?
Title: Re: i am about to watch indiana jones and that crystal skull shiz
Post by: fistfulofmetal on October 19, 2008, 11:52:19 PM: The CG mushroom cloud was really cool looking.
Title: Re: i am about to watch indiana jones and that crystal skull shiz
Post by: Human Snorenado on October 19, 2008, 11:52:52 PM: Quote from: Willco on October 19, 2008, 11:43:54 PM
You like that CG in that opening shot, don't you, bitch?

That's all George Lucas. If he could have figured out how to get robots into every other scene of the movie he would have.

This movie really combined the worst of both Lucas (terrible script, acting, directing even tho it was his buddy Steven) and Spielberg (bizarre fascination with aliens, tendency to cheesify things gets unleashed here).
Title: Re: i am about to watch indiana jones and that crystal skull shiz
Post by: AdmiralViscen on October 20, 2008, 12:30:04 AM: I thought the fridge was waaay worse than the monkey thing. Plot too.
Title: Re: i am about to watch indiana jones and that crystal skull shiz
Post by: etiolate on October 20, 2008, 01:30:24 AM: So bad. Cheesey lines, ridiculous moments, and a dumb plot.

I watched National Treasure 2 about a week before watching this, which is a very similar movie, even including a city of gold plot. Yet, for all its freemasonry, government conspiracy, cryptic secret bs, and even having the city of gold in the wrong part of America, National Treasure 2 was more believable.

I mean it fucking had aliens and the aliens were one of the most believable parts.
Title: Re: i am about to watch indiana jones and that crystal skull shiz
Post by: Van Cruncheon on October 20, 2008, 02:06:36 AM: quite possibly the stupidest ending i have ever beheld in cinema, and that includes countless mst3k movies
Title: Re: i am about to watch indiana jones and that crystal skull shiz
Post by: Enl on October 20, 2008, 02:13:11 AM: Somewhere up there your grandpa is laughing his ass off on how thankful he was to die before taking part in this stupid adventure.
Title: Re: i am about to watch indiana jones and that crystal skull shiz
Post by: cloudwalking on October 20, 2008, 05:41:13 AM: Quote from: jarosh on October 20, 2008, 05:29:21 AM
:piss the dark shyte :piss2

:bow WINdiana jones :bow2

right on :swiss
Title: Re: i am about to watch indiana jones and that crystal skull shiz
Post by: The Fake Shemp on October 20, 2008, 07:20:57 AM: Hey, Swedish meatballs:

(http://www.cloudwalking.net/img/stfukirby3.jpg)
Title: Re: i am about to watch indiana jones and that crystal skull shiz
Post by: Eel O'Brian on October 20, 2008, 08:57:34 AM: this was the only indiana jones movie i didn't see in the theater

i still haven't seen it
Title: Re: i am about to watch indiana jones and that crystal skull shiz
Post by: Human Snorenado on October 20, 2008, 09:11:06 AM: Quote from: Willco on October 20, 2008, 07:20:57 AM
Hey, Swedish meatballs:

(http://www.cloudwalking.net/img/stfukirby3.jpg)

:shh They're Swiss. But they're still wrong. So, so wrong.
Title: Re: i am about to watch indiana jones and that crystal skull shiz
Post by: radioheadrule83 on October 20, 2008, 09:31:46 AM: I could have swallowed the alien involvement quite happily. I don't think it has anything to do with WHY the movie is bad. The Roswell Incident (which is referred to in the movie) happened in 1947, and thereafter the world became more obsessed with the idea of visitors... HG Wells' War of the Worlds, The Day the Earth Stood Still, Invasion of the Body Snatchers -- they all had releases in the 50s. I didn't mind the refridgerator thing. I gave it a free pass because the shot of him standing with the mushroom cloud looming looked so awesome. Again - the atom bomb was big news back then. The H-Bomb tested in 1952 had 1000 times the power of the A-bomb. Obviously, the cold war was big news too. The McCarthy style accusations flying around (alluded to pretty badly in the Indy movie) were standard fare too.

So all of that is fine in my book. Had they made a good movie, they really could have seperated this from the 'religious / divine' Indy trilogy, and made something that would stand alone as something different but cool. But they didn't.

What sucked:

Not shooting in proper locations
-- The first scene at Area 51 just looked wrong. And the dialogue sounded so tinned and rubbish.
-- The terrible jungle chase WAS actually partly filmed in a proper jungle location (in Hawaii or something) but they merged it with film/photo assets from Argentina, which resulted in the very fake look.
-- There was no sense of geography. The waterfall seemed to lead them through a mountain under a river, only for them to come out by a big hidden temple / sand sentinel thing which was basically out in the open, and surely viewable from the air (like the Nazca lines)... their escape from that huge structure at the end seemed dubiously fast.

Irina Spalko
-- Not as good as any prior indy villain. She was REALLY hammy in fact. Terrible. Stalin probably did have all sorts of weird research projects, but her attempting to mind read at the beginning of the movie was the first warning that this movie was going to disappoint.

Vine swinging, sword fighting Shia.
-- Had they toned this down from Attack of the Clones levels of improv action, not only would Mutt have been a more popular character, but the whole movie wouldn't have sucked so badly.

Driving off a cliff, landing on a tree.
-- dumb dumb dumb.

Oxley generally being annoying
-- If Connery had agreed to be in it, Henry Jones Snr was going to have Oxley's annoying afflictions apparently

Marion Ravenwood.
-- Karen Allen basically had this look on her face through the entire thing like ":D yay I'm in a movie again"

I don't understand how - in a film crew of hundreds - with such massive companies behind it: no-one stood up to some of that BS.
Title: Re: i am about to watch indiana jones and that crystal skull shiz
Post by: Tauntaun on October 20, 2008, 10:30:21 AM: Edit: :-\ busted youtube vid

:-\
Title: Re: i am about to watch indiana jones and that crystal skull shiz
Post by: Bloodwake on October 20, 2008, 12:34:32 PM: The two stupid things in Indiana Jones I will give Evilbore credit for:

The lead refrigerator
Shia with monkeys. (which almost ruined an amazing chase sequence)

Other than that: Aliens are no less believable than a Jesus box that melts peoples faces off. Unless, of course, you guys have some religious beliefs that you aren't telling me about that incline you to believe more in religious based plot lines than alien based plot lines.

While I disagree with Jarosh and I must say that Dark Knight was much fucking better, KOTCS was at least better than Temple of Doom, and about as believable as Temple of Doom.

Plus, I don't get the prairie dog complaints. It's such a tiny, tiny part of the film that was an obvious stab at a chuckle, not full blown out lulz of amazing.
Title: Re: i am about to watch indiana jones and that crystal skull shiz
Post by: TakingBackSunday on October 20, 2008, 12:40:16 PM: Eh, see, aliens might be more BELIEVABLE, but this is a archeologist. Archeologists, by default, deal with religious artifacts. That just goes with the namesake, and thus more believable in that aspect.
Title: Re: i am about to watch indiana jones and that crystal skull shiz
Post by: Phoenix Dark on October 20, 2008, 03:03:33 PM: Quote from: Bloodwake on October 20, 2008, 12:34:32 PM
Other than that: Aliens are no less believable than a Jesus box that melts peoples faces off. Unless, of course, you guys have some religious beliefs that you aren't telling me about that incline you to believe more in religious based plot lines than alien based plot lines.

It wasn't about believability for me. The scene in Raiders where Indy explains the Ark story to the agents is truly amazing on every level, and sucks you right in. Aliens probably could have been handled very well in CC, the problem is that they weren't.