THE BORE

General => The Superdeep Borehole => Topic started by: drew on December 18, 2008, 12:37:05 PM

Title: Bangkok Dangerous tomatometer SMH
Post by: drew on December 18, 2008, 12:37:05 PM
(http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r126/Drewsy_photobucket/Picture9-4.png)

(http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r126/Drewsy_photobucket/2a7v81i.gif)

this is a joke right

right?
I was mad but then i noticed that pretty much every (http://images.rottentomatoes.com/images/tomato/rotten.gif) review was written by a complete tool:

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A by-the-numbers retread that’s ill-conceived as an action vehicle for Cage.
(http://images.rottentomatoes.com/images/author/photo/12102_icon.gif) :hurr
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Just another cycle of bombast and boredom.
(http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r126/Drewsy_photobucket/jerkit.gif)
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This could have been good.
and you could have been a filmmaker
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A torpid Cage hitman-action piece inoculated with an Asian strain.
(http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r126/Drewsy_photobucket/jerkit.gif)
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The film is handsomely cold looking, but so generic that it's hard to work up much interest in its car chases, shoot outs and frequent breaks to ogle the firm young flesh for sale in Bangkok's fleshpots.
(http://images.rottentomatoes.com/images/author/photo/1179_icon.gif)
ugly feminist. next.
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Toxic and tedious, it's 'Bangkok Boring.'
(http://images.rottentomatoes.com/images/author/photo/1274_icon.gif)
some mom that thinks shes witty and "fun". next.
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Here's a note to Nicolas Cage: Your stylist hates you. Your director and screenwriters? Not so far behind.
(http://images.rottentomatoes.com/images/author/photo/5896_icon.gif)(http://opa-ages.com/forums/style_emoticons/default/gay.gif)
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Certainly lives down to its title, which sounds like a caveman giving travel advice.
(http://images.rottentomatoes.com/images/author/photo/10860_icon.gif)
fraternity rapist makes shitty joke that doesnt make any fucking sense. next.
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Heavy on the spice and cheap on the meat, Bangkok Dangerous adds plenty of Thai seasoning to the Hollywood lone-assassin recipe, but the result is only mildly pungent.
oh jesus christ (http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r126/Drewsy_photobucket/jerkit.gif)



Conclusion:  Bangkok Dangerous is movie of the fucking year.  Discuss.
Title: Re: Bangkok Dangerous tomatometer SMH
Post by: Barry Egan on December 18, 2008, 01:05:40 PM
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Certainly lives down to its title, which sounds like a caveman giving travel advice.

haha, that's actually pretty funny  8)
Title: Re: Bangkok Dangerous tomatometer SMH
Post by: jiji on December 18, 2008, 01:07:07 PM
You can cherry-pick groaners from bad reviews of pretty much any bad film.
Title: Re: Bangkok Dangerous tomatometer SMH
Post by: Great Rumbler on December 18, 2008, 03:33:33 PM
You can cherry-pick groaners from bad reviews of pretty much any bad film.

Pretty much. Universally panned movies give low-ranking reviewers an excuse to attempt to be funny and use lots of puns.
Title: Re: Bangkok Dangerous tomatometer SMH
Post by: fistfulofmetal on December 18, 2008, 04:00:08 PM
was it the AIDs chick?
Title: Re: Bangkok Dangerous tomatometer SMH
Post by: Reb on December 18, 2008, 05:20:44 PM
Was it AN AIDS chick?
Title: Re: Bangkok Dangerous tomatometer SMH
Post by: HyperZoneWasAwesome on December 18, 2008, 09:48:46 PM
even fans of the Pang Bros. (and I'd count myself among them) would tell you that they run hot and cold.  I wouldn't be surprised at all that they made another shitty American movie (see also, The Messengers).

and need I remind the world what is already obvious, Nic Cage hasn't had the best last several years (HOW'D IT GET BURNED).
Title: Re: Bangkok Dangerous tomatometer SMH
Post by: EvilBoris on December 18, 2008, 09:51:50 PM
 he leads the next herzog movie though 8)