i have a penis
i have a penis
Sorry, not manly enough. You need an erect penis to be a man.
I'm sitting in bed in my underwear with my cat next to me watching Blossom on my projector. Am I in?
Punched out a bear.
Fuck no, I ate it raw.
While it was still alive.
While it was still alive.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y4l0BS3RPvc
So, not satisfying yer significant other in the sack, eh?
I just jerked off in the shower while brushing my teeth
Dare you to top that...
I made lunch and dinner for 3 kids. Vacuumed the living room. Emptied and refilled the dishwasher. I'm about to put my son to bed and crack open my first beer of the night.
:flex
I did 25 push ups when i woke up, did 10 min of abs exercises this afternoon, ate a juicy stake for dinner, watched Two Thrones at a friends house and her little brother, boned her, came home, walked on the rain because it's raining like shit, fed my Rottweiller, and i'm posting on Real Talk now.
Real talk. I don't feel like the manliest dude on earth, but i did all this sporting a mustache and a beard, so i don't know...i don't feel like a kid either. Or a bitch.
I've always loved a woman that drinks beer.
I don't like Steak. It tastes plain.
BE GENTLE TO ME
I don't like Steak. It tastes plain.
BE GENTLE TO ME
i don't even eat meat but I can kick the ass of a meateating shit-talker any dayWell jesus, anyone who isn't a cripple can kick an ass. All it requires is a foot.
i don't even eat meat but I can kick the ass of a meateating shit-talker any dayWell jesus, anyone who isn't a cripple can kick an ass. All it requires is a foot.
i don't even eat meat but I can kick the ass of a meateating shit-talker any dayWell jesus, anyone who isn't a cripple can kick an ass. All it requires is a foot.
Okay. I just watched The Running Man.
What you most expect from a 80s Arnie film is homoeroticism, and in that regard the film certainly delivers. The first shot of Arnie (post Bakersfield massacre) is of him carrying a massive steel girder on his shoulder (it's a repeat of the shot in Commando where you're introduced to Schwarzenegger with the visual of him carrying a huge log). And no sooner has the film started than he's grabbing men by their privates and smoking unfeasibly large cigars.
But there's also Killian (the Bobby Heenan-style game show host). When he first sees Arnie, running (muscles-a-bulging) in dreamy slow-motion, he says, "Hello gorgeous." And in the course of the scene he also says, "Isn't he beautiful?" and shouts, "I want him!" I bet he's got a steel girder in his pants. But when he first meets Arnie face to face he coos, "Hi, cutie pie." Now I've got a steel girder too.
But as log-friendly as this banter is, it's amateur league punk stuff when you compare it to the Captain Freedom workout. Jesse Ventura appears on the screen, shouting, "Are you ready for pain? Are you ready for suffering? If the answer is yes, then you're ready for Captain Freedom's workout." Tent city.
IMDB movie review of The Running ManQuoteWhat you most expect from a 80s Arnie film is homoeroticism, and in that regard the film certainly delivers. The first shot of Arnie (post Bakersfield massacre) is of him carrying a massive steel girder on his shoulder (it's a repeat of the shot in Commando where you're introduced to Schwarzenegger with the visual of him carrying a huge log). And no sooner has the film started than he's grabbing men by their privates and smoking unfeasibly large cigars.
But there's also Killian (the Bobby Heenan-style game show host). When he first sees Arnie, running (muscles-a-bulging) in dreamy slow-motion, he says, "Hello gorgeous." And in the course of the scene he also says, "Isn't he beautiful?" and shouts, "I want him!" I bet he's got a steel girder in his pants. But when he first meets Arnie face to face he coos, "Hi, cutie pie." Now I've got a steel girder too.
But as log-friendly as this banter is, it's amateur league punk stuff when you compare it to the Captain Freedom workout. Jesse Ventura appears on the screen, shouting, "Are you ready for pain? Are you ready for suffering? If the answer is yes, then you're ready for Captain Freedom's workout." Tent city.
ok thats it, the whole embedding in widescreen for videos that arent even widescreen thing needs to stop
ok thats it, the whole embedding in widescreen for videos that arent even widescreen thing needs to stop
IMDB movie review of The Running ManQuoteWhat you most expect from a 80s Arnie film is homoeroticism, and in that regard the film certainly delivers. The first shot of Arnie (post Bakersfield massacre) is of him carrying a massive steel girder on his shoulder (it's a repeat of the shot in Commando where you're introduced to Schwarzenegger with the visual of him carrying a huge log). And no sooner has the film started than he's grabbing men by their privates and smoking unfeasibly large cigars.
But there's also Killian (the Bobby Heenan-style game show host). When he first sees Arnie, running (muscles-a-bulging) in dreamy slow-motion, he says, "Hello gorgeous." And in the course of the scene he also says, "Isn't he beautiful?" and shouts, "I want him!" I bet he's got a steel girder in his pants. But when he first meets Arnie face to face he coos, "Hi, cutie pie." Now I've got a steel girder too.
But as log-friendly as this banter is, it's amateur league punk stuff when you compare it to the Captain Freedom workout. Jesse Ventura appears on the screen, shouting, "Are you ready for pain? Are you ready for suffering? If the answer is yes, then you're ready for Captain Freedom's workout." Tent city.
Men fear me
Women want me
Children idolize me
Getting a blowjob isnt manly unless you cum on their face.
Getting a blowjob isnt manly unless you cum on their face.
Last night some girl gave me shit because I hooked up with her friend on new year's eve and I never called her again.
:rock Being a man :rock
I just had a lavender essential oil bath with Dido playing on the CD player in the other room.
:lol
My glasses just got all steamed up.
Last night some girl gave me shit because I hooked up with her friend on new year's eve and I never called her again.
:rock Being a man :rock
That just makes you a dick.
:lol
My glasses just got all steamed up.
That's from all the one-armed push-ups you're doing. :punch :punch :punch
I just had a lavender essential oil bath with Dido playing on the CD player in the other room.
Being sufficiently secure in your manliness to engage in such girly activities = :heartbeat VERY MANLY :heartbeat
Jinfash, you're a dentist?That's not why he told me to open my mouth wide!
Curse could you save some of the pulled teeth for me so I can make a necklace out of them. That would be fuck-manly.
Curse could you save some of the pulled teeth for me so I can make a necklace out of them. That would be fuck-manly.
An anklet would be even more manly.
I pushed a car out of a snowbank with one arm and am now sitting here typing this post with my back straight, elbows out, whilst alternately flexing my pectorals.
My beef jerky is a little salty :'( I shouldn't have mixed and matched recipes. Oh well. Perhaps next week I'll make a better batch.